Are you attracted to men while cd? (Dug up from the archives)

[jack-sparrow]

hello everyone

having recently rediscovered my cd urges I decided to look into a few things that had been on my mind, a fantasy of being cd'ed with a man and desired almost to the point he thought I was a woman, maybe going a little further to something sexual.

The question I have is that if he was to go that far and claimed that he was straight whilst he knew I was actually a guy, would that infact be a sign he really wasn't into women as much as he thought he was or could that mean that he'd be bisexual instead?

I suppose if this scenario ever happened (and I was passable to the point he couldn't make any distinguishable differences between me and a real girl), then would it be totally innocent he thought I was good enough to have sex with?

The original thread was originally posted way back in 2008, but thought to ask people who may not have seen this,
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...o-men-while-cd

[JenniferZ]

To each their own. Personally I love women and like all aspects including ones that are dressed in dresses/skirts, nylons and heels.
Jennifer.

[SophieKitty]

I'm open to the idea of being with a guy, but so far I've never found a "normal" guy attractive, but I'm open to changing sexualities of there's a guy that somehow blows me away.

However I am attracted to CD/trans girls. And admittedly there's a lot of girls I'd like to date on this site *blush* I don't know if that does make me bisexual, or a straight guy/lesbian woman though?

[jack-sparrow]

I guess the thing to also consider is that would he still want something sexual with a cd, when the cd is not actually dressed up as a woman? So basically the cd (or myself) is in male mode, with guy clothes and is basically himself not dressed as a woman?

[Kate Simmons]

I've had guys who have wanted sex with me en femme and knew what my real plumbing was. I never asked them if they felt that they were straight, gay or bi. In the heat of the moment that hardly mattered and I took it in stride and with with the flow of feelings. I'll leave the result to YOUR imagination. For the most part guys like this like me in either mode, however.

[Danitgirl1]

So this is very interesting and clearly gender identities and sexual orientation are more fluid than many people want to admit.
An interesting development of this question is how much of this 'switching' behaviour when en femme has to do with narcissistic tendencies?
Maybe the fantasy and the identity are so wrapped up in the 'self' that what some of us are really expressing is a desire to be sexual with the 'self' and that by dressing you compartmentalize the 'self' so that you can 'other' yourself and express sexual desire for yourself. This is then expressed as a desire for a male when en femme even though you may not self identify as bi/gay whatever or even have real sexual attraction for another male. Clearly I am not a psychologist and I am really just talking from ignorance but reading the original thread got me thinking.
Sorry!
Dani

[Beverley Sims]

Years ago my girlfriends taught me how to reduce a man's ardor.
This was a successful exercise in passing for me..

[LasVegasXD]

I'm open to the idea of being with a guy, but so far I've never found a "normal" guy attractive, but I'm open to changing sexualities of there's a guy that somehow blows me away.

However I am attracted to CD/trans girls. And admittedly there's a lot of girls I'd like to date on this site *blush* I don't know if that does make me bisexual, or a straight guy/lesbian woman though?

Me too Sophie. I'm curious if the "right" gurl came up to me or vice versa. It has never happened yet, but never say never. Open to partying, especially in the town I'm in.

[DDee]

Well if it was years ago I would say I wouldn't go any further . But that being said the at present I would really think differently, not really knowing how I would react. I do know I have fantasies of this in my mind and its very exciting with a straight acting guy or a CD never giving it a second thought of him being gay /straight or bi. If he didn't know I was a guy I would sure not hide the fact I was a Male CD. The hole scenario is very exciting to me and in my mind I would submit to his desires but with shacking knees.

Waiting for the opportunity DDee

[NicoleScott]

No, I'm not attracted to men at any time. But I am drawn, interested, intrigued, excited by the idea that a man (or woman for that matter) might be attracted to me when I'm in femme mode. It's a psychological response, not a physical one.

[Jenniferathome]

This question appears at least monthly. And the answer is the same: BOTH he and you are gay/bisexual.

[Frédérique]

having recently rediscovered my cd urges I decided to look into a few things that had been on my mind, a fantasy of being cd'ed with a man and desired almost to the point he thought I was a woman, maybe going a little further to something sexual. The question I have is that if he was to go that far and claimed that he was straight whilst he knew I was actually a guy, would that infact be a sign he really wasn't into women as much as he thought he was or could that mean that he'd be bisexual instead? I suppose if this scenario ever happened (and I was passable to the point he couldn't make any distinguishable differences between me and a real girl), then would it be totally innocent he thought I was good enough to have sex with?

Sounds a bit like the plot of The Crying Game, doesn’t it?

