Was i born this way

[Lesley.may]

As far as i can recall i have been interested in female clothing forever, i remeber trying on my sisters pants when i was preteen, trying on my mums skirt, corset, later my wifes stockings and suspenders.
I just thought it a bit of a kink, but try as i may i would ultimately return to doing it somewhere, when the wife went out etc. i had a well developed fem chest which i hated as i now know i was in denial and i had them surgically removed in 1990. I was/am not very well developed in the male area although i have 2 children, so it all works.
I now dress openly and am quite happy with my fem side, my new wife is ok with it too, what i have thought lately is am i actually more female than the average male, was i born this way

[Jenniferathome]

I am certain that cross dressing, like homo or heterosexuality is genetic. While there is no conclusive science on this just yet, the question is easily solved by asking this: Who would choose this?!

[Karen kc]

I believe there is a cding gene, no one, at 5y o pushed me into wearing moms undies or putting on lipstick, I did it on my own.

[linda allen]

I don't think you were "born this way". I think events in your early childhood that you may not even remember had an influence on you.

Except for a very few who were born with conflicting genes, we are all born either male or female. It's life experiences that make us who we become.

[vallerie lacy]

Jennifer and Karen are right. There is too much of a recurring need and desire to dress. Perhaps if there were more scientists [ there must be some] who dressed, we would know for sure by now. It's easier to ignore it than to explore it.

[EmilyPith]

Oh no... nature vs. nurture... run!

There are studies, books, YouTube videos, LOTS of posts here... this is being explored.

One of the best thing that happened to me is that I lost my password and just read silently and consumed any documentary type video I could find on CD and GD for about six months... books, articles, research papers, posts here.

Genetics affect behavior, but socialization does too.

It's choice. The more you travel down the road, the more it becomes part of you.

Recent studies show that OCD is a learned behavior and the only real way to treat it is thorough exposure therapy and behavior modification.
Maybe CD and her big ugly sister GD is an offshoot of OCD?

One cool article I read suggested a "worry chair" for people with OCD, where the patient could sit and worry as much as they want in that chair... worry till they cant think of anything else to play out in their mind... then get up. But the catch is, no worrying anywhere else.

I think a lot of housebound CDs do something like this.. they dress at home and get the anxiety out... feel better then stop for a while.

But I also have seen a progression in a lot of people who feed the beast and move on to bigger and much more public things. (not that anything is wrong with that, ladies... you've got some big ones!)

It stands to comparison with OCD, though, that the more you feed "the lady inside" the more she will want to come forward. Emily-mode is insatiable, and I keep close tabs on balances.

As far as a gene, maybe... or an inclination... if playing an instrument can be an inherited trait, being good at art or sports, why not this?

Just my two cents. Meh.

[DebbieL]

Here is a very simple test. Measure your index finger, then measure your ring finger. Do this on both hands. If your ring finger is shorter than your index finger, then you WERE born with a "feminine" brain.

For your ring finger to be substantially shorter than your index finger, you would have had to have formed those bones when your bones were forming, in the first trimester. This is the same period when your brain was forming.

Alpha males, those who were the warriors and hunters, would have larger limbic systems, as well as the longer ring finger would would have helped in manipulating spears, swords, and other weapons.

Of course, the next question is "Why?". Quite simply, your body did not process enough testosterone to make you an "alpha" male. There are three possible reasons for this. First, your body didn't produce enough testosterone. There is a genetic marker that indicates this. The second option is that your body couldn't process the testosterone that was available. Again, there is a genetic marker that indicates this.

The third possibility is that the testosterone you did produce was flushed out of your system. If you mother smoked, drank, was under severe stress, or used certain other drugs, or was taking female hormones such as birth control pills during those first months, before she realized she was pregnant, any of these would have reduced your natural in utero testosterone levels.

This may be a natural part of evolution. Until about 5 centuries ago, men were typically hunters, and men fought to survive, conscription was common, and those who resisted the "draft" were simply put to death for treason. The survivors of wars, famines, and disease were those who were able to take what they wanted, or kill the animals they needed to survive through the harsh times. Diseases would have killed more of those living in the cities, leaving more of those who hunted, herded, and were independent as survivors.

