A recent post about a girl with an F drivers license being afraid to use the ladies room got me thinking.
I have been going out in the mainstream since the early nineties. Went full time almost two years ago. I'm not passable. I know it, and although I try hard, I'm six feet tall, my hairline has crept back, and I only started using a female voice recently. I dress like any GG in a given situation, and in general, just blend in with my surroundings. Okay, I've spent my life on stage, so I have all the confidence in the world.
To the point- Nobody ever treats me any different than any other woman. In social situations I join the girls side, in my profession I'm just 'The sound girl'. I've used women's washrooms for over twenty years without so much as a sideways glance. What gives? I admit, I always stay on the right side of the tracks, so I'm not putting myself in danger by going to redneck bars, or the like. But I don't do anything special to avoid detection, or ridicule. I can't, coincidently, live in the world's most tolerant town, and only visit the most friendly places. My home is in a tiny farming community, with four tractor dealers, and one car dealer. Everyone drives a pickup. Everybody knows I'm in transition.
I first stepped out of my home en femme in 1991, at a time that even Toronto was not so tolerant. Since then (allowing for middle age memory) I've heard gay slurs sent my way 4-5 times, I have been deliberately mis-gendered once, I have been asked if I'm a boy or a girl twice (once was by a seven year old girl), and asked if I was in costume once. Oh yeah, and handful of 'You're a guy' (just an observation) after somebody has been studying me. That's in over thirty years!
Confidence, and good judgement has something to do with it. Being in Canada as well (we're very tolerant, and polite), Maybe it's just good luck, but I'm not seeing any transphobic nature in people at all. Au contraire, I'm seeing love and acceptance.
I use the same precautions any woman would use, and I'll say I err on the side of caution in dicey situations, but my feeling of security is pretty damn good. I've never lived in fear for what I am, and I've never made apologies, or excuses.
A few of you girls are about to jump on my butt, and say 'You don't live where I do, where they regularly lynch trannies!' Granted, these are MY experiences only, and I likely haven't been where you live. And yes, in Toronto two TS sex workers were murdered a few years back. I'm no ostrich. Hate exists, and there are those who wish us harm, but I'm just calling them as I see them.
Is anybody else as invisible as I am? Am I setting myself up for the fall? I my view of the world so skewed I don't see the scowls on people faces when they see me? Just food for thought.