Is CDing like a drug addiction?

[katssun]

I would say that the thrill of doing it is addicting for a while.

The rush of endorphins:
- When I first made breasts out of socks and stuffed them up my shirt.
- When I first "borrowed" clothes.
- When I first "borrowed" knee-high boots.
- When I first "borrowed" a one-piece swimsuit and put socks in it.
- When I made my first forms from 12" balloons filled just enough with water.
- When I ordered my first bra online, then again when I filled it with balloons.
- When I tucked for the first time.
- When I finally got a proper pair of breastforms and used them the first few times.
- The first time I shaved my legs and chest completely.
- The first time I used self-adhesive breastforms.
- The first time I wore a wig...

And so on. But the strange thing was, the more often I did it, the further the thrill went away. As it began to become a regular thing, there was no sexual thrill anymore. I was just being my other half for the first time.

It's only addicting if you make it addictive. Otherwise you're just becoming who you really are.

[reb.femme]

I don't know if this is a compulsion, but sometimes it can feel like it. I often get a knot in my stomach, to the effect that if I don't dress, I'll explode. Equally though, the urge disappears out of my life for a time and I wonder where it went. So it’s different from an addiction in that respect.

The drug is the feel of the clothes and the slightly milder me that it produces. I love the release it affords, but I just enjoy being femme to be honest and can only offer that by way of explanation.

My femme side does like to push the boundaries a little, but I don't suffer with the pink fog, although like you, I get a buzz from buying my girl clothes. Maybe we do become slightly immune to our current situation, but I think I'm as near to the edge of my development as I can be in this life. I have to respect my wife's wishes on not outing myself in our local area and to her work colleagues.

Rebecca

[Tina_gm]

I can't say that it feels like an addiction to me. I can go days without dressing and the desires are not overwhelming. I think that it gets to a certain point and just stays there until I do dress. I am perhaps a little different then many here??... but it is a very comfortable relaxing feeling for me to dress. Not really a true rush that I feel. I do get the desire stronger at times than others, that doesn't always correlate to time not dressed.

[xdressed]

It is not an addiction any more than breathing is. Dug addicts are not "born" they are made. Cross dressers are born. Moreover, cross dressing causes no harmful physiological affects. While there may be truth to the "buzz" or more likely and endorphin rush, one can get that from strenuous exercise. A drug buzz is purely pharmacological.

This ^

You can't be addicted to fundamental parts of yourself.

Yes. If crossdressing does become a problem by consuming too much of your time/energy/finances, then I'd call it more of an obsession or compulsion than an addiction.

I think this is mostly a reaction to the social stigma around crossdressing, perceived or otherwise. If you're guilt free and in an environment where everyone is totally accepting then crossdressing causes no direct harmful effects

[ArleneRaquel]

Karren is 100% correct. Crissy is right in regard to losing control.

[Michelle (Oz)]

No question about it – the rush from dressing can be addictive. Even the thought of dressing releases endorphins and dopamine resulting in a feeling of euphoria, which is why I can’t kick it. One thing I learned from this thread is when a behavior like gambling interferes with everyday life, it can become a compulsive addiction, as opposed to a harmless addiction or even a positive one [...] which causes a natural high.

Slightly modified I'll go with this. Addictive perhaps but no physical or psychological harm ... thankfully!! Now just a high from life.

[Dani0948]

Perhaps not an addiction, but more like reading your favorite type of literature or watching you favorite tv program. I've never really fealt compelled to dress, but like a good book I really enjoy reading SF. Of course it's even better if I'm dressed while reading.

[Bridgetlagurl]

Cool thought. Never had any drug addictions other than booze pot sex and cigarettes, so don't really have anything to compare it too?

[Audrey34]

Addiction? No, if anything else it can become an obsession. I was always worried about spending too much time as Audrey. But the reality is I don't. In fact, my therapist believes I should dress more often when I'm home. Maybe I'm not completely free of the guilt that comes with this. I always have fun but usually feel pretty crappy the next day when I'm not dressed.
-Audrey

[Charmane]

People toss around the word addiction like its a cute label to any quirk. On the other hand, I do feel addicted to crossdressing because its part of who I am. I can't make it go away....yet everyone else says its evil...I mean evil forbidden. So the feelings of using a drug or a taboo and enjoying it...followed by a crash of guilt or fear. Ya it feels like I'm an addict.

