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Thread: Halloween is not your salvation

  1. #1
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    Halloween is not your salvation

    It's that time of year again and the Halloween threads are starting. For the lurkers and newbies, I offer this advice.

    I know there are some, perhaps many, who think Halloween is a perfect chance to dress publicly as a female of some sort and yet stay closeted. Wrong. You are kidding yourself if you think that anyone will consider it just a costume.

    100% of your friends and strangers (even kids on the candy hunt) will think you are a closet cross dresser or more likely gay. Unless you dress Monty Python-esque and in a group, an obvious joke (and even then it is a close call), you will not get the benefit of the doubt. Men just do not dress as women.

    So, dress as you like and have fun but suck it up and realize what it means. If you honestly think it will be perceived as a costume, don't do it. It's not a costume, it's a statement.

  2. #2
    Transgender Member Dianne S's Avatar
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    Funny, but I've never really been much into Halloween. Where I grew up as a kid, Halloween wasn't celebrated. Only when we moved to Canada was I exposed to it, and by then I was a bit old to have good kid memories of it. As an adult, I actively dislike Halloween... I hate the constant interruptions from kids trying to extort candy. I usually go out or turn off most lights and pretend I'm not home.

    I agree with Jenniferathome: If you crossdress on Halloween, people will be suspicious. You're basically outing yourself.

  3. #3
    Junior Member Dannigurlfriend's Avatar
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    You it's odd but I have never even considered dressing on Halloween. But I would agree that getting dressed and using the holiday as a way of going out most likely isn't the best idea.
    “All men are liars, said Roberta Muldoon, who knew this was true because she had once been a man.”
    ― John Irving, The World According to Garp

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    Member tiffanyjo89's Avatar
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    I actually think you bring a valid point up, but I think it depends on how seriously you've done costumes in the past, if you've done guy's costumes.

    If you are a person who goes to conventions and participates in the cosplay community, then being a girl (in a girl costume, not just a "everyday girl") on Halloween with shaved legs, serious makeup, and other things is normal. If you are an otherwise "average Jo/e" who is the type to buy a costume off the shelf and put it on the first time the night of a party, then you probably would draw attention to yourself if you show up in a skirt and have your legs shaved.
    I'm a guy who likes girls, I just like a little more about them than the average guy.

  5. #5
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    I disagree 100%. 'Normal' guys do not dress up as women. Ever. Not even as jokes. And unless they're professional swimmers, NO GUYS shave their legs. As kids, when we played football and taped our ankles for extra support, a lot of us shaved up to the knee, but that was it. NO FURTHER. And we let it grow back right after football season. There will be some professional actors who try it to see if they can 'get away with it', or maybe to see just how good their acting talents are, but there's no way 99% of them will ever pass. And we don't, either.
    If you want to be out, be out. But don't kid yourself that you're fooling anyone.....other than yourself, of course.
    Last edited by Tamara Croft; 09-19-2013 at 03:30 PM. Reason: you do not need to quote the previous post, read the rules
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  6. #6
    Member Christie Camelle's Avatar
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    From my experience, this is not always the case. Like Tiffany said, it also depends on your past costumes. I have been Freddie Krueger in the past (complete with clothes that smelled burned), the Joker (perfect Heath Ledger scars), and the 7-Up Spot. Everyone I know knows that I plan Halloween costumes a year in advance. I dressed en femme last year. No costume. It was a hit and no issues or questions from anyone except "wow" and "how did you do that?" I had zero problems from strangers. It was amazing. It's Halloween, not confession. Relax and have fun with it!
    ” I'm hell on heels, say what you will ”

  7. #7
    Gold Member NicoleScott's Avatar
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    I partially agree. It's easier to get away with it if you dress as a female character than as "a woman". Then, it's just a costume, not an excuse for CDer to dress up. Fine line, most likely. Shaving the legs "for authenticity" is a hard sell.

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    Aspiring Member vallerie lacy's Avatar
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    Even an attorney will tell you, if you can get an answer without a retainer, that dressing up "a la drag" for Halloween is only circumstantial evidence in the case of John Doe vs crossdresser Lori Ann. If you have the wish to go out dressed, than screw those who label you. You're dressing for Halloween not xmas dinner at Aunt Sylvia's. Have a good time and remember to let any smart ass remarks roll off you as water rolls off a ducks freshly waxed bill or beak or ass.

