I used to panic when I would go shopping for my femme self. I grew up around alot of intolerant people... These days, I find that I don't care as much about what people might be thinking. It helps that there is a strong LBGT community where I live. Still, for specialty items, I shop online. And recently, I have learned how to make some of my own clothes. This is helpful, as my body can't always pull off something I find at the mall... ;P
It's still really pretty scary for me - usually I go to a big box store - like meijer or wal-mart and I do what many of you have called the list trick - just buy a bunch of whatever I need - groceries or whatever and then grab some thing in the women's section in passing, but I'm terrified of being seen by someone I know so I tend to go to stores a little ways away from where I live.
I have to say though that I really appreciate some of the things you have written about it - especially Patty Fay an Adriana. Thanks a lot for your comments - they are very empowering!
Krista
I got over my reluctance to shop for fem attire by going to a thrift shop where it is pretty common for people of either gender to shop from all the racks. They seem to put the male clothes pretty close to the ladies section, so people go back and forth interchangeably. This became so common and comfortable for me that I would ask other shoppers their opinion on my selections. Of course, there were no changing rooms, but everything is priced so cheaply that I can load up with several outfits for less than $20 and then, if they don't fit, I can either return it for credit or just donate it back to the thrift store.
After shopping there for a couple of years, I have since found it quite easy and comfortable to shop in regular retail ladies stores. Being somewhat larger, my favorite is Lane Bryant. I have had a couple of bra fittings and the SA'a there now know me and offer advice and tell me about upcoming sales, etc. All of this just makes me feel so much more girly or feminine. I can shop with the best of GG's!
Was both excited and scared.
When shopping as a girl I'm as happy as can be and could care less if people think I'm weird or have a mental problem. When shopping as a guy super uncomfortable and feel like a creep :\ Thats why I only shop as a girl for my girl stuff unless its online
You're a Daisy if you do! -Doc Holliday
My old phone has this cool feature called "Fake Call". I used to have it programed with my wife's phone number to come up and when I hit the volume button 3 times it would ring 30 seconds later. I would pretend to answer it and act like my wife is asking me to pick something up. I would stay on the fake call and ask her about the color she would want, what size... It was all pretty silly and I haven't done it in a long time. I figure my wife wears underwear, pantyhose, dresses, skirts, thigh highs and all the other fun things, so I just tell anyone asking they are for her, but most don't even care or notice. I will say the fake call feature got me out of some boring or uncomfortable conversations! I wish the iPhone had something similar.
Very neat idea Susan!
You're a Daisy if you do! -Doc Holliday
I feel people are judged by CHARACTER. ANYONE THAT LOOKS UNEASY ABOUT THEM SELVES USUALLY DOSE RAISE SOME EYE BROWSE. Who gives sh** shat we are wearing, shopping for etc. once I got over the fear, i don't get 90 percent of the strange reactions i thought i got evreytime out. carry with confidences and also with a good sense of security within our selves. SMILE HAVE FUN
Sales associates are always happy i come back and also, the first time in a new store, that bond is INSTANT
Last edited by jsunic_1978; 03-14-2014 at 06:45 PM.
The sales assistants don't care, if you are in Bob mode you could be buying for a partner or a female relative.
Even if they know you are buying for yourself, they don't care anyway and why should they?
Worst case scenario is that you are a topic of conversation for a minute until another customer comes along.
The question I have always asked myself and one that I will never know the personal answer is....... if I wasn't a CD and just a guy clothes wearing guy, would I have the same issues I have now when I go into the women's section to actually buy something for my wife ?? She is nowhere near the same size as me, so when I am buying her something like a bra in a 32B and I am clearly a 42AA, why am I sweating like Lindsay Lohan at a bail hearing ???
A lot of it is just in our heads, most people don't really care what your doing. That said it sure raises the heart beat, and it is a rush
I used to shop drab for women's clothes ,somedays I didn't care and others I did ,I now only shop femme it gives me a reason to go out ,I find it less intimidating lining up to buy a bra or panties femme even if I am read than drab ,although I have done it many times as bob , as long as you don't know anybody where you are shopping who cares what they think
And interesting thing ,I was shopping in the women's dept a few weeks ago as Julie , there was a man looking through the the skirts ,he didn't seem to care and I didn't notice any of the other women looking at him Good for him
Well I used to be when I first started shopping for female attire but not anymore. Once you have done it a few times you soon figure out the sales people don't care if you are genetically male. It's best to be honest with them too. It's for me not your wife, girlfriend etc. just be nice and courteous and they are more than willing to be the same to you.
I'm not sure why but I'm reminded of Dorthy from... "The Wizard of Oz" (1939). The Scarecrow, Tin Woodsman and Dorothy, with her dog Toto follow along hearing the wild animals sounds in the forest.
Dorothy: Do you suppose we'll meet any wild animals?
Tin Woodsman: Mm, we might.
Scarecrow: Animals that eat... s-traw?
Tin Woodsman: Some, but mostly lions, and tigers, and bears.
Dorothy: Lions?
Scarecrow: And tigers?
Tin Woodsman: And bears.
They all begin skip down the yellow brick road singing faster and faster "Lions, and tigers, and bears! Oh, my!" They repeat this line over and over as their fears escalate to a fever pitch.
Suddenly a Lion leaps out of the woods onto the road. Dorothy hides behind a tree as the Tin Woodsman and the Scarecrow shake with fear as the Lion verbally threats them to fight. Toto suddenly appears from the side of the road and barks at the Lion. The Lion gives chase to the little dog and runs back to Dorothy as she scoops Toto into her arms. She finds her courage and slaps the lion who then suddenly begins to break out in tears and cry.
Dorothy: My goodness, what a fuss you're making! Well naturally, when you go around picking on things weaker than you are. Why, you're nothing but a great big coward!
Cowardly Lion: [crying] You're right, I am a coward! I haven't any courage at all. I even scare myself.
With that said, Fear is not a bad feeling as it protects me from going where perhaps fools rush in where angels fear to tread, and my life is at risk. I know to use caution and realize the dangers around me.
But I see in myself sometimes when I let my fears get the best of me and get all worked up, like the Scarecrow, Tin Woodsman and Dorothy. The Cowardly Lion is the best example of someone who is controlled by their fear, perceived as irrational in scope, and can't let it go.
My point is that it does take courage, like Dorothy, to push past her fears and protect her dog Toto. I know I can also be brave and buy the clothes I desire to be myself.
Bottom line is...
Merchants just want to make a sale. And as long as you are...
1) respectful to their other customers,
2) their dressing room rules,
3) their merchandise and don't make a scene...
... they will be more than willing to sell you what ever you want. Your money is just as green as another customer.
Don't suppress who you are inside your heart. Let the world know how special you really are. Don't forget to smile
Your Sister/Brother,
Debbie/Steve
Probably because if you go into a female only clothes store dressed as a male and look for clothes for yourself, then the sales staff seem to look at you a if you are a sex offender, or is that just my perception. ?
I think the main reason is we know it's for our selfs an think that the person that's on the till knows it's for us x
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