[NathalieX66]

Ask yourself what particular hole you are trying to fill within our own soul.

As for me, I wanted to dress female since age 6....don't know why, just is.

[ArleneRaquel]

To me CD'ing is a must, but in no way an addiction. During my marriage I went weeks & weeks without dressing enfemme, not even underdressing. Since that age of 8, or so, I knew that sometime in my adult life I would live as a female 24/7.

[jodie k]

if crossdressing is an addiction, are forums like this, pushers????:brolleyes

jodie

[CarlaWestin]

If CD were an addiction, I'd be out at night striping abandoned building of their copper pipes to buy make-up.

[Robbin_Sinclair]

I hate seeing terms like "guilt" and "shame" used. Sure people may have but if they do, they should not.

Perhaps, that's what this site is all about. Our feelings are there. They might be ridiculed by the people who don't feel this way but we should not have guilt or shame. If it doesn't interfere with others, all of the harm in crossdressing is how we feel.

If it good, good. If it is bad, do something about it.

I do feel frustrated sometimes but I deal with it using the same approach as my other addictions. I eliminate some (the dope and alcohol) but keep others (coffee and dressing). It works for me, especially when combining it with the basic tenets of Buddhism (impermanence and nonself).

robbin

[daviolin]

Oh what a beautiful addiction. Not harmful to your health, a stress reliever and just down right fun. What more could you want. Example of my addiction: I advanced all the way to full dress and make-up and going out for girly fun. I guess I must have regressed in my habit. I prefer to stay home and dress and rarely use make-up anymore. I'm happy as a hog in mud with my leveling out. Daviolin

[linda allen]

Crossdressers are not born. In the womb, we know nothing about clothing, male or female. Once we are born, adults put clothing on us. That's our first experience or knowlege of clothing. Our DNA contains no information regarding clothing.

Our desire to crossdress comes from life experiences. Experiences like our mothers wishing we had been born female and expressing those wishes, dressing us in female clothing when we were young, showing favoritism to female siblings or nieces, etc. Or possibly people commenting on how cute we were, we should have been born a girl.

Other factors might be feeling inadequate as a boy in sports or other physical activities and noticing that girls don't have to be good at those things so it's easier to be a girl.

I don't think most of us know why we crossdress and I don't think there's anyone on this forum qualified to tell us why. We just do it. We may make up reasons or excuses, but we don't really know.

Saying crossdressing is an addiction or saying that it's impossible to stop are just excuses to continue dressing. One can stop if one wants to, just simply don't put on the panties, bra, etc.

I'm not trying to convince anyone to stop crossdressing, I crossdress and plan on continuing to do so when appropriate. I'm just tired of hearing all the excuses. It's your body and you should have the willpower to be in control of it.

[Kate Simmons]

As with many things, it honestly depends on the individual person if it is addictive or not.

[Penny2325]

I think it is addictive but its not bad. Now, if you are literally going broke because you cannot stop buying clothes, wigs, makeup, etc, then it may be problematic but that would be more of a buying addiction than a CD addiction.

[Robin777]

I cannot say if it is addictive or not, but it is like a drug. I believe it provides a high like drugs and alcohol do. It depends on the person if they get addicted or for a better description become dependent on it like an alcoholic. At least this doesn't screw your body up like drugs and alcohol do. You end up spending money,instead of buying drugs or alcohol you spend it on clothes.At least with this you have something to show for it in the end.

[Jenniferpl]

The more I crossdress the more I want to crossdress. Most of us are probably addicted to shopping.

After giving this more serious thought, there are some striking similarities'. Both have the power to destroy people lives. Also numerous marriages and relationships have been torn apart. One particular trait both have in common is lying and denial. Sneaking around also comes to mind.

The major difference is behavior. The behavior of a person on drugs is unpredictable at best. Many innocent individuals have been injured by someone on drugs. Many of us on this site frequently mention crossdressing having a relaxing calming effect on them.

[Katie Russell]

Thanks for all the replies.

On reflection I think that may be the comparison to drug addiction was the wrong way of expressing my thoughts. As some of you mentioned it may well be more akin to a gambling addiction where there is no artificial substances involved. I'm guessing that the natural high produced from a win is what makes it addictive.