  9. #9
    Member tiffanyjo89's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sometimes_miss View Post
    'Normal' guys do not dress up as women.
    Yes, 'normal' guys don't.
    But the people I was referring to are the ones who go to things like Comic Con and spend hours and days designing costumes. Many people do genderswapped versions of the costumes, and there are people who do full on cross-gendered costumes.

    Like I said, it's up to the person in this case. Most people don't put that much effort into costumes, so they would definitely attract attention putting together even a slightly passable presentation. For those who are known to put effort into buying just the right things for a costume (I'm not doing Spock unless I can find the right color for my shirt and make the ears look just right) then going full on as a girl, wearing a girl's costume (not normal girls clothes) could work. For those (and this is probably about 75-85% of people) who would just buy those cheap vampire teeth and just have a black cape to be Dracula, but nothing else, except for maybe a layer of white makeup to take the color out of their face), then yes, you would definitely attract attention.
    I'm a guy who likes girls, I just like a little more about them than the average guy.

  10. #10
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    your really ruining it for a lot of people.

  11. #11
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    If you want to dress up for Halloween by all means do it.
    Head Executive Chief of the Dept of Redundancy Dept.

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    Quote Originally Posted by arbon View Post
    your really ruining it for a lot of people.
    Yep, reality bites. But if you are prepared, the bite is not as bad.

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    I like to go out on Halloween, as a regular guy, to see how all the GG's are dressed and maybe get some ideas.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenniferathome
    100% of your friends and strangers (even kids on the candy hunt) will think you are a closet cross dresser or more likely gay. Unless you dress Monty Python-esque and in a group, an obvious joke (and even then it is a close call), you will not get the benefit of the doubt. Men just do not dress as women.
    I know two guys, neither of them CD's, who have dressed up as women quite convincingly for Halloween. Nobody assumed they were CD's. One of them was one of my kids. At this point, since I'm out to him, I'm reasonably confident he'd have told me "whew! me too!" were it the case that he was a CD.

    I'd like to point out to everyone in this thread that nobody can read your mind. I'm sure there are things you can do that will give it away - but if you have a woman friend or spouse who you can say helped you do the look and makeup, people will just take it as "great costume!" If you go into a five minute spiel on how you achieved your beard coverage and the shades of eye shadow you used, then sure, they might suspect something.

    Again - mind reading - doesn't happen.

  15. #15
    member stacycoral's Avatar
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    Last year when I purchased my school girl outfit at DR. Johns, the SA told me that they have a lot of men coming in to purchase girl costume for Halloween party around the panhandle area, one thing most and I wil say most women get a kick out of it on Halloween, and will want to talk to you about how it feels to being dress as a woman, or ask how long did it take you to get ready for the event. yes there is always some that well look at you strange, but just remind them it Halloween, and part of the fun is surprising people who would have never thought to see you dress for a holiday like this, and there is always those you can't see pass the cookie cutter what a male should act like, YEs you might take a chance but to see the laugh and joy that you can share on just because your brave enough to be in the world as a girl, special wearing acostume is better than just dressing as a everyday woman, have fun hugs.
    [SIZE="3"][/SIZE][SIZE="3"]Stacy Lynn Coral[/SIZE]

  16. #16
    Aspiring Member Ms. Laura's Avatar
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    I agree with you to a point. I mean if I were to dress up as Laura, yeah, it would be outing myself to the more savvy. Thing is, crossdressers are not really in people's consciousness. They'll seek to categorize you as a goofball because it's an easier intuitive leap. If you're a recognizable character, like Marilyn Monroe or something, I don't think you'd be outing yourself. In 2 weeks, everyone would move on from it, I think. Just being a "sexy cop" as a female would be weird enough to get you noticed though. Costume selection is key.

