I have a strange question. Do you ever get depressed in the morning when you shower and shave and look in the mirror before work and think to yourself: "I could look a lot better if I could just doll myself up a bit." and then just kind of sigh and comb your hair? It's not like I want to be a woman, it's that I know I could be a better looking human being if I could just do it my way for a change. AAHHH, but my workplace would never understand--or approve.
Or is it just me?
Hugs,
Staci
I don't look in the mirror until I'm Sherry. Completely done up!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Well,
Yes,, I used to feel that way when I was a teenager, only it was more nuanced, in that it presented as, "Oh why bother, I can't be who I know I am what with my voice beginning to change. I was horribly withdrawn when my voice started to deepen. The vocal cadence and inflections were female and my mannerisms were feminine. Kids at school constantly asked me if I was gay.
I hope you find some comfort in knowing that your sense of self and your ability to make the changes needed to merge the two, dressing to look better and actually dressing to look better, however defined, can happen.
Sometimes, especially after a day or two being en femme the whole time. Usually I can turn the femme switch off as I'm getting ready to go to work in the mornings, but every now and again I ask myself, why can't I just wear something girly to work?
I sometimes think I'm such a fairy
I had just a feeling like that this morning, wish i had more feminine facial features, softer skin & no beard shadow!!
will my dream ever come true??
Those types of thoughts were tearing me up inside. A few years I decided to no longer think that way and I seem to a better person for it.
If it was easy, everyone would be doing it.
Hello . . . not a weird question at all. When it comes to identity we tend to define ourselves by who we are and who we strive to become. For CDers who try to or do present female some/all of the time, you are defining a portion of your identity. That portion may be more to your liking. It might not mean you "want to be a woman" it might be as simple as you see yourself as a more pleasant and better person in that guise. So it would make sense that you would want to present/express some or all of that portion in your day to day life.
However, when you say depressed do you mean "saddened" or really depressed as this might be something else.
Hugs
Isha
That's mostly why I avoid looking at myself in the mirror. I prefer my mental image. I don't go to work in the mornings but when I bring my kids to school. I get depressed when I see all the well turned out women with their kids. Some of them would fit well in the cast of 'Desperate housewives'. I feel really frumpy compared to them.
On Sunday I went outside to feel what kind of day it was, I was standing out there for only a moment when a beautiful breeze swirled around me, my only thought was, how great that breeze would have felt if I was wearing a skirt. A moment of depression hit me and back to life. I guess we all have those "if only I could do this right now" thoughts. It's all part of life as a closet crossdresser.
We are who we are my friend. What we do with it is really up to us Hon.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
I worked from home for several years and was able to dress daily from morning to night. Then I took a temporary appointment that pushed me back into male mode for several days each week. On those days, I feel that indifference to my male appearance and a wish that I could face the day my way,
I no longer work so I don't have that problem. When I was working, performance was what was important, not looks. Towards the end, I had an inside desk job and I did dress pretty well, but still, it was being able to do the job well that counted.
[SIGPIC]http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=82706&dateline=137762 0356[/SIGPIC]Linda
I think the part that depresses me most is having to take off my makeup to keep appearances up and not for needing to go to bed :P
But yes i've experienced that before as well :S
So I just wear a bit of makeup anyway
For me its how to make me pass as a guy, hide my boobs and figure with baggy clothes, and a not so close shave.
Little Miss. Reason
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Very little depresses me. Sure as hell not my looks that I can't do much about. I'm pretty pleased with whomever is looking back at me from the mirror. Although I must admit to a little excitement when Lynn shows up with that silly grin on her face.
Lynn Marie
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I always worked in a trade that required you shower at night, after a day of work, so I was able to look in the mirror and smile!
But then when I got out of the shower I could wear what I wanted to, so why not smile.
Magic is the art of changing consciousness at will.
Ithink it is a natural feeling but I don't worry too much these days.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Every morning. But I've wanted to be woman for as long as I can remember. Just never had the courage.
Yes, I do get bummed out sometimes when I look in the mirror and wish that I had more time to be fem. Especially when I've had time to dress and have to back to the grind.
Staci,Originally Posted by ME2.0
I would have to cast my mind back to when I was 21 to experience running a comb through my hair (the military took control of my body then). Seeing as that event was a little over 30 years ago, I'm getting depressed now.
I often have the dream of going to work en femme, would seriously love to do it, but then my real world kicks in and its back to sorting out computers
.
To feel a blouse and skirt against my skin at work rather than my normal shirt and trousers, would constitute nirvana in my book.
Rebecca
More mornings than I care to mention do I wish that I could wear a little make up or something femme to work. But such is life.
Yup sure do I counter it with a little something very feminine under my man cloths.
Just presenting as a woman takes any blues that I may have away. Depression is something that I haven't6 experienced i9n years. Homophobic behavior does upset me-GREATLY !
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I have uniforms to work in so it wouldn't matter for me at work but for sure many times I think about how nice I could look with just a little makeup or a nice top and skirt to show off my legs. It's a dream for sure but I just let it pass
If I still had hair to comb in the morning, I would be less depressed about going to work!
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