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Thread: Nature or nurture?

  1. #1
    Dani Dani0948's Avatar
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    Nature or nurture?

    I've been xdressing since the early 60s. I found this site last year. It got me wondering. The first time I underdressed was in junior college. I wore my mom's girdle and nylons under my jeans. I was afraid someone would notice the garter bumps. Nobody did.
    My question is how did I get the idea to underdress? I just thought this up on my own. I'm wondering if there is a genetic component?
    How many others underdressed without outside influence?

  2. #2
    Silver Member Tina_gm's Avatar
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    Looking back, I can see that I was not as tough as the other kids, and probably had other signs of increased femininity, but my 1st cognitive feeling of wanting to dress was when I was 17. I was in a club, began to notice a rather attractive college girl. Then somehow I not only wanted to be with her, but I wanted to look like her as well. I wanted to wear what she was wearing. What a weird moment that was for me. I left the bar, feeling really weird and unsure of what the heck I was feeling. Blamed it on alcohol. Even though I wasn't overly drunk, but nonetheless I had to blame it on something. Then the feelings started coming back within days at school. I never had the experience of older sisters (I am an only child) I didn't have a close loving relationship with my mother. It just happened, and the feeling has never left.
    Chickens should be allowed to cross the road without having their motives questioned

  3. #3
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dani0948 View Post
    I'm wondering if there is a genetic component? How many others underdressed without outside influence?
    Problem is, most people are influenced in subconscious ways, so they don't even know that there's a 'outside influence'. To answer the original question, sure, sometimes there's a genetic influence to our behavior. And then again, sometimes there isn't.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  4. #4
    Laura So Cal Laura28's Avatar
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    For it it was just something i wanted to do i was young proably 8 or 9 when i tried on my mothers stuff. Not sure why but it was a turn on and felt right. I was a jock in school and always played sports but i would always go back to trying things on when nobody was home. There was no influance in my life that led me to this but i do know this now i love it and it part of who i am.

  5. #5
    Transgender Member Dianne S's Avatar
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    I fantasized about it at a very young age... maybe 5 or 6. I used to dream I went swimming in a girl's bathing suit. I have no idea what drew me to this.

    I actually cross-dressed for the first time around 9 or 10 in a female cousin's clothes. Started doing it more-or-less regularly around age 15.

  6. #6
    Silver Member giuseppina's Avatar
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    I vote for both nature and nurture.

    I started dressing in a serious way at puberty as an escape for unnecessary adverse events. I also developed a posterior more like that of a girl than a boy, which stayed with me into my 30s.

  7. #7
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    My half-sister is lesbian and I'm pansexual so I suppose one could make a pretty strong argument for genetics playing a very strong role as we share a common parent, but we also share a similar upbringing as our father wasn't the most... Interactive with our childhood, and she started out being raised by my mom. So who knows?

  8. #8
    Junior Member Dannigurlfriend's Avatar
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    I always had an appreciation for women's clothing but it never really took hold until I was in a school talent show where some other boys and myself were dressed as girls and the girls were dressed as boys. The dress was to large and the the huge bra was filled with TP, the wig was of a Halloween variety, my makeup was clownish but it was like being struck with lighting when I was dressed I didn't want to remove it. Had that feeling always been there and I just realized it? Not sure. I can honestly say that I wasn't influenced by my surrounding's.
    “All men are liars, said Roberta Muldoon, who knew this was true because she had once been a man.”
    ― John Irving, The World According to Garp

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    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    I blame it on nature.
    I just "discovered" it myself many years ago.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  10. #10
    GG
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    Kids do weird stuff - who knows why. Doesn't mean there's a genetic link. You might have worn the girdle because it was there. The end.

    Don't look for something that's not there

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheMissus View Post
    Kids do weird stuff - who knows why. Doesn't mean there's a genetic link. You might have worn the girdle because it was there. The end.

    Don't look for something that's not there
    I totally disagree Missus. It makes no sense to cross dress and more so to keep doing it. Peer pressure drives many kids to do things that are stupid but no one ever got pressured to cross dress. No, it is absolutely a genetic thing. No different than being gay. No one "chooses" this.

  12. #12
    Gone to live my life
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    Ah, the nurture/nature debate. This one has been fought at all levels of psychology, sociology, anthropology and a whole host of "ologies". Not just for CD but everything from homosexuality to serial killers.

    Why do we do the things we do? Why do some people go on the be law abiding citizens and others go on to be career criminals. Is it upbringing . . . plausible. But how do you explain someone who comes from a bad home environment and grows up to a model citizen or vice versa? Most working theories agree that there has to be a biological/genetic link there which creates a predisposition. We all have certain predispositions to behavior but for some it is not as strong as others and if the environment is there (nurture) it may or may not manifest itself. Point in case, most soldiers know it is wrong to kill. Specifically, I don't translate my work behaviors to real life (the predisposition is not strong). If the nature to kill just for the sake of killing was strong, then we have a problem.