    Myself, being a character is fun, but isn't crossdressing. It isn't an expression of "Lauraness" it's about making people laugh because people LOVE laughing at guys in dresses! Fact of life.
    "I want you all to call me Loretta." - The Life of Brian

  17. #17
    Silver Member SherriePall's Avatar
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    This is why I don't dress on Halloween. Usually the day before or the day after. That way if I am read, they will say, "Ah, isn't Halloween tomorrow (or yesterday or whenever)?"
    BTW, no one who I have not already come out to (i.e., mostly SA's), sees me dressed around Halloween. No work place costumes.
    Sherrie Lynn Pall

    Sometimes I make sense and that frightens me.

    Please don't let me be the last post on this thread

  18. #18
    Addicted to pantyhose Sabrina69's Avatar
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    I agree and do not agree with the OP and some of the other negative comments.... If you wear a costume, things are less likely to be a problem. In my case, I have been a witch 4 of the last 5 years, and dress my motorcycle up as a witches broom, and the SO rides on the back as either a black cat or another witch and it’s a huge hit. I also keep my legs shaved, but in the case of the costume, no one even asked about that. I am in the biker community as well, and other bikers I know shave their legs, arms, chest, head or whatever they want, no one asks questions as to why, we are who we are and it’s no one’s business or no one cares who is shaving what. I get wild at times and for the women chanting my name (not on Halloween) I been encouraged to strip for the ladies and I do, no one ever asks why I shave my legs or my "equipment". Yes, I do have a very wild side to me...

    The last party I was at, before I had my first beer, I had to show the ladies my new "man view" mesh undies, complete with my shaved legs... again, it’s fun, no one questions it. Maybe it helps I carry myself in a very masculine way normally, complete with a heavy Brooklyn accent, facial hair and tats.

    On Halloween I even will make fun of myself, in one contest I won, I had everyone laughing as I mention I should win, my pantyhose are so tight the boys are split in an east and west direction. - LOL. The person I beat had a way better costume, but my humor and because I was in a female costume, obviously had a huge advantage. This was a party after the one at the biker bar, so, I do nto stop at one party. Other years, we bar hopped after the main party is over at 11pm. No one, anywhere ever bothered me about it....

    The very first year I did it, I had on black tights. One women, who I know asked me, “what are you wearing under the dress”. I replied, “tights”, she said, “besides that”, I said “just tights”, so she said, “so you have tights on your thingie”, I said yeah and it feels good” well, we all laughed and we went on with the night having fun. I turned what many would feel is a potential embarrassing situation, into a funny one and no one cared after that. Now, if I would have got quiet or acted scared, that would have been BAD and be outed perhaps. You must show you are comfortable and act yourself.

    so, my costume (latest version, it gets changed up some each time).... It’s a black "goth" dress, knee length and I show lots of leg. I took white pantyhose and dyed them green to match my green face and put on black fishnets over the pantyhose. My legs are shaved (I shave my face for the costume) and a few of the women get a kick out of the fact I have on pantyhose. Hell, I even gave a great photo op of my dresses hiked up and my "male-ness" in full view under the hosiery.... What happens, lots of laughs and fun, and many women taking pictures. lol. My shoes, to keep it a tad less feminine are simple closed toe Aresoles, and a modest 3" heel.

    Now, my SO wants me to dress as just a woman, but this is where I agree with the OP... That is very different. I do think, going as a "woman" would raise more suspicion among your friends. However, you SO, if you have one, can also be your cover and she can say "I made him do it" or "I won a bet we had and got to pick his costume". I did tell her, I will but only if we do NOT go to the friends party, and maybe a large club or a gay bar, where things are more liberal. Remember, your SO, if you have one, can help with cover, you can be a hooker, she can be a pimp, you can be a bride, her a groom, you can be a housewife, her the husband, you can be Dorothy and she can be Scarecrow, you the mother, her the baby... I can go on and on.

    My witch has become more a tradition, so its expected now... but yes, if I did change it to "plain woman" or another female costume, it may draw more suspicion.

    Other thoughts:
    1. Leave your female persona and voice at home, be a guy looking good.
    2. If you have a SO, have her help as per some of my suggestions
    3. Go to a Gay bar or club if you want a more liberal place to be girl..
    4. do not use breast forms, use tissue instead...
    5. GET DRUNK and HAVE FUN!!!

