In the end what do I really want?

[Kate Simmons]

Many of us are to the point where we are more or less fearless going out en femme and many of us have gotten to the point where interaction with others is not a problem either. Other folks are either unaware of who we really are or are aware and don't have a problem with it.

That having been said, what do you really want after you go out and successfully pass and interact as a woman? Do you want to go further and actually become a woman with or without transitioning, or are you content simply becoming a part time gal? If all responsibilities and encumbrances were removed from your life, would you proceed to transition without hesitation or do you still enjoy being a man too much?

Even though I enjoy dressing, I now make it an occasional thing, even though I really have nothing to hold me back from doing it full time. For the first time in my life I'm enjoying being a man who can express his feminine feelings any time he chooses. What do you really want from this?

[dandy]

I think your final statement hits the nail on the head:

I'm enjoying being a man who can express his feminine feelings any time he chooses.

That's my end game: sometimes I want to feel pretty and delicate, sometimes I don't. Honestly, the end game for me would be bringing it all together, to the point where I could bring the two worlds together - matching a pair of mary janes with business casual khakis. It seems to me that'd be my ideal, blurring the lines between genderized clothes to reflect the way I feel 100% of the time as opposed to fully splitting the two worlds all the time.

[SophieKitty]

All I want is to have a happy life

[Chari]

Hoping that others will understand and accept me for enjoying all of my feelings, no matter what I was wearing.

[kimdl93]

Too many questions, really! I'll pick two. first, yes, I do really want to go out and interact as a woman. Notice I omitted "pass", because I think that's asking too much....blend in, sure. Pass...not so much.

Second, yes I want to eventually live as a woman, but do not anticipate surgery or HRT. I expect, however, that some circumstances of my life will continue to require me to present as male from time to time. I don't particularly "enjoy" being a man, I enjoy being a person. Being a man is more of an occasional obligation.

[Lorileah]

I have slid into living as a woman and I don't want to go back. In fact I was very uncomfortable the other night when I had to be a guy. It felt unnatural.

[docrobbysherry]

I can do everything u mentioned, Kate.

Except pass as a female. And that, my friend, is the Golden Fleece of crossdressing!

[Juliea661]

I think I'm exactly where you are Kate. I enjoy being able to live in both worlds, although the majority is as a male. But like you, now, even when I live and present as a male (90% of the time) I can naturally and comfortably show my softer side. A week ago I had the opportunity to dress for five straight days. Honestly by the fifth day, although I had a blast (posted with pic about a week ago), I decided not to dress. Why? Not sure. But presenting as a women is a lot of work. And also there were some enjoyable fun guys things that I wanted to do before my wife returned.
Anyway, my thoughts.... :-)
Hugs, Jules

[Marcelle]

Hi Kate,

I can't speak to much as I have only ventured out twice. Once went well but it was only a walk with my wife down a dirt road in the middle of nowhere. The second time not so well.

I enjoy being a guy and doing guy things as a guy. Could I enjoy them en femme, probably but I like that part of me as a guy. Going out (even the bad experience) was intoxicating to say the least. I really had a good time being able to openly express a feminine side and just be girly. Would male mode enjoy that . . . not likely.

I guess I am at point where I like to keep the two separate and allow them to express themselves in either guise. Besides, the best I could ever hope for is to "blend" and that is a stretch even on a good day.

So to bottle the genie . . . Like living as a man who likes to dress like a woman from time to time.

Hugs

Isha

[nethiker55]

I agree with you final statement and wish I were there, but alas I am not.

[DDee]

Kate ,Well I'm not at the point of going out but that being said I would love to try. I love dressing up and enjoy being a man . I do feel really relaxed and stress free when I dress its just so relaxing .

DDee

[wilma]

I'm right where i want to be, dressing when I want, going out dressed but knowing I don't pass. I'm not fooling anyone especially myself, I dress fem but not over the top. I have a loving and supportive wife that makes all the difference. Wilma..

[Michelle789]

I would like to first get out of the house once and interact as a woman publicly. I don't have any marriage or kids responsibilities, but I have a lot of fear to overcome.

[Beverley Sims]

I do a lot of what you say in the last paragraph.

