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Thread: So... do you really think you're fooling everyone?

  1. #1
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    So... do you really think you're fooling everyone?

    This is for all MTF's including TS members no matter what you label yourself as.

    We learn early on to hide our gender non conformity because we know much of the general population are not all that accepting yet. So we try and hide it from everybody and/or overcompensate so people won't catch on. Even if you're out to everybody now I'm sure you've tried to hide your gender "issues" at some point.

    So do you think you fooled everybody so far? How did you hide "it" or overcompensate?

    GG's did you notice something "different" about your SO before they came out to you? What were your first thoughts and questions when told?
    Last edited by Marleena; 09-18-2013 at 03:02 PM.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Suzanne F's Avatar
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    Yes I fooled many people and even myself. I think my female friends always knew something was a little different. Now that I am out to my wife and several other people the over compensating has been reduced. Suzanne is coming out more and more. My wife pointed this out last night and I had no idea that I had been femenine in any way. I hope to just be me!
    Hugs
    Suzanne

  3. #3
    closet dresser Melissa73's Avatar
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    yes fooled many people. when people at work found me out, they admitted they never thought i was into cding. And then, my soon to be ex wife, also never saw this coming! i withheld it from her b4 we married, and 1 month before we separated, i confessed to her. she too even though she would say i was like a woman... she honestly never thought of me as cding... just emotional person

  4. #4
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    I pretty much fooled everybody. Especially myself. When I finally admitted this to myself, I was sure that I hadn't fooled anyone, and that everyone must've seen through my mask. Nope. Everyone I've come out to has been shocked, even people who've known me >30 years. My wife had not a clue.

    In my introductory thread to the forum, I said that I was a liar. I had no idea how true that really was at the time...

  5. #5
    ADMINISTRATOR Sandra's Avatar
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    Marleena I had no idea, all though after Nigella told me things clicked into place, there was hints but I was that naive I just didn't catch on, this of course was when she was presenting as a cder. The first time I saw her dressed was the same night she told me, my reaction was well I laughed then I cried. We sat and talked and yes I came up with the usual questions, was she gay, was I not enough for her, why did she like to do this.

    Now as for what progressed, I had an idea that there was more to her than what she was letting on and had an idea long before she accepted herself as TS. Not going to go into any more detail as you are aslking about MtF's and this may take your thread of topic
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sandra View Post
    Now as for what progressed, I had an idea that there was more to her than what she was letting on and had an idea long before she accepted herself as TS. Not going to go into any more detail as you are aslking about MtF's and this may take your thread of topic
    Sandra I'm trying to include the TS members too. It is on topic and thanks.

  7. #7
    Senior Member robindee36's Avatar
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    Not fooling everyone. Even with a stellar makeup job I retain certain masculine features. Guess it would take HRT, FFS and a whole lot of other alphabet treatments to fool everybody. But then, my goal is not to fool them only to enjoy my explorations of femininity. Just being the best Tgirl I can (and as cute as possible

    In drab, I doubt anyone suspects my feminine nature. But that is my perspective from here in the closet.

    Hugs, Robin

  8. #8
    AKA Bobbie nethiker55's Avatar
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    Most people yes everybody no. In drab am very male. I tend to be dominant, gruff. I work with computers and electronics. I work on cars and machinery. I ride a motorcycle and am not at all emotional.
    My SO is aware of my penchant for panties and skirts as I wear silk bikinis made for men and sometimes wear a kilt

  9. #9
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    I need to reply to my own question

    I'll reply and butt out to let this this thread take it's own course. Thanks in advance.

    I thought I was good at fooling everybody but looking back I was kinda obvious. My own mom hinted that I might be gay. My younger sister found a pair of panties in my room and I just played dumb on how they got there.

    As I got older I had problems with the girls, I was super shy and scared of sex, now I know why. So they probably thought I was gay.

    Then I joined gangs to prove I was macho even though the older guys protected me. I use to worry if I wiggled when I walked or swung my arms too much.lol.

    So yeah, always overcompensating or trying harder to prove I was a guy if people got suspicious. I think everybody was catching on that I was "different". It's still ongoing as I asked my wife last year if she thought I was "different" when she met me and the answer was yes but she couldn't put her finger on it.

  10. #10
    Valley Girl Michelle789's Avatar
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    I'm confused as to whether I've fooled anyone or not. People have dropped hints all my life suggesting I'm a girl, gay, or crossdresser. I have been called all three by friends, acquaintances, and co-workers. So I think people suspect something.

