Finally Out At Work

[AnitaH]

I've posted here about loosing my job when I started HRT. Since starting a new job I've been torn about just when to breach the subject of my pending transition. Needles to say I've been a bit concerned since losing one job over this issue already. Last week my supervisor and I had a conversation. I mentioned that something was coming up in my life he said he thought he knew. So it seemed the time to bring it up. As a result I asked for a meeting with HR, that meeting happened today.

I must say that the meeting went well. They reassured me that they would not be releasing me because of transitioning. They laid out several options about how to proceed when I am ready and said it would be up to me. It is a rather large office and HR indicated that this is not the first time it has happened here. I must say that this is a burden off of my shoulders and I don't feel as if I'm hiding something from them any longer. I must say I am just a bit more excited as it is a sign that I am just a little closer to my goal of transition.

The one option they suggested that I am considering; Would be when its time to tell my co-workers is to have a section meeting that is facilitated by HR and my supervisor but where I would tell them what is happening and answer their questions. They also suggested they could tell my co-workers if I wasn't comfortable doing it myself.

I guess if I had a question I would ask those that transitioned on the job. How were your co-workers informed and how did it work out for you?

AnitaH

[kimdl93]

Anita, it sounds as though you have found a very good, responsible and responsive company to work for. Congratulations on the new and better work environment and on having a much smoother path to transition ahead!

[Kimberly Kael]

I guess if I had a question I would ask those that transitioned on the job. How were your co-workers informed and how did it work out for you?

As I mentioned earlier today in another thread, I sent a message explaining my intent to transition a few weeks ahead of time. My message focused on the practical elements: my new name, email address, and pronoun expectations. There was a little light humor about increasing the diversity of my team to break the ice, and an open invitation to talk to exchange email on the subject for anyone so inclined. I also included a few relevant online references and the email address for my HR contact in case anyone wasn't comfortable speaking to me about concerns. The team's management send out a message of support immediately thereafter. Everything had been coordinated ahead of time, of course. HR had known for months and my management chain all the way up to a senior VP had voiced their support. I had also hand-picked a few allies to come out to ahead of time.

My message went out to more than two hundred people that I worked in one way or another. Oddly enough, quite a few people felt compelled to confide something personal in exchange. I received scores of messages of support in short order, and the vast majority of people adjusted pretty well. There were lots of name and pronoun slips, of course, but gentle reminders were enough to change habits given some time. There were only a few people who were obvious uncomfortable and they were nothing less than professional about it. I think the bigger concerns are the hidden assumptions that undermine advancement for women in the workplace, much less transgender women. Be prepared for the glass ceiling and having to prove all over again that you're competent. It isn't malice, it's just human nature.

[Ann Louise]

Hun, we have the start of a useful sticky thread atop the TS forum listing with work and family coming out letters. And quite a few of us have gone into "open transition," and there are lots of tales of happiness and sorrow here. You've come upon a good resource. Maybe some thoughtful search terms will unearth some of the very useful info here, but I'd bet that you're going to gain some wise council pretty quickly.

You're well on your way, and I think you can already tell there's no turning back now. Be strong and thoughtful and follow your emerging woman's intuition as it arises. Be thick-skinned about the misgendered pronouns which are inevitably going to follow. Show love and kindness to the true good people in your workplace, and blow off the jerks.

Feel and exhibit dignity, pride, and self-respect in your dealings with your Co-Workers. Collect all the information you can about your legal rights in the workplace in your political jurisdiction. Make lots of trans friends and allies, collect information and think for yourself.

All the best dear, Ann Basketfield

[Rachel Smith]

First I would like to say congrats.

Having just taken this step myself here are some excerpts from my journal http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...achels-Journey about it.

The big day is Thurs. Oct. 10. (which is my B-day how sweet is that) I have a meeting with my supervisor and a union rep. (my supervisor suggested the rep. be there and even did the scheduling). We are going to set up a date for me to come to work as Rachel for the rest of my life. So that will be one job down and one to go. We will also talk about restroom stuff and general protocols to be followed. So I am well on my way to achieving my goals at work. After we set a date I will work on a legal name change, a new drivers license and all that other boring stuff but it is all in the name of progress.