    My last tip and the most important one… Be comfortable in your sexuality, that’s the main compliment I get from the ladies. Also, for you singles, this is also a GREAT way to find CD friendly women or men, if that’s what you prefer. Do you want me to tell you how much I got groped by a few at a different party? Some women get REALLY turned on by either you in drag or just the fact, you were man enough (comfortable in your sexuality) to do it.

    In the end, I carry myself in a way that no one would probably think I would do this at home, in private which I am sure helps… If you act nervous, or not yourself, I am sure others will get suspicious. In my case, its all been a great bit of fun… and I am doing it at a large party, at a biker bar that’s popular for 1% MC’s to hang out.

    To the OP, it’s not as bad as you make it sound, so please do not ruin the dreams of others looking to break out, in public…. It can be done right.

    Trust me, it’s not that scary..... Man up and be a girl!

    This may be the last year I do witch, we are looking at doing Sith Lord costumes, we are both huge Star Wars fans and play SWTOR MMO as well. I have yet to decide if I will be male or female, she definitely wants to be a female. I just hate to be a guy on Halloween, but for this, I may just be male. Her and I are talking about maybe going to Fantasy Fest in the FL Keys as well (for future Halloween getaways), and I understand, I can dress female that entire event. It would be cool to be a girl for a week, and its not likely we would know anyone there anyway.
    Last edited by Sabrina69; 09-19-2013 at 03:12 PM.

  19. #19
    Hi, I'm Ria xdressed's Avatar
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    Here's a video of me from last Halloween http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIDdmUpyMUQ

    I was like that most of the day, and I have since come out to nearly everyone from the party that I already knew and none of them suspected anything because of it. There were even photos on facebook, and while several friends did make a few jokes at my expense, no one has ever actually said anything or brought it up since then. People might wonder but they forget soon enough if they have no other reason to think about it.
    Bi-Gendered, Goth/Metal Fan, Atheist, Artist and British

  20. #20
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    I have to disagree with this absolute premise that if one dresses 100% of friends and strangers will think that. I dressed completely as a normal woman with friends and co-workers wives assistance in 1980 long before Allie was ever an obvious idea in my mind. The husband of one of the wives also dressed up as a woman more sexy style for the same company costume party. He even shaved off his mustache! I can't say what others were thinking and neither can you Jennifer. We can guess and maybe get very close to the fact, but we really can't say what others may think. No one I knew at that time ever made comments about wither of us dressing as women. I have known other males who have done this and no one ever made comments about them. Where I come from, the Mid-West, we like to have fun and sometimes get a bit kooky or wild on the innocent side. So, dressing as a monster, women, Peter Pan or a pregnant nun was acceptable and funny and always seemed to bring out those, "Now why didn't I think of that cool costume" type of questions from the party goers. It was fun and no one read more into it than necessary.

    Now, no one did the MtF costumes on a regular basis and we were far from having the expertise and available supplies, etc. that we have today to be able to perfect our look. So, we probably really did look like amateurs having fun and nothing else.

    I do not disagree that if a man dresses as a woman someone may think that the look is too good, the mannerisms to real for that person to be really dressing that way for the first time. However, to state that most, or as you stated, 100%, would think that way is 100% incorrect! To caution us that some may get read more than they want to, i.e. that their dressing may be more than just for a party, is fine. The key word is "may". Life is made up of a lot of maybe's and not all absolutes, besides death and taxes.

    Happy dressing folks and the sky is not falling.
    Last edited by Tamara Croft; 09-19-2013 at 03:31 PM. Reason: don't quote first posts, next time it will be deleted

  21. #21
    New Member AprilCross's Avatar
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    I never got any negative feedback when I dressed up for halloween. I had a big circle of friends and out of them at least 2 or 3 guys would dress up just for a funny Halloween costume. The generation I live in I guess is just more accepting.

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenniferathome View Post
    I know there are some, perhaps many, who think Halloween is a perfect chance to dress publicly as a female of some sort and yet stay closeted. Wrong. You are kidding yourself if you think that anyone will consider it just a costume.

