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Thread: Can you cry?

  1. #1
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    Can you cry?

    I find that I can weep for others - that is pretty easy. I really care about other people. But my ability to cry for myself - I just can't do it. It was literally beaten out of me as a kid. My Dad would tell me "don't cry or I'll give you something to cry about!" (And he and Mr. Belt meant it!) The children's hospital where I spent much of my youth, shall we say, discouraged negative emotions, such as sadness, homesickness, or pain. They discouraged these strongly. Very strongly.

    So I find now that even though I'd feel a lot better with a good cry to get things out of my system - I just can't do it. Even though I'm no longer trying to hide behind a male mask.

    Anyone else have this problem? As a CD, can you let go of your emotions any easier? Or does that not go away? Can you weep for others? For yourself? Do you find any difference in this based on how you are dressed?

    Paula (the emotionless robot)

  2. #2
    Addicted to pantyhose Sabrina69's Avatar
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    Not for me, Ill shed plenty of tears dressed or not, if its something really sad.... Like a sad part in a movie. I also think, men should not be so afraid of it. My father is, his attitude is a man should not cry, especially in front of a woman, makes us look weak. That is the old thinking, as I believe, REAL men can and do cry. I xdress to relax, It just puts me so much more at ease, but as for my emotions, they seem about the same. However, I am less likely to get angry while I am in fem.

  3. #3
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    I can and do cry for others maybe at a movie I will.
    Myself not so much.

  4. #4
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    Being totally in touch with all of my feelings, I don't have any negative things to cry about Hon. I do, however, cry over sentimental things, loss of a loved one and something that touches my heart and makes me really happy.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  5. #5
    Junior Member StephanieCD21's Avatar
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    Crying is definitely not a problem. I cannot even get through movies or TV shows without the water works going into full swing. Stress at work pushes me over the edge frequently. I have a hard time hiding the fact that I am crying or about to cry.

  6. #6
    Junior Member Norah_joy's Avatar
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    Paula, thank you for raising such an interesting question. Now that I think about it, I do remember being called a cry baby when I was very young. I don't remember ever being punished for crying too much, but I remember deciding that I might have more friends if I wasn't viewed as being a cry baby. As an adult, the tears will flow so easily at a movie, certain stories on the news, and at funerals. But I don't shed tears for myself. I will admit, quite proudly, that I cried at both my son's and my daughter's weddings. I'm not sure of it, but I don't think my wife did. Norah

  7. #7
    GG / SO to a CD MatildaJ.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PaulaQ View Post
    I find that I can weep for others - that is pretty easy.
    Do you ever cry at tearjerker movies? If so, maybe you could put one on, and then let the tears flow. Might help!

  8. #8
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    I have tears well up, oftem, and, i am sad modt of the time, as i see the world in so much suffering, but seldom sob or cry. At some movies, sob some, and when a friend dies, but, especially when a dear pet dies, or is killed. One of my few girlfriends killed herself, and i cried a lot. Another died of cancer, i hardly knew, but cried very hard, and a dear older basketball buddy father figure died, and i cried several times hard, then. When my 92 1/2 yr old tyrant father dies, i will cry, but be relieved. Men do have trouble crying, out of shame. Some women cry a lot, but some don't cry much at all, seem more like men that way.

  9. #9
    Girl from the Eagles Nest reb.femme's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PaulaQ View Post
    .........My Dad would tell me "don't cry or I'll give you something to cry about!".........
    My Dad was a spoilt, only child (his Mum's words) and ones with which I concur. He really was an emotion free zone and it was the line in the quote that resonated with me. He used those words exactly, but never followed up like your Dad! He was most often the cause of the tears, the miserable bar steward (keeping it clean).

    I can cry for Britain whether dressed or not, always have and always will, for me or for whoever. I have all the emotion for me, Dad and more. I cry most for the loss of others , especially family, and I've seen a few of those in the last upmteen years!

    Sounds like you've had a hard life. Emotionless robot? No, just conditioned into a protective mode borne of instinct IMHO. Hope that doesn't sound patronising, as that is not my intention.

    Rebecca
    Flying high under the spell of life!

    http://www.rebsweb.co.uk

  10. #10
    Sigh, I always knew Christina Kay's Avatar
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    Interesting topic. I well up at times , to things I can relate to emotionally. Or a movie that strikes a chord,( 6 people you meet in heaven). My wife and i were bawling at that one.The only movie to do that too us. Really lost it , when putting my dog to sleep. Done that to many times over the years. Welling up now thinking about them. I think I tend to well up more than my wife. But it's been a lifetime thing with me. Don't understand why. hugs.
    Follow your path.. For only you can decide, which way to go.

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    Silver Member LilSissyStevie's Avatar
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    It's all I ever do. Click my tagline and let it out! Go ahead, you'll feel better.

  12. #12
    Junior Member SexySarah0727's Avatar
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    After years of being told crying is for wimps and men don't cry and all that I had a really hard time crying. As said before most of this came from my Dad trying to "toughen me up" and make me a proper man... so much for that lol.

    There were times when I was so upset and wanted to cry and just couldn't. I could not only not cry for myself, but I couldn't cry for others. I would feel the emotions, but no matter how strong they were no tears would come.

    There's only one thing I found that's changed that at all for me, but it's not a legal substance and I don't want to get banned since the guidelines state that "Use/sale of illicit drugs and drug paraphernalia or condoning any other illegal activity." is against forum rules. I don't suggest or condone what I did as okay and don't want to overstep and say too much.

