Can you cry?

[PaulaQ]

I find that I can weep for others - that is pretty easy. I really care about other people. But my ability to cry for myself - I just can't do it. It was literally beaten out of me as a kid. My Dad would tell me "don't cry or I'll give you something to cry about!" (And he and Mr. Belt meant it!) The children's hospital where I spent much of my youth, shall we say, discouraged negative emotions, such as sadness, homesickness, or pain. They discouraged these strongly. Very strongly.

So I find now that even though I'd feel a lot better with a good cry to get things out of my system - I just can't do it. Even though I'm no longer trying to hide behind a male mask.

Anyone else have this problem? As a CD, can you let go of your emotions any easier? Or does that not go away? Can you weep for others? For yourself? Do you find any difference in this based on how you are dressed?

Paula (the emotionless robot)

[Sabrina69]

Not for me, Ill shed plenty of tears dressed or not, if its something really sad.... Like a sad part in a movie. I also think, men should not be so afraid of it. My father is, his attitude is a man should not cry, especially in front of a woman, makes us look weak. That is the old thinking, as I believe, REAL men can and do cry. I xdress to relax, It just puts me so much more at ease, but as for my emotions, they seem about the same. However, I am less likely to get angry while I am in fem.

[Tracii G]

I can and do cry for others maybe at a movie I will.
Myself not so much.

[Kate Simmons]

Being totally in touch with all of my feelings, I don't have any negative things to cry about Hon. I do, however, cry over sentimental things, loss of a loved one and something that touches my heart and makes me really happy.

[Norah_joy]

Paula, thank you for raising such an interesting question. Now that I think about it, I do remember being called a cry baby when I was very young. I don't remember ever being punished for crying too much, but I remember deciding that I might have more friends if I wasn't viewed as being a cry baby. As an adult, the tears will flow so easily at a movie, certain stories on the news, and at funerals. But I don't shed tears for myself. I will admit, quite proudly, that I cried at both my son's and my daughter's weddings. I'm not sure of it, but I don't think my wife did. Norah

[Druscilla Supernovae]

I can make myself cry rather easily. I just think about my dog I lost in 08 at the age of 16.5 years.

[NicoleScott]

Is crying some sort of self-validating feminine quality? Really?

[Ressie]

Yeah, I don't see what this has to do with crossdressing really.

Crying for myself would have to be because I feel sorry for myself to the point of depression. I'll have to admit this has happened to me at times in my life, but I know that it's not a good frame of mind to be in. Having a pity party is a waste of time unless it leads to a realization that changes are needed, and you'll commit to taking action to make those changes.

Crying brought on by a Country song or sad movie - yep I do this.

[Kim_Bitzflick]

Normally I don't cry, but lately I find that I do lean a lot more toward crying. I cried at my dad's funeral 8 years ago. I started to cry at the movie "Tangled" when the lead man "died".

So the answer is yes.

[Stacey Summer]

It's an interesting question. And I'll give you an answer to ponder. What degree of crying?

I can cry certainly. The videos on the Welcome Home Blog never cease to make my eyes water and recently I cried a bit over a personal matter but it was only a bit. The last time I did what I consier to be REAL crying was 12 years ago. You know, proper soul cleansing stuff. My fiance had just broken up with me and I was completely shattered. Went to see my dad and the first thing I did was curl up in his arms and sob. It's a bit embarrassing that I was 18 at the time but I was close to my dad back then.

I haven't been able to do that since. I think when I rebuilt myself after that I did too good a job on the foundations.

[StephanieCD21]

Crying is definitely not a problem. I cannot even get through movies or TV shows without the water works going into full swing. Stress at work pushes me over the edge frequently. I have a hard time hiding the fact that I am crying or about to cry.

[MatildaJ.]

I find that I can weep for others - that is pretty easy.

Do you ever cry at tearjerker movies? If so, maybe you could put one on, and then let the tears flow. Might help!

[Alice Torn]

I have tears well up, oftem, and, i am sad modt of the time, as i see the world in so much suffering, but seldom sob or cry. At some movies, sob some, and when a friend dies, but, especially when a dear pet dies, or is killed. One of my few girlfriends killed herself, and i cried a lot. Another died of cancer, i hardly knew, but cried very hard, and a dear older basketball buddy father figure died, and i cried several times hard, then. When my 92 1/2 yr old tyrant father dies, i will cry, but be relieved. Men do have trouble crying, out of shame. Some women cry a lot, but some don't cry much at all, seem more like men that way.

