Halloween question...

[AmyGaleRT]

I think one of the keys to making it work is having an actual costume, rather than just going as "a woman." Have fun with it! Death, Elvira, Wonder Woman, even the good old sexy witch. As long as it's a costume, it's more fun!

Well, in my case, I'm kind of going for "stylish witch." I'll have the embroidered black dress with bell sleeves, the lace-up black ankle boots with 3" heels, the black satin witch's hat with feathers and tulle, the satin cape, the black lace fingerless gloves, the silver pentacle earrings and pendant...I kind of patterned it after some publicity photos of Elizabeth Montgomery as Samantha from Bewitched.

- Amy

[AlexisRaeMoon]

This evening I was chatting with our friend who hosts that annual Halloween party (and who is a real stickler for people showing up in costume), grousing about how I didn't have any good ideas this year. We batted around a few ideas, mostly rock stars because that's what I do most often, but I've sort of run the gamut. So then she said, "you should do a female rock star - like Lady Gaga or Amy Winehouse. You've done drag before, right?" Oh yeah, what a fascinating idea!

I even posed the question that I did here (in retrospect, probably not a great move, since that looks more suspicious!), but I said, "I did that once before, don't you think people will start to think it's kind of weird?" She was like, "Not at all! People don't care..."

Since this is one of my wife's best friends, even if my wife balks, I can just fall back on her friend's endorsement! "It wasn't my idea! Really!"

I think my path is set...so which one? Amy or Gaga?

[AllyCDTV]

Gaga absolutely. It will give you a great range of costumes to choose from. Amy's been gone for a while and a lot of people might not get it or even be offended that you are going as a dead rocker.

[ME2.0]

The only positive/negative comment that I've ever gotten on my "halloween costome" (depending on how you look at it) was, someone made the comment that I did my costume a little too well and kidded that I must have done this before. I told them I just watched a lot of Youtube and laughed.

Great idea though,

Hugs,
Staci

[Randee]

You could say you had to go as Miley Cyrus instead of your wife to preserve her dignity. Yours obviously is already shot. keep it fun.

[Christie Camelle]

I dressed as "myself" for Halloween last year. It was a blast and other than the expected sarcastic remarks and jokes it was the most fun I have had in years! I got hit on by men and women both! So yes, Amber will be on the loose again this Halloween! Go for it hun!

[NicoleScott]

Amusing aside: my wife and I were trying to come up with some costume ideas tonight, and she said (jokingly), "I'll go as Robin Thicke and you can go as Miley Cyrus!"

My wife and I were trying to come up with costume ideas. She said "Let's go as a horse. I'll be the head and you just be yourself."

Years ago a group of about 6 from a neighboring company visited our office. One was a guy who made a very convincing young woman. When they left, the office buzz was "too convincing", "he's done that before", etc.
One piece of advice I have read several times here on the forum is if you want to go en femme, go as a characher, real or fictitious, instead of "a woman". The thinking is that you will be less likely to be seen as a crossdresser, but rather the character.

[Abbygirl]

OK, I need some opinions here:

For a closeted crossdresser, it's pretty easy to get away with dressing up once for Halloween, but I've always figured trying to do it again might start to arouse some suspicions.

But, is there a "statue of limitations?" That is, the first time I crossdressed for the annual Halloween party was 2008...has enough time passed that I might be able to do it again? I expect there might be a few wisecracks, and that I can handle.

Ariana,

I posted the pretty much the same question last year, for me it had been 10 years since my first CD'ing Halloween. My opinion is- there is NOT a statute of limitations if you are going to be seen by the same people- but so what!?! I think the first time is the one that "lets the cat out of the bag".

I too fretted about starting a trend by CD'ing a second time, but I went ahead and dressed up again and had a blast. Now everybody just waits to see "what kind of girl he's going to be this year".

Some will say, just do it badly as if you've had no practice and no one will suspect. I can appreciate that perspective but if you are like me, that's no fun! I go all out or I don't do it at all. I freely admitted to doing my own makeup and to how I made cleavage and the whole bit. Have fun with the questions, I say!

It was mentioned that one of the keys is to have an actual costume, don't just go as a girl. I couldn't agree more, that helps a lot. I've been lucky enough to have a GF to play off of, it totally works this way. We pick "couples" style costumes that go together, and then just reverse the roles. The first year we did the hooker/pimp thing, then 10 years later we did Gomez and Morticia Addams. This year we are doing Sonny and Cher. Next year is Dorothy and Toto, that will rock!