    100% of your friends and strangers (even kids on the candy hunt) will think you are a closet cross dresser or more likely gay. Unless you dress Monty Python-esque and in a group, an obvious joke (and even then it is a close call), you will not get the benefit of the doubt. Men just do not dress as women.
    I think how it is perceived, depends on the era and the country/locality. Implying that it will be harshly and intolerantly judged, is a second and unrelated point, and that again depends on the era and country/locality. It also depends on where it is done, the venue, and when, in the morning or noon hour, versus in the evening or at dinner time. It can be simply a whole lot of fun that practically nobody would take seriously, if you get away with it.


    There is an element of truth in what you say, but not totally. Some men have been known to dress as a woman, as a prank, and crash or attend a serious and non-costume party. In my era, I don't think there were all that many boys who had not tried to dress as a girl when the opportunity presented itself, and not always on Halloween. Though that is hard to authenticate as to exact percentage, I would think of it s a right of passage for guys who never turn out to be cross-dressers, transgendered or gay. Guys thought of it and treated it as like a dare, and bragged about it after, as proof they were audacious.
    Last edited by Beth-Lock; 09-19-2013 at 01:26 PM.

  23. #23
    Complex Lolita...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenniferathome
    So, dress as you like and have fun but suck it up and realize what it means. If you honestly think it will be perceived as a costume, don't do it. It's not a costume, it's a statement.
    Well, don’t you think that the CHILDREN are making a “statement” as well? What do you think Halloween is all about, anyway? You dress up according to your wishes, desires, or particular bent, unless you have ZERO imagination and are in it purely for the candy. Halloween is for imaginative fun-seekers (of all ages), damn the censorious torpedoes and FULL SPEED AHEAD...

    BTW, I haven’t gone out on Halloween since the 6th grade, and I was pushing it then, but I will be admiring everyone’s costume on Halloween again this year, and making no inferences, regardless…

  24. #24
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    About 11 or 12 years ago my wife suggested that I get dressed to hand out the candy to the trick or treaters. There is no way I could ever pass, no matter how real or naturally I dressed, and back in those days I had never shaved my legs. Everyone who saw me had a good laugh at my "costume", and no one ever said anything about CDing or asked any such questions. About 4 or 5 teenagers showed up at the door at the same time (not in costume). All were boys except for one girl. The boys all laughed and one asked if those were real. The girl, who had sat down in a chair by the door, said "you should have shaved your legs". Over the next few days, a few neighbours who had not seen me, mentioned to me that they heard what I had done and wished they had seen me. They said I would have to dress up again the next year.

    The next year I did dress again and everyone was quite jovial about it, but the element of surprise was missing. Afterward I wondered if people were starting to wonder if there was more to it than simply a costume. The third year, I decided to try to dress up in more of a costume, using an old white peignoir set that my wife loaned to me to try to make myself look like a female angel. The reaction was about the same as the second year. The number of kids coming around was dropping off and we were barely getting more than about 7 or 8, as they were getting older and the nearby churches and schools were beginning to hold community shell out nights for the safety of the young ones.

    I decided to not dress up after that because of the small number of callers and my concerns about any vibes I was giving out that I actually was a crossdresser. A few neighbours mentioned that I wasn't in costume and seemed a bit disappointed. The past few years, we have not bothered with Halloween, turning off the lights or going out somewhere. Last year, we were in Salem Massachusetts and it is fascinating to see everyone wandering around the town in great costumes. We were on a cruise, and I had no feminine clothing with me, so I could only watch. I do not remember seeing any crossdressed "costumes", but it was in the afternoon that we were there.

    I don't think that wearing a female costume or being crossdressed at Halloween necessarily sends a message to others that you do this all the time. Even if your image is well done, it doesn't say anything more than that you had some good help. I think that most people assume that a female costume on a man requires some "womanly" help to get it right. If you dress up repeatedly each year among the same group of people, then some might begin to question but I think that most are discrete enough to keep it to themselves. After all it is Halloween and they are probably in some ridiculous costume as well. If you want to have a daring night out of your closet, Halloween is probably your best opportunity. Just bear in mind the usual safety precautions.

    Veronica

  25. #25
    Silver Member Tina_gm's Avatar
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    I don't know if simply dressing up as a woman would be a give away, but how good you are at it.... how good you can walk in heels, shaving or showing shaved legs etc etc, that is what would likely tip people off.
    Chickens should be allowed to cross the road without having their motives questioned

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