Is CDing like a drug addiction?

[Katie Russell]

I have read number of posts on this forum and there does seem to be a common thread. It seems that most of us start at a young age with a fascination for female clothes.

Then through our teenage years we then 'borrow' clothes from a female relatives. This normally give us some sexual gratification.

We then progress to buying our own clothes, make up, wigs, forms and finally going out in public.

Each stage is a progression from the last and each stage becomes more thrilling than the last.

I know how my heart raced when I bought my first item of women's clothing. And I know that each time I go shopping I get the same buzz.

I've read thread about girls who've gone out in pubic for the first time and how it makes them feel. I know that I fantasise about it.

Is this buzz the reason why we CD? Is there something released in our brains that stimulates us to go further each time? Like drug addicts once we've reached a certain level we need to go further for that extra high.

Do we need to CD to release this chemical? Is that what makes us feel so good? Lots of you say how relaxed you feel after CDing.

I've read posts for girls who've purged (gone cold turkey) and like an addiction have gone back to it.

If we dressed as a woman full time do we lose that buzz once it becomes mundane. I don't know but I think the reason we keep pushing the boundaries is to keep getting that adrenaline hit.

I've never been able to find any research on the web that explains why we CD. It only really vaguely mentions about how our brains are wired but never that we are adrenalin junkies.

If anyone has any thoughts on the subject I'd be interested to know.

Katie.

[Karren H]

No.... You can be a recovering drug addict.... you can never recover from this.....

[Dianne S]

No.... You can be a recovering drug addict.... you can never recover from this.....

Hah! Too true.

CDing is addictive, but the activity itself is far less harmful to your health than most drugs... so it's a relatively harmless addiction.

I do think the desire increases as one gets older as part of a feedback loop. Our brains are plastic and adjust to reinforce the desire to do things we already like to do.

[Katie Russell]

Hi Karren

It can still be an addiction that we keep having to feed by going further and further. Are there any recovering CDers? I don't have any experience of drug addicts but I know plenty of ex-smokers who are one cigarette away from starting again. Is CDing psychological or physiological or a combination of the two?

Katie

[Robbin_Sinclair]

.........Each stage is a progression from the last and each stage becomes more thrilling than the last....Is there something released in our brains that stimulates us to go further each time? Like drug addicts once we've reached a certain level we need to go further for that extra high.....Do we need to CD to release this chemical? .... I've never been able to find any research on the web that explains why we CD....Katie.

From my empirical studies (drug addicted and now 12 stepper), nothing is thrilling about that last hit with dope. You know you shouldn't have it but you know you have to have it. It sucks.

Does it release a chemical? Probably but who really knows? It does reinforce a positive feeling for me. I can let it become a sexual thing but I try to avoid that.

For me, the thrill of just putting on a favorite comfortable skirt and top, preferably made from scratch in my studio is enough. If I had companionship to got out to a place in a tolerant location, I can hold my own with the make up, pantyhose and high heels.

Otherwise it's ballet slippers and a positive fem attitude, reinforced by meditation. Ever notice how feminine some Buddhist icons can look? That's where I want to be.

namaste rbbn

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Katie, Karen nailed it on this one.

[Cynthia Anne]

I never thought I was addicted to anything! Now you tell me that I am! And wouldn't you know it! It's something that there's no cure for! Just my luck!

[Lexi Moralas]

This I tough question

[sometimes_miss]

No.... You can be a recovering drug addict.... you can never recover from this.....

Many drug and alcohol addicts never really recover either; they're simply addicts that don't indulge their addiction TODAY. We take it one day at a time. So, recover from crossdressing, well, some of us, we sort of can. But it's not easy. It's as simple as admitting that I want to, but won't do it.....today. Fortunately, I've found that I can usually get by as long as I have some sort of source of physical affection; whether free, or paid for, doesn't matter. I'm going on five months with no CDing. Watch this space for updates. I have days where I really really really really want to, and not doing so takes all my strength; keeping my 'stash' in a storage unit helps, as it will take a lot to go there, park, go up a flight of stairs, open up the sliding door and then dig through everything to get exactly what I want. By not 'purging', I don't buy anything new, as I already own virtually everything I want. It's like wanting anything else; just do something to keep your mind busy on something else, keep busy, tell yourself if you really really need to, you'll do it tomorrow. Then see how you feel in the morning. Remind yourself that no one ever died from not crossdressing for a day, and you'll realize how irrational the need for immediate gratification of this desire really is. For all of you hoping to quit, try this. It's not easy. But I think it can be done.

