my wife found my things and knows but its not pressing the issue. i dont know if i should wait till she does or if i should just bring it up i cant tell how she is dealing with it or if she is ok and waiting for me to open up any help?
my wife found my things and knows but its not pressing the issue. i dont know if i should wait till she does or if i should just bring it up i cant tell how she is dealing with it or if she is ok and waiting for me to open up any help?
You should probably talk to her, she may have all the wrong ideas. Better to get the truth out.
The minute you think of giving up think of the reason you held on for so long
I must agree with Kelly on this. it better that she knows, and doesn't think there is something else going on, best to you girl.hugs
[SIZE="3"][/SIZE][SIZE="3"]Stacy Lynn Coral[/SIZE]
there in lies the problem when she is dealing with an issue she will seem to ignore it (to me) untill she come to terms to it or has a solution to it. If press press the issue now i might make it worse
How do you know she found your things, did she leave them where they wear, if so I think it will be best for you to come to her and talk now. She knows, but what does she think, time to talk and get things straight for both of you.
biggest problem i have at this point is i orders something for halloween that she knows about that we were going to go out as together and she was fine with it but now im now so sure im just lost
I would broach the subject. It's never easy.. Good luck, my thoughts will be with you. Hugs
Follow your path.. For only you can decide, which way to go.
Originally Posted by marshalynn
she found there when i hid them and brought them to me and said put them somewhere else. nothing other than that but i am and have always been at a loss when dealing with women lol
Can you ask her in away that will give her the chance to come to terms with it on her own if she chooses? Something like, "I know you found my stuff, can I answer any questions you have? " She'd know you're willing to talk.
might have to try i dont know what else to do
just freaking out right now sorry for the questions you have all probably answered a million times
Last edited by Di; 10-29-2013 at 06:33 PM.
just curious, Where did she find them ? Where would she like you to put them ? She did not ask you to throw them away ? How long have you been married ? A lot of times talking early is a big help.
spare room where i hid them on the back of the closet and to put them in our room somewhere which makes me think its a goods thing but we have only been married 2 years. which kind of scare me and make me think i should have brought it up earlier
Never easy coming clean with this and your spouse but I would say now is a good time. It will never be easy and if she's not ok with it well than you need to understand her boundaries
guess its tomorow after work then. i dont know what else to do wish me luck hope im not going for a divorce. thanks for semi calming me down.
Talk to her, NOW. Right now. She is thinking for sure, don't let lack of information guide her.
It would seem to me she has known for some time you were crossdressing, as per your comment, when she found your cloths. She found them in the back of a closet and wanted them brought to the master bedroom. That is what I gather from your post.
Lets assume she has known this for some time now. WOW ! She has been dealing with this all by herself and no answers from you. I would recommend what Cindia advised you to do. Just tell her....we need to talk and say: I know you found my things and I do not want you dealing with this by yourself. I want to answer any and all questions you might have, either now or in the furture. Tell her it is something that is part of you and it will never go away, but you, in know way want to hurt her. Be open and honest with her. You can't go back and change things, but do all the damage control you can, for her sake and yours. Above all assure her you love her and in no way will this ever come between you and the love you have for her. Whatever you can do to make her happy, do it and show her, that her being happy in this marriage is the most imortant thing in the world. Good luck and keep us posted. We care !
How long has this been going on?
While you withold information your wife's mind is being slowly destroyed by her own imagination.
If she does not know anything about dressing, tell her before she gets the wrong advice from elsewhere.
For example. Pervert, changing sex, gay, other women.
Have I painted enough of the picture for you.
Do something now, before it is too late.
I do not think I am being too dramatic either.
Others here have already told you how to go about it.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Amy Lynn3 said it all the bell has been rung you can't change that now be sweet and have that talk
Good luck cdazan. At a minimum let her know you are willing to talk should she want to.
I think you should tell her Azan, before she starts to fill in the blanks by herself. You wouldn't want her to think that you're having an affair and these are another woman's clothes, do you.
I agree, it is much easier to broach the subject before a wife finds the stash. Now she will feel even more lied to. So when you tell her, please do tell your reasons for not wanting to have told her before, which are perfectly understandable reasons. But be prepared for lots of questions and possibly tears.
Reine
RRuunnnnnn!!!!!! As fast as you can. Maybe stop along the way and buy her some flowers, a nice bottle of wine (that she likes) and plan a romantic dinner to set the stage for ..... are you ready?? ..... for ...... "The TALK"! Getting it out in the open makes life a lot easier for both of you. That way you won't be wondering what she is thinking and you can make sure she is getting the correct and "truthful" information. Good luck.
NOW, NOW, NOW
As most say here, you need to have a chat about your life NOW, and include a future with her, in the chat.
If you wait, expect a communication from her divorce lawyer implying your a gay prostitute or worse.
Best of luck
See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
http://rachelsauckland.blogspot.co.nz
You definitely need to talk to her not only to get it out there but to set boundaries with your CDing. My wife discovered my CD habit when she caught me trying on a skirt of hers. It wasn't easy confronting the truth but it had to be done (I really had no defense). Be honest, even if your hiding clothes may not have seemed very honest to her. You owe it to her to discuss your feelings and listen to hers. Not all SOs are the same so there's no guarantee what the outcome will be, but I do wish you the best because it's one of the toughest things to do. Hopefully it works out for both of you.
You hit it on the head. My wife knows about my CDing but came across my stash a few days ago. She told me as long as they don't belong to another woman, she could care less what I wore in my free time. I promised her they didn't -- they are indeed mine. It's also a way to break the ice on the topic of CDing, meaning I no longer have to hide my things much anymore. She's fine with it, and I'm so lucky to have her.
Last edited by Di; 10-30-2013 at 07:59 AM.
In Jennifer's signature (post #15) is a link to a thread "how to tell your wife". READ IT!!! You need to talk to her. You can't let it sweep under the carpet otherwise it becomes even more of an issue and as Reine said, she will start to try and fill in the blanks with either her imagination or what she finds on the internet. Neither is likely to be helpful for you.
i think the best bet is to bring it up at a neutral time (after work, after dinner, but well before bedtime, when you have some time to talk... screw up all your courage!). Ask her if she would like to talk about the clothing she found, and whether she has any questions about it. i agree with Beverly Sims that her imagination is probably your worst enemy.
"You say, 'There's not a lot of me, left anymore- just leave it alone...'" (Tori Amos)
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