I don't how the heck I insulted anybody with this thread Tamara and thanks for your reply. Ah well.
I'm not trying to insult anybody here.
I don't how the heck I insulted anybody with this thread Tamara and thanks for your reply. Ah well.
I'm not trying to insult anybody here.
Last edited by Marleena; 09-18-2013 at 05:14 PM.
You didn't insult anyone, people just are just like that... take no noticetestosterone overload at its' finest
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Missing my Libra babe Sherlyn, I hope she's rocking up there with the angels
Missing our Rianna, doesn't seem right, gone to early, hope she's partying with Sherlyn
Kind of sensitive there, Marleena. I rarely agree with Jennifer, but I saw no head-biting in her post. And I could have written what she wrote: I am a guy, like being a guy and doing guy things, and see no need to overcompensate or fool anyone. My activities and demeanor are genuinely my guy self. I just like to dress up occasionally. Not all of us have "gender issues".
Originally Posted by Karren Hutton
OMG! I had a conversation about the subject with my wife (for once, she actually listened), and I mentioned to her that I felt that I had been like a chameleon my whole life. Assuming the role of whatever it was people were expecting. Kind of refreshing to hear that from another person.
Before you can love another, you must first like yourself
I Aim To Misbehave
Labels belong on BOXES, not PEOPLE!
Good question. No, I did fool some of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but not all of the people all of the time. (apologies to A Lincoln's ghost!) I did grow proficient in hiding (or denial) of interests and behaviors that betrayed my non-conformity. But it slipped through...i was too nurturing to a infant nephew when I was 8 years old...and my aunts just couldn't stop talking about how good I was with the baby. I wasn't sure what I was, but I was sure I'd outed myself that time. I did all the guy stuff...had a cowboy hat and leather fringed jacket, rode horses, took care of livestock and worked in the fields, played football, basketball and baseball. And later in life, I got crap for throwing like a girl and walking funny...or having a cute wiggle, according to my first wife. Even in the Army, a guy found out my real name was Kimberly and said, you would have made a pretty girl. I was mortified...hoped he was joking.
Not so many years ago, a GG friend and co-worker commented that "you're just like one of the girls" and gave me the nickname of Marta...I guess Kimberly wasn't femme enough. When I came out to her a few months back, she said, "You're still the same person you've always been - just with cuter outfits!"
It's a good question and a fresh topic. But I don't think I was trying to fool anyone either even though I've never cared for sports very much. I've always been one of the guys for the most part and I doubt any of them detected that I wore bra and panties at home once in a while. As far as macho activity, I got into a few fights in school because I was rather small and got picked on. As a teen I always had a bigger guy as a best friend which might have unconsciously been for protection. I've worked factory and construction jobs and never felt like I was a sissy trying to fit into a man's world. But to this day I feel I can be myself more around women than I can around men.
I don't know if I fooled anyone. I was always considered "different". Even to this day. I did like sports but mostly to watch. I tried in vain to not fight so I did get bullied all through jr and sr high. I also found that I could relate to GG more than males and found conversing with them easy. My wife has forbid me from talking to some GG but I just find them to be excellent conversationalists. And it isn't all about sports, cars, beer or how stupid/annoying/whatever else thier wives make them do.
Maybe.. and I do apologize if I took it wrong. As for gender issues we all have them to some degree as technically we're doing things outside of the expected gender norms based on our anatomy. We are here on this forum because we all are "different". I tried to include everybody here. I definitely don't want to piss people off and expected it to be a harmless thread which it is and was (I hope). I find it hard to believe that anybody here at some point wasn't hiding the fact they are different or at least embarrassed by it. Now I'll disappear like I promised.
I was never very "manly" and I sometimes pushed things a bit with the clothes I wore and hair length, but no one really noticed anything like what I am. Yes I had tough times when dating because most girls very quickly decided I was more friend material than boyfriend material. I grew up smaller and weaker but most just thought I was a wuss. Everyone knew I liked girls and wondering if someone is TS or a cd is pretty much off the scope for most people, they never even think about that much less consider it a possibility.
I knew I was different on so many levels so I tended to be a bit antisocial I guess. My kids thought of me as a better mom than their real mom was, and I did all the domestic stuff around the home. Cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids, checking homework, decorating, shopping, etc...and absolutely hated yard work, fixing cars or watching most sports. I do love football though.
So yeah everyone knew I was "different" but have been shocked to learn that I am TS.
All I ever wanted was to be a girl. Is that really asking too much?
OMG yes, fooled them all.
Growing up I played Soccer in the fall, Basketball in the winter and ran track in the spring as a kid and later for my high school teams. I also played league Hockey and baseball, just never for my school teams. I lifted weights, learned to use tools and defend myself. It was actually a ton of fun. But I was able to fool myself for a long while too so it wasn't really acting, just being natural.
Since I started dressing regularly but still privately, hiding it has gotten more difficult but I don't think anyone is 'on to me.'
I over compensate when in drab,,,,,,,,but then it fluxes the other way enfemme and I over compensate the compensation,,,so I guess it balances out
"it all unfolds before your eyes ,let Merlin cast his spell" [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
I really don't know if I fooled anyone. On the day I had enough not being me, I started dressing as a woman. I just didn't give a damn what others thought or said. I came and went like everyone else.
"I just didn't give a damn what others thought or said."
"it all unfolds before your eyes ,let Merlin cast his spell" [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
+1. That's about the last thing that comes to mind for most people.