    Can this translate to CD? IMHO, yes. I can no longer change who I am than I can stop manifesting the behavior traits that make me a decent person. Did "nurture" feed into that? I grew up in a house full of women and girls (only boy). My older sisters and cousins thought it would be fun to dress me up as girl one day. Did that in itself make me CD today? Not likely. It is more likely that provided the environment for a behavioral predisposition (nature) to explore - think of it sort of as a behavioral trigger. There were other incidents in my life which continued to provide that environment, allowing the predisposition to flourish and manifest (nurture and nature in sync).

    So to bottle the genie . . . if I did not have a predisposition (nature) and all the same things happened, I doubt very much it would have lead to me being CD.

    So I would not discount the "nature" aspect out of hand. The cold hard reality is that the experts can't even agree and we know so little about genetics and formation of neuronal connections (grey matter side of the house) to say how it effects our behavior.

    Isha

  13. #13
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenniferathome View Post
    I totally disagree Missus. It makes no sense to cross dress and more so to keep doing it. Peer pressure drives many kids to do things that are stupid but no one ever got pressured to cross dress. No, it is absolutely a genetic thing. No different than being gay. No one "chooses" this.
    That may be the single biggest misconception on this forum.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  14. #14
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    There was no overt outside influence in my case, nor much thought beforehand. I started when I was so young that every bought I had was new and original to me.

  15. #15
    Carole carhill2mn's Avatar
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    There is no doubt in my mind that nurture has very little to do with our enjoyment of "dressing". Curiosity may play a part in why a person first tries on feminine clothing but, IMHO, the excitement, desire to do it again, etc. come from the brain and how it is "wired". Most of us received negative "nurturing", not positive.

    There are many males who have worn a dress, skirt, etc. once or twice that have no desire to repeat the experience. When I first started to "dress up" I convinced my younger brother to try it also. He did a few times but then said he would not do it any more, even though I continued to do so. To me, wanting/needing to CD is like sexual preference; your preference is not likely to change due to "nurture".
    Hugs, Carole

  16. #16
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Exclamation Nature? Nurture? Nonsense!

    It's all about how ladies things feel! When I first tried on ladies things, I couldn't get over the way those smooth nylons, tite girdle, and bra felt! That's why I briefly under dressed to work and out in the evening alone a few times.

    But, that titillating feeling soon turned into scratches and rashes. And, under dressing became a pointless and painful phase I grew out of as Sherry blossomed!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  17. #17
    Aspiring Member Jenny Gurl's Avatar
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    For me it was definitely nature. I had feminine feelings since before Kindergarten. Felt more at ease with the girls in Kindergarten and in future years although I could hang out with either the girls or boys. Played imaginary games where I got to be the girl in 1st grade until I became aware that it was not excepted in society, that is when I learned to hide these feelings. I was never dressed by my mother or anyone else, the feelings were simply there from birth. Still feel like one of the girls in a girls group, but can hang with the guys too.

  18. #18
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    I have to believe nurture. I had three older sisters who would dress my like a girl.

  19. #19
    Gender whatever Megan72's Avatar
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    I found out recently that my father was transgender. This brought the same questions to my mind. I don't know the answer but it seems that there may be a connection to genetics. I only wish I could have known the whole person he,she was.

  20. #20
    Aspiring Member Sabrina133's Avatar
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    I love the question and the answers it generates. I think the answer is, clearly, "yes". My dad was a Soldier and not often home. When he was home, our relationship was very close. On weekends when he was home, he'd take me with him when he went to check on the troops. We both have a love of aviation and military history. My Dad was my hero. In spite of my early discovery of my love of feminine things, i absolutely knew i wanted to follow in his footsteps - same school, same branch of service, same specialty.

    While true that my mom did raise us pretty much on her own and i had two sisters and no brothers, i don't think that had much influence on my discovery of women's clothing. I pretty much discovered that when i reached puberty and realized what my older sister was wearing was pretty and i had an overwhelming desire to wear it as well.

    SO, while nurture did play a very small part - i think it is nature. I happen to think that we all live on the somewhere on the male - female continuum. Most males live on the far left and most females live on the far right. I think CDs/TSs live somewhere on that continuum somewhere other than the far right or left. One thing i've learned --- when it comes to humanity, there is no "standard". That would be too simple.

    My $.02 worth anyway.

