I thought someone here said TS were defined by transition... but now there can be transitioned non-TS people? So what are we left with to prove we are TS?
As if we needed to prove it... ( to others here, lol)
I thought someone here said TS were defined by transition... but now there can be transitioned non-TS people? So what are we left with to prove we are TS?
As if we needed to prove it... ( to others here, lol)
I'm not prepared to say that Kane is a good example of a person who bypasses care standards, I don't see a lot of similarities between him and for example Christine Daniels. I know people on this site who have bypassed care standards and they seem to be doing just fine, even as much that if I disagree with some of their statements I still admire their achievements.
There is an element of chance and luck in life no matter the endeavor. Best laid plans are important but being realistic and eyes open regarding reality and how severe the stakes are is very important. Doubt and fear of failure is important. Not having doubt isn't the mark of a ts, it seems to me that doubt and fear of failure is the fuel for the motivation that makes someone become a juggernaut.
Love the quote lea but it isn't actually a Buddhist quote, it's from the Freemasons.
Last edited by mary something; 10-25-2013 at 11:31 PM.
"In our lives, change is unavoidable, loss is unavoidable. In the adaptability and ease with which we experience change, lies our happiness and freedom."
"My actual gender identity emerged as I healed from the scars of childhood not because of those scars" - Kelly J
The only WTF moment I've had is regarding how could I possibly have squandered all those years of my life, living the role of an actor in a very bad movie. I truly would walk across hot coals to keep this happening if I had to, or pull the plug if I was forced to "go back." Seriously. No going back, ever.
[later:
WoW - I make a point of trying not to look too closely at foregoing posts so as not to unduly color what I was attempting to convey to the OP with the opinions of others. Early on in my transition, like the first three months or so, I kept a small, hand-written journal, started when I was really, fully back in the "shell" that I lived in. I was a manic-depressive crazy person writhing in the throes of GD.
What I've now come to understand is that I was testing the hypothesis that I had actually discovered my genuine self, and that transition was the only way out. So, to be more precise, I did have questioning moments back then, but in my mind, this thread's use of "WTF," and its inclusion of the expletive seems to imply a major reversal, rather than a justifiable, rigorous test of my transition hypothesis.
I think that, early on, anyone who would dare to consider transition, would and should have repeated, critical examinations of the premise that they are indeed truly trans, all as part of being absolutely sure that they're doing the right thing. Should one think about how far along in the process of transition does the realization that it's not for you constitute a "de-transition?" After the first dose of spiro? After the first exposure to estradiol? After several doses? After some amount of time? After you develop breasts? Seems to me it's very personal, and individually unique as to what point it changes from a decision not to proceed, and a true reversal.
Love and kindness to you all. We all need lots of that, no?
))0(( Ann ))0((
]
Last edited by Ann Louise; 10-26-2013 at 12:11 AM.
✻ღϠ₡ღ✻ Ϡ₡Ϡ₡Ϡ₡Ϡ₡Ϡ₡✻ ღϠ₡ღ✻
No One Can Make You Feel Inferior Without Your Consent
I forgot what I wanted to say! lolOriginally Posted by Marleena
I think it has all been said by others anyway.
Not knowing who I am, and possible being just a dumb tranny (the verdict has yet to handed down from on-high) I've tried to steer clear on this one. Yet I have this recurring thought which I will share. I think about a person who has de-transitioned, enduring all the unimaginable (for me) agony that entails, and I picture her visiting her therapist. Should she be met with scorn and derision and called a failure and fraud? Or should she be greeted with love, kindness, empathy and understanding? I know my answer. Beware of judging another when you cannot imagine what it is like to walk in her shoes ... that's all I'm saying.
Lol.. you had nothing? I'm glad I left when I did then.
Good Morning
I put up a reply earlier, which Tamara deleted. I have sent her an apology, and in case anyone here read it prior to it being nuked I also offer you an apology.
I started the post with a quote from Last of the Mohecans "Do not try to understand them, and do not try to make them understand you, for they are a people apart and their ways make no sense.
A couple of years ago I put up a frightened post http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...ubt&highlight= about having a panic attack when I realized that I was moving into a brand new reality. I received a number of supportive replies, from a number of wonderful women. It probably kept me from throwing in the towel, running back into a bottle, or becoming one of the statistics who tried a .38 headache tablet. I am very gratefull for the help and support they gave.
I don't understand the level of venom I saw in a couple of these posts.