I don't know if anyone was ever fooled. Maybe people are just too nice to ever say anything to my face. I never (totally) fooled my wife because she is a very intuitive person. When I confessed after many years of marriage, she admitted a feeling that something was a little "special" about me. Perhaps like some other SO's, she was confused at first because of her unfamiliarity with transgenderism. That happened years ago and it has yet caused a heated discussion. As I am proud to tell others, she is my personal fashion consultant is darn good at it! Here is the bottom line - I may be a "little special" but make no mistake, I am first and foremost, her main squeeze.
For all of these years, I never tried to overcompensate. On the other hand, I never tried to flaunt "it" to any extreme. I'm fairly comfortable with my position along the TG spectrum. So there is no reason for me to go overboard.
Babette
Someone else's imagination is a terrible thing to waste.
I know that I don't fit into the "man's man" mold, and I am told that my car, pocket knife, ect..... are girls things by a couple guys at work. I haven't advertised that I am tg and no one has accused me of being tg, but I am seen as some one who is different they just can't say define the way I am different.
Kelly
You ARE Loved.
You BELONG in this World.
I don't try to fool nyone, including myself, I just live as I feel, which has been been enfemme for 24/7 for a number of years.
Fulfilling a Lifetime Dream of Living as a Woman in My Adult Years.Ten Years Living 24/7 as a Mature Lady
My Love of Cat's Eye Frames, Bangles, Red Lipstick, Nails, & Cheeks, Comes From My Mother - An Irish Beauty
I'm Always Rainbow Proud
I was so successful in being a "guy" that it took us (my wife and me) 34 years to realized Tina existed. To date it's just the two of us who know, and no one else has a clue. If they were ever to find out about Tina there would be a few people in coronary distress!!
Of course I've had those moments Marleena, and I have them more now that I've been buying more and dressing more in the last few years. If my brother or any of my guy friends walk into my bedroom and peak in my closet there won't be any way to explain it or lie about it. I'll be caught! So that thought is in the back of my mind all the time now. Plus my personality is probably getting more fem than it was during most of my life.I find it hard to believe that anybody here at some point wasn't hiding the fact they are different or at least embarrassed by it.
What about this scenario? You're with a small group of friends and someone brings up crossdressing and if one of them looks closely at your face, they'll know they struck a chord! At this point do you say nothing? Do you go along with them and laugh at the CD joke? Do you give up the charade and blurt out the truth? Of course, the smart thing to do is to remain calm in order to fool them IMHO.
So far, so good. But then, I'm pretty good at making sure I don't leave any clues out for anyone to pick up on. Plus, I don't have any female mannerisms to be observed. As I back further into the closet, I close the doors behind me, and lock 'em shut.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Marleena, I never meant to imply I have never been embarrassed by being a little different. I felt that way for years. Now I embrace it.
Someone else's imagination is a terrible thing to waste.
The world of commercial fishing is not a kind one[think Deadliest Catch,Perfect Storm,etc]. I am aware that I have been the subject of many a galley table discussion on other boats. However,I was[retired to shore..mostly] a big producer,no one died and very few injuries and mishaps,in 35 years of worldwide fishing.So,most people[crew and family] tended to overlook my strangeness,and trust me for their safety and income. I never set out to "fool" anyone,it just happened as I suppressed my inner self. But I am ashore now,so I can be true to me all the time.
It SURE is my hair ! I have the receipt and the box it came in !
Hi Marlenna, good to see you back on the boards
I think I am fooling a whole bunch of people myself. I know I have tell tales, no hair on my legs, really short arm hair, knowledge about this or that which I probably shouldn't know much about but no one has asked directly so I have never had to answer. My SO though knew which is why I think our "talk" went a lot smother than what I thought it was going too.
Flip Flops were made for Beaches & Bath Houses, We have neither in 2017. Lose the flip flops!
I don't have to try to fool anyone, Marleena. If I told any of my long time friends I dress? They wouldn't believe me!
As it is, the family members I've told have no idea what Sherry looks like. I'm sure they imagine me trying on pantyhose and heels when I'm all alone. Maybe with a wig and a long, loose, grannie robe? Ha ha ha! I love it!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
I think some people are protected by the vessel they live within.
If someone has certain physical features that are associated with being a man such as a beard or a "masculine" facial structure or just shear physical size they can use this as part of their mask to hide behind.
If you already have feminine features such as large eyes or delicate facial features it becomes almost impossible to hide unless you do something extreme such as shaving your head and allowing whatever facial hair you have grow.
This becomes a source of great internal conflict for a transgender to intentionally "masculinize" their outward appearance because it increases the powerful and relentless pull toward the identity that wants to do the opposite.
By physically masculinizing yourself you are "uncreating yourself" just as the "act" does.
It is incredible for better or worse how much the vessel we live in shapes peoples perceptions.
I do think that crossdressing is an act of rebellion for the "men" that do it.
I would think that most healthy, thinking, feeling men must find the societal and cultural expectations place on men to "be men" as defined by the culture to be oppressive and it does not surprise me that men die earlier than women.
Crossdressing could actually work like a safety valve to reduce this relentless pressure to live up to this "image" extending a man's life and increasing the chances of him experiencing good health.
I'm always amazed when I see men willingly embrace these expectations because I would think they sacrifice far more than they could ever hope to gain.
I think I understand why they do it but I still think it is dangerous to their well being.
Last edited by KellyJameson; 09-18-2013 at 08:41 PM.
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