How do you and your SO interact after the talk?

[Vanessa5]

When I came out my wife had already figured something was up. Before we got married she found my stash of lingerie and told me to get rid of it. I did. Just a few months later I had another stash and had it found and was told again to chuck it. Fast forward to about 3 years ago when I came out she basically said I need thearapy (she wanted a cure) and if I dress she doesn't want to hear about it or participate. DADT. She still thinks that I can be cured of cding. Now when she feels the need in an argument she can pull the cd card and shame me. Not a very productive way to talk about it or my feelings.

[AveryS]

Paula - you are 100% correct. I'm just too chicken to have that conversation, and actually hope that over time, perhaps the hormones will help me life life as-is. So far, it has. I dress in private, and would like to go out from time to time, and ultimately that is something she has hinted at being able to tolerate. Living fully as a woman is a no-no for her - at least until the kids grow up. That, and I have to keep my penis.

There have been occasional glimmers of hope - she has commented positively about my mood since I have been on HRT. Most of he challenge is the uncertainty of the future. She lives in a world of Jerry Springer 'she-male' perceptions and not in the real world. Yes I am hiding this from her, however I did come out to her as trans, so it's not entirely a secret. I am also dealing with the situation the best that I can, on my own, as she had also requested.

The one other time it came up she said clearly 'I doubt you will ever share anything about it with me again.' And she's right for now.

[PaulaQ]

@AveryS - the irony is that all the spouses who say "but what about the children - OMG, what will this do to them!?!?!?!!!!" are really talking about themselves. Turns out, kids mostly just deal with this stuff. Even my grown sons did. Almost everyone I know who's TS, who has kids, still has a strong relationship with their kids. With their ex-wife? Not so much. The one who'll take this hardest will be your wife.

I hope everything works out for you. I understand what you're trying to do, and why. I'd hoped something like that would work out for me.