Hi Reine. Q1 No, Q2 Yes, Q3 Probably yes. Regards, Patsy.
Hi Reine. Q1 No, Q2 Yes, Q3 Probably yes. Regards, Patsy.
L’imagination au pouvoir!
Hi Reine, since I started accepting my cd'ing more, I also look at women critically but I think that is quite diffent then their sexual attractiveness to me.
I know your questions are valid but I think it is quite natural to observe and learn about what you enjoy doing or what you have interets in.
Definitely in the last week, my attentions have switched from checking out girlsto checking out the girls as a whole, what they're wearing, how they're wearing it, what their body type is and if they're stylish and then think about what i'd like to have that they're wearing. Quite a shift from being a red blooded male lol But I find i'm looking less at the type of girls that would be my type and looking more at girls that are 6ft tall or carrying out a few extra pounds like me and trying to deduce how they look so feminine and trying to employ such techniques into my repertoire so that I could possibly be passable as the GGs!
In drab mode, women are what floats my boat, but Im having more of an understanding of what its like to get inside the mind of a GG, but if I was out on a night out as Tara, my intentions wouldn't be to get with another woman, I would definitely like to be considered "one of the sisters".
For me, there is a big line in the sand between being a man attracted to women(who happens to like dressing like women) and being a woman who wants to be herself and be accepted by everyone for who she is most of all (and is probably best described as a lesbian, but not a practising one lol)
EDIT: But I dont know how I feel about as a "woman" towards another CDer, they're my true sisters
Tara, the fab me!
I'm not sure whether it's due to the fact that I've always felt more like a woman or my polysexuality, but I definitely see women as "sisters" before potential lovers. Some of my best friends are girls. I think I approach women wanting to be friends first off, then potentially growing into something more. On a different but similar note, girls tend to accept me as "one of the girls" whereas guys tend to see me as really feminine. I still have a lot of guy friends in spite of this, weirdly enough.
1. I am attracted to them sexually, or wish to be them, but I am not sexually attracted to the idea of being them. These thoughts are mutually exclusive, but they do tend to compete with each other in my head.Originally Posted by ReineD
2. I think my relationship is becoming more platonic because we're older now, but my thoughts are still as in #1 and haven't changed in my entire life.
3. I desire at times to experience everything a "hot babe" experiences: to look good, to wear great clothes, and to even have sex as a woman. To be blunt, I can have sex with a beautiful woman or be her having sex. Either option appeals to me.
Do you think that looking at women critically and seeing them as sisters affects your sexuality toward them in general?
No. I'd still bang 'em ...but ... I am now very wary of what genetic defects makeup may be covering
and I appreciate all the time they spend on their hair to make it look nice.
I am however very excited when they bring home shopping bags but also disappointed when they didn't take me on that trip.
Pretty much the only women who are off limits to my sexual desires are my own related sister and blood relatives. I still feel sexually attracted to and interested in my female friends no matter how friendly I get with them. Being interested in their behavior, make up, hair styling and what and how they wear what they do only makes me more desirous of them as sexual human beings. I never had any sexual desires about men; though that would have been a natural progression from having submissive and/or receptive sexual desires, maybe because I was on the receiving end of beatings at the hands of males as a child, that I found men to be so very repulsive that it killed any desire for relationships with them, that it includes a feeling of distrust and very few male friendships to this day.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
I have to say that it has taken me a while to get to the point where I can answer this question honestly.
CD'ing has absolutely changed the way I look at women. I look at how they have put them selves together. I can both admire and criticize the ensemble that they have on.
Since accepting this side of me, I have had some fantasies about being with a man. I'm not attracted to men. I have never looked at a man and thought of him as hot or sexy. I've never been aroused by the way a man looks. But, there is this curious part of me that wonders what it would be like to be with a man while I'm En Fem mode. I may have had a couple thoughts like this prior to accepting Amy, but after accepting her they have picked up in frequency quite a bit.
I certainly have found a new respect for everything women go through to look pretty! I admire and respect them more than I ever thought was possible.
"Oh my God, I realized, it's not that we're screwed up; it's just that we've been trained to thnk so."
~Rick Novic, Alice in Genderland
Since I turned to womanhood, I can't help but look at GG women differently. I often study them closely and try to emulate their actions, how they walk, how they talk, how they hold and conduct themselves into my own lifestyle
When I see a women the first thing I do is see what she's wearing and how she looks just like most ggs' do.
I prefer woman friends to male my bff is female.
Sexually I see myself as a lesbian,
I am definitely not attracted to men as a male.
Last edited by rata; 09-03-2013 at 02:17 AM.
I only can see women as sisters not even remotely sexually attracted to them and I can see them as competition
I find other women very sexy and attactive, when I am in girl mode, I love to flirt. Even though I am "involved" my boyfriend has told me that he wouldn't have any problem if I had a fling with another woman. Someday, maybe, with the right woman.
Hi Reine ,
I would like to offer my explanation for the "paradox". In my quest to make sense of myself I found literature that suggest our personalities are made up of "properties" (I can't find a better word). These all have a spectrum and we lie somewhere on that spectrum. Different places on the spectrum for each "property". Two of these "properties" are gender identity and sexual orientation. I lie somewhere between the average and women on gender identity and between hetro and average on sexual orientation. We can thus choose to compartimentilise or integrate but I believe that we do not change. We can also choose to accept or to compensate.
As with all things we spend time on, we learn to understand and appreciate. Thus as we accept who we are, we understand more and appreciate femininity more. I have grown to love it, in myself and all women, especially my wife. I personally therefore do not think we change fundamentally, we grow to appreciate and love.