On Thurs. Oct. 10 @ 9:00AM we had the meeting and my life was forever changed. It went terrific. They ask me when I was ready to come to work as Rachel. I said as soon as I know the others at the office are comfortable with it. The reply was are you available for a meeting there tomorrow. I was not ready for that but with little hesitation I said, yes as a matter of fact I am working there tomorrow. So the meeting was scheduled for Oct. 11 @ 7:30AM. I started a 7:00 and somewhat nervously watched the clock as the bewitching hour approached. All were present by 7:05. 7:30 came and went and no meeting was called. The 10 minutes from 7:30 to 7:40 seemed to last an eternity but then I heard the magic words from BB, the OIC at our office, I approached the group with some trepidation and great deal of excitement. All BB said was: we are here today to tell y'all that Randy will now be know as Rachel and he, sorry she, would like your support as she will now be dressing so her outside matches how he, oops she, sorry Rachel, feels on the inside. I am sure that knowing this office as the friendly place that it is there will be no ill will or prejudice towards him ( she didn't correct herself and I didn't care one iota) . The feeling of freedom I felt was like being swallowed by a giant Humpback whale, it was dangerous getting in past his teeth yet once inside those same teeth were protecting me. Finally free I thought, finally free. My thoughts then turned to my best friend Michelle and all the help and support both her and Rick have given to me. Then BB ask if I would like to add anything. I simply said, if any of you have any questions now or later please feel free to ask me anything, I am OK with who I am and will answer them honestly. Then Angie, the carrier I normally fill in for, ask me if I would be bothered if at first the Rachel's and Randy's, he's and shes got mixed up would I be offended. I said, not at all. I am not that hung up on that and that I only wished that they would treat me the same, that is what is important to me. I told them when they see me tomorrow it will be easier as they will see Rachel now.

That was pretty much that and we all went back to work and proceeded with the business of delivering the mail. I just love the people here in VA. Rednecks as they are known, they are not, at least not it the sense that it is most often meant. They are very excepting and understanding folk. I get the feeling that as long as you are not hurting anyone and that you are truly happy roll on with your life. Personally I wish the world was full of Rednecks from VA. Even Glen the one person I was most concerned about not taking this well at all tried his best. He, Roger, the union rep., and I all went out for a smoke and Glen called me Rachel all during our conversation. Turned out he is a very sweet man without a prejudice bone in his body.

So tomorrow is the first day of my new life as Rachel. I will enjoy every minute of the day tomorrow all 1440 of them. I am sure I will be somewhat nervous when I walk into the office tomorrow but I am also sure that they will all help me to be comfortable in no time.

So with the business of coming clean at work behind me it is now on to all the paper work things. First order of business, legal name change and new birth cert.( I am concerned about how my parents will receive this part) , new PO ID card, then a new drivers license with an "F" on it, bank account changes and the list goes on and on.


Rachel

[Jennifer Marie P.]

You work for a good company and for me it was a breeze everyone knew already and everyone was supportive.

[Rachel Smith]

The USPS

[Rianna Humble]

I guess if I had a question I would ask those that transitioned on the job. How were your co-workers informed and how did it work out for you?

I work in a fairly small department but in a much larger company. I decided to approach each member of the department individually to tell them what I was going through and answer any questions. I then engaged a number of them in helping me to prepare an FAQ for the other departments we come in contact with and for managers of all the remaining departments.

I worked with my team leader, manager and nominated HR rep to plan for contingencies and we agreed that the day before I began my RLE team leaders from the two departments working for my manager would read out a statement prepared by me and make the FAQ's available to be taken from an unmanned desk.

There was one hiccup when HR had forgotten to brief the site manager and he blew a gasket upon seeing me in female attire on a day where we were supposed to follow guidelines about acceptable clothing for men or for women. This was swiftly dealt with a upper management level.

Everyone in the two departments expressed support for me, although I later found out that two men were working behind the scenes to try to get me sacked. One of them left when having failed he was told that his unfounded complaints against me would remain on his record for a certain amount of time.

[AnitaH]

Thank you all for your responses and your advice. As the time gets closer I'll be sure to check out some more of these stories. It is a good company. They are perhaps the most helpful that I have ever worked for.

And yes I do believe this may be a good sticky topic. Mods take note.

AnitaH

[Rianna Humble]

I don't think this particular topic is a candidate for a sticky, but the "coming out" letters, emails etc. sticky is already in place