I would say my most difficult place for me was a lesbian wedding. I hadn't gone out much before that, it was near where I lived and I only really knew my friend & her husband, her mother in law & her husband (Brides sister).
Turned out to have a really great time, danced my butt off. Met alot of really great people.
The girls that know me in person, know I am very bold. That said, there are times I'm a bit shy and places I'm a bit nervous. My biggest hurdle that I have yet to cross is the hotel I stay at most when I travel. I dress there often once I'm in my room, and go out, but its easy to not use the main entrance. I've checked into other hotels, but they know me well here and I also have occasional coworkers stay there. I know when they are there, so that helps, but wouldn't want someone to put the word out.
I never had problems with malls, or really anyplace large. Smaller places where you are more likely to interact personally with someone are more difficult. Large places are anonomous. I also went to a red neck karaoke bar and performed. I was with friends, and would have had problems going there alone the first time.
Where I'm going tomorrow scares the you know what out of me --- the beauty salon. Yes, I went my first time out to start waxing eyebrows and flatten my hair
but it was raining so most of me from waist up was covered with raincoat. Tomorrow at noon will be wearing caramel/rose pants and a shortsleeve black cardigan with draw strings at the waist. Interacting with the staff in a soft voice will be the problem. Yeah I know, fearing fear ....
Julie
I didn't know it at the time, but using the women's bathroom at a beach area. I had my "bug eye" sunglasses on, and when washing my hands i noticed a woman who looked familiar who looked familiar. Got home and went on Facebook and realized from a former coworker's post that she was there and then. Grateful for big, face-distorting shades in this case.
Hands down a movie theatre restroom. Always busy and loaded with the younger generation. Every place is a little bit of a barrier on its own. If you avoid a place, it becomes tougher over time. So the easiest thing is to do it all now!
I have thought, "I don't know if I could ever do that..." about several things that I later was able to do. Normally, the new things are not too tough. So, I am not sure what would be the hardest place to go anymore. The two hardest places to go enfemme that come to mind are: in front of my wife and kids and my church. I guess that means that I don't care nearly as much what anyone else thinks of me than I do of those people.
I don't mind going into too many places as long as there is nobody there Actually, I try to avoid places where there are too many 18-30 year old men. I don't mind teen girls and ladies and being laughed at if they feel the need as that doesn't hurt as much as some red neck d bag deciding to beat up on the "queer in a dress" for being different.
They don't read us any more than adults, but if they suspect something they have less self-control. An adult would hold their tongue unless they are completely sure of what they saw while most teens lack that capability.
That being said, I've been in a few situations where I've been read by teenagers and it has really been a non-event. They stare and giggle a bit and a few seconds later something else comes along and distracts them. A feminine smile their way on my part seems to settle them down.
Eryn
"These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
"She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
"Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]
I LOVE the salon!
My beautician is sooooo cool!
Right now, everywhere.
I dream of going out of town, where I will indulge in being as femme as I want.
Last edited by Persephone; 11-14-2013 at 03:57 AM.
"If you are living the life you want to live you've successfully transitioned to being the person you want to be." - Eryn.
"If you truly care about me you should damn well want for me what I want for myself" - Michael Westen (Burn Notice)
-.-. --.-/-.-. --.-/-.-. -../ Persephone™ and Persephone™ are trademarks of Persephone herself, accept no substitutes. The terms "en femme" and "en drab" originated with Marcia Sampson/Staylace (OBM).
I always present male. On a trip, my first flying pretty in a skirt, I needed to go to the restroom while I was at the airport. I went into the men's room and went to a stall because a skirt makes it complicated. I don't know why I was nervous. Those same guys from outside aren't going to be different in a bathroom... After I finished, I went to wash my hands. I found the sinks all unattended. I started washing my hands. Three men walked in. They used the urinals on the wall behind me. One was looking over his shoulder at me with some amount of shock on his face. He didn't consider that I was facing a mirror and had full sight of him. It was stressful, but like most new outing achievements, I realized that I was safe and was free to dress up as I saw fit. I dried my hands and walked out. And here I am today, happy and alive.
The mall and stores I am fine with. The scariest was going into a sit down restaurant alone the first time. I went into a Chili's and got seated and served no problem but, it still makes me a little nervous. Flying pretty? Haven't done it yet but, I want to when I get the opportunity.
