When GG shop staff humiliate you?

[Allison Chaynes]

The only times I have had issues have been at discount stores, specifically Fred's and Big Lots, while checking out. And even then they weren't a huge deal to me. At a Big Lot's a few years ago, the SA held up the panties I was purchasing and said, "Panties huh?" I told her they were for my wife (one of them was) and she responded, "Yeah sure." I just left. Nowadays I'd make a scene but not then.

At a Fred's about two months ago, I was buying some stretch jeans and clearance panties. The SA asked me (while laughing), "Are these in your size?" I said, "Yes they are!" She laughed and told me to quit messing with her. For the first time ever, I was honest and tol her, "No really, they are." She just laughed like she didn't believe me. I went back about three weeks ago and bought more jeans from the same SA. No reaction this time, she was professional.

[Asche]

FWIW, it's not just CDs that get this sort of treatment. Women and girls who aren't considered thin enough (or otherwise fail to meet society's beauty standards) also get rude treatment sometimes.

I was just reading a thread on a (non-CDing) site where women, esp. teen-agers, were being rather rudely told by cashiers and salespeople "we aren't going to sell you anything" because they were more generously proportioned than the sales associates liked. A place called "Rue 21" was mentioned a lot, as was "Forever 21" (not sure I have the right number.) Words like "hippo" and "fatty" were mentioned.

[Vanessa5]

I won't say that I was humiliated as such but I have recieved some poor service. The places that give (and are willing to tolerate that behavior) poor service don't get my money anymore.

[vikki2020]

never have been humiliated either--- and that's a curved line anyway. I get the occasional--"thank you SIR", --and I just smile, and ask them if that made them feel better? Then, I tell them, not a "Sir" today, and walk away. If it was done in a spiteful manner, I will call somebody.

[Alaina Ann]

Been buying female clothing for 20 years. Both in store and online. I have never had a problem and have met some very nice helpful SA. Often times my wife and I are together and buy matching outfits including nighties and panties in different sizes. It has always been a great girls day out!!

[heathr1]

The up side is that the women who work in Boots give superb service when buying make-up.

[audreyinalbany]

years back I was in a kind of semi-kink boutique--lots of leather and vinyl club wear kind of place--I was checking out the heels and asked the sales associate (male) if I could try on a pair. Surprisingly, he was kind of taken aback and said, "well I guess it's okay unless a woman customer comes in." I mean, this wasn't really what you'd consider a mainstream kind of place and I'm guessing they had had their share of fetishists in the place. Anyway, guess what? The place is no longer in business....

[~Joanne~]

I have only had one bad experience shopping to date and it was at a CD friendly store. It was actually the owner (a TS) who made me feel uncomfortable but looking back, I may have not be ready yet to actually go into a store and try things on so ultimately it came down on me. I have been back since, fully enfemme, and also had one of the best experiences of my life that day.

I have never had a bad experience in a regular store yet. Now I mostly do my shopping with my SO so she is usually right there with me as we look but I do not use her as a crutch. I still go shopping here and there without her and, if anything, I am a bit more comfortable looking at clothes and not caring much what someone else may think.

Last night, I bought 5 blouses and a costume and the SA who rang me up never batted a eye or anything. Had she, I would had have a manager there on the spot because that is the kind of person I am.

[JoanneCross]

I have only had a couple of times that cashiers or salespeople tried to humiliate me. Most have been wonderful! I had an older lady at a second hand place say out loud "I don't think that slip will fit you" my reply was it did two minutes ago when I tried it on, she never commented on the rest of my purchase. The other one was a young teenager in a Kmart store I was buying stretch satin panties in my size and she commented on how pretty they were and how she would like to see them on me, (laughing out loud) I said really they are almost identical to the ones I was wearing, she too stopped laughing and said sorry to me.

[Lillyasia]

The people who like to put others down to make themselves look better are the ones with the biggest self esteem issues. That's why when we say yes that dress, panty, or bra is for me they don't have anymore backbone, especailly if we say it with confidence. Not argumentive, just confidence.

Furthermore, a reminder that it is not illegal for a man to buy a dress, panties, or bra, but what they are doing may be illegal or open them up to civil litigation. But by then a manager should be involved and you should certainly let corporate know. On the other hand, please be sure to let managers or corporate know when you have a positive encounter. Too often only complaints get registered and not enough compliments.

[SometimesJen]

I can only recall a few potentially humiliating situations when I've been shopping, all in drab. The most blatant was about three years ago.

