My guy side has had a Match.com account for a few months and I've had mixed results. Last night I had this idea of opening an account for Tina just to experience Match.com from a "woman's" perspective and see what kind of responses I might get.
Now I have absolutely no intention of starting a conversation and leading guys on. My thought is to immediately say thanks for your interest, but we're just not a match.
Any thoughts?
I would have to wonder how many other accounts are bogus? I'm sure yours wouldn't be the first. People sometimes aren't what they seem to be on the Internet.
[SIGPIC]http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=82706&dateline=137762 0356[/SIGPIC]Linda
No harm in setting yourself up a profile "for Tina", especially so considering your intentions (not to lead anyone on, be polite in your rejections should any interest come your way). And it could be useful for you in terms of finding out what guys do write about in the messages that they send to women (a great filtering process of what and what not to do yourself.
I say go for it.
I guess that's okay if you don't mind spending money on an account that will yield no results. Last I had been on there in 2003, there was a monthly fee.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
It could give you some insight in to how you are received as a woman
it might even be a way to tell a woman that you do get serious with about your "other half"
I have to join in with this because I can give you some advice. I had dual accounts on a site once. As an experiment to see what interest I would get. I got chatting to a few guys and it went ok. You will get messages of all sorts though. some "hey baby, let's chat" or "ur hot fancy sum fun" But it does depend on how you set up your profile. But the problem you may find is that, and this is especially problematic with men, is the fact men always feel things will go somewhere if a woman shows him even the smallest interest. I know from experience not only online, but with my ex too.
Now, due to the suggestion by my therapist, I have set up a new account which states I am male. The gender is set to male and what I am looking for is set to female. He told me to set up the profile like this so that any woman I chat to knows upfront about what I am. And now I am seeing real results because all the women I have met are accepting of it because they already know. From experience I believe this is the best way to go if you are looking for a partner.
Of course it is completely up to you but personally I would be careful setting up a female profile because although it might not happen, you are sort of lying and you may upset some guys should they find out.
Hope this helps you out :-) x
I've always been the kind of girl that hid my face, so afraid to tell the world, what I've got to say. But I have this dream bright inside of me. No more hiding who I wanna be. This is me.
I joined okcupid in as a guy looking for a girl. One of my matches was a girl looking for a guy into crossdressing but he had to be skinny. Boo.
Why?
Disingenuous - yes. Wasting someone else's time - yes. Leading someone on - yes. Maybe hurting someone - yes. To what end?
It reminds me of the crossdresser that wants to go out just for validation.
Hi,
I have been on a few site's still on three, on my account it says who i am just like here or any of the other forums im on , and quite a lot.
i dont have any issues because people know who i am and what i am as a person. i think some males are inclined to not read my profile because i have had emails from a few, who are / were interested in a friendship view to marriage ,so they get a nice email back that they would be disapointed in myself, i could not fullfill a males needs, even though im a female, .
one needs to be up front with people be honist its okay dressing just dont try & fool others because you will get caught out,.
...noeleena...
I would advise against it. I'm sure Match.com includes many people who misrepresent themselves in a variety of ways.
You can bet that a femme presentation will get lots more attention, but other than satisfying your curiosity, what is the point?
Hi Tina, Be careful what you wish for you never know where it might lead.
Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......
I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !
If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.
Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!
Hi Tina! It could be fun....
But....
I met my wonderful wife of 1 1/2 years on Match, and I'd like to think Match is built on honesty and therefore honest input...
For me it was a serious life changing process/site, and I would have not appreciated knowing that the one on the other end was just playing with me.
That's my two cents.
Hugs Jules
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Julie Anderson
"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
I say go ahead and do it. I met most wonderful woman (not the comic book one this one is real!) on Eharmony. I'll be honest though before I signed up to Eharmony which costed good sum of money I went on the free ones such as match.com and POF with few "bogus" profiles to see what worked and didn't work. Just basically learning the in's and out's of online dating. There is no harm in what your doing imho. Personally though I wouldn't respond at all to the messages. Match.com to read actual messages/send messages you have to pay. The members are just going to assume your profile is not a paid profile since you can set profile up for free.
