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Thread: Looking nice for who?

  1. #1
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    Looking nice for who?

    Many of us take a lot of time and effort to look nice en femme but who is it for really? My wife had asked me this question years ago along with: "Are you trying to attract a man?" My answer was "no" but now I'm not quite so sure. Especially those of us who have SO's, just who are we dressing for? Evidently not the SO, as they more or less prefer us as a man. Could it be ourselves? If that is the case, what do we get out of it? Which was another question my wife asked those many years ago and I honestly had no answer then. For myself, I can answer now that the dressing was a vehicle that helped me to get in touch with my feelings but now it's just pure choice.

    Another possibility is that, even if we don't want to attract someone per se, we do enjoy the admiration and adulation we are given by others for presenting as a good looking woman. All in all, I just chalk it off as part of the "CD mystique" in that we are not sure what the drive is but just go with the flow and enjoy it. What are your thoughts on this?
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  2. #2
    Gold Member ~Joanne~'s Avatar
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    I do it for me. nobody else. If I want to ever get past this door and venture out into the world dressed en femme, I have to do the best job I can to make myself as passable as possible not to attract any bigots or worse. The only way to achieve this is continuous practice. Unless your one of those people who only "half practice" to be good at something.

    Especially those of us who have SO's, just who are we dressing for? Evidently not the SO, as they more or less prefer us as a man.

    I'm not sure this is a completely true statement because My SO has never asked these questions and doesn't look or treat me any differently no matter how I am dressed. If anything she wants me to be "Me" and nothing more.
    Flip Flops were made for Beaches & Bath Houses, We have neither in 2017. Lose the flip flops!

  3. #3
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    I do it for myself just like many genetic girls do :P I like the way I appear and then that in turn will do wonders for my confidence. It's nice to feel attractive I guess? and LIke Joanne said I'd rather do a good job and hopefully blend as to not attract the attention of baddies xD

    Like she also said, My SO doesn't mind it when I dress up. Obviously she prefers male me but she also quite enjoys when I get all dressed up too c: Last time I got dressed up she hugged me and told me I was pretty, which is the same thing she does even if i'm not I think she's happy with "me" as a whole rather than male or female me. So I guess I can say I get dressed up partly for her as well! She thinks I am cute and we always get laughter just the same as if I were wearing my pjs so oh well c:

  4. #4
    I'm a Lumberjack & I'm OK
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    I don't dress to attract a man, but in drab I don't dress to attract a woman either. I'm happily married and don't need to do that.

    I think I dress to look good like many women who are in a committed relationship dress nicely to receive that level of attention that says "You look good." It's a confidence builder and puts a bounce in your step.

    When I'm drab (most of the time) I'm often working on equipment and greasy and don't care what I look like, but other times I get cleaned up and look good even though I'm not trying to attact anyone... just look pleasing to others.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Laura912's Avatar
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    If I told you then we would have to cut your garters...

  6. #6
    Junior Member ginger56's Avatar
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    Hi kate,i've often thought that myself.who am i doing this for?my wife would rather see me as a man,but she doesn't condone the dressing as she knows it is part of me.i'm not a full dresser as i won't pass as a gurl in public so my dressing is limited to the house.thank you for bring up this question.

  7. #7
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    I just want to look as nice as the next girl, and I think you do too.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  8. #8
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    Of course Bev but logic dictates me to ask the question anyway.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  9. #9
    Aspiring Member vallerie lacy's Avatar
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    Not everyone does things for the same reason. To each , his own. I dress because that's what I like. I wish I could be the girliest in the world, because that's what I like. Hence I dress for myself only. Though I only dress at home, I have nothing but admiration for you Girls that venture into the outer limits . I think I speak for everyone, when I say, we wish we could be with you for one reason or another.
    After searching my lingerie drawers, I have come to the conclusion that they lied. Ruffles don't have ridges. At least mine don't.

  10. #10
    Just Having Fun Susanna66's Avatar
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    My wife asked me that same question the other day. I told her it is for me.. No matter how I dress, I want to look nice. When I go out as Susanna, it want everyone to see her.

  11. #11
    Gold Member NicoleScott's Avatar
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    Kate, let's go back to the beginning, when we started. Behind a closed and locked bedroom or bathroom door, we tried on that slip or pantyhose or touched lipstick to our lips, or walked in high heels for the first time. Who did we do it for then? Same answer, it's just that other people are imbedded deeply into our lives now. Is it only when we became independent and then half of a couple do we question who we dress for?

  12. #12
    Gold Member Rachael Leigh's Avatar
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    This is a great question Kate and it is one I too have struggled with, for me I pretty much never go out enfem as I don't really feel I pass but when I do wear my fem clothes its like I have this different energy about me. I got into working out about 2 years ago so I decided to buy work out gear for women and man it just made me want to work harder and be stronger and more fit. If I were to do it in drab I just don't think I would stick with it the way I have. I too don't want a man and I understand that my wife wants me as a man.

    Those of you who have wives who fully accept this Im not sure you know how really hard that is for them to do that.
    I have stopped for a long stretch at a time but it never stopped me from looking at the adds in the paper or secretly looking at clothes as I shopped with my wife and now I seem to be back into enjoying it. I doubt I will ever go as deep into it as I once did but it does seem to be more just a part of me than I ever thought.
    I know my wife will never get it Ive let that ship sail. but I know I just have to be there for her as a man and as a husband.

