Post Deleated...
Post Deleated...
Last edited by Miss Mandy; 11-27-2013 at 05:41 PM.
From your post it sounds like your wife doesn't like you spending money on things that you're going to eventually be throwing away. Your wife probably (rightfully) believes it is wasted money, money down the drain. It sounds like that is a bigger issue than the crossdressing itself. Did your wife pressure you to purge or did you do it yourself?
If your wife pressured you to purge, you may find yourself having to decide between crossdressing and staying in that marriage.
Back on the forums! But still very much closeted.
I'd be pretty ticked off if my husband threw out $1000 worth of stuff, promised not to buy more, and then bought more. Crossdressing or not, that's not cool. To me, it shows a lack of self-control and a lack of respect for her. I'd say you're lucky she didn't go full blown crazy on you.
GG married to a CDer
The last time I purged, I swore that I would never do it again, as it hurts the pocket book too much. That was over twelve years ago, and it was a good move. You need to let her anger cool off abit before you discuss anything with her. You do need to discuss things with her and get some compromises into place. If what you are saying is correct, she didn't say you couldn't CD, so there is room for negotations, even if you only get to be the maid/housecleaner at times. Remember it takes cool heads to prevail in any compromise discussions.
I like myself, regardless of the packaging that I may come in! It's what is on the inside of the package that counts!
Stop making promises you can't keep - and start keeping promises you've already made.
Deedee
It's not wrong... but it is forbidden!
And apologize, if you did wrong, like a real woman.
T-shirt says: "Hi, I Crossdress!"
She's your wife. It's your marriage. Whatever the 2 of u decide should be ok with both of u and is none of our business!
If something is NOT rite with her, I'll bet u hear about it? Does that hold true for u 2?
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Yer the money thing is a big issue, if I chucked away $1000 dollars and then spent more,id be in the dog box.
I hate wasting $1.
If I was to spend more than $30 on anything, I'ld pass it by her to see if it was a good idea or not.
With house payments, repairs, 4 daughters, 2 cars, little luxuries are hard to pay for.
See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
http://rachelsauckland.blogspot.co.nz
You do not need to go to extremes with padding and accessories.
Dress tastefully and to your wife's suggestion.
You will benefit by it.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Are you really happy here at crossdressers because I know some great fetish sites! gigglesOriginally Posted by Miss Jessica
If you make promises you should keep them. If you regret making those promises you should renegotiate with whoever you made those promises to.
Throwing away $1,000 worth of "stuff" was stupid. If I was your wife I would be upset with you for wasting money that could have been spent on the family.
As for "laying down the law", she's your wife, not your mother, right? In marriages, one party does not "lay down the law", both parties work out what's mutually acceptable conduct.
Is this fair? - Well if you agree to it, it's fair. Really, it's time for you and your wife to sit down and discuss your relationship. The part about dressing to do the housework is strange at best.
[SIGPIC]http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=82706&dateline=137762 0356[/SIGPIC]Linda
What happened is now in the past. I agree with Beverly. Housekeeping only? Hey! it's a foot in the door. Let things chill like that for awhile, then maybe things can move up from there in time.
As for the $1,000 purge? My wife would be mad as hell too.
Last edited by sweetshauna; 11-15-2013 at 10:42 AM. Reason: typo
.....I dono just struck me funny - a promise like that is akin to "Ok your wish is my command"...................Debra
You are in quite a pickle it seems.
Never promise what you can't deliver.
Every husband has been in the "your wish is my command" mode at least once. It's a matter of two people living together. I do not know the reasons behind the purge, like was said, was it you or her who pushed for it. If it was you and you turned right around and got more stuff, she has a right to be pissed.
