After reading the thread "So... do you really think you're fooling everyone?" http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...oling-everyone
I've decided to ask another related question. I'm starting a new thread because the question is related, but somewhat off subject. Actually, it's digging into depth on why we do or do not fool others or ourselves.
Like the original thread, this is open to all MTF CD, TG, TS, gender fluid, regardless of what you label yourselves. Cis-gendered people may reply too.
The answer to the question did I "fool" anyone or not is mixed for me. For the most part, people seem to see a bit of underlying femininity in me, and have dropped me subtle hints all my life. These hints come in the form of calling me, directly, a girl, gay, or cross-dresser, or calling me something that implies that I'm a girl, gay, or a cross-dresser, or otherwise somewhat feminine. Examples of implications might be a friend saying "I'll get you a job as a secretary, but you'll have to wear a skirt" or asking me "who's the lucky guy?"
I see that many of us have had experiences like this, while others did not.
There were some exceptions to people noticing and dropping subtle hints of my femininity.
1. I had a friend in college who seemed convinced I was a "man's man". Granted I attempted to act extremely masculine, by drinking and acting like a frat boy. In spite of that most people saw through my cover, dropped hints at me being feminine, and I still couldn't get past the "friend zone" with girls. Yet this one guy seemed to buy it. Maybe he was just being nice to me. Maybe he really was fooled. His mom was not fooled though. Also about 7 years ago he did tell me that my "man's man" cover was me "not being myself".
2. My parents and brother noticed my feminine mannerisms and tendencies as a kid. They all suspected I was gay, in fact my dad was once convinced I was gay...I'm not sure if he still feels that way. They did every attempt to beat anything feminine out of me...not physically but through guilt-tripping. At some point in the past 10 years, they started to be convinced I was a typical "male stoic" and "not very sensitive". It seems weird because I always was oversensitive, and most people definitely noticed that too.
3. The "girl jokes" continued until the end of 2012. For some strange reason, not only did the "girl jokes" stop in January, but I have also become the recipient of "guy jokes", often by the same people who used to make "girl jokes". I feel very resentful anytime someone makes a guy joke. I've had otherwise good days ruined because someone said "you're definitely a guy, you drive like a guy" or "you have the strength of ten men." I don't quite understand the change in attitude, why is everyone suddenly dropping hints of my masculinity after years of dropping hints of my femininity. It really bugs me. I've had very few "girl/gay/CD jokes" in 2013, including a 5 month drought from mid-March to mid-August. The barrage of guy jokes started in January.
Edit to #3: It isn't just the same friends/acquaintences, it's everybody. It's not just one circle, it's a consistent pattern I've had all my life, and it would happen amonst co-workers too. The shift in January happened amongst all circles of friends/acquaintences...everyone isn't conspiring against me...it's as if something about me has changed to the public.
My questions for everyone are:
1. Have you ever experienced #3 above, where people who dropped hints of your femininity suddenly start dropping hints of your masculinity?
2. Why would #3 above happen?
3. Why would #2 above happen, with my parents who suspected me of being gay and too feminine, now see me as more of a typical guy?
4. What about #1 above, the one person who I seemingly fooled, yet I didn't fool his mother?
Edit: I'm not out as a CD, I have never gone out dressed en femme, yet.