[Gillian Gigs]

I liked what Sophiekitty had to say, "All I want is to have a happy life".
The problem is that happiness is a state of mind, rather than an action, or deed. I guess if a particular type of clothing helps you get into the correct state of mind to be happy, then what is the big deal.
For myself, in the end what do I really want, I would say to have the freedom to wear whatever I wanted without anyone really getting "bent" out of shape about it. An example being, a bra fitting to my own natural cup size, cami, guy t-shirt, panties, skirt, pantyhose, with comfortable walking shoes. Yea, just a guy wearing whatever he wanted, no attempt to pass, no attempt to be anything other than being me!

[Michelle (Oz)]

I'm to the point of 'femme and fearless interacting with others' (there's always qualifications depending on circumstances) out dressed around 4 days a week. Don't really pass and enjoy wearing skirts too short to blend.

Would I prefer to be full time female? Transforming to female (always a full transformation) is just too hard and time consuming. Being male is just so much easier plus a necessary compromise with my wife. So therefore I have no interest in transitioning and it would be a hell of a lot of work and $ if I did.

There are several things though that I would love to do. Main one is to lose the facial hair. That would make switching between male and female so much easier.

[Stevie]

I enjoy dressing like a woman and I also am happy as a male. I can't go out and even if I can I'm not comfortable with it. In the end I just want my wife to accept me for me so I don't have to hide anymore.

[Ashley_K]

Hi Kate! You know, I was wanting to start a thread about this topic when I first joined the forum. Gosh, I wish I knew the answer! I get worried sometimes that it's a slippery slope. If you read my post from yesterday where I went shopping and tried on clothes in the store for the first time--my word! Last week, I wouldn't have thought I'd do that. Now all of a sudden, I have an urge to actually try my hand at passing one day. Where did that come from? I've always been really concerned about getting caught and ruining my family, career, and friendships (and if I ever become a public figure again). I still am concerned about getting caught, and that's why I'm a bit surprised that I got so bold yesterday. I know I don't want to fully transition, because 80% of the time, I'm perfectly happy being a guy! But that other 20% of the time can be really intense. I think that's why I joined this forum in the first place to see what might/could/should/shouldn't happen. Whatever happens, I hope that others will see me as a good, thoughtful, caring person who is fun to be around. And if they ever find out I'm a CD, they'll be understanding of this inexplicable need to express this side of me. I guess it shouldn't necessarily be about what other people think of it, but we all need support in our lives.

If you find out what the answer is (is the answer 42?), let me know! Maybe it's just the journey

~Ashley

[AmyGaleRT]

Kate, my ultimate goals are twofold. First, to be able to function well in society both as a man and as a woman, so either half of me can "dominate" as suits my needs and desires. And second, to use the experiences of both halves of my soul to make me a better person overall. Transitioning to full womanhood would, in a way, be as much of a hindrance to those goals as would abandoning my femmeself entirely.

- Amy

[JamieTG]

I've never put goals or a timetable on any of this. I guess my biggest desire is to stop thinking something is wrong with me or that this makes me a bad person, so I can have a healthy self esteem for once. Growing up in the 50's and 60's society drilled a lot of bad attitudes into my head that are hard to change. Cognitive therapy has helped but I don't know if I'll ever totally accept and embrace myself.

[jillleanne]

In an ideal world, I don't think I want anything. I, like you , express my feminine side whenever I wish at will without thought. Would I transition? No idea, haven't yet. I guess I would need a reason to do so and I don't have one. I love who I am at present, in my present situation. If something changes in the future, I'll change along with it I'm sure.

[Nikki A.]

I don't want to transition since I enjoy being a male and being female. I guess I'm one of the fearless ones (maybe even fool hardy). For this I blame you LOL.

[Angiemead12]

Im with you on this, I try to tie it all together and see what I want in the end but I cant seem to work it out yet!

[Ally 2112]

I myself would just like to be able to pass fully in public as a women and a man .I think that would make me happiest at the moment

[NathalieX66]

I feel like I have accomplished the role of duality that I always wanted to be. I can go male or female in the public eye any time I want to. There really is no more frontier for me.

If I feel I want to take it further after I retire from my job, then I'll take it to the next step.