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Thread: dealing with guys

  1. #1
    Aspiring Member tiffanynjcd24's Avatar
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    dealing with guys

    Hi yesterday i know that i said i thought about dating guys while dressing en femme. Truth is i just wondering and should ask this question what is like for a crossdresser to date a guy like what is there to expect before actually get into a relationship with a guy. Would guys try to use and exploit crossdressers for sex and everything else? Would guys treat crossdressers as a sexual object instead of treating them with respect? Because i hate the fact i would date a guy who just want me for sexual reason and not loving me for who i am or respect me. Lately i been dealing with guys on here who are very horny and wouldnt take the time actually get to know me as a human being. BTW I still like girls and mtf transgenders and crossdressers because of their beauty and personality but more importantly i would marry a transgender woman someday. Right now i am thinking about dating again mostly dating another crossdresser a mtf trans or a woman

  2. #2
    Member SophieKitty's Avatar
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    Genetic Females have this problem too, I'm afraid you just have to realise if a guy is sexploiting you or not. It's always best to not have sex with a guy until he's proved that he loves you
    Last edited by Tamara Croft; 08-21-2013 at 05:55 AM. Reason: quote removed, read the rules please

  3. #3
    Aspiring Member tiffanynjcd24's Avatar
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    trust me i would never let a guy have sex with i dont care if he has big muscles

  4. #4
    Junior Member laurie01's Avatar
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    Dating a guy would be an exciting but awkward experience if that's what you are into. Most men do get turned on when they see someone of the opposite sex even if its a male that is passable as a female. Its just how men generally are. MTF transgendered are less horny at times because of the hormones they take.

  5. #5
    Aspiring Member tiffanynjcd24's Avatar
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    right i understand its just i have these wonders and most guys would want me to be on hormones

  6. #6
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    I'm currently in a civil partnership. I told my husband about my crossdressing the night we first met. However it's never been something that has dominated our relationship, and certainly isn't something that defines our relationship. We are two men, one of whom (me) likes to explore his feminine side on an "irregular" basis. We first met as men, dated as men, and only occasionally has my cding played any part in our sex life.

    It seems you would like to have a relationship with you presenting yourself as enfemme. In that respect, you are most probably limiting the kind of guy who you can attract. The majority of gay men, just as the majority of straight women, are attracted to men who look like men, not a man who identifies themselves, and presents themselves as female. But clearly there are many men out there who are attracted to "trans" people. I personally have never dated a man who is specifically attracted to cds however, so I don't really know too much about them, and what they would like from a relationship. I suspect that it is as wide-ranging as any other type of relationship can be. Some may only be interested in sex, and not dating per se, some may not be interested in being seen out in public with you, some may feel proud to be with you. As with any relationship, the "trick" is finding someone who wants the same thing out of the relationship as you do.

  7. #7
    Aspiring Member tiffanynjcd24's Avatar
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    I understand but i am actually expanding the dating horizon and most guys would want me to transitioning into a woman because the fact is that i am younger and cute. But what i do want is love, honestly and respect that is with anyone and thats all i care about

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    It's good that you know what you want. I would like to ask, what is it about dating a man that you find appealing? Is it based on an attraction to men, or perhaps also based on the idea that being with a man will make you feel more feminine?

    Do you think men who are attracted to cds would want you to transition into a woman, or to remain "pre-op"?

    To answer your questions in your OP, I would say that yes, there will be men who just want to use you, just as there will be men who just want to use women. There will be men who are only interested in sex, and not interesting in forming (or committing) to a relationship with you. But there will be men who will treat you with respect, want you for who you are, and not what they want you to be. As with any potential relationship, the only way to find out is to get out there, meet men, but make it clear from the start what it is that you are looking for. Perhaps an online dating site, whereby you can list what it is you want, what you don't want, could work for you. Just be careful though - there will be any number of men who will lie to you, tell you what you want to hear.

  9. #9
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    Guys are a piece of cake to deal with even if they generally do want only one thing. A real woman knows how to handle her man though.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  10. #10
    love to hear from u missynicole's Avatar
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    like anything i believe there are good ones and bad ones. i know one who treats me like a queen......ohhhh how i love that.....

  11. #11
    Senior Member Amanda M's Avatar
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    Would guys treat you as a sexual object or with respect? You are a man, you have hung around guys growing up? The answer is - it all depends on the guy, but I rather suspect for the majority, you would just be a sexual object. Like any other woman.
    If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got!

  12. #12
    Aspiring Member tiffanynjcd24's Avatar
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    I dont have many guy friends

  13. #13
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    If you are looking for more than just sex, you would probably be better off pursuing a relationship with another M2F (there are certainly lonely M2Fs out there.)

  14. #14
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cd23 View Post
    I understand but i am actually expanding the dating horizon and most guys would want me to transitioning into a woman because the fact is that i am younger and cute. But what i do want is love, honestly and respect that is with anyone and thats all i care about
    I don't think that most would want you to transition, cd23. Based on what I've read from personal experiences here and elsewhere on the web, admirers usually walk away after a transwoman has had SRS. Admirers prefer crossdressers or pre-ops because of the one body part they have that GGs don't have. And my impression, confirmed by real life experience and several people in this thread, is that it's mostly about sex for most of them.
    Reine

  15. #15
    Gold Member Kaitlyn Michele's Avatar
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    There are always exceptions, but...

    The guys you will meet now will not want you to transition. Oh they will say they want it.....but they don't
    Guys that like cd's are all about one thing...
    and it dangles between your legs

    don't get me wrong ..its totally cool with me and I don't think its fair actually to say tranny chasers are creeps..they are out there expressing their own sexuality and for their own thrill and they are pretty transparent about it..

    lots of them will treat you like a lady but in the bedroom they will focus on your male parts...

    this works out great for gay cd's, but if you really want to be treated like a woman its not so hot when it gets down to business..

