or maybe a lot of us pass (or blend) way better than we think we do. But, I can seriously only recall one of two times that I've ever seen another CD out and about, and that's only been because the ones I've seen have been overly flamboyant. As a 'gender fluid' person myself, you'd think I'd be more sensitive. Any one else feel the same way?
I think that there are relatively few of us, perhaps one in 1000, so its a bit like finding a needle in a haystack. Second, most of us are so busy with our own lives (CDrs included) that we seldom really notice other people.
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.
Eleanor Roosevelt
I feel the opposite on both accounts based on the composite of my experiences. I am very active in the large local cd/ts group and trans community. Judging from that group of well over 100, a large majority do not pass, a few successfully blend and only several would pass scrutiny upon interacting with others (what I call presenting). Very few of the cross dressers go out into the mainstream or, if they do, it is a quick hit and run type of outing with little or no interaction with others. Also, of the ones that are more out, nearly all are instantly readable. I am out a lot due to work and personal activities, and I have never knowingly seen a cross dresser. There have been a few women I have wondered about, but a closer look made me lean more towards her being a GG. There is an almost unresolvable paradox present. I do not know how many have escaped my detection or notice (i.e., they "passed"), thus there is no way of really knowing. Judging from the several hundred CDs and TSs I have met, there are only a very few I would not have read within 10 seconds and all were full-time transitioning (or transitioned). It becomes even more apparent when GGs are around (i.e., in public).
With us being thin on the surface and we do need to be a little self centered when out and about we are not likely to see many others.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
I have seen others when out, but my guess is, I've only noticed the ones who are on the end of some range and even then the way I feel is that they are a person just like anyone else. Someone may not look perfect to me, but also if they are in a crowd I don't see the rest of the people looking them over. So I think being an 'expert' I'm more critical of the details and it is hard to believe yourself, but when you go out, you will pass better then what you think.
Chickie
I think those that do make the effort to go out enfem prob are much more aware of their look and how they might blend, I mean after all it could be a difficult situation if we did get read in the wrong situation. I know Ive only seen a few as you say that seemed very obvious but never noticed any while shopping or out and about in my daily life.
I have seen one cross dresser in my community twice. Her attire was totally inappropriate for anyone. It was obvious she was trying to draw attention to herself. Frankly, she looked bad. This year I did see another cross dresser in a local Wal-Mart, who needed a lot more work on presentation, especially considering her size. I will give her credit for throwing caution to the wind, and, going out.
That's about it for thirty-six years. I probably am more aware of my surroundings than many others. I do people watch. I'm sure I have passed a sister who is very passable. However, the vast majority of men look like me, whether in a dress or not. I'm sure most who do not pass and know it limit their dressing to the home or safe environments. Society is not as open minded as many of us may think.
I have been in several public situations where I only suspected someone was a CD. But the key is they've probably learned to blend in wearing "location / situation appropriate" attire. Being a CD myself I've become attuned to recognize certain traits or mannerisms that don't seem quite right for a GG. An Adam's apple, for instance, is a dead giveaway. I think the most obvious would be someone in a discount store like Walmart dressed as if they were to attend a wedding. I saw one such person in a store who did all they could to dodge me because either they were uncomfortable or they knew that they aroused my curiousity and knew.
Cheryl
I guess that's my point: I try to dress to blend; I wonder if a lot of us blenders are reasonably successful, or more successful than we think.
What I have seen, and I think it's a good thing, are gender fluid/queer young people who aren't trying to "pass" but just being who they want to be.
Over many years, I have seen a few of us" Girls". Considering I live in the most densely populated area in the US, it's not surprising. Also the fact that they didn't blend in so well had a lot to do with it.
After searching my lingerie drawers, I have come to the conclusion that they lied. Ruffles don't have ridges. At least mine don't.
I agree with the others. We don't see many of us out and about because there appears to be very few of us that actually do go out, people are not always looking at others that pass by, most of us do dress to blend and for whatever reason that there might be. When seen by others, meaning actually looked at, then I think that most of us are read or at least look different enough to make them wonder what they just saw and that may just require a second glance to clarify the surprised jumbled state of their thought process.
Living in the San Francisco Bay area, I have seen several girls when out during the day and evening. There is one that comes with her SO, I assume, every rare once in awhile, to my local Starbuck's in the far suburbs for coffee always dressed with brightly colored simple cotton tops and long skirts. I watch the other customers when she comes in and they hardly ever give her more than a glance before returning to whatever they were doing before she entered. That is proof enough for me that even during they day, people in general just don't care.
Living in a rather conservative 'bedroom' community, there are just not a lot of us out and about locally. It may be all the dressers around here blend in perfectly or it may just be a total lack of us out and about. Hummm...it could also be I'm totally clueless when it comes to CD spotting.
Its a completely different story in the 'big city' near by. Lots of trans girls out, particularly by the evening's light. If you look very closely you might spot me in their companyAlso, on T-girl party night, you can spot lots of us at the local piano bar.
