OMG-Just outed myself at work

[Veronnie2]

OMG, I just outed myself to a fellow co-worker at my office. I made a major mistake thinking I was alone in the bathroom. I was in a washroom stall adjusting a stocking to my garter strap and did not notice the door became ajar. A fellow co-worker walked by and looked in and saw me and my stocking process. I tried to wait until he left but he waited for me to venture out to see who it was. He saw me and just smiled. Now I am worried he will blab to everyone what he saw. He has now walked past my office twice and just glanced my way and smiled both times. I am really nervous about this, but it was all my fault for not being extra cautious. Anyone else have something like this happen to them? What did you do to react? Veronnie2---Veronnica

[Rachael Leigh]

Not sure what kind of work you do but something like this is exactly why I don't undersdress at work, just don't care to have that happen. I much perfer to tell people who I trust

[Julie Gaum]

Never happened when I underdressed at work for many years but I would venture one suggestion: Call him in your office the next time he goes by and close the door --- if there is one, otherwise catch up with him at lunch or after work. Ask him whether your clothing makes him uncomfortable. Tell him that millions of others do it from bank presidents to college professors, from truckdrivers to coal miners and so on.
I think you just might get a positive response from him. In no case should you act defensive or antagonastic. That's one suggestion.
Julie

[UNDERDRESSER]

Was it particularly lacy? if not, you could try telling him they are support hose, and they are recommended by your doctor? Many men need support hose, and more than a few use garter belts because tights or hold ups are unsuitable.

[kimdl93]

I'd suggest you ask him to sit down and talk about what he may have seen and ask for his discretion.

[Dianne S]

I would say nothing unless your coworker says something to you or to someone else first.

[Candice Mae]

This is why I never understand why people under dress, if your so worried about the implications of some on finding out why do it? Its almost like playing Russian roulette, eventually some one will find out it is only a matter of time. If you don't want to be outed stay behind closed doors. Its practicality impossible to hide what your wearing under neath at all times, you can't be the guy always wearing a jacket for ever.

[~Joanne~]

That's why I hesitate about under dressing. You never know when your shirt may rise too high or your pants may sag a little. Just enough for someone you hardly know to catch a glimpse and start talking. Sorry to hear this happened to you. Yes you should have been more careful but things happen. I some what agree with the other girls, take this person to the side or you may just want to let it ride. In a way, taking him to the side might be a sign that your ashamed of wearing them and that may only make it worse.

[Veronnie2]

Julie, thank you for your input. I think it may be the best approach. Again, thank you hon...veronnica

[Miss Trish]

I read your post a few times and a few things hit me.
1.Is he the type of person who would out you or purposely use it to harm you?
2. He keeps going by your office and smiling, is he interested?
3. Is he a CD

If he's not the office jerk, it seems strange that he would keep going by and smiling at you.

[stephNE]

I have underdressed for many years and never had anything like this happen.
If someone says anything, remember what Bill Clinton taught us- just keep telling them it didn't happen.

[LaLaChic]

Are you married? If he ever says anything to you, tell him you lost a bet to your wife and that was the punishment. Or you can tell him that stockings make you feel pretty. End of conversation.

[Vanessa01]

oups ! good luck with everything !

[Cynthia Anne]

As they say ! If you play with fire you are bound to get burned! I've heard enough of that!
I think Julie is leading you on the right path! GOOD LUCK!

[heatherdress]

Don't do anything, don't say anything. If he brings it up or says anything, simply say it was a dare or a bet. The more you react, the more attention you might gain. It is really no one else's business anyway.

[arbon]

Several years ago I had to do some work from home and accidentally attached a personal file to a work related email that i sent to a vendor my company has worked with for ages . It was really unfortunate as it was the first time I had ever written about how I felt in that file. I had always been to afraid to even write it for fear somehow someone would read it, and the first time I do what happens? The vendor called me a little bit later and said the file I sent was not what they expected, I asked what the file name was that they got and I just about died when they told me. She said "they" got a good laugh though. I did not know what to say, i just wanted to die at that moment in my life.