    Also many guys enjoy cd's because (for obvious reasons) the whole persona can be better kept up with bj's instead of any other kind of sex
    ...guys that like cd's know this....

    all generalizations, but I wouldn't bet against them

  16. #16
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    I think the fact that you ask the question implies that you know the answer.

    But here's a suggestion. Why not worry second about whether someone is mtf or ftm or whatever and go with what you're attracted to

  17. #17
    Aspiring Member Sabrina133's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenni_xx View Post
    It's good that you know what you want. I would like to ask, what is it about dating a man that you find appealing? Is it based on an attraction to men, or perhaps also based on the idea that being with a man will make you feel more feminine?

    Do you think men who are attracted to cds would want you to transition into a woman, or to remain "pre-op"?

    To answer your questions in your OP, I would say that yes, there will be men who just want to use you, just as there will be men who just want to use women. There will be men who are only interested in sex, and not interesting in forming (or committing) to a relationship with you. But there will be men who will treat you with respect, want you for who you are, and not what they want you to be. As with any potential relationship, the only way to find out is to get out there, meet men, but make it clear from the start what it is that you are looking for. Perhaps an online dating site, whereby you can list what it is you want, what you don't want, could work for you. Just be careful though - there will be any number of men who will lie to you, tell you what you want to hear.
    here here hon, great questions and great recommendation. spot on.

  18. #18
    Silver Member Barbara Dugan's Avatar
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    If you have already dated women it wont be easy that you will be used or exploited while dating guys on fem mode...If you have never done it just follow jenni and Kaiytlin advice they are right on target.
    let me tell you that transgender gals can also use and abuse admirers too.
    Last edited by Barbara Dugan; 08-21-2013 at 10:23 PM.

  19. #19
    trans punk Badtranny's Avatar
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    Kaitlyn is correct. Dudes that like CD's or pre-ops are definitely into your dangler. Most of them will be closeted about what they like so that means no public dates. They would prefer to meet you for sex and catch ya later, but many of them will show a bit of patience if they think it'll pay off. Some are nice guys, some are total d-bags.

    They're all looking for the unicorn, which is that rare creature who is tiny and passes without question, yet retains an enormous boner. If you're young and pretty enough that their friends won't read you, then you may have a shot at an almost normal dating life.

    If you're 'almost' passable like me, then it gets a little trickier. Pretty much all of my experience since transition has been with guys who don't want to be seen with me in public so dating and relationships are not exactly my area of expertise. However that is slowly beginning to change so I may be broadening my horizons in the next few months. ;-)
    Quote Originally Posted by STACY B
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  20. #20
    Aspiring Member tiffanynjcd24's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vickie_CDTV View Post
    If you are looking for more than just sex, you would probably be better off pursuing a relationship with another M2F (there are certainly lonely M2Fs out there.)
    I understand that the hard part is women and m2f rejected me I dont understand why

    Sometimes I think that being with a man would make me feel more feminine

    I tell myself that I am happy being myself and that I would never transition to be a woman. I just felt that it wouldnt be easier for me to be in a relationship
    Last edited by Shelly Preston; 08-22-2013 at 07:38 AM. Reason: Merged- please use the edit button

  21. #21
    Silver Member Rogina B's Avatar
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    What some of us are trying to say is simply this..You are "looking for love in all the wrong places"...getting laid is one thing,a real lovey dovey relationship is quite another!!! Oh,and most "admirers" want your penis to work really well,so HRT would "curb their enthusiasm"...Unless you were Brazilian,with a foot long,fully functional one..lol If they won't be seen in public with you at their side,then they aren't comfortable with their sexuality..
    It SURE is my hair ! I have the receipt and the box it came in !

  22. #22
    Aspiring Member tiffanynjcd24's Avatar
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    I understand where you coming from hun its true also even though that I am happy with who I am I am yet still come out of closet

  23. #23
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    I have spoken to you before in another thread about this and the respondents are giving sound advice.
    Decide what you really want and then make a decision.
    An experiment in this area is not like trying on makeup.
    That you can wash off.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  24. #24
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    CD23, in your mind you are probably imagining Prince Charming who knows how to make love. Yeah to be dating a fine looking gent who knows how to treat a lady is a nice fantasy but the reality is a little less bright.

    Quote Originally Posted by Badtranny View Post
    They're all looking for the unicorn, which is that rare creature who is tiny and passes without question, yet retains an enormous boner. If you're young and pretty enough that their friends won't read you, then you may have a shot at an almost normal dating life.
    Men think they are gonna date the "ideal" no matter what gender they seek.
    Guys may want that but they fail to realize they better be ready to hand over big dollars for a session with that.
    It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    Admirers prefer crossdressers or pre-ops because of the one body part they have that GGs don't have. And my impression, confirmed by real life experience and several people in this thread, is that it's mostly about sex for most of them.
    Believe it or not Reine, I totally agree. 99% of it, is just the erotic sex that they want. A man portraying a woman. How more erotic can it get. They get the best of both worlds. They don't want relationships or love or anything like that, that's what their wife or girlfriend is for, but they can't provide "the extension" they seek.

    Quote Originally Posted by BARBARA_MELENDEZ View Post
    .
    let me tell you that transgender gals can also use and abuse admirers too.
    I agree, CD's also have fantasies and they most definitely will use and abuse just as they get used and abused. Erotic Sex is very Lustful. Human nature.

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