Less of a need to CD?

[Darla]

Okay girls -

I just got off a beautiful vacation with my wife and kids and assorted family and friends. Apart from the standard dramas and such I was able to relax and take deep breaths, sleep and eat a lot, exercise some and basically live my life like I'd really want it to be if I didn't have to work. So back to the stressful job and life, bills, pressures and such.

So here's the thing. While I was away I didn't think nearly about dressing or my gender identity, or as to what was up with me. I wasn't checking this forum as there was too much family time to attend to, and I got a lot of love from my kids. Idyllic, right? A relief from anxiety that I deal with pretty much on a daily basis.

So here's my question; is the CDing and questions I have arise from some coping mechanism for the daily struggles of life? Am I a "real" CD? Or does this point to me overloading on the impossibility/possibility of being TS? I know for some it's a life threatening struggle but for the last two weeks it wasn't quite as much. I know I can't live life like this most of the time, but what if? Would I still feel the same? Would the need to be "me" as in the female me decrease and I'd realize it was all a thing I'd invented to give me the ups and downs I need to feel something in this life? Is it not a gender thing but a me thing?

I remember having feelings about "giving up" crossdressing, and when I really examined my soul I placed its importance so high and so very precious to me that I really couldn't. I still feel that way, but it's become clearer that its not just dressing obviously - it's a part of who I am.

So how does a part of me get put on hold because there was alternately ao many other joys? Does this happen to any of you other girls?

Thanks
Darla

[Beverley Sims]

Quite often if you have other interests on holiday dressing can take a little hiatus for a while.
The need seems to wane for a while.
When life gets boring, back it comes.

[Kate Simmons]

I used to feel a lot of pressure from society in general and especially my religion to fulfill the roles of husband and father. I felt it was an impossible task that no one could fulfill, so I utilized CDing to help cope. Of course this was done unconsciously and only years later did I realize what the coping mechanism was. Basically I had to be a "woman" in order to be a man. I know, doesn't make a lot on sense does it? Later on when I more or less "lived" being a woman 24/7 for a time, I got in touch with all of my feelings and took ownership of them. This allowed me to make the dressing a choice rather than a compulsion. This is the only way I have found to "beat" it. Since it's a choice I can be who I want, when I want clothing notwithstanding. Like yourself, I always did enjoy going on vacation with my family as a husband and father. Sometimes we need times like this to keep things in perspective.

[robindee36]

Darla, if the need to CD fades but reemerges after awhile, it would seem quite the normal ebb and flow many of us experience. I believe it is during these ebb times that many girls purge, feeling they no longer want/need to dress. Perhaps some never return, but a lot of us do. Don't loose any sleep over this, just accept it as part of living a dual existence.

Hugs, Robin

[linda allen]

Darla, I can't answer your questions about your need to dress. You and I are different and face different circumstances.

I will say this, and it might help you to understand your needs and wants; If I have something else that I need or want to do and it is not compatible with dressing, the dressing goes by the wayside. I might think about it as I drift off to sleep at night, but I don't sit around at the beach (for instance) wishing I was home so I could be dressed as Linda. I've done this for as long as a month. I might log on here to see what's going on if I get the chance, but the desire shifts to the background until I'm back home.

You are going to have to figure this out for yourself if it bothers you. Otherwise, enjoy whayever life brings you and don't worry about it.

[Kimberlyfaye]

My opinion is based on recent events. I met someone who wasn't in to the dressing and I felt I didn't need to dress anymore to be with them. I was happy being male for a while. The dressing took a back seat because I felt it had just been a distraction. I'm still not sure if I will be going back to it but I will take it as it comes. Personally I was happy to give up but that was at the time and things can change. So now I will live my life a little more in the moment. Hope my opinion is of use :-)

[audreyinalbany]

it's funny how we worry about dressing and then worry about not dressing whenever the urge leaves us temporarily. I find it happens all the time; I'll just get interested in other things. Cross dressing is just one of the things I do.

[Karren H]

I'm sure that finding something else to do or having a different life style that still takes you to a happy place can work for anyone..... as long as your flexible and maintain the right attitude.... I don't have any preconceived ideas that this is how my life was supposed to be.... if it all changed tommorow and I was still happy they that's fine with me.....

[Laura912]

Like many things in life, other interests attract one's attention which leads away from the other stuff. Even as much as I like woodworking, it is nice to get away from it on occasion. Must admit that my mind does keep in touch with the dressing.

[Lynn Marie]

On vacation, you were living wife and family 24/7. When you return to work, wife and family recedes in importance as each of you return to other interests. True "family" time may only be dinner together if that! We all have "other" interests, hobbies, etc. A good vacation is an idyllic experience, normal life is usually far from idyllic to say the least.

[Darla]

Thanks everyone. I never know where or how to emphasize things, sometimes I'll post things in the CD section when it feels like it should go in the TS section, and sometimes vice versa. This might be the case here but I'll lay odds I might be sent packing from the TS section. I definitely felt more need to dress now that I'm back, but I guess I'm also talking about the need to be me - ie, the female me. So on vacation I didn't feel the need to dress and be female (a shade paler than just dressing, we're veering into gender identity territory here) and that's what's got me all twisted about. Dressing up? I can handle that. Not wanting to be a man? The lack of that sentiment is what has me freaked.

Darn this stuff is hard. How do you truly know your heart? Maybe I should post this in the TS section.

Thanks
Darla