A week or so after the fact, and I’m still thinking about this extremely profound post:
This could be the proverbial cornerstone of transgender – the act of convincing yourself that you’re a woman. I guess that’s why I don’t feel I’m TG, despite protestations to the contrary – I never tried to convince myself, indeed such a thing is either pointless or impossible, in my case. For others, convincing yourself may be a lifelong quest, a quest fraught with ups and downs, miscellaneous difficulties, and even the “tough love” of one’s own adopted community...Originally Posted by ninadiva
Convince is a strong word. It means to overcome the doubts of, to persuade, or to satisfy by evidence or argument, also to convict. The need to convince implies a certain level of doubt in one’s mind, if you wish (in this instance), to come to a point where you are convinced you’re a woman. If you’re MtF, as we who frequent this section mostly are, wouldn’t you say that your convictions, either desired or already present, have to persuade (or influence) his will? You either feel that you’re a woman, or you really should’ve been a woman, or you really WANT to be a woman, for whatever reason, so you set out to convince yourself of this fact, regardless of the cost, no matter what it takes...
To me, that is the essence of transgender, and I can now better understand why TG individuals are so defensive about things – it takes a lot of effort, this convincing, and nothing will deter the person from attaining a state where there are NO doubts. Fair enough. As I said earlier, I have no need to convince myself I’m a woman – I just dress like one, to appear like one, for a brief time, purely for enjoyment. I’m convinced I’m a MtF crossdresser, and nothing more. I have no doubts about that. I may look like a woman, to a certain degree, and I may entertain the idea of feeling like a woman now and then (according to my own precepts), but I could not persuade anyone that I actually WAS a woman. Speaking of certainty, I don’t have the full assurance of mind that is required to overcome my birth gender, something that, to me at least, cannot be denied...
I appreciate the effort required by a person struggling to convince, just like I admire those who have “won the battle,” so to say, as if there ever was a battle to begin with. I encounter many true individuals on this site who are imbued with the most heroic convictions – they have accepted themselves, indeed convinced themselves, of something that cannot be denied. Is it true that many people on this site have fulfilled the conditions of their personal mindset, achieving an unquestionable transgendered being, gratifying one’s wants, desires, and wishes? In other words, can you convince yourself that you’re a woman if you really want to? History is full of people who were convinced they were one thing or another, so they set out to satisfy this inner longing. I love people who reinvent themselves, a true act of courage in the face of conformity, but is convincing yourself that you’re a woman an act of courage or an act of necessity?
Rather than reinvent myself, I created an alter ego, or another aspect of myself, via crossdressing. I didn’t set out to do that, rather it was an outgrowth of my tactile, fetishistic proclivities. In many ways I am my own bosom buddy (pun unintended), a close friend or companion who is always there. This was the inevitable result of my isolated childhood, but I never felt that I actually was a girl. A quick glance in the mirror precludes any need to convince me otherwise. Crossdressing created my alter ego, simply by putting a new frame around something that was already there. This new aspect of me caused a few convulsions, but no need to convince myself that the boy wasn’t still there, under the clothes and makeup. As such, I could safely skip the need for conversion, or transmutation, from one state to another, and just enjoy my femme adornments...
If you have convinced yourself that you’re a woman, how did you accomplish it? I’d like to know. Really. You don’t have to convince me that transgender people exist, since I already know that. You also don’t have to convince me that there are males by birth who actively convince themselves they are actually women, or boys who are convinced that they are really girls. I know that, too. I admire your convictions, whoever you are, wherever you are, and whatever you are. I am, in many ways, a sympathetic bystander who is easy to persuade, or convince. I’m not here to convict you of a crime against gender, like outsiders might do. If you wish to convince yourself that you’re a woman, existing in fact and truth, sure and inevitable, I’m definitely on your side. I hope I’ve convinced you of that...
Are you convinced that you’re a woman? Tell me about it...
BTW – Even though I could never convince myself that I’m a woman, I’m convinced I’m an artist. I’ve convinced others of this unalterable fact, too, so I’m satisfied. However, I’m not convinced I’m a writer, so please relax...