But in the last few centuries, we have seen quarantine, disease control, improved water supplies, and improved sanitation that made urban dwelling more practical and survivable. Through the industrial age, we saw more shift to the need for social skills, cooperation, and resource conservation. With the rifle and subsequent improvements in killing power, alpha males who went to the "front line" were those most likely to be killed, regardless of their prowess. Furthermore, their high testosterone levels and larger limbic systems would have made them more aggressive, more prone to rage and anger, and more likely to be killed by the machine guns or rifles, whether in the Napoleonic wars, the Civil War, World War i, World War II, Korea, or Vietnam. Those with anger problems would have been sent to the front of the first waves, wiped out almost instantly.

The survivors were those who provided logistics, supply, and support, those with more "feminine" traits and roles.

Ironically, these feminine characteristics may be more "normal" than we think. If you watch the kids in Kindergarden or Nursery School, you will see that about 1 in 5 exhibits unusually low aggression for a boy. Often, when other children, especially other boys, take their toys, they don't fight to get them back. They may play with baby dolls, and are more likely to want to sing, color, and do crafts.

What makes the transgender community look smaller, is that such a large percentage are living in stealth. Many of us who have come out have been startled when they started to have more men tell them they were "different" and more women talking about male friends who were transgendered or transsexual. Notice that even Cross-Dressers resist the term Transgendered. Even if they would like to be women, and only be women part time, like when they are dressed up, or only in the bedroom, and only occaisonally, they often refuse to admit to anyone that they would like to be able to be women, or at least stop being "men" for at least brief periods of time. It's much easier and safer to keep the focus on the "Dressing", like it's only about the clothes.

For some, such as fetish dressers, men who are otherwise entirely masculine, even alpha males, who really only want to dress up because they like he feel of certain clothes, and only for sexual gratification, and usually only specific items such as panties or stockings, this may be a valid choice.

At the other end of the spectrum is the "Type 6 Transsexual", someone who has always wanted to be a girl, hates being a boy/man, hates fighting, hates not being able to cry, hates not being able to giggle, would rather play with the girls, would rather hang out with the girls, and would rather go to a romantic comedy than an action adventiuer film loaded with shoot-em-up and bloody fist fights.

And somewhere in between is the great majority of the male transgender population, which is probably a great portin of the male population.

Look at how women act and dress. How many women do you see who want to ALWAYS be dressed up in heels, hose, skirt, and feminine blouse? How many of them are wearing these things because that's what they WANT to wear all the time? Compare this to the number of women who opt for pants or slacks, often with a looser fit, and blouses or sweaters that are knit and loose fitting. Go to a shopping mall or transit center outside of Manhattan and you see only a small percentage, usually less than 10% in the skirt and heels, and 70% in the "comfortable" look.

Now, imagine that you had the ability to see the undewear and secret thought of every man as easily as you could see how a woman is dressed. Would you see a lot of men in very masculine "power suits", or cliche masculine wear? Would every one of these guys be wearing pants and shirts that hid their physical shape as much as possible? Would they all be wearing "tidy whities" or "cotton Boxers"? Or do you think we might find a lot more silk and satin?

Men learn to hide any femininity at a very young age. They are forced to play with boys starting in 1st grade, and the boys often beat up anyone who is a "Sissy". Even if you weren't the one getting beat up, you learned very quickly that doing anything "Girly" would be extremely dangerous. In many schools, the consequences can even include being hit with fists, kicked, clubbed, whipped, or stoned. The trick is that the teacher doesn't do it themselves, they let the other boys do it for them.

In the United States, president John F Kennedy created "The President's Council on Physical Fitness", which had the primary goal of preparing every male in the United States so that they could be trained for combat in the shortest possible time. This conditioning too the form of physical education classes, where the goal was to improve muscular development, improve stamina, and prepare the boys emotionally for combat conditions. The Gym teachers were SUPPOSED to let the other boys beat you up if you cried, giggled, didn't want to fight, or ran away. They were supposed to let the boys beat you up if they thought you caused them to lose the game in competitive team sports.

When students or parents complained, the phys ed teachers would respond "Boys will be Boys" or "You gotta fight to be a man". To make matters worse, most of the phys ed teachers, who were also the athletic teachers, were promoted to administration as deans and principals. This made appeal to the administration pretty much useless, and often made the targeting and harassment even WORSE.

