Dear girls

[SophieKitty]

Please LOVE yourself. A lot of girls here are so scared of what others will think, but you have to start with loving yourself. All of you, (especially the newbies like myself) are amazing people. It's lovely to see such a collection of fine human beings all in one place

Nervousness goes away once you start to love yourself and who you are on the inside. Be whoever you need to be, and love yourself that way, and don't care what anyone else thinks, unless it's fashion advice Remember everyone else isn't you, you are you, and you need to do what you need to do.

I know it sounds crazy but I personally care about everyone on this forum, and it's really sad when the other girls are sad. I just want to give them all a massive hug and have them over for tea, cake and biscuits.

PS: Loving yourself beyond the arrogant will help 10000000% with coming out to people, especially when you convey yourself as a relaxed and chilled human being.

PPS: I know this sounds arrogant as I've only told 15 people so far, but If any of the shy ones needs some tips on the best way come out just PM me and we can talk. Of course I can't give any advice about going out in public because I've not reached that stage myself, but I'm prepping for my first flight very soon! xD

[Tracii G]

I agree SK loving yourself and all parts of your being is what needs to take place.
I know some here really have problems with the concept and I feel really bad for those in that situation.I was like that at first so I do understand.
One day as I was doing Tai Chi on my deck it hit me why was I rejecting this side of me?Why was I not using what I learned from studying martial arts about harmony and balance?
I knew at that moment to just let go and let both sides of my personality be at peace with each other and coexist.It was a major revelation for me.
The same goes for your first time out,know in your mind that you CAN do it and put some faith in yourself.

[felicityefeminata]

your post was just what I needed to start my day. I am going to try and love myself and see if I can get past the shame and guilt I've surrounded my self with.
grazie tanto

[Sophie Yang]

Lovely post. Such wisdom. Coming from someone named Sophie, not surprising.

Know, Accept, and Love Yourself , KALY– These give one a sense of balance between the Yin and Yang resulting in ones inner calmness, serenity, and connectedness others and the world. The pressures of life try to upset this balance and disrupt ones inner calmness and serenity. KALY allows one to stand strong in the storms of life, bending with the winds when necessary, and straightening backup, undamaged, after the storm has passed. KALY – a source of inner strength that everyone has, yet rarely tap into. The more one knows, the more one grows.

Once you go you will not want to go back in.

[samanthasolo]

I think this is a very insighful thread with a lot of potential to help everyone along to get to where they want to be and also find a happy place for themselves in thier existence. We all understand that we did not ask to be who we are or know why we are the way we are and as far as understanding goes it might be something some of us never achieve. This is where acceptance of ourselves comes into the picture. Regardless of whether we are transitioning, passable or not, looking to come out or even keep things behind closed doors and closeted. It is evidence with this forum that we are NOT ALONE. There is more to US than what our gender is and how we identify and express who we are. Regardless of what society deems to be the norm should not keep all of us from being happy to be who we are and comfortable in our own skin. If we do not embrace and love ourselves for who we are how can we expect any other individual to accept and embrace who we are. So the words to live by in our lives should always be to LOVE OURSELVES, LOVE OTHERS, LIVE IN HAPPINESS, AND BE ACCEPTING OF ALL THAT LIFE HAS TO OFFER!

[Frédérique]

Please LOVE yourself. A lot of girls here are so scared of what others will think, but you have to start with loving yourself. I know it sounds crazy but I personally care about everyone on this forum, and it's really sad when the other girls are sad. I just want to give them all a massive hug and have them over for tea, cake and biscuits. Loving yourself beyond the arrogant will help 10000000% with coming out to people, especially when you convey yourself as a relaxed and chilled human being.

I would merely add that you also need to believe in yourself, but this stems from loving yourself, or vice versa. The day I stop believing in myself it’ll be ALL OVER…

Because I love myself, and, it follows, I wish to protect myself, I’m not all that concerned with coming out to people. I’ve done my share, each time rocking the foundations of my girly soul. Is this self-love? Is this self-respect? It’s not necessary to spread myself around to feel fulfilled in some way, since I already have my “self.” We love each other, and we’re all we need…

I’m plenty relaxed and chilled – see how long I’ve been here? Thanks for the hug, as well as the tea and biscuits, darling…

[SophieKitty]

Thank you for such positive replies, I just feel it's important to love who you are, because I thought the whole point in being different is because you feel better being different. Otherwise you wouldn't do it? So I strongly believe you should embrace whatever your gender orientation, and last time I counted there was around a million different individual orientations, all of them valid and all of them right, none of them wrong. People only get "screwed up" when they don't embrace who they are and feelings of self guilt, worry etc get built up and skew one's personality of who they are.

It's not really about staying secret, some people are indoor cats and find it thrilling and fun with people not knowing what goes on behind closed doors, and that's ok too So long as they love themselves no-matter who they are, and feel good about themselves.

The only time I go against this philosophy of loving and embracing doing what you love is if what you do hams other human beings or animals in a deliberate, non-consensual way such as someone who feels good beating ort raping their S.Os, family members or any person or animal. of course that shouldn't be embraced.

[Tiffanyselkoe]

I love your post. Sometimes a person can be their own worst critic. Embracing all parts of myself has been somewhat of a struggle but I like to think I am coming along. Thank you for brightening my day

[Carmen]

At the close of her show, Ru Paul always reminds us to love ourselves first...then we can love eveything else.
Well said Sophie.

[Beverley Sims]

I think it is more of an air of confidence.
Some arrogance may help for a time.

[Ally 2112]

Nice post Sophie it took me years to accept myself and stop purging .In the end i had to be good with what i do because it does not go away .It is better to love than hate !

[Lady Mandy]

What a wonderful post! - Thank you for such an uplifting & encouraging message Sophie! - Much appreciated here!

Mandy

[LasVegasXD]

Kind of needed that today Sophie. Thank you so much and here are some hugs from Vegas. If I was closer I would get on a dress and come over for tea. BTW I've heard the UK thinks we girls in the US do tea weird. Dunno saw it in Paul, thought it was funny.

[GeorgeA]

Hi Sophie,
Wonderful post. I agree this is a great place to be. Everyone is so nice and helpful. I have learned so much about human nature and varieties from reading the views expressed here.
Thanks for posting.

[GroovyChristy]

Hey Sophie, thanks for this post. I could always use hugs and tea, etc.

I agree with everything you said, but loving yourself is easier said than done. I'm working at it though.