Go for it!!!

[Tera]

I've been mulling over this idea this year, going dressed en femme for the first time ever this Halloween. The only problem is they're all friends of mine and people I used to work with. As abbygirl said I would have no problem whatsoever with a girlfriend to play off of but alas I'm single But that works for sure, I've seen it done. One year a bunch of my friends showed up to a Halloween party in skirts and dresses and what not and one of their girlfriends was in a suit "pimping" them and nobody gave a second thought other than it was hilarious. But the people I'll be with aren't exactly accepting types so it might be risky, and I don't mean violent, just look at you differently from now on, yet on the other hand if I can't come up with a good guy costume.......

[5150 Girl]

Amusing aside: my wife and I were trying to come up with some costume ideas tonight, and she said (jokingly), "I'll go as Robin Thicke and you can go as Miley Cyrus!"

Oh, ha ha, funny!

I think that's an awsome idiea!

So, if you're worried about getting outed, insteead of just going as your fem self, pick a chericter... Like the year I went as Daisy Duke. A freind who know about me asked, "If you dress as a woman all the time, then how is this a costume"? I expalined to him, "as a woman" is not the costume,,, Daisy Duke is the costume.
BTW, I'm torn ths year... Poison Ivy, Wonder Woman, or a playboy bunny

[AmyGaleRT]

Some will say, just do it badly as if you've had no practice and no one will suspect. I can appreciate that perspective but if you are like me, that's no fun! I go all out or I don't do it at all. I freely admitted to doing my own makeup and to how I made cleavage and the whole bit. Have fun with the questions, I say!

This is the approach I'm going to take, Abby. When I dress as a witch, it will be with the best-quality femme presentation I can manage, and I will use everything I have as Amy to make the look convincing.

I'm fully aware that this might lead to questions on the part of my coworkers, both male and female: "Did you have your fiancee do your makeup? Are those actual earrings? How do you manage to walk in those heels? And where did you get those boobs?"

I'll brush off what I can by just smiling at the questioner and saying, in Amy-voice, "Magic, dear boy." (or "...dear lady.")

But, if someone is really persistent and genuinely curious as opposed to judgmental, I suppose I would tell them more. This is part of my belief system, too: that, if more people knew crossdressers, and learned something of what makes us what we are, fewer people would hate and fear them.

(And yes, I'd reassure them: "After today, I'll be back to strictly business. At least until next year...")

- Amy

[SandyR]

This will be my 3rd year in a row dressing for Halloween. We are both going as Broncos Cheerleaders renting a limo and all. No one cares in-facft they are already looking forward to seeing what we come up with this year. Oh sure I get a few rude looks/comments, but I just tell them "it takes a real man to wear a dress"

Have fun!

[gender_blender]

Just do it. No one remembers last Halloween or earlier.

[AlexisRaeMoon]

Update! Last night I finally told my wife I have decided to go as Lady Gaga this year. Much to my surprise, this was the entirety of her reaction (said with a slight smirk):

"Honey, you always want to be the woman."

And then her nose was back her book. I had this long speech worked out in head to justify myself in case she flipped out, and another speech in case she just wanted to drill me on it. It's almost infuriating because I delayed this for days trying to screw up the courage, expecting it to be this big thing, and I basically got the equivalent of, "that's nice, dear." She didn't even put minimal effort into trying to talk me out of it...

I'm so happy and excited right now I can hardly stand it! Last time I cd'd on Halloween it was a last minute decision, the night before. Everything got thrown together really fast. Now I've got almost a month to plan. This Halloween is going to be epic!

Wish me luck...

[JamieG]

That's great! But before you get too excited, you may want to check to make sure that she didn't think you were joking. Also, do you know if she has a preference for couples' costumes or doing individual costumes. If the former, does this push her into going as someone she doesn't really want?

BTW, I can empathize with the whole screwing up courage thing. There's been a number of times where I've planned for days an argument to do something crossdressing related, only to have it be no big deal with my wife. Of course, there's a handful of time where I thought it was a minor request, and a huge blowout happened, so go figure.

[AlexisRaeMoon]

You know, I had the same thought this morning. Did I read acceptance into her reaction? But this wasn't the first time I mentioned it. Two weeks ago I said, hey guess what your friend said I should go as? Lady Gaga!

Then a few days ago I said, you know, I haven't ruled out Gaga yet!

