Halloween question...

[AlexisRaeMoon]

OK, I need some opinions here:

For a closeted crossdresser, it's pretty easy to get away with dressing up once for Halloween, but I've always figured trying to do it again might start to arouse some suspicions.

But, is there a "statue of limitations?" That is, the first time I crossdressed for the annual Halloween party was 2008...has enough time passed that I might be able to do it again? I expect there might be a few wisecracks, and that I can handle.

Amusing aside: my wife and I were trying to come up with some costume ideas tonight, and she said (jokingly), "I'll go as Robin Thicke and you can go as Miley Cyrus!"

Oh, ha ha, funny!

[NathalieX66]

I honestly don't think you would have anything to worry about, especially if you made an effort in whatever direction you went in.

You would be surprised in how people actually think.

I'm an ex-Chicago resident myself, but for two years only. I love the town.

[AlexisRaeMoon]

This evening I was chatting with our friend who hosts that annual Halloween party (and who is a real stickler for people showing up in costume), grousing about how I didn't have any good ideas this year. We batted around a few ideas, mostly rock stars because that's what I do most often, but I've sort of run the gamut. So then she said, "you should do a female rock star - like Lady Gaga or Amy Winehouse. You've done drag before, right?" Oh yeah, what a fascinating idea!

I even posed the question that I did here (in retrospect, probably not a great move, since that looks more suspicious!), but I said, "I did that once before, don't you think people will start to think it's kind of weird?" She was like, "Not at all! People don't care..."

Since this is one of my wife's best friends, even if my wife balks, I can just fall back on her friend's endorsement! "It wasn't my idea! Really!"

I think my path is set...so which one? Amy or Gaga?

[AllyCDTV]

Gaga absolutely. It will give you a great range of costumes to choose from. Amy's been gone for a while and a lot of people might not get it or even be offended that you are going as a dead rocker.

[Amy R Lynn]

I would say go for it! I don't know if there is a statue of limitation per se', but enough time has certainly passed. Girl it up and enjoy it.

[Chickhe]

Great question, one I agonized over for many years...until I learned to not give a... but the answer is no problem (only if you make it one). Just do it. Don't feel the need to explain beyond ...its fun, I did it before and it was enjoyable, so why not? ...besides you all ready have the makeup!

...and my advice is based on doing it at least 1/2 dozen Halloweens in a row. People don't really care. If you have a great costume and you have a fun attitude they will embrace it.

I am talking about public parties and friends here, not at work. My view on work, you want to go as something boring and mundane as possible because you want people to remember you for your skill not your costume.

[Eryn]

It has been observed the Halloween is christmas for crossdressers! Dress as you wish and enjoy the evening!

Concerning the "statute of limitations," if you find a good costume why not stick with it and perfect it? Every year your costume will be that much better and people, if they remember, will look forward to seeing the improvement.

I do agree with Chickie about work. It's not the place to get too far off the wall.

[AmyGaleRT]

I think you'll be OK, Arianna. Dress as you please and enjoy yourself!

That reminded me...when I wear my witch costume to work for the costume contest in October, I'll still have to have my security badge on hand! I had thought that, since the dress has large bell sleeves, I might have to sew a little loop of cord inside one of the sleeves, right on the seam, that I could clip my badge-holder (one of those retractable ones) onto. As it turns out, no such sewing is necessary; I had forgotten the dress has a back tie, and, with it tied, I can clip my badge holder onto that, and it's easily accessible yet inconspicuous there (with my arm at my side, that big sleeve covers it). I'm pretty sure my GG coworkers go through this same trouble in deciding how to wear their own badges.

- Amy

[Jennifer Kelly]

I'm dressing up for Halloween this year as a goth chick. The last time I dressed up en femme for Halloween was 25 years ago when I was still in high school. So I think I'm good. I'm slowly putting together the pieces. I got a pair of knee boots w/ 3.75" heels off Ebay that should be here tomorrow. I can't wait.

If the last time you dressed was 2008, I think you're good not arousing too much suspicion.

[Cynthia Anne]

Go get'em and have some fun Arianna!! Miley ought to turn some heads for sure!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Christie Camelle]

I dressed as "myself" for Halloween last year. It was a blast and other than the expected sarcastic remarks and jokes it was the most fun I have had in years! I got hit on by men and women both! So yes, Amber will be on the loose again this Halloween! Go for it hun!

[LasVegasXD]

Hey Rudy Guilliani has done it multiple times, and no one really questions his masculinity. I guess it depends on how you present en homme. Are you the manly manly man that everyone got a kick out of seeing you dress up? If so do it again, and cite how THEY enjoyed it as part of your decision. Work is tricky. I'm in the same boat. I would love to go to work in my sandals and some cute shorts, but I work for a conservative newspaper that employs many fundamentalist Christians and social conservatives. You want to make money and be you. If anything, do it this year and see how it goes. If it goes well, then just keep doing it year after year. There's always the excuse that you are borrowing clothes so it is a cheap "costume."

On a personal note my ex wife had that attitude. One Halloween I wanted to dress up again, and she was against it. She claimed you do it anyways, so people will know you are just dressing as you (as if that should be a problem). Good luck and much love girl. Keep us posted. I want to use Halloween to get a nice French maid outfit for when I clean.

[Wildaboutheels]

I hope you realize that your coworkers already talk about you just as soon as you leave the room. No matter what your hobbies are or whether they know about them.

Which is more important. How they treat you or what they say about you?

Wear what you want. If they decide to TREAT you differently because of your costume choice for Halloween, they are obviously not very bright.

