Results 1 to 11 of 11

Thread: My Update

  1. #1
    My Ship has sailed? Barbara Ella's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Central Illinois
    Posts
    5,709

    My Update

    I had made the decision to keep my transexual nature from my wife. We have been on this ride together for less than two years, and she completely freaked out with just the concept of a cross dresser. Even one year ago she would not consider transgender, much less acknowledge transexual. My judgement at the time was that with time, she would become more aware and accepting. Thus, i began my slow inexorably slow journey of HRT around last November, in silence. First she decided she wanted to discuss things, that was positive. Last month she allowed that if I was female she understood, and would not leave (a previous condition), but could not see me dressed.

    Last week we had another talk after I had a particularly hard day, because of something really trivial, except for our situation. I needed a new nightshirt. My male nightshirt was in shreds. I went on the interned and looked for them, but as I sat there, I became very scared...There was no way i was going to wear a male nightshirt ever again. I was going to violate one of our agreements, it might hurt her, but I must do it. So I beat myself up for a day.

    When she came home, she saw my condition, and we had a talk about it. I related to her that as a man i never wear shorts because of my birth defect, but i would have no qualm about going out right now in a skirt (at or above the knee no less), and broke down. After some time and discourse she stated that she knows i am a woman, and she can now accept that, and has no negative feelings. She agreed that a therapist should be started. She went further and said that if HRT would help alleviate the GD feelings and the beating up on myself, that I should start them as soon as possible, and I should attend local support group meetings. Further she was now willing to have me dress in jeans/slacks, blouse, and flats. She will work up to makeup, wigs, skirts etc over time. i did go out and buy a nice Vera Wang nightgown.

    She allowed that if I have the need to go 24/7 we will sell the house and move to a new town, and start over from day one there with our new life, but never in our hometown.

    She did notice my breasts (38B), which I feel is exceptional for a 67 year old. We marked them off to my low testosterone, and prostate problems and medications.

    I know i always talk about honesty, and many here do not approve of doing it this way. I can only hope and pray that in a short time we will both be on the same page and moving forward together. Where we are going, I don't know, and we are both on a journey, but we are together at last. I am at least hopeful it will last because we have both said neither of us is going away.

    Your support and friendship has meant a great deal to me as i begin to become the woman i know i am inside.

    Barbara
    He (she) who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance.
    - Friedrich Nietzche -
    I may never get to fly like the other girls, but I do so want to dance, so I continue to climb.

  2. #2
    Diamond Member Persephone's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    On the road in an RV, homebase Texas
    Posts
    6,751
    It sounds like you and your wife have a super relationship, Barbara. May your journey continue from strength to strength.

    Hugs,
    Persephone.
    "If you are living the life you want to live you've successfully transitioned to being the person you want to be." - Eryn.

    "If you truly care about me you should damn well want for me what I want for myself" - Michael Westen (Burn Notice)

    -.-. --.-/-.-. --.-/-.-. -../ Persephone™ and Persephone™ are trademarks of Persephone herself, accept no substitutes. The terms "en femme" and "en drab" originated with Marcia Sampson/Staylace (OBM).

  3. #3
    Silver Member paulaprimo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    new york
    Posts
    3,218
    nobody understands your situation better than you. i think the majority of us are good people and try to be honest, but sometimes too much honesty
    all at once can be very dangerous, especially to your relationship. i can agree that small doses at a time can make things go smoother for you.
    so it now sounds like you and your wife are finally on the same page.
    you have a wonderful and supportive wife now, and i wish you continued success!
    paula

  4. #4
    Resist
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    660
    You lucky b**ch!

    JK. :-) I'm very happy for you Barbara.

    Things will likely get tough on your journey. Above all, remember to be true to yourself.

    Sincerely,
    Simone

  5. #5
    Untitled
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Somewhere near the "Umber" but not "Ull"
    Posts
    7,061
    Yours is just one example of good coming from bad. I will not comment on the pros and cons of tell or don't tell, but at least your SO has accepted that you are a woman and is willing to work with you to achieve that goal. There is still a long way to go but you have taken the right direction and as long as you both are honest and open there should be no reason why the changes that have taken place cannot be improved upon for both of you
    Listen carefully to what is said, quite often you can hear what is not being said

    The joy of correcting a mistake can bring pain to another

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member JustWendy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    696
    Barbara – two years ago you joined this forum not quite knowing where you were on the spectrum, but knowing you were experiencing a rekindled interest in female clothing and happy to find a place where you could find support during your journey. It must be confusing even to you sometimes with how quickly the clarity of who you are has shown itself. It’s obvious that you love your wife, I think you’ve tried to be as honest with her about your feeling as you’ve grown to understand those feelings yourself. You have a wonderful life partner and you’ve shared many happy years. I wish you many more.

    Wendy

  7. #7
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Standing In The Cornpatch
    Posts
    1,455
    Barbara, I hope now the waters have calmed you and your SO have smooth sailing. Good luck!

    Hugs,
    Leah
    Be nice; It don't cost nothing.

  8. #8
    Senior Member StephanieC's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Northern CA,US
    Posts
    1,071
    This is certainly good news Barbara. I pray this tiny spark grows into something that brings you the warmth you seek.

    btw...I think I understand your situation.

  9. #9
    Aspiring Member Janelle_C's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Northern California
    Posts
    547
    Barbara I'm so happy for you. I know how hard it is to now that being who you are can cost so much. It sounds like your wife loves you very much. I second your wife thought about you starting therapy it can be a really good tool. I wish the best for both of you. Janelle
    "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom" Anais Nin.

    Live, Laugh, and Love Yourself!

  10. #10
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    A bit south of the 49th!
    Posts
    23,676
    Barb, I'm glad that you're heading in a positive direction, in terms of your self expression and your relationship. I hope that therapy, in all forms, and communications with your wife will continue to ease the stresses of this journey for both of you.

  11. #11
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Here
    Posts
    34
    That's really great news, Barbara!

    I imagine this takes a pretty big weight off your shoulders.

    I'm very happy for you and wish you both the best in this new chapter of your journey.
    tammysmiles

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State