Now Ms Rubbermaid, your have your cat suit. Your wife as given you acceptable guidelines to dress. Be the best darn maid she could ask for! Make her long for the days when her Rubbermaid is there. This will help to build acceptance and open doors to expanding in the future. There will be some who say we should never cow down to the demands of our spouse. I really don't know of a successful marriage that doesn't have give and take. A friend of mine was telling me her wife would never accept. I told her: "you want to be a girl, be a girl! That means spending tons of time with your so chatting, sharing, opening up, chick flicks, pedies, and spending girl time with her. (even if your in the closet and doing so in drab) It's not the cloths that make the girl, its the girl! Then once she knows your her favorite girlfriend, you can start nudging things your way. That's the plan I'm on, I'll let you know how it works.
Yeah, there's the problem. That, and making promises you can't keep. In nearly two years on the forum, you should have learned these two things:
1) purging doesn't work
2) don't make promises you can't keep
Well, take what you can get (for now her housecleaner) and maybe things will loosen up iin the future.
Fair is whatever you agree to. But cleaning house in a full body PVC catsuit? I hope you have good air conditioning!
Its for fun not comfort. Yes I know, what's the fun in that. well actually.........................
I read some of your prior posts. I have no idea why you purged any of your attire. You indicated you love to serve your wife. She is pissed because you threw away $1,000 worth of hard earned money. Take your punishment and start cleaning-on her terms, not yours!
Ah well, on the bright side, if a rubber catsuit and 200 dollars worth of pads and stuff is all you need to start cleaning the house, it's still cheaper than hiring a maid in the long run. My advice is to stop wasting money by purging and buying again and to reassess your priorities and the promises you made. If you ask if something's fair you probably think it's unfair yourself.
In previous threads you cleaned house in a peignoir and bathing suit, spent the day with you accepting wife while the kids were out and now you have been made the maid? Your wife rolled her eyes at you once for dressing but never said don't do it now she says you can only clean house. Confusing at best. Why did you purge, did you get an ultimatum? For a wife who accepted you before this seems strange
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
To be honest I am a bit confused. Did your wife decide you can only dress as the housemaid because you threw out $1000 worth of stuff or are the two not linked? Yeah, given hindsight, throwing away $1000 was probably not wise (as I am sure you know now) but who am I to judge.
IMHO you are in a relationship and that means two-sided decision making. Just because you are a CDer, it should not mean you have to roll over and do whatever your wife tells you (unless that appeals to you). If it does not, then you need to discuss guidelines which are suitable for both you and your wife. She should not have the right to dictate the terms of your relationship (CDing included) anymore than you should have the right. If find too often, gals post that they feel like they have to accept whatever rules/laws/position/job dictated by their SOs because we are somehow the bad ones . . . CDing is not bad, you have done nothing which should put you in a position of having to accept ultimatums. However, if you feel that is your only option to save your marriage then that is your choice. Personally, I would work toward an accord and if one cannot be reached then I would have to re-examine my relationship.
Hugs
Isha
Maybe I missed it, but what was your reason to purge? I will not beat you up, because I don't know your thinking on the purge. If your wife accepts your femme side, what's to purge for? I don't blame her for being upset that you wasted family $ on clothes, just to throw them away and then start all over again. Financially, not too smart. But again, why did you feel a need to purge? I would consider myself lucky to have a wife that is accepting of your expression of your femme side. Lucky you! I have purged 4 times in the past and have spent thousands, but I'm in the closet and did it out of fear of getting caught and besides, we keep out money separate. She pays her bills, I pay mine and never the two shall mix. So money is not an issue with us.
My humble suggestion? Lay low for awhile.. give it time to blow over and be more understanding of your wifes concerns about money. You goofed up, so it's time to make amends. Whether you give into her demands....well that's up to you.
Ahh . . . the backstory helps to put things in perspective. I still believe that once the dust settles, you should sit and have some open communication and negotiate agreed upon guidelines. Yes, mixing drinks with medication not a good thing, doing what you did also not a good thing. However, I still stand with the belief that while you need to make amends for your behavior, this should not give one partner complete and utter control over another.
Hugs
Isha
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