Lisa
Anywhere in the daylight? Oddly, the most anxiety I probably ever had was going to my first Tri-Ess meeting en femme. I had been out on my own many times for years, but that night I felt worried about doing or saying something wrong in front of other more experienced CDers and being rejected. My fears were completely irrational, of course.
Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hairstylist you like.
I have a bunch of CD friends, who are a little on the crazy side. We meet quite of in the Des Moines, Iowa area for GNO's and shopping.
One such GNO, we were talking to a GF of a Des Moines CD/TS. She works at a Sportsman Warehouse in Ankeny, Ia. We were talking about guy things and such. When were she worked and what she sold came out. Well the next thing I know, we have a shopping trip planned for the next day. You guessed it to the Sportsman's Warehouse.
I was really apprehensive about going there en-femme. On the way there we went pasted a "Gentleman's Club" called the "Lumber Yard". On of the girls mentioned stopping there on the way back. My only comment was, "Visiting a strip club while dressed was not on my bucket list."
We made it to the store and I gathered all my courage. We headed in and found our friend pedaling her wares. She showed us some very nice items and explained the unique points of different models. I do not think anyone bought anything but we had a good time. My fears were miss founded, we got a few stares, but that was, it.
I still am not ready for any "Gentleman's Club" outings.
Marcia (LOVES) Blue
My places are pretty much in line with what others have mentioned. My first time in a movie theater restroom was scary. Hella long line of young women all talking to each other. My first time in a nail salon was on a very busy Saturday afternoon. All the stations were full and as I waited and picked out a color, I felt as if everyone in there was looking at me and "could tell". I've never been in an auto parts store yet but that also seems like it would be "difficult".
.
The River City Gems - Northern California's largest and most active crossdressing & transgender support group!
Most difficult place was 2 weeks ago at this old sports bar. It had a lot of men there and not too many women.
I will be going there again next weekend en femme. Nothing like getting comfortable with being uncomfortable.
At the Salon for a mani-pedi. It was crowded and I was wearing a short sundress
Like some others I have a thing about malls. Mostly because of the teenagers hanging around. I am usually spotted but I usually don't care. I love stores that are free standing I tend to like walking across parking lots and on sidewalks of strip malls most
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension: a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You've just crossed over into... the Girly Zone.
[url]http://www.facebook.com/Staci Grace
The scariest place I ever went dressed. Was to church.
It was my first time there since moving to rhat side of town and was wanting to start going to church again.
After walking in with butterflies. I settled into a corner near the back at tried to keep to myself during the meet n greet.
Wasnt long before people srarting coming up and welcoming me
I was nervous for some time bur after a while began to breathe and enjoy the services.
Since then Ive been welcomed back with open arms no matter how Ive been dressed.
Thats the sxariest place I ever went to and now Im glad Ive crossed that threshold.
Renee
The first time out in public, other than on Halloween, was to a TG support group meeting. The meeting were held in a private room in a restaurant and I had to walk through the crowded restaurant to get to the meeting room and of course I was the first to arrive. Later when I had to use the restroom and walking into a Ladies room was scary, but it was empty although a woman entered while I was washing my hands. I half expected her to run out screaming that a man was in the Women’s Room but she smiled and entered one of the stalls.
But the scariest was the first time I went to see my Therapist. Her office is on the third floor of a large medical center. Walking into and through the crowded lobby had my nerves on edge, but then a man and his young son, maybe nine or ten, got on the elevator. The son made me instantly and stared at me all the way to the third floor. Once checked in I proceeded to the waiting area and low and behold the father and son came into the same area and once again I was the object of the son’s attention. Of course I was early so I had to endure being stared at for close to fifteen minutes. I could have kissed my Therapist when she announced “Barbra you can come in now” and I could finally avoid the boy’s scrutiny.
I’m still get a bit nervous walking though the parking lot toward the entrance but this month I actually enjoyed all the interaction with other people. The woman who checked me in wanted to chat and we had a nice conversation about knee replacement recovery. She needs a knee replacement and I’ve had one. When Kelly came to the waiting area and addressed me as Barbra the woman sitting across from me looked up and smiled and then Kelly commented on how nice I looked – talk about a rush of feel good.
Babs
Restrooms that seat more than one are pretty scary and also Claire/Icing if it is loaded with teen girls. They can be very direct with their observations.
It is not difficult to go anywhere...but, the hardware store is the one place I noticed where older redneck type guys jaws drop when they see me... (obviously read and unsuspecting people who don't know how to react)...except, also it is one of the places the female cashier was very friendly too.
Chickie