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Thread: Halloween is not your salvation

  1. #51
    Junior Member
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    Coming out to my friends is actually kind of the plan this year. A small gathering at my place with my closest friends and me in yet another obscure comic book character. Except this time, it's a female obscure comic book character.

  2. #52
    girly girl
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    Good luck Msora. I know it will go great for you!

  3. #53
    Just A Girl Sarah Welch's Avatar
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    Many years ago, I used the night as a chance to sort of come out to family and close friends. The acceptance level and my courage were greatly enhanced IMHO, it really did help get the ball rolling in my case.
    The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. When you trade in your reality for a role. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask.

    We are buried beneath the weight of information,
    which is being confused with knowledge;
    quantity is being confused with abundance
    and wealth with happiness.
    We are monkeys with money and guns.

  4. #54
    not quite silver yet Emma Leigh's Avatar
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    Totally disagree.....in my experience most men will dress in public as a woman at any oppurtunity....I think all men are actually closet CDers....ironically as a Cder I dont

  5. #55
    Gold Member ~Joanne~'s Avatar
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    I disagree all the way around. I refuse to believe this at all. Halloween is the perfect time for a closeted girl to test the waters. If nothing else, just to get out of the house for a bit. Personally I go out a few days before halloween and not much has ever been said but if it ever did, it's my crutch. On halloween I prefer a female costume as this year I hope to do batgirl. If we do anything at all this halloween , we should at least have some fun.
    Flip Flops were made for Beaches & Bath Houses, We have neither in 2017. Lose the flip flops!

  6. #56
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    Hi Jenn, That's funny, That's probably the only night that I don't dress up because I give out the candy.
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

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  7. #57
    Aspiring Member Brooklyn's Avatar
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    So, do you think my plans to go in drag to see Michelle Visage in Rocky Horror with a gay friend would raise any suspicions?
    Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hairstylist you like.

  8. #58
    Senior Member Jacqueline Winona's Avatar
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    You know what, none of us (and I mean none) know what the neighbors might think, even if we go all out. Sure, some might talk, but most are probably going to forget about it by Nov. 3. Have fun, don't overdo it of course, but don't worry about it. If you're doing this on Thanksgiving, then people will talk. But Halloween is about having a good time, and if that's what you want to do, have no regrets.

  9. #59
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    I dressed publicly for the first time 3 years ago on Halloween night. I have now been out and about now many times in the public light. Taking the chance vs getting caught is worth the risk!!
    If I ever get caught I won't be trying to make up some shitty excuse as why I'm dressed as a woman or try and blame it on a Halloween costume.....

  10. #60
    trans punk Badtranny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Emma Leigh View Post
    Totally disagree.....in my experience most men will dress in public as a woman at any oppurtunity....I think all men are actually closet CDers..
    Many CD's think this.

    It's not true. It's not even close to being true. As a former closet queen who's met a few guys in rather intimate situations, I can tell you for sure that none of them were under-dressed. In fact the overwhelming majority of gay men don't want to be associated with anything feminine at all.

    Being a cross-dresser is probably about as common as being gay, so that means about 10-20% depending on who you ask.
    Quote Originally Posted by STACY B
    At least there is social acceptance in being a drunk in our world. Hell I was good at it too.
    Melissa Hobbes
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  11. #61
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    I think 50 percent might wonder, when I have dressed well I used to get compliments as to how good I looked.
    Next Halloween, they are all waiting to see what I am wearing.
    Very little question of my polarized gender.
    Ah! that is what's wrong with me.....
    I suffer from polarized gender.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  12. #62
    Chickie Chickhe's Avatar
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    This is nonsense. It is all based on fear and inexperience. I can tell you from experience that dressing up 100% passable (in a female themed costume) does not imply anything and certainly does not 'out' you. I do not recommend any costume at work other than a boring conservative one. At parties, anything goes. The only time you will run in to problems is if you let your personal fears and insecurities out. You should not explain or tell people what you feel. Just say you watched ruPauls drag race and thought the whole world is doing it so why not?! You need to be confident and shrug off any negativity. Jokes are possible, but you just fight back with a few jokes of your own. The secret to pulling it off, is to have the attitude that it is a costume...you are not being you. The advantage Halloween gives you are a CDer is the ability to let people see you enfem so they get over any shock in a positive way. Then later on if you dress, its less likely a surprise, but its far from expected that you will just because you did Halloween. Another point is about self confidence and learning not to care what other people think. ...you don't know what people are thinking, so stop trying to read their minds. Just do it! Its just a costume... you are not really super man or clark kent so stop thinking people will believe you are!
    Chickie

  13. #63
    A lady in the making..... Erica Marie's Avatar
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    Im with you on this Jennifer.
    Not quite sure how to comment on this. For me dressing is more of an identity issue and not a "costume". So for those who think they can dress as a female and not be noticed, sorry. Unless you are going as a bearded hillbilly girl with your chest hair showing as a joke. Then most likely someone will notice and have questions that you may not be able to answer.
    Erica

  14. #64
    Silver Member Majella St Gerard's Avatar
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    I have dressed up as Dracula many times for Halloween and nobody has ever accused me of being a vampire. I have dressed as a woman twice in 50 years, the first time when I was in my 30's, I just dressed up as a woman no real costume, I got lots of "looks". The second time was when I was 49, I wore a French maid uniform. I don't care what people think, if I did I wouldn't have worn the outfit.