The physical fitness program for girls was often very different, with more focus on cooperation, dance, and self improvement. Even when girls did compete in team sports there was more emphasis on working together and cooperation, with less encouragement of physical violence.

You probably WERE born this way, and they literally had to beat it out of you.

[DonnaT]

I don't think you were "born this way". I think events in your early childhood that you may not even remember had an influence on you.

Except for a very few who were born with conflicting genes, we are all born either male or female. It's life experiences that make us who we become.

As you mentioned, there are exceptions. And what causes these exceptions is genetics. Thus there are quite a number of folks born Intersex.

In my opinion, if this can happen to the body, it can surely happen to the brain, since the brain is our biggest sexual organ. There are many genes, and combinations of genes yet to be explored, thus genetics can't be ruled out.

And if we are predisposed, due to genetics to being trans in some degree, giving in to the urge to CD can easily lead to a lifelong adventure. Note that many people have crossdressed for some reason or another, but not all become lifelong CDers. Thus there must be something within our mind that wakes up our need when triggered by that first experience, and yet leaves many unaffected by their first experience.

What is it if not genetics? A chemical/hormonal imbalance maybe, but not found in all the research? Isn't such a chemical/hormonal imbalance, if true, a result of something we are born with.

[Celina]

Some really great and interesting replies DebbieL and DonnaT!!! The human body and specially our brain is truly such a complex wonder... Fascinating!

Anyways I know now that I have a longer ring finger than index...

[Roli F]

Hi I have measured Both hands both sides exhibit identical size index and ring finger on each hand I am both comfortable in my male and fem sides does this mean I did not reach alpha levels of saturation I don't like fighting love rom com movies certain types of fem literature ie shopaholic and feel I have to dress often or get stroppy

[suchacutie]

There is a body of work that is leading biologists to the conclusion that the "male" fetus must release hormonal "washes" periodically throughout the last 8 months or so of fetal development in order to "rewire" the fetal brain into that of a male baby. If this process is interrupted, some (or most) of this rewiring is not accomplished and there is a gender mismatch between physical identity and the brain's gender identity.

It's the best explanation I've heard so far, although I would not be surprised if there was genetic tendency toward this process.

[NicoleScott]

There's a LOT of difference between believing there is a genetic cause for individuals having some degree of femininity and there being a crossdressing gene. Along human evoluton's slow pace of change, clothing is relatively new, and sex/gender clothing distinctions are very new.

And, remember that there are different reasons for crossdressing. Many CDers have an internal feminine identity and dress accordingly to express it. OK, that femininity could be genetic, but I'd like more evidence than finger length. Some CDers are driven to dress because they have a fetish for certain items of girly wear, and dress to feed that fetish. A guy doing what makes him feel good. That fetish - sexual arousal in the presence of certain items - is most certainly not genetic-based. Have they identified the gene for the pantyhose fetish yet? Most likely, there was some early childhood imprinting.

Femininity in males, I'll buy it. Crossdressing gene, no way.

[giuseppina]

I think it's both nature and nurture. Everyone has both male and female genders inside them as well as homo- and heterosexual tendencies. I suspect there are quite a few out there who are not willing to allow their "taboo" sides out and are suffering for it needlessly. Some need a triggering event, others don't.

[KristyPa]

I was like seven or so when I looked at one of my sisters dresses and just tried it on, there was nothing sexual about, I didn't become sexual until I was in my teens.

[kimdl93]

Most likely, yes. There isn't any reason that fits everyone, but either genetics or conditions in the womb seem to be responsible for at least some of us.

[Christina Kay]

I think there is a predisposition that we are born with , for this compulsion . Hugs

[Jenny Gurl]

I was born with feminine traits. Cloths aside, my traits were very feminine and it had nothing to do with nurture, mine was pure nature. Many who are born female sex have masculine traits as well. I have known more than a few born the female sex who absolutely hate female cloths, makeup, or even conventional feminine activities. They were simply called tomboys, but they were never considered strange. Boys who are born with female traits are in the older days encouraged to suppress them as they are by society's standards unacceptable. They have many negative names to humiliate the feminine male into trying to at least act masculine even if they aren't born that way. They are called sissies, fairys, gay, etc. Since we are in the minority and it is by society's standards unacceptable for years we simply hide it or deny it, even from ourselves. I was born a feminine male, and that's the facts. Before Kindergarten I knew this. I fit in better with the girls, but can associate with the guys and fit in with them just fine too. I believe we are born with feminine traits, regardless if they are caused by a gene, dna variation, etc. The naysayers always claim no scientist has ever found proof if a gay gene or a transgender gene, but I have never seen proof of a heterosexual gene or a conventional gender gene either.