Rachael
Going back? Back where? For me, there is and always was only one direction to go. Full steam ahead. Go until you hear the glass brake. Guess what? That glass hasn't broke yet, after 30+ years.
Wow. I step away for a few days and this thread goes in all sorts of directions. I will have to read it all before responding more ...
Ali Edwards
Transgender Science ~ Blogging with WrodPress ~ Tweeting on Twitter
"I am half-sick of shadows," said / The Lady of Shalott.
I love your attitude Jorja.
Last edited by Rianna Humble; 10-28-2013 at 04:19 PM. Reason: Please do not quote a whole post just to add 5 words
In my mind there is no going back because everyone knows. I will always be this and I cannot undo it. It is less a case of me changing into something that can be changed back I was always like this I just kept everyone from knowing. Well now they know. Changing my body is just the smallest part. Like losing weight or a new hairdo or coloring the hair. That is all superficial and is only a visual thing. Inside I am not changing at all. I am just not hiding anymore. As I said before there is nothing to change back to.
All I ever wanted was to be a girl. Is that really asking too much?
Quite the thread indeed. Fascinating, if at times fiery, discussion. Really good points made by several people on both or every side that's being debated. I think this simply shows transition isn't as black and white as some may think; many shades of gray (at least fifty *snicker*).
Not knowing the people who de-transitioned or their reasons for doing so, I can't, nor would, judge them. Did the system fail? Maybe. Did the transitioners in question fail themselves? Maybe. There are too many variables to consider that frankly I'm surprised anyone would see their situations as black and white, even if they are a seemingly well educated mentor. I've always been under the impression that the more educated you are the less black and white you see the world. Depends on the person, I suppose.
I've often posted my own doubts on whether I'm trans or not and have only recently accepted that I am. As transitioning is such a massive decision it only seems natural that one would question themselves and have several WTF moments (I'm having them already). As previously mentioned we're all capable of rational thought and as our situations are all different, again it makes sense that our transitions themselves will also be different. We'll naturally have some commonalities but will likely approach transition in our own way, reaching various milestones at different times and approach challenges differently (some more gracefully than others). Considering these differences I think it's fair to say that some may get further into their transition than others before they realize that this isn't right for them and retreat. Granted if they don't reach that conclusion until being post-op then I'd also scratch my head wondering why it took so long for them to come to this realization. Regardless, I don't think this necessarily means they were never trans in the first place and feel it's wrong to judge them as such.
If transsexualism is black and white then why bother allowing it to exist in the first place? We should just go back to the simple binary gender, male and female with no continuum. But wait, that doesn't work because we know gender is a continuum, wouldn't it be reasonable to say transsexualism is the same?
Personally I hope to never find myself in their position and that deciding to transition is right for me. Won't know until I actually begin though and even then I may not know until some point in the transition...hopefully sooner (MUCH sooner) than SRS though.
Having said all that, despite wanting SRS more than any other transitional procedure, after-care sounds messy, painful and annoying. Does being afraid of blood and having a low pain tolerance mean I'm not trans? God I hope so as I'd rather all this trans and GD stuff just go away and leave me alone!
Last edited by dreamer_2.0; 10-28-2013 at 01:59 PM.
Going back... to what... Yep, good question.
I am on an important cusp. The next step for me would be legal name change, which I feel I would like to do. But it is also the step that will "out" me to the world at large, beyond the people of the city I live in. Friends, relatives, many professional contacts... So I need to be certain this is the right thing for me to do.
But if I decide not to, then what is the alternative? The cork is out of the champagne bottle and it ain't never going back in again. At best, then, it would be trying to live "Gender Queer", keep the legal identity and clench my fists when people use it. Like going into a bakery and seeing a beautiful pastry but buying the hamburg buns instead because they are "safer", and every bite of the hamburg buns, be acutely aware that I could have had the pastry if I had only dared to.
Hi Sandra
I told a friend of mine (genetic girl) about the possability of going back, she sort of smirked, and said "OK so how did ramming the Genie back into the lamp work for you that two or three hundred times you tried"?
Ouch
But when the only choice is to pour the champagne into a lovely new glass, my "think outside the box" brain says, "Oh, but you could let it dry up instead." (Geez, Brain, can't you shut up for a while?)
Drink the champagne. Maybe that'll help the brain shut up for a bit.
Last edited by Rianna Humble; 10-28-2013 at 04:22 PM. Reason: Please don't quote the entire preceding post
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