  13. #13
    Member Caitlin_85's Avatar
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    I am definitely dressing for no one other than me...definitely not to attract someone - as I would never go out as Caitlin. Being as feminine as possible gives me a peace and happiness in a way that really nothing else does.
    I want to be a girl - that's all.

  14. #14
    Senior Member Jaymees22's Avatar
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    Hi, I think I'm dressing to look good for myself, to create my own dream girl, even though I don't have the right parts. In drab or in femme I'm fairly vain and growing up as an only child I noticed my parents spent a lot of time looking in the mirror trying to get their appearance just so. My mother was way better than average but I'm afraid I'll never attain that. My father was reasonably good looking too. What happened to me, it must have skipped a generation, I look more like my grandfather, big nose and big ears.

    So from my rather shallow vain beginning that's how I got to where I am today trying to look my best for myself and the occasional compliment I may get here.

    Jaymee
    I enjoy being a boy, being a GIRL like me!!!

  15. #15
    Complex Lolita...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kate Simmons
    Looking nice for who?
    Maybe some of us like to look “nice” for the sake of looking nice. I mean, it’s a choice, built upon one’s love of beauty. I may make a beautiful painting, but I won’t really look at it much once I’m finished. On the other hand, I hope people will look at it and think that it’s beautiful. Others will just walk on by. At the end of the day, I suppose I’m trying to look nice purely for myself, but, since I don’t look at myself in the mirror once I’m all dolled-up, I get into the feeling of looking nice…

  16. #16
    Breakin' social taboos TGMarla's Avatar
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    I try almost all the time to look my best. I'm definitely not out to attract a man, however, I admit that I'd be flattered if one thought I was pretty. I'm most assuredly doing this only for my own self-satisfaction. No doubt about it.

    Any money found in the laundry is MINE!


    "This is no social crisis....this is me having fun!"

    www.flickr.com/photos/tgmarla/

  17. #17
    Emerging Diva Nikki A.'s Avatar
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    I dress for no one but myself. However I try to look my best when going out so as not to embarass those who are with me.

  18. #18
    Making a life for Tina! suchacutie's Avatar
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    The first day I dressed it was for my wife as a bit of a lark. It became serious within 10 minutes and since then it's clear that the quality of Tina's presentation feeds back into her psyche as the feminine part of me. It took the better part of a year for my wife to instruct Tina sufficiently to have the makeup and fashion sense work. The fantastic metamorphosis of having the male me set aside and having Tina appear is really a psychological feedback loop. That's why Tina will forever want to look her best. Afterall, this IS my feminine self and she deserves to be the best she can be!

    oh...btw...I think the grammar would dictate that the title should be, " Looking nice for whom?" (sorry, Tina is obsessive-compulsive that way!).

  19. #19
    Platinum Member
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    Good question. I am past the age of trying to attract anyone, man or woman. I'm happily married. When I was in my mid twenties there were attempted pickup of me by men even while commuting on the subway with my wife sharing the same pole. I guess some guys when I was totally a good looking male at six foot two, 175 pounds, and a full head of blond hair thought I was desirable. Women, well the woman I am married to set her eyes on me even before I knew her. She says she was checking me out from afar, seeing how I interacted with others. I am assuming I was desirable.

    As to wearing those womanly garments? I know I have no inclination whatsoever to dress for anyone except myself. My dressing is solely geared for stress relief. I am finding my desire to dress has been diminishing because the stresses in my life have been diminishing. Yes, I still dress up, but, now it's somewhat of a low priority. I can see the day when the entire wardrobe is donated to Goodwill.

  20. #20
    New Member Mistress Roxy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kate Simmons View Post
    Many of us take a lot of time and effort to look nice en femme but who is it for really?
    My point of view (I am GG). When a crossdresser dresses for himself, she is actually looking for the sight of that man who was in her body just minutes (or hours LOL) ago. That’s why be pretty is so important for most of you. Women that you like are pretty.
    Last edited by Mistress Roxy; 10-08-2013 at 10:37 PM. Reason: grammar..im sorry
    Female. Dominant wife of a happy and sweet crossdresser.

  21. #21
    Gold Member Cynthia Anne's Avatar
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    I dress only for my number one fan! As long as she's happy I don't care what others think of me!
    If you don't like the way I'm livin', you just leave this long haired country girl alone:

  22. #22
    Silver Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    While speaking in a dark husky voice and making a flowery flowing gesture with an extended arm, "Why it's for my public, they adore me darling". Then I wake up.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  23. #23
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    I've actually done that Helen. BTW Tina, who was used purposely as it refers to persons.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  24. #24
    Member cdmorganashley's Avatar
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    i suppose i like to look as attractive as i can in male or female mode both for my own satisfaction and for the ego boost of being viewed as attractive in some way by others

  25. #25
    Senior Member robindee36's Avatar
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    Easy answer, I dress for my pleasure, for my personal satisfaction. The feelings that come with looking attractive as a female (within personal limitations of course are precious. Not trying to attract men, but positive reactions are quite flattering. Positive reactions from other Tgirls are more satisfying, but that is what we do I guess.

    I have always wanted to be a girl, but this is as close as it is ever going to get. I accept that and just have fun with it. If we're not having fun, than we need to seek out a new avocation. I'm just so happy being a girl.

    Hugs, Robin

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