To me, dressing up as a woman for your gay or bisexual partner sounds a bit antiquated. I think it was meant to “disguise” what was actually going on, back in the day when homosexuality was illegal. Nowadays you can skip the frock and just BE gay – why jump through hoops, unless you’re really into playing dress-up games? If you wish to be desirable to men, you’re either gay or bisexual, or perhaps merely doing what your female clothing infers. If your fantasy is to do “something sexual” with a man, I think the reason is self-explanatory…

Your dream man may be bisexual, or he may view you as a target for humiliation. Would you submit to that, or are you viewing everything through rose-colored lenses? Maybe women are no fun for HIM, and he wants to take it out on you. Of course, he could be a kind-hearted bisexual, perhaps one who likes crossdressers, and not “into” women per se, if at all. Maybe he’s been a crossdresser in the past, and he feels sorry for you, so he tries to bolster your confidence by playing along…

However, if you’re so passable that he thinks you’re a woman, and you are thrilled he wants to have sex with you, what’s he going to do when you undress, or spill the beans? Doesn’t this come under the heading of “fooling” someone, even though YOU feel good about it? I'll tell you, If I was that man, I would feel cheated and used, and my reaction to your imposture wouldn’t be at all pretty…

However I am attracted to CD/trans girls.

Me, too, but NOT the bitchy ones…

[Cheryl T]

While not attracted to men or interested in them sexually at all I am intrigued by the idea of a 'date'. Having some man take the lead and allowing me to be totally in the feminine role for an evening out has always been something I was curious about. How would I react, would it be what I imagine it to be?
Well, it's something that will remain in the realm of "what if" for me and nothing more.

[DebbieL]

Many transsexuals and she-males are more feminine than GGs. Some men are really attracted to them because the TG partner really loves being as feminine and pretty as possible, as often as possible. The challenge with cross-dressers is that they might enjoy dressing up, but more often want to get naked for sexual activities.

For me, growing up transgendered from a very young age, boys and men were associated with violence, fear, and pain. The prospect of sexual relationships seemed more like a rape scenario.

When I finally did come out, I sought out female partners and found that I was getting LOTS of interest from boys, but only a few bisexual women were interested in me. Lesbians didn't want to have to deal with the "little problem" between my legs, and heterosexual women didn't want to date a guy who had nicer legs than she did. Bisexual women often struggle with wanting the sensuality of a woman, with the stability and security of a man. To these women, a cross-dresser represented the perfect solution.

I would guess that men are pretty much the same. A heterosexual man wouldn't want to deal with the "little problem", no matter how little, and a homosexual man would be looking for a man, not a man who looks like a woman. On the other hand, a bisexual man would be attracted to someone who looks like a very beautiful woman, but has the equipment of a man.

A transsexual in transition adds a new dimension, because hormone treatments make her "little problem" even smaller, and unable to maintain erection. She can still have orgasms, but won't ejaculate. The man or woman who dates a transsexual might actually enjoy that their partner is in this state. There are still many ways for the TS to satisfy their partner, and there are ways to please the TS that don't involve more "traditional" forms of sex.

When considering the nature of sexual relations with someone who couldn't achieve erection, and dresses like a beautiful woman, you can use some imagination and see where there might be some pleasant and exciting possibilities for the partner.

The question is a classic. Many transgenders and transsexuals consider themselves "Lesbians", because they are only attracted to women, and enjoy making love as a woman. The women who love them tend to consider themselves bisexual, because they are attracted to the masculine and feminine combination.

The more interesting phenomenon for transgenders and cross-dressers, is the way they are treated by men when dressed as women. When men see me as a woman, they hold doors for me, they are more polite, they tend to flirt more, and give me more compliments. This is a radical contrast to what they did to me when they thought I was a "Sissy" in elementary school.

As I transition, I find myself seeing SOME men as attractive. Perhaps, if I were single, and I had the choice between a man who would encourage me to dress up as often as possible, and a woman who would discourage my dressing and try to limit it to rare occasions, there would be more interest in the man. Given a choice between a man who wanted to please me sexually 2-3 times a week, and a woman who reluctantly accepted sex 3-4 times per YEAR (like my first wife), I would probably be more interested in the man.

If you divide sexual preference into Kinsey's scale of 6 degrees from 1 heterosexual to sex gay, then you create a y axis of sexual identity, ranging from 1 - gender conformant, to 6 - transsexual in transition - you can see quickly that there are 36 possible combinations. Add that same matrix by both partners and the number of permutations get's really high 36x36 or 1296 possible combinations. There are some that obviously wouldn't work, such as the totally heterosexual man and a gender conformant male partner. Others, such as bisexual to transgender seem to make sense.

In my own case, I have found that even though I am "ATTRACTED" to very feminine women, the women that work out best in relationships tend to be more masculine, more sexually aggressive, and more eager to seduce me. They are also bisexual, but mostly enjoying my ability to please them as a lesbian, and able to accept my limited ability to perform as male. The women tend to like that I can "pass" as a man, so we can have a normal social and dating life. At the same time, in the bedroom, we are more lesbian that bisexual.