I do not understand everything or possibly anything, but as very analytical on that spectrum, I have to try.
Hanlie.
I've always prefered women friends to male friends. I just seem to "fit" in better with females. I always end up in the kitchen talking with all the women in the group instead of hanging out with the men. Since becoming more involved in dressing and going out as a woman I don't think things have changed much. I have more knowledge of style and fashion so can talk better on those subjects. As to sexual attraction to females, that also hasn't really changed. What has changed is where I fit in. I've always been a sensual creature. I'm much more interested in the touching and kissing then the release at the end. Now, in my mind, I am thinking of myself as another female when I am with my wife. It has probably helped me be in tune with my wife better. And don't misunderstand, my wife is not attracted to Sally at all and won't kiss or touch until all signs of Sally are removed. So at least to an external observer, my sexual attraction to women has not changed.
As far as fantasizing about men, that has increased as my presentation has gotten better and I spend more time as Sally. With me it seems to be strictly a sexual fantasy when I am in male mode and really doesn't involve Sally, as paradoxical as that sounds.
Last edited by Sally24; 09-02-2013 at 06:21 AM.
Sally
Yes, this is indeed a paradox. My SO told me the same thing once. I don't get it. I don't feel threatened by this, a fantasy is a fantasy. Thanks for sharing!
Reine
I just adore women a great deal. I find them so interesting ! I certainly look at them different then I used to. I look at how they move, act, dress, interact, etc.
I still look at women just like a stereotypical construction worker you'd see on the tele. However in dress I do fantasize about men but... Well maybe this might be TMI here, but I watch pornography occasionally and while as a guy I watch the woman. While in drag I only occasionally fantasize about being the woman.
As far as how I see women, they are beautiful. Men are well.. Guys and stuff. I watch the misses undress and love it. Hope this gives a Lil insight about me and answers your question.
Last edited by Starshine24; 11-05-2013 at 11:18 AM. Reason: because i cant spell anything right the first time.
~Elizabeth <3
My Cding has not and does not in any way effect my physical attraction to women. I suppose though that I have always looked at them somewhat different than the non cd male. I probably have always noticed more, observed closer. Now that I have begun the journey of accepting myself as a Cder, I notice more about styles than I used to. Since I now have a better understanding of what it is like to wear skirts dresses, heels, I notice certain things about articles of clothing I haven't noticed before. or I pay even closer attention than before, which was already likely closer than the non cd guy. I pay close attention to what my wife wears, and am more likely to compliment her when I see her wearing something I think truly does well for her. It is probably a giveaway a bit, but sometimes I have caught myself complimenting other women on their choice of earings etc etc.... not sure how many guys do that. I try to remind myself not to but sometimes I just blurt it out.
Chickens should be allowed to cross the road without having their motives questioned
Hey Reine, I figured out your motivation for asking the question before you revealed it. I can see how anyone might logically make that observation. I'm certainly not offended by it either, and funny thing is I've wondered if my wife has ever wondered the same thing. You answered that for me
My wife recently told me I'm the same male pig she married all those years ago. Blondes with boobs and butt will snap my neck every time. Only difference is now I notice they also wear shoes. Sometimes really cute ones.
Never cared for guys. I care so much for girls I want to dress like them. Strange, huh?
In my case, I don't think my attitude has changed much. I've always been more concerned about beauty in harmony. I'm not one of those guys who'll turn his head just because I saw a "big pair of boobs" or a "nice huge firm ass". Overall beauty, harmony and balance has always caught my attention.
But, now that I've opened up myself a little more to my cd'ing, I do consider women's clothing in general as another variable in the harmony factor. I actually relate to Gendermutt in what she says about complimenting girls on small details any man wouldn't do... but in my case I think it's always been that way, all under the "harmony" umbrella.
I do have two trains of thought though... one which sees a woman from a male point of view, and another one from a female point of view (probably learnt from my gf), in which I say to myself "ohhhh that b*tch! How I'd love to have her figure/dress/hair/eyes/whatever", all in a light hearted tone of course haha.
Reine, first of all I wanted to say great question -- I think your instincts are onto something real here. As a bi-sexual CD I can honestly say that the more I embraced my Cding -- with elaborate wigs and outfits, and intimate encounters with other men -- my perception of females definitely changed.
For me, what has changed is perhaps the type of women I find attractive. I used to always gravitate towards the ultra skinny girl wearing yoga pants in Starbucks or on campus. Now, I almost roll my eyes at those types. I have enlarged my appreciation for the female form in general. Most plus-sized women are more curvy, and I can honestly say that I have enjoyed getting turned on by all types of sizes and shapes.
That being said, I am bi-sexual, and cross-dressing has allowed me to accept and embrace that part of me more fully. But, if you have spent time on this forum, you obviously know that gay and bi-sexual cross-dressers are a minority of the members here.
Perhaps your question would more skillfully be expressed as a question about "what type of cross-dresser" you may be in a relationship with? There is a very real chance that they could be a repressed bi-sexual or gay man working through their identity.
But that certainly doesn't alter the fact that (statistically) the majority of CDs are heterosexuals. However, as a bi-sexual CD my perception of females has certainly changed in many ways. For example, the majority of "hot babes" that a typical heterosexual male finds "hot", I really do not. I prefer un-shaved women who wear knickers from the 1950's. The trend toward "shaving" everything and silicone implants is not appealing to me. A women wearing yoga pants to a grocery store? Really? Not appealing.
So yes, some of the shine and charms wear off...but other feminine qualities can take on a whole new potent and intense meaning...
Last edited by Taylor Ray; 11-06-2013 at 12:36 AM.
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