    On the other hand, there are a few people who always thought of me as a man's man. My parents wondered if i was gay when I was younger, but today seem convinced I'm a typical stoical guy. In recent months, people view me more increasingly as a guy (they could be completely in denial though), and drop more hints of me being a man's man than anything (which I really resent).

    It's even harder to tell because "with every joke there's a bit of truth" but at the same time people just say so much nonsense there's no way of telling for sure...people can be very sarcastic and facetious. I actually feel like if I were to come out to anyone, whether they're shocked I'm a CD or expected it, might literally depend on their mood or what phase the moon is in.

    Edit: People's reactions are rarely, if ever, what you expect them to be. I find if I expect a certain reaction, I might get something completely different, and it might be the opposite of what I expected, or something in the middle.

    Edit: I think sometimes it isn't the physical signs of a CD or TS, but rather some behavior or attitude cues, or even just a feeling. We all give off vibes and sometimes, something of our feminine nature can shine through.

    Edit: I also had a tough time dating girls and getting past the "friend zone". I have lots of female friends though, about half of my inner circle of friends are male and half are female, interestingly enough.

    Last edited by Michelle789; 09-18-2013 at 08:21 PM.

  11. #11
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    I didn't notice anything different about my SO, even though s/he has long hair. Long hair tied at the nape was popular when I was a teenager and I still do not think it is odd for creative sorts to wear it that way.

    At the time, my SO did not have any other feminine gender cues like eyebrow thinning and shaping, arm hair clipping, leg shaving, fingernail growing and shaping, or pierced ears. Any combination of these subtle clues can add up to the point where an onlooker notices there is something different about this person. He will simply not look like the average male who does none of those things. Now that I know the signs, I'm pretty sure I can spot CDers in male mode when I see them. Prior to this I would have taken it they were either gay and/or Drag Queens out of costume.

    As for mannerisms such as the feminine way that some genetic males walk, sit, cross legs, etc, I know a man like this who is not a CD or trans in any way. Nor is he gay, although I thought he was when I first met him. So likely the opinions would be divided although I think that most strangers would suspect homosexuality since transpersons are simply not as visible in our society.
    Reine

  12. #12
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    I was considered to be faultless for a time in my early 20s.
    I was like a lot of the younger ones who present here.
    As a male I was a slightly built blue eyed blonde boy, almost effeminate looking.
    As a girl I was a blonde bombshell. I really was proud of myself and could strut my stuff then.
    Gone to the pack now.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  13. #13
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    Based on who I am, spiritually and morally, I don't think anyone would suspect I was a cross dresser. I had the little boy crushes on a girl or two. I played all kind of street games and sports. I always wanted to dress as all the other boys.

    Getting caught or someone suspecting something because the lingerie was out of place really does not count. Getting caught doing the deed is not really being suspected without any hints. Back in the 1950's and 1960's being gay was asking to being excommunicated from the human race. I do not ever recall seeing an effeminate male until the mid 1970's. I never saw a "butch" female, although I knew some women were lesbians because of the way they acted out, i.e. open displays of affection with another woman.

  14. #14
    Platinum Member Karren Hutton's Avatar
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    My wife says I'm a chameleon ..... changing into what people think I'm supposed to be......
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    Junior Member Lady Mandy's Avatar
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    Some may have a hunch . . .

    As best as I can tell, my friends & work acquaintances (when I was working & in a rather "manly" job), had no clue that I dressed. A few close friends (females) knew I liked female things because I was open about that with them. My parents might have a slight hunch, but don't know everything - they know I wear feminine jewelery & carry a purse with my stuff in it . . . The only time I had what I would even consider having a close call was one day years ago at work. I was doing something and was in a crouching & bent over position, & I'm POSITIVE that one of the guys I was working with got a GOOD shot of my panties - when it occurred to me that he was behind me & I knew my panties were showing, I turned around & he was smiling (that "knowing" smile). He didn't say anything to me, but I'm sure he told others that I was wearing them. . . Didn't really bother me though!
    Man bag??? . . . No silly, its a purse!

  16. #16
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    I really do not know if I fooled anyone. I know I went to great lengths to gravitate to super macho activities and work - perhaps I was fooling myself?

    My wife guessed something was wrong before I finally came out to her but she though I had some combat stress. When I came out to my younger sister just recently, she said she would not have guessed. The only other person who knows is a close friend (psychologist) whom I discussed gender identity with and she said she would not have guessed.