Gotta agree with "heatherdress". And with others who urge you to find a way to do it honestly. I have to admit that I'm open to criticism on this, by my own standards, because I often engage in cybersex online with guys who think I'm a real woman. But that's not an environment where real people are seeking real relationships. It's just a quick and uncomplicated sexual experience. The guys I play with get the orgasm they wanted. But the guys who might find "Tina" interesting will be hoping to find a real woman, and will be trusting you to be honest with them. Even if you cut off every potential relationship early on, the other person's feelings will already have become involved, and the very fact that you inexplicably cut them off might well be hurtful.Originally Posted by heatherdress
Playing games with other peoples minds and emotions online or anywhere else is never right!
I'll join the chorus, this is a bad idea.
How would you feel if you initiated an online connection, only to find the other person was lying or at best just using you as an experiment? Treat others as you wish to be treated.
Last edited by Sheren Kelly; 09-02-2013 at 10:26 AM.
Warmly,
Sheren Kelly
Your idea sure sounded fun at first but after reading all the replies I have to side with the girls who are against it. I hate being deceived and conversely deceiving others. It hurts to be "had" or lied to.
Lynn Marie
Click here to see me on Flickr
BAD IDEA for many reasons on many levels. I have actually SEEN the mailboxes of a few ladies I have met on various Dating sites. They wanted to show me firsthand what they go through/put up with. NOT pretty, believe me. Why make an already bad situation worse?
And Match DOES conjure at least some profiles from thin air.
Why not generate the site you really want (it seems): Name: Tina. Gender male. Looking for: female. Then in the description explain that you live in both genders and are looking for a woman who is interested in a relationship with a guy and in having a girlfriend at the same time.
Direct, honest, and maybe successful in the ways you'd love it to be.
I don't think any feelings will be hurt because men who use dating sites tend to message a lot of women. They are used to rejection, even if someone talks to them a few times then cuts ties.
Does someone REALLY still think online dating is like this scenario? Someone browses profiles, finds a promising match, sends message, gets message back, talks for a bit, meets real life, and then...?
Online dating is a waste of time in any case. At one point, it may have worked for some but these days it is full of creepy men, men pretending to be women (even if they are not TG at all), scam artists, prostitutes, idle profiles...
The genuine good men on those are far and few between (if any). A lot of the actual women on there are just "seeing what kind of attention they can get". They have no intention of going on an actual date with someone in person, no, they prefer to read thru the love letters while eating their anti-depression pills and waiting for the SSI checks.
Basically yeah you can set up a female profile but the feedback you get will say little about how you are taken as a woman. Men see a photo that even somewhat resembles a woman and they do not even read the profile, they just add her to their mass mailing list for the day and send them all a quick "Hey baby what's up?"
So the men on dating sites, how then do they see women? They see a life support system for a vagina.
It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.
I think it is important keep in mind what the OP said "Now I have absolutely no intention of starting a conversation and leading guys on. My thought is to immediately say thanks for your interest, but we're just not a match."
They aren't going to be leading no one on, nor are they going to having conversations. To me it's just information seeking. If one was to start emailing people back and forth pretending they are something they aren't... That is whole different ballgame than what OP is talking about. Leading someone on pretending someone your not is bad thing to for sure stay away from but don't think that is case here. Having done online dating thing before as I mentioned I got turned down few times and turned down a few. It's not a blow to the ego at all. Mostly on match when people have to pay to respond.
I believe Match is one of those sites that won't allow u to post pics of, "someone other than yourself". If u join as a man, I think they'll only accept pics of a man.
I tried that there awhile back and Sherry's photos were rejected.
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Do it on Craigslist instead, preferably in another city. And give up early in the conversation, perhaps spilling your beans. Most of the men on there aren't going to hook up that night anyway, and the ones that are, well, don't be the person they hold out for and then wind up not hooking up.
I did it in the Seattle craigslist and had a great time. One guy, after I told him what I was up to, got into a serious conversation about the results I was getting. He was flabbergasted to see that not only did he not have any style, but he actually stood out just because he returned messages.
Anyway, craigslist addresses the concerns some of these girls are throwing up: you're not wasting their time because you're not the only person they're talking to (or trying to talk to, anyway). There's a high likelihood they'd be wasting your time if you were serious about a hookup.
Now, as for actual dating, POF is always free, and because of that has some of the benefits that craigslist has (e.g. you're not wasting their time because you're not the only person they're talking to, and a lot of them are still basically looking for a hook up anyway), while still carrying some of the respect that Match.com generally carries (people there really are looking for relationships). As for the photograph thing, I have a feeling that if you do what Sherry did on POF instead of Match.com, you'll be able to keep the profile with the pics up. But it would be better to put the CD pics in the private area, and share those with someone before you go on a date. That's assuming you're looking for dates.
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