[Lorileah]

The question I have is that if he was to go that far and claimed that he was straight whilst he knew I was actually a guy, would that infact be a sign he really wasn't into women as much as he thought he was or could that mean that he'd be bisexual instead?

wanna see the T-shirt? It is all fun and games until someone throws you out. My weekend was just like that.

I have known this man for almost a year. He has claimed from day one that he is straight and that he only wants to be friends. OK with me. As long as I know the ground rules. But something changed a couple months ago. He emailed me and said he "dreamed about" me. OK again, I can live with that, dreams are just your subconscious working. It doesn't mean yo WANT to do it. Then he started hanging out at he bar I frequent and talking about how I am on his mind...but "I'm straight" he would say over and over. I would say "don't worry about it, you are just having fantasies". Well with out getting into details...there was the make out sessions in the car...then more. That is where it goes haywire. Things happened. I was well aware of what I was doing and I enjoyed all of it BUT the first time he freaked and was gone before I even had time to think. Really he was out of the car before he even straightened his clothing I think, all the while saying "I am straight....I am straight..." Didn't hear from him for two weeks. Then this Saturday he is back (Now you can start asking the question...is he straight???) and asking me to come home and spend the night with him "You don't have to do anything...just sleep" (Well? how are you doing on the straight question? Is he or isn't he?). We went to his apartment (Me knowing that spending the night was not an option). Things progressed,there was a minute where I expected the deck rail to break and the two of us falling three floors to my car. Into the bedroom...fill in the blanks and then..."um...I can't find my cell phone...I have to go back and find my phone...I can't believe you did that...I am straight...I want kids...I want to get married" Uh huh all MY fault. I know that when he said he had to leave his OWN apartment, it meant it was time for me to leave.

OK, so long story (ps he hasn't called or emailed since). Is he straight? Or is he Bi? Or is he just out of control when his hormones are up and when they fall after, is he guilty? (another whole chapter of this story). I tried talking to him several times asking if he was "sure" before we went anywhere with it and his answer was "I love you as a girl...it doesn't matter". Seems it DOES matter... In my view, he can be straight, I am a woman in every aspect except the anatomy. However when the clothes come off.... Technically he is BI....but not in his mind. What's the answer? I say he is bi (but I think most people are in some manner). The next two weeks he will be straight and then....he will forget again.

[Kate Simmons]

You can have a good relationship with someone if they are secure in themself and know what they really want. As Lori said many people don't, however, and therein lies the problem. Either way it all comes off in the bedroom and that is something you can't fake. If the relationship stands after that, then you know the feelings are genuine.

[Barbara Dugan]

There are some guys that treat you the same way they would treat a woman, those are the self proclaimed straight and even they may be fun, I prefer the ones that label themselves bisexuals

[Zylia]

Look, I don't really change when I dress up. I change my outward appearance to resemble what a woman may look like (well, more or less), but I don't change my sexual preference, which is not 100% gynephilic in the first place, but that doesn't really matter.

That said, I can imagine that a gynephilic (fetishistic) MtF cross-dresser can get his autogynephilia to a point where imagining himself as a woman in a sexual act with a man arouses him, or even gets to a point where he actually goes ahead and tries it out. Autogynephilia can be one hell of a drug.

I don't know what could drive a cisman into the arms of a cross-dresser other than bisexual feelings, but that's a rather rigid view on sexuality, ruling out all kinds of 'experimental phases' and quite possibly erotic fetishes that have nothing to do with 'normal' sex. Maybe it's a projected form of autogynephilia as well.

[ArleneRaquel]

When I'm enfemme I love to be noticed by males, in a favorable light of course. That said I can enjoys men either way, but I perfer to be in female mode when closeness is called for.

[Lori B]

All the time,,,and when I dream, involves sex with a guy,,,problem is I usually wake up before the happy ending

[Wanna be Heather]

ebs:Oh yeah. When dressed, it is always a naked guy treating me as his girl.

[Beth Wilde]

Lorileah, that guy sounds somewhat screwed up..... It sounds like he is Bi (at least) but cannot admit it to himself, that can be very destructive to both himself and those around him! Look after yourself xx

[jack-sparrow]

Lorileah, thats a story to tell...Sorry to hear it ended badly, I agree with Beth Wilde.

[Raychel]

Simple one word answer for me, NO.
I just like girls, Doesn't matter how I am dressed, still like girls

[Lynn Marie]

It sure looks like Debbie L and Lorileah answered this question as well as it can ever be answered. I'm thoroughly impressed. I love women, hell I try to emulate them! I can also love a gentleman. Especially if he gets aroused around me! For the most part though, "I'm just not that kind of woman".