  21. #21
    Gold Member NicoleScott's Avatar
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    It's a fun discussion, and I always learn something, but as usual it will not be resolved here. There are few things that are purely nature or nuture. We are what we are because of both.
    I have a hard time believing there is a genetic reason for anything having to with clothing. Considering the millions of years for us to have evolved from tree-dwelling apes, clothing is a rather recent thing, probably coming about as man drifted into colder climates and/or colder conditions (ice ages) moved south.
    There could be, though, a genetic cause of men having strong feminine identities and desire to express them through clothing types. But those clothing types are determined by society, that is, the nuture factor. Can't escape the mix.
    Please keep in mind that our drives to dress are quite different. Not all of us dress in women's clothes because we have strong internal feminine identities, Some crossdressing men are very masculine but dress very girly, whether for sexual reasons or other. Some wish they were woman, and others content to dress up occasionally. How about the fetish dressers? Maybe having a fetish is genetic-based, but certainly not the object.
    As nature experiments with little changes (that is, causes random mutations), those changes may or may not be good for the survival of the species (all living things, not just humans). Over time, those that don't are usually weeded out, and those that do may pass on those changes to future generations. It just makes me wonder, what's the benefit of some humans having a drive to crossdress?

  22. #22
    GG/SO of a CD
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    I guess I think its nature.

    I think its because someone who has a very similar upbringing doesnt nessicarily end up being a CDer. Luca had a really crazy family. But was drawn to his sisters and mothers clothes. I think when your first sexual experience is with women's clothing, there is some amount of nature to that. If that wasn't the case, would luca still be a CDer. I think probably yeah.

    While I don't believe CDing makes someone a certain way "more emotional, loving, caring, or whatever". I think the same is true the opposite, someone who is raised in a certain environment that does not make them a CDer.

  23. #23
    Junior Member jodie k's Avatar
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    genrtics no--synthetic yes

    today most people seem to blame any anti-(current fad) social act on genetics., which sometimes takes all the onus of ourselves.
    If we all wore uniclothes, unihair etc., the genetics-nurture question would disappear . if there was a genetic crossdresser in that mileau he or she (depending on cd type)
    would be going crazy--not knowing how to scratch the itch.
    jo
    the mad icons are for insanity, not anger.

  24. #24
    Junior Member LeeBe's Avatar
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    I guess I am going to throw in with the nature crowd. I thought a lot about this even before this thread came along... and now I'm thinking some more. Being an only child there was not any sibling influence whatsoever, both of my parents were great, felt loved and wanted, they always took an interest in what I wanted to do. Basically it was a very normal childhood without any seminal event/s that could have driven me into the arms of cross dressing. I don't when I became aware of the desire but I knew something was a little different with me since I was always envious of what the girls were wearing... really fascinated me... from full skirts to dresses, even straight skirts, I just thought they were all neat. All the while I was wondering what it would be like to wear those clothes. When I would go to the movies, if it was something I wasn't particularly interested in I would admire what the women were wearing. Since I never heard any other boy talk about similar feelings, there was just something inside telling me that my feelings should remain with me only. Then on occasion there would be a column in Dear Abby or Ann about cross dressing... I would read that until the ink lifted off the page. That is when I realized that is exactly what I wanted. Never did anything while I was living at home, just wondered and wished. When I moved out on my own, I had a few brushes with CDing but nothing serious.

    Not too long after striking out on my own, I got married and this was the first time I really had a full compliment of items to try on. Here is where my story is completely unique... (LOL)! I started out small, just try on an item here and there, then another thing or two and then on and on and on! There just is something there that keeps this urge going and where it came from, I really just don't know. I was not led into it by anybody or any event, it has been within me for as long as I can remember. So my vote will be with nature as you probably can tell. I'm sure that some of us could certainly have been brought into the CD fold by nurture. I'm sure that if I had that kind of nurture, it would have fit in very nicely with my nature.

  25. #25
    Cat's Eye Siren ArleneRaquel's Avatar
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    IMO most males at a very young age wear females clothes as a lark or a way of exploring. They borrow the mother, sister's, aunt's clothes just to do something different. Some of us continue and grow & grow in your dressing, so I believe that there must be something in are DNA that leads us to dress enfemme and maybe decide to live our life this way. I hope that I made some sense. No one, in my youth, encouraged me in this direction. As I have posted many times that starting at a very young age I had many dreams that as an adult I would live as a woman, AND that a male, always wealthy and a young widower, feel in love with me, and wanted to marry moi, and I would always be troubled if I should just exit or be trueful and t6ell him who I really wa, at this point I would wake up. I must have had this dream, or a slight variation of it, hundreds, yes hundreds, of time. The dreams continued until I reached the age of 20 or so.
    Fulfilling a Lifetime Dream of Living as a Woman in My Adult Years. Ten Years Living 24/7 as a Mature Lady

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