Can you cry?

[flatlander_48]

I can always tell when I feel like crying because my nose plugs up. Many times I feel that even though I may not actually cry. Some things just touch me, I guess.

Some years back, Microsoft ran a contest for grade school kids (I don't remember what the specific age group was). If you won, your school got free computers I think; something like that. The students had to complete this sentence:

The most powerful computer in the world would let me....

The winning entry was:

...see the world through someone else's eyes.

EVERY TIME, without fail, when I see that it just resonates because that's the kind of world I would like to live in. It means I would feel someone else's triumphs and sorrows as they would feel mine. We are not here for a minute and that's it. We forget that, in part, we are here to experience. Once we have that experience, we carry it with us where ever we go; it is a part of us, it changes us, it is how we evolve.

[sometimes_miss]

Can I? Yes. Do I? No. Never in front of ANYONE. Period. This topic has been brought up over and over again in other online forums over the years, as well as on tv talk shows; and every time the same answer eventually comes out; they feel that guys who really bawl aren't able to control themselves, it makes them feel insecure and they're not comfortable with it. The only time we're allowed to cry is at a parent's, brother's, sister's, or child's death. And briefly; a few tears are fine, but no sobbing or crying out loud, ever. That's it. Crying over anything else is verboten. Otherwise, women seem to think it's ok for other people, but not their man. It's the same old NIMBY thing. OK for others, but they want nothing to do with it. Sort of like crossdressing.

[Chiana]

In my adult years, the only time I remember crying for myself was when my Mom passed away. For the most part, I just don't cry for myself. But otherwise, I can have the tears flowing at almost anything. I can go to a wedding of people I don't even know and I'll cry. Funerals are horrible for me even if I am not that close to the person. I went to a funeral of a young co-worker. He had committed suicide. I had very little contact with him at work and no contact with him away from the job but I was bawling like a baby. I imagine that raised a few eyebrows. At movies, I am a mess. I went to see the "Sex And The City" movie with a lady friend and she had to keep giving me tissues. Some ladies a few rows in front of us noticed me and kept turning around to look at me. I cried watching the movie "Rudy"! My emotions can be so close to the surface that I cried today when Jim Furyk shot a 59 in a golf tournament. What's up with that?

[Druscilla Supernovae]

I can make myself cry rather easily. I just think about my dog I lost in 08 at the age of 16.5 years.

[NicoleScott]

Is crying some sort of self-validating feminine quality? Really?

[Ressie]

Yeah, I don't see what this has to do with crossdressing really.

Crying for myself would have to be because I feel sorry for myself to the point of depression. I'll have to admit this has happened to me at times in my life, but I know that it's not a good frame of mind to be in. Having a pity party is a waste of time unless it leads to a realization that changes are needed, and you'll commit to taking action to make those changes.

Crying brought on by a Country song or sad movie - yep I do this.

[Paulette]

Increase your E level and crying is easy, all you have to do is watch a sad movie or think about a situation where you have an emotional connection. Years are very therapeutic .

[PaulaQ]

I appreciate everyone's honest and heartfelt replies. I was really sad about my relationship, or lack thereof, with my wife. I'd really like to cry about this - but I just can't cry right now. My wife takes this for indifference.

Many of us were socialized that men don't cry. So I was curious how that worked out for a group who can break other taboos. Anyway y'all are special and I appreciate your responses.

[SophieKitty]

I have no problem crying in either boy or girl mode. I also have an extreme empathetic ability to feel exactly what someone else feels in a room. Sometimes it's more of a curse.

[vallerie lacy]

Felicia even when you get a run in your best stockings

[Stevie]

I only cry when it affects my inner circle. I must admit though my feminine side is very emotional. Maybe dressing can be therapeutic for me.

[Rachel Morley]

Omg.. crying is so super easy for me. It always has been all my life. In fact, before I embraced my feminine side it used to be a fairly serious problem as I would cry over the almost anything. Like when I was really sad (say I got dumped) when I was really happy (when my wife said she would marry me, yes I cried my eyes out when my wife said "yes") then things like tear jerker movies, I'm an absolute baby. I used to kinda joke about my "sensitive nature" but now I have embraced my feminine side it happens less and when it does I embrace that too as I do all of me.