[Christina Kay]

Interesting topic. I well up at times , to things I can relate to emotionally. Or a movie that strikes a chord,( 6 people you meet in heaven). My wife and i were bawling at that one.The only movie to do that too us. Really lost it , when putting my dog to sleep. Done that to many times over the years. Welling up now thinking about them. I think I tend to well up more than my wife. But it's been a lifetime thing with me. Don't understand why. hugs.

[LilSissyStevie]

It's all I ever do. Click my tagline and let it out! Go ahead, you'll feel better.

[SexySarah0727]

After years of being told crying is for wimps and men don't cry and all that I had a really hard time crying. As said before most of this came from my Dad trying to "toughen me up" and make me a proper man... so much for that lol.

There were times when I was so upset and wanted to cry and just couldn't. I could not only not cry for myself, but I couldn't cry for others. I would feel the emotions, but no matter how strong they were no tears would come.

There's only one thing I found that's changed that at all for me, but it's not a legal substance and I don't want to get banned since the guidelines state that "Use/sale of illicit drugs and drug paraphernalia or condoning any other illegal activity." is against forum rules. I don't suggest or condone what I did as okay and don't want to overstep and say too much.

That being said, since introducing the substance to my system (last time I did was about 6 months ago now) I can actually cry when something emotional happens. Even if i'm listening to a song or watching a movie that tugs on the heart strings. At most I use to just get a lump in my throat and that would be it, but now I actually cry.

I can still hold it back and suppress the tears if I really want to, but it's freeing being able to cry again.

[PaulaQ]

@Stevie - I will have to pick up that recording, I love Purcell.

Back @ you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYELAu9hqdU

Sorry for the OT. Sometimes weepy music is nice though!

[Stevie]

I only cry when it affects my inner circle. I must admit though my feminine side is very emotional. Maybe dressing can be therapeutic for me.

[reb.femme]

.........My Dad would tell me "don't cry or I'll give you something to cry about!".........

My Dad was a spoilt, only child (his Mum's words) and ones with which I concur. He really was an emotion free zone and it was the line in the quote that resonated with me. He used those words exactly, but never followed up like your Dad! He was most often the cause of the tears, the miserable bar steward (keeping it clean).

I can cry for Britain whether dressed or not, always have and always will, for me or for whoever. I have all the emotion for me, Dad and more. I cry most for the loss of others , especially family, and I've seen a few of those in the last upmteen years!

Sounds like you've had a hard life. Emotionless robot? No, just conditioned into a protective mode borne of instinct IMHO. Hope that doesn't sound patronising, as that is not my intention.

Rebecca

[Emjay]

Interesting question, as others have already said. I personally didn't have a male "father figure" in my life until I was around 13 when my mom married my stepfather. Who I now very proudly call my dad. He is the one who has been and continues to be there for me and has always been everything I wanted to be for my own daughter. He isn't the "tough guy" type, not that he can't be or whatever, he's just........ cool. Always has been.

Anyway, I've never really had much trouble crying at just about anything and everything that sparks a strong emotional reaction. But for me? I honestly can't say that I ever have. I have for others, at movies, watching the news sometimes lol... But no, I can't think of any particular instance where I cried "for me".

[Aly Cat]

Sadly, I don't cry. There are plenty of times when I want to but the tears never come. I'm sure I would feel better if I did, but it doesnt matter if its physical or emotional pain, my eyes stay dry. For the most part, I am pretty numb inside (which I know is not a good thing). The only time I can recall crying in the last 5 years or so was actually recently when I was playing my cello to some very emotional music and right in the middle, I lost it. Heavy, body wracking sobs. It was pretty crazy. But before that time and since, I have had plenty of opportunities but the tears aren't there. I'm sure one day, they will all catch up to me and I'll cry for a very long time.

[suchacutie]

Before we knew about Tina I admit that I was often embarrassed when my eyes would become noticeably wet when there would be some situation in a movie or in a conversation that is to me sentimental. Now that we understand Tina it's clear which part of me is controlling under that circumstance.

Somehow my male self can now control my emotions better in male mode.

[Soriya]

Yes I can cry a lot and often do very easily such as when it comes to others sorrows and watching emotional things on TV. I work in a Hospital and often have to turn the other way or walk much faster past families that are upset. I am like a sponge when it comes to others emotions but as I have gotten older and buried my own emotions down even further I have found it difficult to cry regarding myself.

[FeliciaCDSNJ]

I try to but truly can't cry. I don't know what my problem is but no matter the situation I cannot cry.

[vallerie lacy]

Felicia even when you get a run in your best stockings