Then last night is when I said I'd made my mind. And it's not like I haven't done this before. I said, I've done some research and I've come up with something that should work. So it's not like I haven't been talking about it for weeks.

When I come with blond wig, that ought to remove any doubt as to my intentions...

Oh, and she's doing her own thing. We never really do the couples costumes thing.

[Chickhe]

That's a similar reaction with my wife. She has already decided who I am and we are talking about a costume choice. It is just a fun thing to do on Halloween. It means nothing much to her, although it may mean a lot to you. The only time there is going to be an issues is if you make it in to a big emotional thing about how you feel about gender... It really is just a costume on Halloween, get over any fear and just do you best to pull it off as best as you can. She is going to respect you for how good a job you do and just make sure it is enjoyable to her, in a way she expects you to be 'man enough to be a female for the night without being a wimp'.

[Allison2006]

A couple if years ago I went out on Halloween dressed in a school girl costume and someone did comment on it(but not negatively), although it had been 10 years since I had previously dressed femme. I went out for Halloween dressed femme again last year, but that was up at Niagara Falls and took no pictures so no flak from that one.

[Mink]

i guess i too am a bit wary of doing it too often!

i only had the courage to finally do it in 2010 and i went over the top with a pink clubby type dress & black tights / shaving my legs / cheesy wig / FULL BEARD ... so people thought it was amusing of course! bearded lady!

then last year i went with a more casual look / better wig and no one really cared... but this was in a college town / old college friends who still lived there... much different crowd!

i know i regret not doing it way back in 2004 when two of my guy friends said Let's all dress as girls for halloween! and only them 2 did it... one looked like a joke but the other guy looked REALLY good (made me wonder!) ... he made a very sexy girl!

hehe!

it was all in good fun

i wish i could do it every year but i don't know... depends where i go or whom i'm with i guess too!

[heellover]

My wife asked our three year old (who is absolutely hooked on any Disney fairy! ) what she wanted to be for Halloween, and she said a princess,then she asked what mommy should be..and she said a princess,then she asked what daddy should be, and she said a princess....so I guess we are all going to be princesses.

[Mink]

ha! that'd be cute and amazing!

princess party!

[AmyGaleRT]

....so I guess we are all going to be princesses.

I love it! The family that dresses in princess gowns together...stays together! Or something like that.

- Amy

[Nancie64]

When I was a little younger I went ever year for like 6 years dressed in some female clothes. No one really said a word. A couple of years I just made it look trashy with the nice underthings I had. My ex SO knew about the dressing and always helped make the evening a great time. We were in Vegas a couple of years and dressed for the evening but not looking trashy. Go with what you want and if you want to throw them off a little go as a witch with nice underthings. Just take some really nice things for the travel to and from. Enjoy it.

[AlexisRaeMoon]

. The only time there is going to be an issues is if you make it in to a big emotional thing about how you feel about gender... It really is just a costume on Halloween, get over any fear and just do you best to pull it off as best as you can.

And this really is the crux of the issue here, for me. Sometimes I think we (ok, maybe it's just me) make mountains out of mole hills when it comes to our reasons for dressing. Because the compulsion is so strong, and because so many of us try so hard to repress it, that it becomes this big, emotional deal. But when you really get down to it, it's just a helluva lot of fun! And since I've got "acceptance" for at least one night, I feel less stressed about it all. Some days I do think it's this big gender identity crisis, but really, I just like women's clothing better than men's. Not saying I want to dress like a woman all the time (god, that sounds like a lot of work), but every once in a while, it's awesome. And if you're not hiding it or repressing it, then it's less of a big emotional thing.

I'm so glad to live in a world where there is Halloween!

[mariehart]

I agree with others, as it's Halloween it should really be a costume. Just dressing as an ordinary woman doesn't cut it. But on the other hand it does give a lot of leeway to choose some fabulous fantasy outfit. For my part I like to go as a princess in big dress complete with tiara and glass slippers or maybe that old cliché Marilyn Monroe. Lady Ga Ga or Madonna appeals too.

Sadly though even dressing up at Halloween is a fantasy for me. I've never been invited to a Halloween party. Strangely even though Halloween is essentially an Irish/Celtic event. People don't organise many costume parties for it. Essentially it's strictly for the kids even though we get a public holiday for Halloween.

Of course Murphy's law says that I'll get an invite this year. But I'll be in France at the time. I don't think they do Halloween?