Dear Mandy TS and the other girls
This has been one of the most interesting and thought provoking posts we have seen in a long time.
Mandy, thank you for your in-depth discussion on our little world and how it is so similar to the other girls and again just how different we are because of the additional brain trauma we face. Legally I am a male, it is so on my driver’s license, on my birth certificate it has no mention of gender as I was born with both sexes, I am an XXY. It was decided when I was 1 year old that my sex would be changed to male and my female part was sewn shut, however, brain sex in humans is very real and I am inside as much of a woman as any Genetic Girl. And after keeping my little secret to myself for 61 years, I have just kicked the doors off the closet, I am a CD/TV/TS/ intersexed ( XXY ) who is just now coming to understand what and who I am.
As far as have been able to uncover the evidence to date, when I was 5 years old I was given massive shots of testosterone because I had “feminine tendencies” and in those days (the 40’s), that was totally unacceptable for a male child to display. I was given these shots continuously until I was around the age of16 when I guess the powers that be (the doctors, I don’t blame my parents) felt they had achieved there success, because they produced a kick ass kid, full of rage and incredible strength. Sometime when we have an hour or two I will explain my life as an XXY and how I have had to be a Manley man all my life, it dose get a little confusing even to me but it’s me, just like a Million other transsexuals, I walk like a man, talk like a man, think like a man ß* woman, I feel like a woman inside as I have sense I was 4 years old. Now that I have raised my family and lived up to my parental role as husband, father, provider, protector and leader, maybe now there is some time left in this world for me. We are the sum of our life’s experiences, yes I am a man because I have lived as one for 65 years and yes, I am a woman because within me, my spirit, my sole, my very being is a woman. When I speak as a man I am one and when I speak as a woman, I am one.
I am very fortunate to have had the good fortune to have lived the life that I have. I love life and all that it has to offer, my six kids (Adopted as I too am unable to have children) and 15 grand kids and I am also the most happily married monogamous (wo)man in the world and my wife is my Eternal Companion and best friend whom I love with all of my being. I have been dressing EnFem as the woman I am for all but the first 4 years of my 65 years of life and I have admired everything that is feminine with grate admiration and hope that I to truly epitomize the attributes of womanhood, softness and gentleness. A female is a gender identity; but a woman is feminine, soft, gracious, kind, gentle and compassionate. Her true beauty shines brighter from within than from any other expression. I am a woman and this is how I will live the rest of my life.
Debbie Austin
debbieaustin@juno.com