I was looking at bras and panties in a local Wal-Mart. One of the SAs very pointedly told me "Those are for women, not men." I told her I was aware of that and was looking for my girlfriend (which I was). The SA snapped back "Well, you'll just need to bring her in. I can't help you find your size." I left, but as I was walking past the ladies fitting room I said in a louder than normal voice "It's nice to know men aren't welcome to shop for their lady here." Three women left their entire carts of clothes and walked out. I never saw that SA in the store again, nor was I treated that rudely.

Two years ago I had a different experience at a local Macy's when I paused to look at the pumps. An SA quickly appeared and asked if she could help me with anything. When I asked if she had the shoe in size 11 or 12 wide she shouted about two aisles over to another SA "Hey! This guy wants these pumps in 11 or 12 wide. Do we have 'em?" The second SA came to confirm the model number, and disappeared to check the back stock. She returned with two more SAs in tow, each carrying a pair of size 12 pumps. One of them asked me if I was shopping for myself or my wife. I answered that my church was contemporary and open minded, that I was helping with Sunday's sermon and would be presenting it dressed - the shoes were for me. I then asked to try on each of the pairs they had brought out. All four SAs paused, slack-jawed at my direct answer, then fell all over each other trying to find shoes that fit me. Unfortunately they didn't have any bug enough, but two of the SAs remembered me later and asked how the sermon went. One of them actually came to a service on gender presentation in spirituality a couple weeks later. Sometimes standing up and being forthright can have unintended, and even helpful results!

[rachel_rachel]

I walked into a store that was having a sale just wanting to have a look around.. The SA didn't bother to greet with a 'hello' rather a 'have you lost someone mate?'
I turned to her, asked excuse me? she repeated the question, I simply said no i'm right.. (I was in my work clothes, Hi vis shirt etc..) had a bit of a look, turned and walked out. She lost a sale, and that particular store.. lost a customer... I will not set foot back in there again.

[thechic]

Must be different hear in new Zealand, never had a issue with buying woman's clothing

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

I had an experience several years ago, but it was indirect yet it was a little embarassing. My wife and I went into a women's store at a mall. We stayed close together as we picked out a nice black skirt and a frilly white top for me. My wife made the purchase and as we were leaving, a young SA said loudly to another, "Some women buy women's clothes for their husbands. We see them all the time." We never went back, and they are out of business anyway. If SA's smartened up, they could make a lot more money for their store with us as customers. Good customer service equals better job security.

Cheryl

[BillieJoEllen]

Its happened a number of times. All situations have happened many years ago. First, I was browsing in our local JC Penney lingerie department. I was dressed. All of a sudden a cashier yelled out very loudly "Can I help you"? Everyone turned to look and I became very embarrassed. They could tell I was rally a man.

I bought a wig at our local K-Mart and didn't like it so I took it back. The clerk helping me said in a very loud voice "Whats the matter? Didn't it fit?" Once again everyone turned to look.

I was purchasing some very fem items at a Wal-Mart and chose the 'friendliest' looking line to buy them in. Saw one where the saleslady was very friendly to every one but when I got up there to pay she clammed up and had a very hateful look on her face. She looked very disgusted with me and threw my stuff in the bag and handed it to me very rudely.

And one other incidence that I remember well was in a Lane Bryant. I was shopping in there the week before and a SA approached me to see if I needed any help. We chit chatted a bit. I didn't buy anything.
I was back there the next week and found a dress that I was hoping was still there. I went to pay for it and wouldn't you know it the SA from the week before came walking buy and exclaimed, "Oh, I saw you looking at that dress last week. I hope you enjoy it!" I was standing in the longest line I was ever in at a Lane Bryant. Of course there were three other men and a lot of women standing in line with me. I could hear and see the snickering. She was loud enough for the whole store to hear.