Other than this, I think Kim hit the nail on the head. We are a very small portion of humanity so just probability makes a CD spotting rare. I don't believe for a minute you're less sensitive than others. On the contrary, I think we are much more skilled in spotting another of our community. However, at day's end, this is not something I would waste a lot of brain power on Audrey.
Hugs, Robin
What was the color of the blouse on last female you passed on the interstate? Did the person you just passed on the sidewalk have on loafers or tie shoes? What color were his slacks? See you don't know. Many of us seem to be hung up with "Who is watching?" or "Will this or that be noticed?" Truth be known, unless your hair is on fire, or you are clomping around in 5 inch heel on hard wood floors, people for the most part don't look at other people. I really find it amusing that some are so hung up about being outed or clocked. If you don't set your hair on fire and leave the 5" heels in the closet you will probably do OK!
I agree with the majority who said "it is how you are dressed". While dressed in my male form I am embarrassed for the few I have seen ill-dressed. It is this kind of show that brings upon us bad notions of crossdressers. I have been shopping all morning today and cannot say I saw a CD. Now dressed in 4-5 inch heels-short skirt-boobs showing and hair everywhere...I would have remembered. Everyone just blended in. As others, I am a people watcher and these exhibitionists by the flamboyant few really rot my socks. I hope there are many of us out there who just blend in!
Here in N Scotland you see non-GGs out and about from time to time. Of course it is not possible to say who are TS and who are just men dressed up, like me. I am told that people don't notice I am male because I dress and move well. It is not that I look exactly like a woman - it is that people do not notice. I suspect that there are even more around than I notice.
I thought about this at the grocery the other night. People are so into their own little worlds you practically have to bump them over and knock their phone out of their hand to get their attention these days. I've only seen a few odd CDers/TGs here ever and that's 31 years that I've lived here. Maybe I'm not using my tranny radar? Hmm. No biggie really, if they pass that well more power to them.
Carla I tend to agree we do get hung up on what people see or don't see. I mean when I do my occasional walk in the park with no makup or wig but wearing my ladies shorts and tops I just go about my walk and try and forget if anyone is looking and I doubt many are even the ones I pass along the trail. I did have someone giggle as I went by but I just kept walking along. It's a little unnerving but I like wearing what I do when I walk
This is something I consider odd. We live in a very rural area and you might presume that transgendered expression is nonexistent. That's not exactly true. My wife is always the first to spot the occasional MTF that I would have never given a second glance on my own. The oddity is that I am the one who always notices local transmen who are more open and full time with their lifestyle than any MTF we encounter.
We travel travel quite a bit throughout North America. We have definitely encountered more transgendered people in the larger East Coast cities, and other cities with larger colleges and universities than anywhere else. Still, regardless of location, my wife's keen eye and "trans-radar" is far more sensitive than mine.
Someone else's imagination is a terrible thing to waste.
I have never seen anybody out dressed. Either they blend in well or they stay home. I always look at cute women to check out what they are wearing and how it would look on me.
So let them read me, I don't care. I usually dress to blend, try to carry myself in as feminine fashion as possible, try to pass. I get clocked anyway. It's not going to send me into the closet, just make me work on the presentation a little more. I enjoy going out, and occasionally go shopping with another "girl". Next to her, I look like a schlub, but I keep going. I'm on hrt, so I need to perfect (or as much as possible) my presentation. I know I'm never going to be the woman in my mind's eye, but I'll never stop striving to emulate her.
Hugs,
Leah
Be nice; It don't cost nothing.
I suspect there's a higher percentage of public CD here than on other forums. The others that I've frequented have done surveys on members and each time, less than 20% were out in public. So it's no wonder you don't see many about, and those who are represent just the small tip of the CD iceberg.
Really,no one here should feel alone or weird as CD is more common than realized. I am a member of one wives group whose statistics show that my neighbor, doctor or dentist could be on here, lol.
Hence the reason I'll never have a profile photo
Recently I was at an informal type festival and there were several cds there,but I didn't notice them until the guy I was hanging out with(he doesn't know I dress)pointed them out to me.I couldn't help but think how ironic it was that he would read them and I wouldn't.
I've bumped into some Cd(s) a few times, such as train station, cafes, stores, or main streets. Maybe because I'm one too that I could recognize them immediately. A few of them did dress inappropriately for the time of day, & several were easily read by passersby too. And I have this CD friend that she dresses so provocatively that she enjoys all the stares & remarks that go her way!! So I guess that's her thrill for dressing up & going out. Simply put, there are many types within the CD spectrum, some just want to blend & some just want the thrill!!
will my dream ever come true??
In my daily life, I seldom run into women I would suspect are crossdressers. I can only count one and that was perhaps thirty years ago asking the clerk at a drugstore for makeup advice (she declined to help). I saw what I assume is a transsexual at the beauty school once. She had breasts (and was very proud of them) but other wise was very tall, skinny, and had an adams apple. She was attractive and other customers referred to her as "she".
So, either crossdressers in my area are few and far between or they blend very well.
[SIGPIC]http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=82706&dateline=137762 0356[/SIGPIC]Linda
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