    That being said, since introducing the substance to my system (last time I did was about 6 months ago now) I can actually cry when something emotional happens. Even if i'm listening to a song or watching a movie that tugs on the heart strings. At most I use to just get a lump in my throat and that would be it, but now I actually cry.

    I can still hold it back and suppress the tears if I really want to, but it's freeing being able to cry again.

  13. #13
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    @Stevie - I will have to pick up that recording, I love Purcell.

    Back @ you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYELAu9hqdU

    Sorry for the OT. Sometimes weepy music is nice though!

  14. #14
    Complex Lolita...
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    Quote Originally Posted by PaulaQ
    Can you cry? I find that I can weep for others - that is pretty easy. I really care about other people. But my ability to cry for myself - I just can't do it.
    Yes, I can cry. I cry when the transsexuals lug their viewpoints over into the MtF section and transpose them over whatever is being discussed, as if only THEIR opinion matters, changing the course of a thread and ruining the proceedings. Just sayin’…

  15. #15
    Member Emjay's Avatar
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    Interesting question, as others have already said. I personally didn't have a male "father figure" in my life until I was around 13 when my mom married my stepfather. Who I now very proudly call my dad. He is the one who has been and continues to be there for me and has always been everything I wanted to be for my own daughter. He isn't the "tough guy" type, not that he can't be or whatever, he's just........ cool. Always has been.

    Anyway, I've never really had much trouble crying at just about anything and everything that sparks a strong emotional reaction. But for me? I honestly can't say that I ever have. I have for others, at movies, watching the news sometimes lol... But no, I can't think of any particular instance where I cried "for me".

  16. #16
    Pink and Quirky FeliciaCDSNJ's Avatar
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    I try to but truly can't cry. I don't know what my problem is but no matter the situation I cannot cry.

  17. #17
    Senior Member robindee36's Avatar
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    Have yet to shed tears dressed. Came really close after the last purge, but that behavior has been corrected.

    In drab, I have been known to tear up during a movie, particularly tragic romances. Go figure!

    Hugs, Robin

  18. #18
    Junior Member Lady Mandy's Avatar
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    Unhappy Cant do it! . . .

    Quote Originally Posted by PaulaQ View Post
    "don't cry or I'll give you something to cry about!"
    Hi Paula! I've heard this many times myself, but that's not what did it for me. I have always been very emotional myself & no, I can't cry hardly at all - I've even scoured the internet as to why & haven't really found a suitable answer. I'm thinking that something "happened" about 15 years ago when I was in a deep depression (losing my 2nd marriage) & I cried nearly constantly. After all was said & done there, I noticed that I seemingly couldn't cry when something upset me like I had most all my life! I know that crying is something we are supposed to do - it is an emotion & we should be able to feel & express it - but I just can't! I WANT TO, but can't seem to let loose & do it!

    Will be interesting to read more responses here!

    Hugs! Mandy.
    Man bag??? . . . No silly, its a purse!

  19. #19
    Member VS Fan's Avatar
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    I can't MAKE myself cry, even though it would be VERY therapeutic i'm sure (I've tried)... however being a parent, all I have to do is watch a movie with a tender (or sad/tragic) moment between a parent and their child, and it's all over. Luckily my wife is afflicted with this same "condition" LOL, so we have a good cry together during these scenes. Not sure how much of this has to do with my "sensitive side" and how much is just being a parent, but I suspect there are more "macho" dads that still wouldn't be effected by these scenes as much, so there it is...

  20. #20
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    I am an emotional person. I cry at weddings and funerals, romantic and/or tragic movies and books if I get invested in the characters, certain songs, and of course when I get dumped. I'll even tear up a bit when I hear random news that excites me for whatever reason (most recently, I found myself and my friends on Google Street View and this happened). I'm also really good at hiding it. I've stood up for numerous weddings where I've started to cry during the service and no one noticed.

    I've never cried whilst dressed, though if I was ever given cause to, I would probably still try to stifle it. Wouldn't want to ruin my makeup, ya know.

  21. #21
    Member Barbara Maria's Avatar
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    Any of us in the 50+ age group were raised in the mentality that men don't cry,PERIOD.My dad is the best man ever and never hit me unless I really had it coming(in those days it was called discipline).I've always been a crier,ever since I can remember,but I always hid it because I didn't want him to be ashamed of me.I cry now more than ever,and usually I don't even know why.It usually comes after I've been in an emotional funk for a while,some little thing will set it off and I'll cry uncontolably.I don't have to hide it from anyone any more,and when it starts I just let go.afterwards I feel much better.

  22. #22
    Aspiring Member Megan Thomas's Avatar
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    Before I transitioned I'd rarely cry, if ever, and emotions were never displayed. However, HRT enabled the emotions to flood out and tears come all too easily now. I'm learning to control them more now but it's been a long haul...

  23. #23
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Paula,
    I still get emotional and cry.

    Megan,
    This one I blame on the hormones,
    I think it is a feminine trait and I know when I was on them I was emotional and cried more easily.
    Even now I do cry sometimes.
    Keep up the good work.
    Last edited by Beverley Sims; 09-13-2013 at 09:59 PM.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  24. #24
    Member lynnef's Avatar
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    I often cry while listening to music (not even vocal/singing music, but strangely - some trance/hardstyle/dubstep (!) can make me cry if i really listen to it... being dressed doesn't seem to make much difference... but in real life it seems very hard for me to cry

  25. #25
    A Lucky Girl Kim_Bitzflick's Avatar
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    Normally I don't cry, but lately I find that I do lean a lot more toward crying. I cried at my dad's funeral 8 years ago. I started to cry at the movie "Tangled" when the lead man "died".

    So the answer is yes.
    Kim

    "I just gotta be me"

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