I was trying to decide is the high from dressing made it addictive and that to continue getting the same high we needed to keep getting more adventurous. Alternatively the reason we continue the journey from borrowing female relatives attire to buying our own clothes etc is purely economic. As we get older we are able to afford our own clothes and decide to explore this side of our personalities with extra money we have at our disposal.

From the responses there does seem to be some psychological advantage in dressing as it does prompt a feeling of well being and there is an excitement in buying new clothes, going out in public which may account for some of the behaviour. May be it is a combination of many factors. From the response there seem to many and varied answers.

Katie

[Robbin_Sinclair]

.... One particular trait both have in common is lying and denial. Sneaking around also comes to mind.......

One more little point, bringing me up to date. In AA there's a thing like Catholic confession called "5th Step." In that you relay to yourself, your god and one other human being all the things that you think could qualify as a "wrong". (AA uses old fashion terminology)

My human being and I define a wrong as anything that is uncomfortable for me, i.e., that bother me. Lies bother me. So shared the CD experience with a rather manly male AAer who verges on being a sexist. He seldom asked questions. As I should have expected, it was no big deal.

His face contorted far more when I told him how I treated my ex-wife in the '80s. Point being, lies are bad and we CDers handle it by downplaying what we do. Most of us don't go outside and if we do, it is with the "girls' -- strength in numbers. Generally we stay at home and hurt no one. Our most difficult lies are to the people we love in our home.

Thanks for the summary Katie Russell. Well said.

Happy Day All, xxrbbn

[hosierylover]

Crossdressing is not an addiction. There's no chemical dependence like there is with drugs, cigatettes or alcohol. It's something you like to do, similar to playing golf, fishing, etc. Some folks take it to extremes just as some folks do with other activities.

Hi Linda, I can't fully agree with you there, CDing to me as well as a lot of others is totally additive, if I don't do it I get moody and frustrated, I also am a relapsing heavy drug user that went clean for seven years of marriage and when that fell apart in February, I went straight back to drugs, I also purged, since I was now living with a mate and his wife( I had the whole top story), but two days latter I was trying to find all my stuff again(but no good), so I just made do buying new pair blk tights, but the urge got stronger and I came out to my mates wife, who loved it and cos we were the same size she said I had full access to all her shoes and clothing,
Months later house of my own again, I am buying stuff to dress up each week, I just can't stop and it's getting stronger, I have found out that after coming out to one person it gets easier to tell people and it's such a buzz talking about it,
I wear hosiery everyday and I just can't stop and I LOVE IT

[ReineD]

It's different for everyone, isn't it.

It's clear that it does start off sexually for the vast majority of CDers and a lot of people here say that the CDing brings with it feelings of euphoria, or thrill, or a high, or elevated feelings of some sort ... or any other way you want to put it. So yes, these elevated feelings do release chemicals in the brain that relate to pleasure, and these are the same chemicals that are released in people who have addictions to drugs or alcohol, or are compulsive with behaviors like watching porn or sexual addictions, or gambling, shopping, etc. Also, our sexual awareness of what feels good to our bodies is present at very early ages, so it can be sexual even if a CDer was aware at age 8 that he enjoyed wearing feminine things, although the full impact of ejaculation will obviously not occur until pubescent age.

It's also true that it becomes a problem when it has a negative impact in other life areas.

BUT ... It is also true that the compulsion morphs over time and it does become a need. This is why there are so many different answers in this thread. Everyone is at a different stage. I take it though, that the CDers for whom it is still a sexual thrill tend to be on average younger than the CDers for whom it has morphed into feelings of comfort, although admittedly everyone has a different libido. There seems to be an increased need to dress that is not sexual, for crossdressers approaching middle age or older.

To those of you who say it is epigenetic in utero, I believe this can also be true but I expect it is in the minority.

==================================

To anyone who is interested in the physical reactions to the CDing, i.e. the brain chemicals released, here is a series of six videos on what happens to the brain during addiction of either substances or behaviors.

This particular video series is based on porn addiction, but you can substitute the thrills related to the CDing for the purpose of observing the physiological results:

http://yourbrainonporn.com/your-brain-on-porn-series

NOTE: I am not comparing the need to crossdress to porn addiction. I am providing a link to the best series of videos that I have seen on the physical reactions to thrill inducing behaviors.