    So, I think I may have been able to fool others, but I don't think I was fooling myself.

    Hugs

    Isha

  17. #17
    Transgender Member Dianne S's Avatar
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    I "fool" everybody by your measure. In my male mode, I don't think anyone has the slightest suspicion that I crossdress. Of the three people I've come out to so far who know me in male mode, every one of them has expressed great surprise upon finding out. Oh, and I don't do it by over-compensating. As a male, I'm not the slightest bit interested in sports or cars. I'm not particularly handy or good with mechanical things and I don't act macho. I just don't have feminine mannerisms or look feminine in any way when I'm in guy mode.

  18. #18
    Silver Member Tina_gm's Avatar
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    I have and still do fool many I suppose.... But there are times where I have slipped and said or done something that has given away something. Perhaps not that anyone would think I am a cd'er, but that I have a bit of femininity about me.
    Chickens should be allowed to cross the road without having their motives questioned

  19. #19
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    At different times in my life maybe

    When I was young one uncle used to always tease me by calling my suzy and I did not fit in with boys at all

    Jr high and high school, into early 20's, lots of people thought I was gay. There were even a couple people that knew I sometimes wore womens cloths.

    In adulthood I kept a very tight lid on it, and even though a lot of people thought there was something off about me I don't think anyone suspected I was TS. I did have one old girlfriend say "well that explains a few things" when she found out.

    My mom suspected I was gay, my wife to. But being TS shocked them, and most everyone else I think

  20. #20
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    I didn't "fool" anyone. I am a dude. I love sports. Love physical activity. In every way, shape, and form, I'm a guy on the "more manly" end of the spectrum. No one would ever guess I am a cross dresser. Never. Not a hint of it and not because I "fool" people. I am what I am.

  21. #21
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    I don't care if I fool anyone. I dress for my own enjoyment. I don't try to guess if I fool anyone or not.

  22. #22
    Member Rileyaz's Avatar
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    The only time I had what I would even consider having a close call was one day years ago at work. I was doing something and was in a crouching & bent over position, & I'm POSITIVE that one of the guys I was working with got a GOOD shot of my panties - when it occurred to me that he was behind me & I knew my panties were showing, I turned around & he was smiling (that "knowing" smile). He didn't say anything to me, but I'm sure he told others that I was wearing them. . . Didn't really bother me though! [/QUOTE]

    I had one time where a guy asked if I was wearing panties. I smiled and said " ohhh yeah!"

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenniferathome View Post
    I didn't "fool" anyone. I am a dude. I love sports. Love physical activity. In every way, shape, and form, I'm a guy on the "more manly" end of the spectrum. No one would ever guess I am a cross dresser. Never. Not a hint of it and not because I "fool" people. I am what I am.
    Sheesh I feel like you bit my head off there! Okay so you've never hid you were a Cder to anybody, even your mom? Yes I agree you're a man but you look pretty feminine there. Do you feel insulted by the question? It's about hiding the fact we're (MTF's) too..

  24. #24
    Silver Member LilSissyStevie's Avatar
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    I don't think that trans(whatever) is on anybody's radar. That's only something that happens to other people on TV (no pun intended.) It's not the first thing that people think if you appear to them to be a little effeminate. So even though I would openly play with dolls with my sisters and would rather jump rope with them than play with the boys down the street, my mother just blamed it on not having any male influence around since my dad was always locked up somewhere. When my dad finally disappeared for good, my mom would hook up with these ultra-masculine dudes in hopes that they would be a positive manly influence on me. I despised them. So the "gay" cloud has always followed me around. A psychiatrist once told me flat out that I was a "latent homosexual." I'm still latent 40+ years later. Maybe he was just trying to hit on me. LOL! My first wife's favorite epithet for me was "faggot" and she had no idea that I ever CDed. I personally don't see what they see. I see myself as hopelessly masculine. I just don't feel that way.

  25. #25
    Administrator Tamara Croft's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marleena View Post
    Sheesh I feel like you bit my head off there!
    HE did... full blooded male that one

    My fella, you would never know in a million years when I first met him. Very short army cut hair, muscular etc... so yeah, that one came as a shock when he told me, but then again, little things did make more sense His mum did think he was gay, never had a proper relationship until he met me... People at his office make funny suggestions about things and they always say, not our 'namehere', he's all man.... lol... they have no idea
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