[Lori Kurtz]

For me, CDing was definitely like a drug addiction. It was a high, a rush, and I have no doubt that there were measurable physiological and chemical changes in my body when I would do it. The pounding of my heart, the butterflies in my stomach ... it was a powerful and wonderful feeling. It always culminated in sexual satisfaction, which in itself, as we all know, involves releases of pleasure-related chemicals. CDing was such a powerful urge, in an addiction-similar way, that it made me take foolish risks sometimes, and it cost me a marriage. There was shame and guilt involved with it, and yet I did it anyway. The excitement about the whole thing is part of why I'm here now, even though I don't dress up anymore. And if I could be the shapely, sexy, young babe I used to enjoy becoming, I'd probably do it today. Another reason why I'm here now, though, is to help deal with those feelings of shame and guilt. It helps to hear from others who have gone through similar things to what I have gone through, or who experience other variations of the CD/TS spectrum, and to be in an environment that is compassionate and accepting of things that many people have a hard time with.

[linda allen]

Crossdressing is not an addiction. There's no chemical dependence like there is with drugs, cigatettes or alcohol. It's something you like to do, similar to playing golf, fishing, etc. Some folks take it to extremes just as some folks do with other activities.

[Katie Russell]

Hi Linda

I'm not sure CDing can be equated to other pastimes such as golf or fishing. I used to play football but I never had the same compulsion to go out and play football as I do with CDing. I think the dependency comes from the feeling it give us and the need to keep having that feeling. There are adrenaline junkies who keep pushing the limits as many CDers do.

I think that there is some mileage in the way are brains are wired that we have the desire to express the feminine side of our personalities but the pushing of the boundaries is to do with the way it makes us feel. We need to keep pushing the boundaries as we get immune to the way we feel (dressing is not enough I now need to get out). May be we can reach a point where we have a happy balance but reading how many girls rush ahead once they got the green light from their SO is amazing. The 'pink fog' is not rational so there must be other reasons behind it.

Katie

[Sarah Beth]

The thought that I might be addicted to cross dressing brought out the researcher in me, naturally I had to act upon the idea. So I went to look up what addiction was. According to Psychology Today “Addiction is a condition that results when a person ingests a substance (alcohol, cocaine, nicotine) or engages in an activity (gambling) that can be pleasurable but the continued use of which becomes compulsive and interferes with ordinary life responsibilities, such as work or relationships, or health. Users may not be aware that their behavior is out of control and causing problems for themselves and others Well I certainly am not ingesting anything but I am engaging in an activity that I do find pleasurable. I can’t say that at times my cross dressing doesn’t interfere somewhat in my life responsibilities. Sometimes I have had to make a decision between putting in that next nail or adjusting my bra strap. It has in the past most certainly affected my relationship with my wife and could do the same currently with others around me, but as far as I know currently isn't. My cross dressing isnt' out of control, at least I don't think so. Myabe it is and I'm just not aware of it. So then I have to ask, as the defintion says, have gone in to that compulsive stage?

So what then is a compulsion? Watch out here comes the definition “a strong, usually irresistible impulse to perform an act, especially one that is irrational or contrary to one’s will.” Is that true of me? At times maybe it is, because sometimes I just can't help slipping into something feminine, like right now in my bra, panties, stockings, skirt and top. I got up this morning and just had to slip out of my nighty and into something comfortable to do my book work in. (yes you found me out I am certainly not doing my book work). Honestly, however, other than the fact that some folks out there might find my doing so irrational I don’t, well at least not completely, and certainly how I'm dressed right now isn’t against my will. I have enough will power not to do it, just like I found the will power to not smoke anymore. See I do know what it’s like to have an addiction. Its not irresistable, I mean I could have resisted getting dressed as I am right now but I just didn't want to. I mean I didn't want to ressit, really its not that I couldn't resist I just didn't want ot.

There was another thought in my mind about this point and that was is my dressing an obsession. After all don't obsessive and compulsive go hand in had? If you haven’t figured it out by now, I have to look up definitions so I am sure of my footing. It’s like trying out some new heels how are they are going to feel when you get your feet on the ground, are they going to be stable enough to walk in? Well then obsession is “domination of one’s thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire,etc..” After asking myself was this true of me I answered well not it isn’t. The mere fact that yesterday while hanging perilously off the peak of a very steep roof I was not thinking at all, about cross dressing, nor did I have any image in my head of anything remotely related to being in a dress or a bra or panties. Well that is until I saw that woman across the street in that really cute skirt and got to wondering where she got it and what I would look like in it. To say nothing of her shoes and that sweet looking jacket she had on. No there is no persistance at all the images I have in my head of things feminine.