Are they? I have a feeling you are MORE worried about one of them "confronting" you about your choice. There are a # of responses you could make to put them in their proper place.

I'll GIVE you one easy excuse. I'm betting you 5 bucks you won't do it. And/or, consider it a dare.

[Druscilla Supernovae]

Once a year won't hurt anything. I dressed as a goth chick for Halloween last year. I think it was last year when I dressed as a woman for a celebration for Leslie who died. He was a famous CD who walked the streets of Austin, TX. I had everyone fooled. They thought I was a real woman.

[Beverley Sims]

Do it well and people will be impressed, they then look forward to see what you can do next year.
In the meantime you might come out any way.

[linda allen]

There's another Halloween costume thread going and I posted to it so I'll just paste my response to that thread here:

The danger of going to the party as a female is that you will do a good job and people will figure out that you do this more than once a year.

If you don't want them to suspect that you are a crossdresser, wear a guy costume. Or, do the "woman thing" but really badly. Stuff a bra with socks and make sure it's too high on your chest. Wear a really cheap wig, leave a beard shadow and wear too much makeup and do it poorly. Wear a pair of flashy heels but stumble around in them. Wear a too tight for your age miniskirt and fishnet stockings. Paint your nails badly.

Halloween isn't really the "crossdresser's holiday" it's made out to be. It's fine for a beginner, but I wouldn't be happy doing what I posted. Now if you want to go out on the town where people won't know you, it would be a great holiday because people won't be sure if you're a GG or in costume. If they read you, fine, you just did great with your costume.

[Lori Kurtz]

If I intended to stay in the closet, I wouldn't do it more than once in many many years. So think long and hard about this before you take the step--it might be a step toward coming out, which is fine if that's what you want to do.

Back when I was actively dressing up, I enjoyed Halloween as a time when I could go out in public without worrying about being read. I wouldn't do it anywhere where I would expect to encounter people I knew, though. There's a different mentality in people's minds about how people are dressed on Halloween. I was close to passable, but not 100%, so normally I could let myself be seen from a distance (and enjoyed doing so), but not close up, especially in daylight. On Halloween, I enjoyed walking around freely and going into stores and such, because there was less risk of hearing hurtful remarks or of being harassed. Many people who saw me no doubt realized I was a guy, but hey, it's Halloween ... no problem. Some guys would look at me and smile and/or give me a thumbs-up or whatever, and I'm sure they knew I was a guy, but Halloween freed them up to enjoy the way I looked.

[Annaliese]

If you go as Miley, you won't need a wig. I say go for it.

[AlexisRaeMoon]

Update! Last night I finally told my wife I have decided to go as Lady Gaga this year. Much to my surprise, this was the entirety of her reaction (said with a slight smirk):

"Honey, you always want to be the woman."

And then her nose was back her book. I had this long speech worked out in head to justify myself in case she flipped out, and another speech in case she just wanted to drill me on it. It's almost infuriating because I delayed this for days trying to screw up the courage, expecting it to be this big thing, and I basically got the equivalent of, "that's nice, dear." She didn't even put minimal effort into trying to talk me out of it...

I'm so happy and excited right now I can hardly stand it! Last time I cd'd on Halloween it was a last minute decision, the night before. Everything got thrown together really fast. Now I've got almost a month to plan. This Halloween is going to be epic!

Wish me luck...

[JamieG]

That's great! But before you get too excited, you may want to check to make sure that she didn't think you were joking. Also, do you know if she has a preference for couples' costumes or doing individual costumes. If the former, does this push her into going as someone she doesn't really want?

BTW, I can empathize with the whole screwing up courage thing. There's been a number of times where I've planned for days an argument to do something crossdressing related, only to have it be no big deal with my wife. Of course, there's a handful of time where I thought it was a minor request, and a huge blowout happened, so go figure.

[AlexisRaeMoon]

You know, I had the same thought this morning. Did I read acceptance into her reaction? But this wasn't the first time I mentioned it. Two weeks ago I said, hey guess what your friend said I should go as? Lady Gaga!

Then a few days ago I said, you know, I haven't ruled out Gaga yet!

Then last night is when I said I'd made my mind. And it's not like I haven't done this before. I said, I've done some research and I've come up with something that should work. So it's not like I haven't been talking about it for weeks.

When I come with blond wig, that ought to remove any doubt as to my intentions...

Oh, and she's doing her own thing. We never really do the couples costumes thing.

[Chickhe]

That's a similar reaction with my wife. She has already decided who I am and we are talking about a costume choice. It is just a fun thing to do on Halloween. It means nothing much to her, although it may mean a lot to you. The only time there is going to be an issues is if you make it in to a big emotional thing about how you feel about gender... It really is just a costume on Halloween, get over any fear and just do you best to pull it off as best as you can. She is going to respect you for how good a job you do and just make sure it is enjoyable to her, in a way she expects you to be 'man enough to be a female for the night without being a wimp'.

[BiancaEstrella]

I stopped crossdressing for Halloween because this isn't a costume for me anymore.

[Stephania]

My wife and I don't do halloween, but I may use it as a chance to dress up and go shopping. Wee haw

[stacycoral]

Yes your time is up, get all dress up and have fun, I have dress for the last couple of years and my SO told me I can't this year, living in a very small town and area, there would be so questions but on the other man I really dont' care anymore, if t was not for still having a daughter in high school I would go out everyday, or at least at Halloween because these cowboys around here are still living in the cookie cutter for what males have be like, special in the big city you will have a wonderful time, besides women really enjoy us dressing up as women on Halloween have fun, hugs.