[franlee]

I don't think you were "born this way". I think events in your early childhood that you may not even remember had an influence on you.

Except for a very few who were born with conflicting genes, we are all born either male or female. It's life experiences that make us who we become.

I think as you have pointed out childhood influence is the key for most people, even if it starts at late times in life for a few. I can't see a gene having been in place from the evolution of our DNA. We haven't even had a distention of gender appropriate apparel long enough to justify that assumption. But if some feel that is the answer then "good enough." But in all honesty I never started or even wanted to cross-dress until I was 16 and then for a reward to a dare. So after that I was the victim of the dare, by choice of course and enjoyed it ever sense. If I never CD again I will still be the man I am, and will miss the persona I enjoy assuming on occasion. I think over thinking and having to justify or rationalize my dressing would impeded the fun and attenuate the satisfaction I get from the act. I also think NicoleScott has pretty well put a lot into perspective also.

[Beverley Sims]

I am sure this has been surveyed, discussed and reasoned many times now.
I have never seen a positive or concrete answer to our problem ever.
It has always been supposition.

[Michelle789]

Debbie, you summed it up perfectly.

* Finger ratio: My finger ratio is female. My index finger is 1.02 times longer than the ring finger, and by eyeballing my hand looks like the stereotypically female hand. More often than not you can eyeball it, but to be technically correct you must measure. Usually, but not always, the measurement and eyeballing line up. Do a Google search on "digit ratio" and click on images, and you can see what I'm talking about.

* Stealth: I wouldn't be surprised if up to 25% of males were transgender and feminine to some significant degree. I think a lot are so repressed they don't even consider cross-dressing, in fact there may be more of these than CDs. I also believe the number of CDs is much larger than we think it is. A lot of people only underdress, and it's way easier to hide underdressing than full-dressing.

* Childhood feelings: I felt like I was a girl, and wanted to be a girl, at age 5. Much of my behavior and mannerisms as a kid were female. I was called a sissy by other boys. I performed poorly in physical education, although I still passed. I think the only way to flunk P.E. is to not show up to class, I personally know a couple of people who flunked P.E. that way. They also didn't graduate high school. I was, and still am, very sensitive. I don't like fighting. I'd rather see a romantic comedy than some action flick.

In fact, a couple of years ago my department at work, which was entirely male, was given a choice to go see either Smurfs or Conan as a reward for our hard work. I was the only one who voted to see the Smurfs, the rest voted for Conan. When we went to see Conan, I thought it sucked. I'm totally not into that kinda stuff. And even my co-workers admitted it sucked, although they were disappointed because they like Conan and fighting flicks, they just thought that particular Conan movie was lousy. I on the other hand really don't like the blood and gore at all, and was totally bored by Conan.

When I was a kid most of my friends were girls, and one was a really sensitive boy. Throughout high school, college, and through today, about 40-50% of my friends are girls.

* Femininity being beaten out of us: Totally me. My parents made it clear I was a boy, and did everything they could to beat any femininity out of me, including shame and guilt trips. The guilt trips worked very well, and my childhood feminine behavior was very strong (although I never CDed until I was 13, because I already knew I had to keep my desire to wear women's clothes secret, once again it's not all about the clothes). Even to the point of where I had to behave more manly (or at least stoically) than my brothers to prove I was a man. I wasn't always successful in "manning up" and people picked up on the feminine side of me no matter how hard I tried to cover it up. My parents suspected I might be gay, but they're in very strong denial that I ever showed feminine behaviors.

When I was in high school, my mom was concerned that I spent too much time hanging around girls, and that my mannerisms were feminine.

