Hair counts

[Allisa]

Well today I had an unusual experience,I had finished cleaning up my weekly beard and cleaned,conditioned my hair so I let it air dry as usual and a treatment of TRESemme climate control.Althought I was under dressed(panties)I wore some newer jeans and a powder blue T shirt nothing femme,maybe my clogs seem more femme than most shoes but comfort counts.Well there I was standing in line at the check out at the grocery store when the woman behind me asked (point blank) if I was trying to be a girl?My response was excuse me?Then she asked if I was transitioning to be a girl.After a second or two I responded no what makes you think that,her response was "well with hair like that and your clothing I just thought".I have never had this experience before when in male mode.I don't think I project a more femme self in my everyday existence.Then her reponse was "I'm sorry". I like to let my ''freak flag fly" but at what cost ? I thought society was past this long hair on guys thing.I'm to old to go back to that narrow minded view.One step forward two steps back I guess, what say ye all ?

[Tracii G]

It happens to me a lot I just say thank you for noticing.

[ryenmatt]

Society will forever have boxes that they put people in and expect people to look a certain way and etc. etc. It has happen for decades and will continue to happen it is just something you have to deal with.

[PattiAllison]

I too have long hair which can look very feminine depending on how I style it. I really don't care what people think about whether I look like a girl or not but I welcome any and all compliments. I love to wear pretty dresses and skirts, but that is not always practical. I would welcome the day when people see me as a woman even when I am not trying that hard to look like one.

[AllieSF]

I wasn't there to hear how she asked, tone of voice and body language, but I don't think that I would take it negatively, if I understand your post here. She may be someone who knows someone who is transitioning or has already done so. If she asked if you are transitioning that indicates to me some knowledge of who we are or may be. Thus, I think that she may have been politely curious and trying to learn more. I understand the surprise factor of the question while out in a public place. If we own our look and who we are we should try and help others understand if they are nice. If she was nice, I would have engaged her in a conversation, asking her what she knew about transitioning, etc. If she was not nice - forget about it!

[Tracii G]

I was out tonight at an outdoor gig listening to a friends band and a girl behind me bumped into me and said excuse me miss I didn't mean to bump you.
I turned around and said thats OK no problem.
She said gosh I'm sorry I called you miss LOL, again I said no problem.Her reply was well you have really pretty hair.
I'm sure the femme jeans and boots with 3 in heels had something to do with her perception of me from the rear.
I took it as a compliment either way.

[SusanCACD]

Another great response form Allie.
Susan

[Maryesther M.]

Allisa,
How very fortunate for you to be blessed with long hair that obviously looks femme. That lady caught you 'on the hop' so to speak and one never thinks of the right thing to say at the time, only later when one mulls it over in one's mind.

At my age I can only envy you and say that with hair like that I'd be seriously into girly clothes &c for going out.

M.

[gautier_nikolai]

How i read it is like others have said maybe she knows some trans people who are transitioning and wanted to try engage and maybe be indirectly supportive; because most people aren't so sensitive to subtle clues and even then, i doubt many would query so frankly and openly.If it was any negative feelings she wanted to express i would think she would have made a negative comment or facial expression.

Men with long hair to most people nowadays doesn't necessarily equal a TG person or somebody transitioning, especially if you were dressed in drab.

[Allisa]

Thanks all ,the woman was I believe just curious and very nice in voice tone and expression.It just caught me off guard in a location where one would not think to ask that kind of question.We are both in our 50's ,at least I think she was,it's just that I was never asked that before even in my younger days before time took it's toll.I've been called a lot of things,asked if I was or wanted to be a girl,but never about transitioning.I don't want to, I like being a male now if I had my face on and maybe" the girls" yes then I could understand the question .

[AmyGaleRT]

If anyone comments on my ponytail in guy mode, I just say, "My fiancee likes it." Which she does.

But taking my hair down and brushing it out is a big part of my transformation to Amy. I wear headbands or barrettes with it to enhance the look. It's getting long enough now that I should try it in an updo.

- Amy

[reb.femme]

Perhaps some people have no skills when it comes to asking the genuine question they have on their mind?

Lucky you I say. She could only have commented on my balding pate from behind. Damn you hairy people!

Rebecca

[Marcelle]

Hi Allisa,

From what you describe in both your posts I don't think this was negative. I truly believe the woman was curious by her amicable tone and she may have just wanted to know. As Allie said, she may have known someone who is transitioning and is looking for information herself. Unfortunately, some people think before they talk . . . seems reasonable to ask but then you find yourself trying the catch the words as you say them (I am sure we have all been there). It seems, sometimes our "social filter" gets turned off.

I would take it as a compliment. I can only imagine how good you look dressed.

Hugs

Isha

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Allisa, It's really hard to know what was on her mind.

[Beverley Sims]

Me,
I just agree with them and let them know what they want to assume.
I like playing with some peoples minds.