[Mink]

i've only had very light humilating moments with the workers at stores...

the most common for awhile was "i don't think that's your color..." which always saddened me! why not say the opposite? oh that's def. your color! hehe!

i usually just kinda laugh and don't say much (that's just how i am)

or some light friendly response and usually they'd say something like "i'm sure she'll love it!" and no i don't think they knew it was for me... i think just light teasing like that can be kind of fun!

the most awkward i can think of was one time i was buying a few dresses (fancier ones) and the young lady asked "why so many dresses?" and i had nothing really to respond to that and probably just said "oh i don't know!" which was damn embarassing...

too bad i couldn't have been like "well i don't have that many and you guys just have so many cute ones!" ... ah well

[Courtney . J]

its hasnt happend to me yet but im sure it will someday ,. for the most part all of my girl shopping has gone fairly smooth , except for the last time i went shopping ,. i was at a store just wanting to buy some makeup and maybe some new nail polish ,. but i ended up finding a very cute pink blouse and some cute black leggings/ Pj's with a pink waist band which was only $10 for the set ,. i ended up getting that , some lipstick , eyeliner , foundation , and nail polish ,.. everything went ok and the cashier didnt blink an eye except when i got out to the car i noticed that she charged me twice for the eyeliner ,. doh ! so i had to go back in and correct the mistake ,. he response was " im sorry about that mistake ,. you know why i made that mistake right ? this is the first time ive seen a guy in here buying womens stuff ",. my reply was a modest "yeeaa " ,. then she says "well i think thats nice of you"


made feel pretty good ,. now i just need to work on my makeup skills ahahaha

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Heathr, Rule #1, Never let someone else take control of the situation.

[Amanda M]

"I kind of get the feeling that shopping for women's clothing and lingerie in drab is okay as long as you either know what you want or are being helped by a SA. It's the wandering around the store, touching and looking closely at things feminine that sort of looks perverted and may just scare women customers."

Sorry? You really mean I should not touch or look at things feminine that I might want to buy in case I scare the female customers?

On the other hand it's OK for women to wander around the mens' section and handle the goods?

Whatever happened to equality.....

[Miss Trudy]

As one that has been out since the early 80'sand has shopped en femme 100's of times from lingerie shops to the grocery stores I have never been humiliated by a sales clerk either GG or male. Granted I have been made to fee uncomfortable as many here have noted but humiliated, never! First I do have to agree with Kathi in that one can only get humiliated if one allows themselves to be put in that position. All you had to do was leave and go to another store, believe me there are lots of them that want our money. Stand up for yourself and be proud of who you are and show the world you are a real man under that skirt.

[Lorileah]

Sorry? You really mean I should not touch or look at things feminine that I might want to buy in case I scare the female customers?

On the other hand it's OK for women to wander around the mens' section and handle the goods?

Very few women examine the boxer shorts and tighty whities like some men do. I have never seen a woman hold up men's underwear and get that far away look. I have seen women get novelty boxers and hold them up and giggle but I don't think it is because they are imagining being tickled later.

I have never ever been insulted or humiliated by any SA. Just yesterday the clerk said "don't we have the BEST lingerie prices you ever saw? I could fill my closet with this stuff"

Addendum: Some of what I am reading here that members feel are insulting is really nothing. Calling out to another SA? Happens every day. Less so since they have walkie talkies now. Asking "loudly" if you need help? Do you want them to whisper? Just because you are scared and flitting around in a place you feel you should not be in this seems to be more than it is.

[Alice Torn]

It has never happened to me, because i only shop at thrift or charity stores, or Ebay.com. I have only a few times bought hose or bras or panties in a regular store.

[Joanne f]

Only once a SA tried to make something of it , as I was waiting to use the changing room she came up to me and asked if I was taking a top into the room for my wife , I replied " No" and she looked at me and said , "Oh like that is it " I just replied , " Yes" and she did not know what to say next so walked away , my wife was standing a little way behind me laughing at what had just happened .

[Ressie]

Some of what I am reading here that members feel are insulting is really nothing. Calling out to another SA? Happens every day. Less so since they have walkie talkies now. Asking "loudly" if you need help? Do you want them to whisper? Just because you are scared and flitting around in a place you feel you should not be in this seems to be more than it is.

True, in most cases no one is trying to embarrass anyone, but it's us CDs that tend to perceive it that way. Still, I'm sure that most snicker behind our backs.

[Mink]

now that i think about it there was one girl at a fredricks of hollywood that started laughing or giggling as soon as she saw me... asked if i needed help and i said No thanks! just looking...

and the whole time she just had this big grin and couldn't hold back from reacting to the whole situation! ... i bought something and even at the end she kinda laughed and said ENJOY!

and i could take that as really annoying or offensive but i took at as something kinda fun ... i didn't care! ... yet i was kind of embarassed but i don't know... maybe i have a different view but it IS a kind of fun amusing situation... a guy buying something ultra frilly and girly ... i think i had just shaved my head (for the first and LAST time ever!) so i probably looked pretty extreme!