Women are prey, especially when dressed in heels. Once again, know your neighborhoods, pick your venues. Travel in pairs.
Women are prey, especially when dressed in heels. Once again, know your neighborhoods, pick your venues. Travel in pairs.
Lynn Marie
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Having been living as my true self for the past 7 or 8 months, yes I have a continuous feeling of mild vulnerability. When I'm in public the feeling is a little stronger, and I have taken steps to feel a little more secure. My therapist and I were discussing this very topic yesterday. I have never worn a skirt or a dress in public, the vulnerability factor kicks in and this is something she and I are going to work on. All in all, there is a world of difference in the way I see the world, now that I have started puberty all over again.
Bobbi
Hi!
I'm pretty happy go lucky as far as my attitude goes, but beneath that, I am a very cautious person regardless of where I am or what I am wearing. Evil exists and often finds it way crashing in at unexpected times. I too have a background in self-defense and security and cannot emphasize enough how important it is for everyone across the spectrum to be aware of their surroundings and to feel changes in the wind, as it could mean life of death in some circumstances.
Enjoy life, just with both eyes open. =)
Cheers,
Kalista
Last edited by Kalista Jameson; 09-11-2013 at 07:15 AM.
I'm a TGirl, yes it's true! I'm a TGirl, through and through.
I love nylons and high heels, mini-skirts and shopping deals!
I don't care what others say, life's too short, it's time to play.
I'm a TGirl, yes it's true! I'm a TGirl, how 'bout you?
Thanks for everyone's input. It is all food for thought. No wonder my wife was nervous.
Hey girl! As stated above, when dressed, you are perceived as a girl and considered an easy target. If they make you as a CD, that alone can make you a target, more for people who wouldn't normally want to rob or rape you, but just beat you. The worse mentioned, don't be afraid, just remain aware of the risks. If your out in public, stay out of dark alleys, Columbia has many that are well lit, and often transported, so no need to be paranoid, just cautious. Ceri is confident, yet vulnerable. I have run into situations on the road where I wasn't too sure of the interest I was attracting. May have been a pass.........may have been something eles........just good to keep aware.
Thankfully just once in many many times out. The problem was that "the public" were missing at that hour of the night.Originally Posted by Tiffanyselkoe
I hadn't thought about safety until then but it did give me an insight into the female world.
I did have another concern. If the fellow found out that I was a male would the situation be even worse? Either way I was out of there quickly (and that's an advantage of flats although I do envy those who can wear heels).
It is a dangerous world Tiffany whether in drab or dressed. Seems every day there are news stories of assaults, flash mobbing and other confrontations. We need to always be aware of our surroundings, stay away from isolated areas and generally seek light and people. You are never more vulnerable than when you are alone, in the dark and away from the relative safety of groups.
Be careful everyone no matter how you are dressed or presenting.
Hugs, Robin
I went to an honoring our dead meeting at our lgbt center here in chicago and bawled my eyes out. I think it dawned on me that I could be on this list just because of who I am. The brutality of the crimes is particularly chilling.
http://www.transgenderdor.org/memorializing-2012
Everyone be safe out there!
Today we always must think safety no matter how we are dressed, but especially when we present as women. If we wish to be perceived that way then we must accept the risks that come with it and safety must be paramount in our minds.
I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !
Tina has definitely helped me to be aware of how women perceive their environment. I did go through the stage of thinking that it would be one heck of a surprise to have someone who thought Tina was an easy target to be made aware that she was considerable tougher than her 4 inch heels might indicate.
But then I evolved to realize that the best situation was to NOT be put into a position to have to show how tough Tina is. That evolved into realizing that maybe I didn't need to explain just how tough I am in male mode as well. When in male mode any attacker has already sized up my male capabilities and is probably ready to come at me with overwhelming force. At least in Tina mode, they will not expect what will come back at them!
So, I always assess the situation as Tina would. It just makes so much more sense!
At 6ft 2in and 215 lbs I don't normally feel vulnerable, but as Andrea for some strange reason I do when
I'm out. Maybe its the bra, forms, shoes & purse.
No doubt, women are perceived as easier targets, because their presumed weakness, carrying money in an easy-to-grab purse, or for sexual assault. So it's only natural that they should be more aware than men of their surroundings, stick to better lighted and populated areas, and do things like have their car/house keys ready well before they stop walking. Guys need to be careful too, but for women there are additional concerns. So, when I go out as Julia I assume that I am more likely to be targeted for all the same reasons (a potential rapist will be surprised and disappointed, but probably angry too). Toss in one more threat that CDers face, and that is that a gay-basher may have "made" us and followed us to our cars.
So, yes, be more careful than you would in drab.
Also, those of you who think that because you are big guys you can handle any assault may be sadly mistaken. An attacker has the advantage of surprise, and often youth. Plus, fighting in heels and a skirt isn't a great way to end the night (or life). If you are over 40 and get a surprise attack by a 19 year old gym rat, you're likely to take a beating. Something like pepper spray may be a good thing to keep on hand (check local laws), but it isn't effective on everyone, even if you are able to get it out of your purse in time.
I'd say there is more potential for things to get ugly for a CD in a dark alley than exists for a GG, or especially a GM.
The lurker in a dark alley sees what appears to be a lady walking through. Purse, heels and skirt, easy pickins and low fight/flight risk. But lo, upon getting closer, the defenseless lamb begins to resemble a fellow ram. Once the assailant realizes that their prey is not what they appear to be, they may become agitated and lash out. The mugging may turn to an assault. If the crime in progress is of a sexual nature all the worse for the CD victim.
In my experience, there are nothing but dumpsters, rodents, homeless folks, hard drug users and/or stick-up kids in urban alleys. Unless a person can identify with one of those groups, it's probably best to steer clear... regardless of gender situation.
I can't offer a lot of advice here as I am not out and about. I have taught my wife self-defense and we approached it from all angles, her dressed out for a run and her dressed in a skirt and heels.
Until I saw this post I never thought how different self-defense would be in a skirt and heels. So, the other night my wife and I sparred in our basement, her playing the attacker (sweats and running shoes) and me total en femme (skirt, heels, lingerie, wig, make-up and purse). She kicked my ass in about 2 minutes.
I was completely thrown off center . . . heels are not easy to get off in a hurry and the skirt ended up tangling up around my waist, wig came off and ended up in my eyes. Purse went flying (didn't even know what to do with that).
So, even though I can handle myself quite well, a valuable lesson learned for me . . . never rely on your macho manly man physique or skills to save the day when you are dressed pretty.
Hugs
Isha
I had a scary lesson when I was a teenager. I would regularly dress and sneak out of the house at night, sometimes just to walk the neighborhood or meet a "friend". One night I was walking past a parking area near my house when a man stepped out of his parked car with his pants open and his "junk" exposed. He tried to coax me toward his car but I beat feet back home. Since then, I have occasionally had men follow me on foot and in vehicles, but since that night I am very careful where I go as Gina alone, and even with girl friends. There is no shortage of creeps and predators. Awareness is the key as it is the wildebeest that isn't paying attention to its surroundings that gets eaten by the lions.
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