After much thought, and process I then have come to the conclusion that, even though I am in denial and if anyone on the street askes me if I am a cross dresser I'm going to deny it, I am an obsessive, compulsive personality, addicted to cross dressing. However, all in the mild form, I mean I am not ready for a long stint in rehab just yet. Or is it just that I am in denial?

[Chickhe]

I don't think it is CDing that is addicting. I think it is the defense mechanism that many build up to protect their ego that turns in to a cycle of repression and release. The stress builds up adrenaline and that gives you a bit of a high and then there is a some reduced happiness as things go back to normal. If you can get past all inner turmoil and accept yourself, it turns out that there is less swing in your emotions and CDing is just like any other hobby. I've experienced this myself.

[Trishpdxcd2]

I am not sure about addicting, but there is probably a chemical base for it. I know I feel that rush of euphoria when I dress and I am guessing that is a release of dopamine...

[Wildaboutheels]

MALE Orgasms and the ease with which most men can have them are what keep Humans on the planet. Of course they are addictive. Females simply provide the eggs and Os for them are pretty much irrelevant to the equation.

Female clothing is normally an AID to Os for probably 99% of all male CDers. [at least at some point in their journey] The math is simple here and undeniable.

We are NOT talking granny dresses and flats which is why you won't find hookers wearing them or pics of such in the photo gallery.

A good # at this Forum felt guilt or shame at some point obviously, which likely prompted many to move on to/into "full" dressing and away from Os especially as they aged.

[dominique]

I agree with Katie that there's got to be something chemical in our make up (no pun intended) that wants us to go that bit further and never loose that feeling. When I've stopped dressing for a while I can feel my self getting on edge and thinking constantly of being dressed. But I stopped for a while this time last year until about March/ April time. I had something to concentrate on, I could've done the tasks dressed but didn't want to. Then another period of no dressing but this was different as I didn't feel up tight and nervy about it. One more of the many complex reasons behind crossdressing to be solved.

[Beverley Sims]

No.... You can be a recovering drug addict.... you can never recover from this.....

In addition this has no lasting health effects.

[Debra Russell]

If cd is addictive - I've been an addicted from age 3 ...............................Debra

[Stephanie47]

I don't believe CDing is like a drug addiction. I think the progression is due to inching forward slowly because we have been conditioned to think we are doing something abnormal, immoral, against societal mores and expectations, against Biblical teachings.

I have read many many posts on this forum that mirror my journey. Yep, deny the guy the opportunity for self expression and his actions become like a person denied some drug. He waits for a crumb of time to become available so he may dress for ten minutes. Or he risks discovery by underdressing for an hour. Yep, looks like an addition. However, given the opportunity to dress whenever the need arises, he mellows out. At least I do. I know I can dress whenever the needs arises. I no longer "sneak" a crumb of time.

[Jenniferathome]

It is not an addiction any more than breathing is. Drug addicts are not "born" they are made. Cross dressers are born. Moreover, cross dressing causes no harmful physiological affects. While there may be truth to the "buzz" or more likely and endorphin rush, one can get that from strenuous exercise. A drug buzz is purely pharmacological.

[Dianne S]

Moreover, cross dressing causes no harmful physiological affects.

Yes. If crossdressing does become a problem by consuming too much of your time/energy/finances, then I'd call it more of an obsession or compulsion than an addiction.

[Bootsiegalore]

No.... You can be a recovering drug addict.... you can never recover from this.....

I completely agree! This is terminal!!!!

[Christina Kay]

I think Iam genetically predisposed, to this compulsiveness . Hugs

[windycissy]

No question about it – the rush from dressing can be addictive. Even the thought of dressing releases endorphins and dopamine resulting in a feeling of euphoria, which is why I can’t kick it. One thing I learned from this thread is when a behavior like gambling interferes with everyday life, it can become a compulsive addiction, as opposed to a harmless addiction or even a positive one - for example the rush I get from running, which also causes a natural high. So the key seems to be self-control: if you dress because you like the way it makes you feel, and it doesn’t screw up your life, it’s wonderful, but if you lose that self-control it can hurt you and the ones you love. Fascinating topic!