"We are not gods. We are not men. We are not making claims. We are only boys" (from Conversation by Gary Numan)
Yesterday I was talking to my sister in her room at the back of the house. She often sits in her chair, reading or watching TV, and, from her position, she has a good view of the driveway. As we were talking, one of the little boys next door drove his motorized tractor/cart thingee down our driveway, something he and his twin brother do nearly every day. On this occasion, the boy put on the brakes, turned, and then drove his contraption straight into a bush! He backed up a bit, and then drove back into the bush, for no apparent reason. “Why is he doing that?" My sister asked. I was going to say, “I don’t know...” but I decided to say something better. “Do I have to explain boyish behavior?” I said, with a grin, and my sister, after a pause, said, “No, you don’t.”
Since I’m very much a BOY, I can explain boyish behavior. I think. We have to do things. We have to try things, even if it’s a stupid idea. We can’t help ourselves. We need a sense of adventure, and, if there is nothing else to do, we’ll drive straight into a bush, or go headlong into the unknown. It’s THERE, for one thing, the ubiquitous “situation that presents itself,” which I recently referred to in another post. In short, a boy will try things just for the sake of trying them. I know what I’m talking about – I wouldn’t be sitting here, at my laptop, my numerous paintings adorning the walls, in my adorable pseudo-schoolgirl outfit, trying to connect with invisible people, if I hadn’t TRIED a thing or two in my life...
For me, crossdressing, or the idea of wearing girl’s clothes, just presented itself one day. I jumped at the opportunity to do something really different. No other boys ever told me about this, and I had no influential girlfriends around at the time. Even my female cousin was a tomboy, and we played like boys, so how did I come up with the idea of wearing a skirt, or a dress, or (gasp) girl’s underwear? Maybe there was nobody to play with one fine day, and I looked around for some NEW thing to do. The idea of dressing up like a girl just “came” to me. COOL! After all, being a boy, I did a lot of thinking about girls – why not wear their clothes and “become” a girl, or at least try to look like one?
I should mention, at this point, that I never felt I really WAS a girl. It was obvious. I was obsessed with boyish things like military stuff, trucks, construction equipment, tractors, airplanes, high speed anything, and, of course, death and destruction. Up until I began my crossdressing “career,” my biggest (boyish) thrill was when they let me drive a combine here in Kansas, but, even then, I was beginning to notice girls in a big way. One night, a switch went ON, and most of my boyish proclivities melted away. Oh, there was a brief interest in other boys, and I don’t mean as playmates, but I soon homed in on the world of girls. I drew pictures of girls, replacing my pictures of tanks, trucks, and planes, and I kept on drawing, and drawing, and drawing...
Situations presented themselves, and I tried all sorts of things. The BOY was still there, even though he had to pretend to be a man. I had girlfriends. I painted pictures. I worked. I worked some more. I made mistakes. I kept going. Finally, one day, I tried on girl’s clothes. I liked it. Briefly, I felt different. Not like a girl, mind you, but decidedly less male. The “boy,” by this point, was being willfully submerged, and my choice of clothing reflected that. I thought about this subjugation, in fact I thought a lot about it, but I knew I was still a boy. I figured I must be dressing-up and playing as a girl, no more and no less. Isn’t this what a boy might do, you know, try something for the sake of trying it? “Nothing ventured, nothing gained” was, I do believe, originally spoken by a boy...
I’m not saying that, if given the opportunity, every boy would entertain the idea of dressing-up as a girl, but I think that inherent boyish curiosity makes this (at least) a possibility. I guess it all depends on how you’re programmed, but I’m trying (in vain), not to use that term. I was fortunate to not have any brothers, or even male cousins, so I was largely left to my own devices. Therefore, when the blessed opportunity presented itself, I couldn’t wait to take the plunge. It just made sense, and there was nobody around to say NO. I’m still talking about it, many years later, and I’m still very much a boyish boy of the boy persuasion. I’ll try anything, even if it’s something I’m not supposed to do – it’s in my nature, it’s purely natural, and it is to be expected. Boys WILL be boys, you know...
How would you go about explaining boyish behavior to a female? Is it possible?
Pardon me while I jump, headlong, into that unknown thing over yonder – it’s THERE, and I just gotta know how it feels...
If you don't like the way I'm livin', you just leave this long haired country girl alone:
Originally Posted by Kate Simmons