[Connief]

Yes, I cry. A romantic movie, sadness that happened to a friend, being dumped all will do it. Not so easy when there are guys around. You know how it is, got to play the role of man or else. Things that effect my grown children will sometimes get a tear when they are not around. Sharing some more intimate (no, not sexual) details about something with a lady friend can choke me up, bring a tear or 3. One of the things I have "thrown away" from the growing up days is guys don't cry. BS! They are allowed emotion just as much as any woman is! Ask my brother, he crys like a real baby. Its also a way for the body to relieve stress from emotional issues.

Go ahead and cry, its okay, its healthy.

[NicoleScott]

Many of us were socialized that men don't cry.

How about the flip side: girls/women socialized that they can/should/do cry. It's sad that too many people cry when they shouldn't and don't cry when they should.

[Aly Cat]

Sadly, I don't cry. There are plenty of times when I want to but the tears never come. I'm sure I would feel better if I did, but it doesnt matter if its physical or emotional pain, my eyes stay dry. For the most part, I am pretty numb inside (which I know is not a good thing). The only time I can recall crying in the last 5 years or so was actually recently when I was playing my cello to some very emotional music and right in the middle, I lost it. Heavy, body wracking sobs. It was pretty crazy. But before that time and since, I have had plenty of opportunities but the tears aren't there. I'm sure one day, they will all catch up to me and I'll cry for a very long time.

[suchacutie]

Before we knew about Tina I admit that I was often embarrassed when my eyes would become noticeably wet when there would be some situation in a movie or in a conversation that is to me sentimental. Now that we understand Tina it's clear which part of me is controlling under that circumstance.

Somehow my male self can now control my emotions better in male mode.

[Soriya]

Yes I can cry a lot and often do very easily such as when it comes to others sorrows and watching emotional things on TV. I work in a Hospital and often have to turn the other way or walk much faster past families that are upset. I am like a sponge when it comes to others emotions but as I have gotten older and buried my own emotions down even further I have found it difficult to cry regarding myself.

[TheMissus]

I grew up with the 'stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about' spiel. I now struggle to show emotion without feeling bad. My sister can't cry at all.

I imagine all men would cry more if they weren't repeatedly told they shouldn't.

[Stacey Summer]

It's an interesting question. And I'll give you an answer to ponder. What degree of crying?

I can cry certainly. The videos on the Welcome Home Blog never cease to make my eyes water and recently I cried a bit over a personal matter but it was only a bit. The last time I did what I consier to be REAL crying was 12 years ago. You know, proper soul cleansing stuff. My fiance had just broken up with me and I was completely shattered. Went to see my dad and the first thing I did was curl up in his arms and sob. It's a bit embarrassing that I was 18 at the time but I was close to my dad back then.

I haven't been able to do that since. I think when I rebuilt myself after that I did too good a job on the foundations.

[arbon]

Up until about 16 I was a cry baby, very sensitive and emotional. Then it kinda shut off, maybe because I was getting into heavy drinking or because testosterone had done its deal, but I was pretty closed down to emotion and crying until I started hrt. With hrt it did loosen it up, much more depth of emotion, feelings, can laugh really hard and cry again.

It will be interesting to see how it affects you, Paula, over the next couple years.

[Ressie]

One thing that brings a tear to my eye is thinking about relationships I had that ended, and how alone I've been for nearly 10 years.

[Tina_gm]

I am learning to cry more. My wife actually wants me to cry more. She personally does not view it as girly or feminine for someone to cry when they are hurt emotionally. She feels it is the best way for someone to express those feelings. (with some reservation in public of course) I, like many others have been brought up to be expected not to cry in all but the most saddest of situations. And, I am finding that the more I am able to cry, the better I can release feelings of sadness, or any type of past emotional pain. I still have a ways to go, but I am getting there.