In the file it really just said that when I was a child I wished I was a girl (condensed version)

Oh well, it all worked out. that outing is what opened the door for me to transition.


Probably best for you not to mention it what happened to you unless someone else you work with brings it up, and then you will either have to lie or own it.

[Amy Lynn3]

Deny, deny, deny, deny, especially if he ever brings it up. Time is in your favor, because they don't remember the details of what they saw. It is never what they think they saw. Some of my macho friends discovered I was wearing a bra under my shirt one day. They think they saw the outline of a bra, but it turned out to be a back brace I wore now and again for a back problem.

I did not get upset about it, but told them a car crash left me in bad shape (no lie there) however, I did have on a bra. Now, they had to pick what they wanted to believe....my story or the eyes that lied to them. I never heard any more about the issue.

[Jackie7]

I understand this could be a sensitive situation, but walking past your office and smiling does not seem hostile. If he didn't seem hostile to you, you could just wait until next time he smiles your way again, whereupon you could smile right back with a wink. It probably will end right there, but you might find a new friend. On the other hand, if there is a risk of hostility, don't do anything or say anything until and unless he comes to you to talk, which is rather unlikely to occur. My hard-earned 2 centavos.

[CarlaWestin]

Don't even give it a second thought and there's no need to lie about anything. Carry on like nothing happened because nothing happened. If the issue comes up in conversattion, ask if he has a problem with someone else's protected rights. I doubt anyone wants to create an issue in this day and age of employment difficulties. And I wouldn't hesitate to use the law to draw a line in the sand. These days, anyone that has a derogatory, prejudice attitude about gender expression is an imbicile.

[Karren H]

run and tell him you lost a bet.... that always works .... I shave underdressed on and off and never had that happen.... I even did full transformations. In the mens restroom over lunch... ahhh. The good old days....

[Rhonda Darling]

I have underdressed for many years and never had anything like this happen.
If someone says anything, remember what Bill Clinton taught us- just keep telling them it didn't happen.

I second StephNE's approach. No pictures? It never happened. Former President Clinton, actually, almost any politician you can name these days, rely on the average attention span being infinitesimal and people not knowing how to react when told they didn't actually see what they really saw with their own eyes. Don't waiver, don't blush, don't give an inch. Just say: "What the F are you talking about? Are you crazy? Why would you say such a thing?"

JUST ADDED AN ADDITIONAL THOUGHT: If he raises it in any sort of hostile or threatening way, ask him how long he's had his habit of looking into occupied bathroom stalls, and does that give him a thrill. That he should be happy you chose to not report his invasion of privacy to Human Resources.

Your mileage may differ.

Best,
Rhonda

[Elisa Lace]

If it somehow comes to it being somewhat awkward, the bet route is by far the best. You can always say something like "That bet with my wife really paid off last night! But man, wearing a garter belt is definitely not as comfortable as they make it look!". Brush it off like it was nothing and just move on.

[TxCassie]

I have underdress at work a few times but I haven't made it a habit. For reasons stated, I know something just would happen like it happen to you Veronica. I say, do nothing in the short run. However, after some time has passed and there is an opportunity that presents itself where you and your co-worker are alone and you can talk safely, you may be prepared to address what he saw. Otherwise, I would not go out of my way to create anymore that what it is, a brief citing that really doesn't mean anything to anyone but you. If your co-worker continues to pass, smile, or wink or if he begins to make remarks, then you may have to make it a point to have a private conversation with him. He may be "interested in CD", may just like it, or he just may be a jerk and like to know the private nic-naks of everyone in the office.

However, If he gets out of hand, it may be time to consult HR about the harassment. I doubt your HR department will be interested in the intimate apparel you wear but would be, should be interested in an employee who may be experiencing sexual harassment, or a hostile work environment

Be clam dear, and but be aware.

Cassie

[AmandaM]

I had on a red, flowery dress one time. When I went by the front window I think my neighbor could see me. So later I had stuff to do in the garage. I put on my red Hawaiian shirt in drab. He was out again and kept staring at me, like he wasn't sure. LOL.

[bianncats]

just let it go...if the other person wants to say something he will. if not you escaped....