* P.E. teacher being promoted to administrator or principal: BTDT. A former gym teacher was promoted to school principal. How sad. And I thought my school was alone in doing this. Apparently it's as common as being TG is.

* Dresses, skirts, hose, and heels: I think many of us who CD choose ultra feminine outfits to overcompensate when in girl mode. We want to go all the way. I agree if I was living as a woman full-time I'd opt for the comfortable look more often, there would be no need to over-compensate.

* Fetish dressing: Sometimes fetish dressers are Type 6 Transsexuals. Fetish dressing may be either just a fetish, or it may be an extremely repressed way of expressing your femininity. If your femininity has been beaten out of you, why not just put on a pair of stockings and masturbate for 10 minutes. Easy, and can be done in little time. No need to worry about putting on makeup, cleaning up makeup, having large stashes of clothes, wigs, and shoes--takes a lot of time and space, while fetish dressing uses little time and space...oh and fetish dressing is way cheaper too. Fetish dressers lie anywhere on the gender spectrum, from alpha male, to Type 6 TS, and everything in between. Some people even alternate between fetish dressing and full dressing. Heck, there are some cross-dreamers who don't even cross-dress, but they get aroused at the thought of being a woman.

* Changing from old day fighting to modern day cooperation: We definitely are a more cooperative world today than we were 500 years ago, yet we still have people who like to fight and we still have wars. We evolve in certain ways, but in others we lag behind. You can thank the amygdala for this, since it's one part of the brain that never evolved, and with good reason. It's our survival instinct mechanism, our reality checker, that which protects us from disasters. Sadly, we're one mega disaster away from going back to the age of the alpha male, and where fighting is a necessity to survive. Archaeologists are finding that technologically advanced civilizations like ours have existed in the very distant past, and were wiped out by some mega disaster, pushing us back to the cave man days. This is why people still like fighting and war today, they're afraid they might lose that ability, and if we do we're screwed if some mega disaster does happen.

* I WAS born this way, and I had it literally beaten out of me. Now I'm fighting to get it back. I will take what's rightfully mine, and my femininity is rightfully mine. If we're forced to "man up" by society we can definitely use some of that masculinity and fighting drive to get our femininity back.

[Vicky_Scot]

Why Do I Dress?

Simple,it is part of who I am.

I had no choice in the matter.

I did not make a conscious decision to be a crossdresser.

I was born this way.

Definitely nature for me.

[Phillipa]

Who can tell what triggers that first foray, curiosity? to young to understand the difference? I nether know nor care. What I can say is that the first time I slipped my Mom's stockings on and stepped into those towering stilettos, I was hooked. It's part of my make up.

Phillipa XX

[JenniferR771]

As a crossdresser, I think I was born this way--BUT--I am sure it is not genetic (no more than dominant left hand is genetic). There is no gay gene. There is no crossdressing gene. If there were such genes, twin studies and family tree histories would have proven it long ago.
Crossdressing seems to be permanent--that suggests that it is inborn. Usually discovered in oneself at about age 10 (exceptions occur).

There is a mechanism that chemically protects the developing baby in the womb from the mother's hormones. All babies start out as a female fetus, but XY, male, babies are masculinized by hormones from the developing testes. But...somehow we don't have much testosterone until puberty, begins.

This is a puzzle.

[BobbiHall]

Just starting out here on this website. I think your comments are right on. Also, you look great in your picture.

[Tina_gm]

Yes, I think somewhere we who crossdress are born differently. How we act, behave, the things we do to express ourselves may be influenced by our surroundings, how we grew up etc etc. Probably at least one reason why Cders are so varied in what they like to do, how they dress etc etc. For me, dressing is not as much of a need or desire as many on here. Not that I don't enjoy it and look forward to it. I do. And what I do wear is in some ways similar to many as well. Heels, dresses, skirts. For me though, the femininity itself is really the biggest thing for me, and dressing adds to it, but is not an end all for me. So long as I have feminine expression I feel better. Dressing is among the most simple easiest ways to achieve this. And is something that we can do and undue in a rather short time.

Somewhere within the vast majority of CDers, there is more femininity than that of the average person. One who would be considered Cisgendered. We are not. In that way we were born with being cross gender internally to a degree. More for some than others, but that is who and what we are. We were born with something internally that crosses the gender line of what we are born as.