  15. #65
    Administrator Tamara Croft's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chickhe View Post
    This is nonsense.
    That's the best reply yet because it is nonsense. All I see is a bitter post from someone who probably doesn't go out on halloween and is just trying to make others feel bad for it...
    Administrator

    Missing my Libra babe Sherlyn, I hope she's rocking up there with the angels
    Missing our Rianna, doesn't seem right, gone to early, hope she's partying with Sherlyn

  16. #66
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    For those of us who really don't care if we "fool" anyone or not the issue is moot. In any case, whenever I dress en femme to go out to the club or whatever, I consider the whole thing a costume, right down to the makeup and the wig. I don't ever consider it a statement but like Cyndie Lauper my goal is just to have fin. "Nuff said.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  17. #67
    New Member Bifrost's Avatar
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    I've always found that dressing for Halloween so effectively that you pass as a female to all but those who know you well is a hoot. That said, I've been out for years, so when people comment on my look, that it's a little "too good", I nod and smile and explain that I had to try to tone it down from what I was wearing Tuesday.

  18. #68
    Transgender Member Dianne S's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alice Torn View Post
    I wish there was a yearly day for just wearing costumes, other than Holloween.
    Purim. Just say you're Jewish and dressing up as Queen Esther or Vashti.

  19. #69
    Silver Member linda allen's Avatar
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    I've posted what amounts to a shorter version of Jennifer's original post in reply to several of the Halloween dressing posts over the years. Dress as a female around friends, neighbors, or co-workers and they will suspect you do this on a regular basis unless you do a really bad job of it. And what's the fun in that?

    If you want to use Halloween as a crutch for dressing and want to do your best, go where people won't know you. A bar (not one you normally patronize as a male), a public event or party, another town, etc. There, people will either think you are a woman or think you're in costume but it won't matter because they don't know you.
    [SIGPIC]http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=82706&dateline=137762 0356[/SIGPIC]Linda

  20. #70
    Woman and loving it Jennifer Marie P.'s Avatar
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    Halloween is a great day to dress what you want to be no one really judges you on that day.
    Pinkessence Transliving Urnotalone

  21. #71
    woman on the inside Ashlee's Avatar
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    I did dress up for a Halloween party once. I went and had a professional makeover and was femme from the skin out, I mean the works. this was in 2007 with my wife to a small party with some family (brother and sisters in law and their friends) and I never heard a thing about it since. I do wish I didn't do it and I make sure to be all the man that I am since then (i.e. not shave, get dirty, do the manly stuff you imagine) so as not to make people think that I do this more than I do. I was ready to explode so I did what I did. It was awesome and I had a lot of fun. Unfortunately there are pics out there of that night so as I said...I gotta be the man as much as I can so if this does come out I can just play it down as it being a 1 time deal at a Halloween. The passage of time does help and I do not do things to arouse suspicions (i.e. shave my legs, under dress etc. severely closeted here)

  22. #72
    Silver Member linda allen's Avatar
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    One thing I've learned about web forums regardless of the subject is; Nobody ever convinces anybody that their position is right and the other person's position is wrong. If I say it's white and they say it's black, ten pages later nothing will have changed.

    I suppose the discussion is good for those who haven't made up their minds but that's about it. I would like to see someone count the responses here, pro and con and post the results.
    [SIGPIC]http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=82706&dateline=137762 0356[/SIGPIC]Linda

  23. #73
    Silver Member Tina_gm's Avatar
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    I think I get what Jennifer is saying in the OP, and she does have a point. Not everyone is going to go oh yeah, we know why they are dressing.... but some might, depending on how far one takes it. Some guys do it as a mockery of sorts, leaving the facial hair, not really trying to look fem, just putting on a dress etc etc. Be a little too good at it, it may raise a few eyebrows here and there if someone is closeted. Some may think hmmm, he's pretty good at that. So, I can see where if someone is using halloween as a cover to go out in public but stay closeted, they may be leaving the door open a bit here. Personally I do not think its going to be that big of an issue for most others. I have seen lots of guys dressed up as women for halloween, and I don't automatically assume they are cd'ers, unless they are really good at it, that is.
    Chickens should be allowed to cross the road without having their motives questioned

  24. #74
    Gender adventurer JamieG's Avatar
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    I can only comment on my own experience. My first "in public" dressing was on Halloween in 2004. My wife and I went as two female pop stars to a party thrown by some of our more liberal friends. Everyone was impressed with my costume and some still talk about it today. No one asked me if I was a crossdresser, and as far as I know, no rumors have circulated. In three of the last four years, my wife and I have performed in a charity drag show, the most recent time I went all out with a professional makeover and shaving. Some of the friends who were at the Halloween party attended the shows to cheer us on. Still, no awkward questions or swirling rumors. It's quite possible that this couple suspects, but it hasn't changed our relationship with them.

    I think the vanilla world believes so strongly that crossdressers must be gay, that if you date regularly or are in a serious relationship with a GG, they can't imagine that you would be CD. If your GG does your makeup and helps pick out an outfit (or claims to), that also provides you with suitable cover for looking too good. As long as you don't do it too often and you always have a good excuse, people will just see it as clowning around. Now, of course if you have a reputation as a no-nonsense kind of guy who never wears a costume.... well then maybe you have some explaining to do.

    In short, going out on Halloween was the second best crossdressing decision I ever made (the first was coming out to my wife). It was a chance for me to be dressed around friends, and to be accepted that way. Although I knew dressing like that was only temporary, it went a long way towards removing the fear and self-loathing I experienced for a long time before. Some people might dress once in public and decide they never want to do it again. The good thing about Halloween is you can do this, tell people you don't understand how women do it, and go back to your regular drab presentation, with no real cost to your reputation.

  25. #75
    Aspiring Member Stevie's Avatar
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    Just responding to your post Jen, you are correct. Part of me feels that way. People assume the worst and I'm afraid of it. I can't find a outfit without mixing it within my cding. Probably why I resist wearing make up even now.

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