I was there, the panties, bra & skirt were there....and the rest is history!
I was there, the panties, bra & skirt were there....and the rest is history!
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Susan V. Adams
Curiosity. Liked how the clothes looked. Then how they felt on me. Liked the picture of me in them. I dunno, I don't have a solid answer, it just seemed like the right thing to do for me.
I have a theory about this. Keep in mind that its just a theory. When I was a young child, I was told a story that when I was a baby, that a friend of the family mistakenly thought that I was a girl. He said something like, "Oh, what a beautiful little girl", or something like that. Obviously, he was corrected by my parents. However, I believe I heard that even though I was just an infant. Years later when I was told (and sometimes teased) about it, I think a "connection" was made somewhere in my brain. I know I started dressing when I was young, sometime around four or five. I remember running up the stairs to hide when someone would come over and I was playing in my mother's heels. Anyways, I think the "connection" was established/re-established when I was told about the event (events?) and teased about it when I was four or five, right around the same time I started playing with my mother's shoes and, on the weekend at my father's house, my older sister's bikinis, nightgowns, and other clothes that she would leave hanging on the hook of the bathroom door.
I think it would be neat if others on this forum could/would ask their parents if they were ever mistakenly identified by someone OUT LOUD as a girl when they were an infant.
I am not alone.
Even after all this time, it seems so unbelievable to read threads like this. It's like reading a thousand slightly different variations on my own life.
Perhaps nothing "made" us this way. I suspect there have always been ones like us, ashamed and afraid and isolated ... and here we are huddled together all over the world telling stories to each other that sound so familiar ... It's astounding.
More on topic, I don't know why I first tried on the tights my mother had left drying on the shower curtain rod. I just did, and I think it was inevitable. If it hadn't been that it'd have been something else eventually. Nobody ever asks why a baby starts moving it's legs, and first decides to try crawling, which leads to lots of things. It was just always going to, because that's what babies do. ... I think this is just what we do, baby.
"Why shouldn't art be pretty? There are enough unpleasant things in the world." -Pierre-Auguste Renoir
I blame it on The Bossa Nova. Really I think that we are wired this way. Whatever the reason I love living as a female 24/7
Fulfilling a Lifetime Dream of Living as a Woman in My Adult Years.Ten Years Living 24/7 as a Mature Lady
My Love of Cat's Eye Frames, Bangles, Red Lipstick, Nails, & Cheeks, Comes From My Mother - An Irish Beauty
I'm Always Rainbow Proud
Lucky you........I live 18/4 as female. OK, I can deal with it.Originally Posted by ArleneRaquel
Interesting story, Desirae (Post #53). Maybe there is something to your theory. I read posts on the forum that many CDers believe their crossdressing is genetic, because they say that from their earliest recollection they had these feelings. We don't have conscious recollections from birth, but in early infancy (say, up to two years old) there may have events that happened that stuck in our memory but remain unknown to us, and these events may run the range from fears to fetishes. My CDing is based on fetishes, not on some internal girl wanting to express herself. In the couple of million years that we can call us human, clothing is a relatively new invention, and articles of clothing commonly worn by women that have become objects of fetishes are even more recent. So it's absurd to think that a fetish for high heels, for example, is somewhere in the genes. Some say that the propensity to have a fetish may be genetic, and maybe so, but the actual object itself that is the fetish item must certainly have been introduced in childhood, perhaps before any conscious awareness of it.
So I think your theory may have validity, both for pleasure dressers and for those with internal feminine identities introduced in childhood, such as happened to you.
I've always believed that it's no coincidence that when i was four my mom was pregnant and my Dad kept saying he really hoped she had a girl because they "had enough boys already." I was the youngest of three boys. Maybe, on some level, I believed my dad would like me better if I was a girl.
Think not, why, but, why not?
Sounds like a famous Robert Kennedy quote, only in fewer words:
There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?
your story sounds familiar. I can remember trying on my moms stocking one day with my older brother while we were playing in the basement and they were on top of the dryer.
Good point above about sisters. How many sisters dressed their brothers up in sister clothes--probably all. But for some, it had some sort of pleasurable effect and the concept stuck forever. For most--no effect at all.
I didn't have sisters, only brothers. I suspect--if a sister was in the house it always started with her clothes rather than the mother's clothes. What about if you were raised only by your dad?
I realy dont remember, maybe it wuz moms panties & stockings hanging to dry on the shower curtain or the Sears catalog. All I know is its been a part of me since I wuz young.
I remember as a very young child (maybe 4 or 5) daydreaming about wearing a girl's swimsuit. I have no idea why those thoughts popped into my head. Actually tried girl's clothing on around age 9 or 10, and started seriously crossdressing at around 15.
My mother told me that when I was extremely young (< 4 months old) my sisters would dress me in their dolls' clothes, but I seriously doubt that had any effect on me; I would have been much too young to realize what was happening or even have any concept of gender identity.
I leave the why's and wants of this question to you forum shrinks. I do blame ArleneRaquel for blaming this need on the Bosa Nova. I haven't given that song any thought until I read her post. Since then, the song had been an incessant " ear worm ." Arlene, thanks for the chuckle that only us old farts can understand . Peace to everyone, Melissa
My older sister was the "Hott" girl at school and she always had the coolest looking clothes. For me it all started with my sisters clothes. Stealing things and panties from her room when no one was home. Or trying on all her skirts and dresses when everyone was out of the house.
I have been able to keep this a secret my whole life.
Or everyone knows and doesn't say anything about it
I had always wondered what it was like to wear a skirt. There was one there I was there and decided to try it on, and well it was pretty awesome.
Funny To Many
When I was young, all my aunties wore deep red lipstick in the style of day. I became entranced with red lips so when I found a red lipstick in a collection of my Mom's stuff, I tried it out and was immediately hooked on the sensation. Then I tried on a pair of my sister's panties and things took off from there.
Can't say exactly myself..but I know of a couple formative things in my childhood..
1: In grade school, I tended to gravitate toward playing with girls. Never was a big tough sports player so I and a few girls would have fun at recesses playing with imaginations rather than sports. So I kind of started a bit as a sissy-boy somewhat from the early on. I was (and still probably am) a bit more emotional and empathic compared to most. (One of those girls later became a first girlfriend briefly in Jr. High). So that probably kept my feminine side going a bit.
2: while I never (that I can remember anyways) did any dressups with those girls (or a few neighbor girls either) I did develop a facination a bit with hose. (Still a fetish today). I do remember while I never tried them on, I occasionally played with mom's nylons just liking the feel of them.
I'd pretty much still never literally did anything CD-wise (although pretty much stayed a loner-and yeah a virgin to today even) but one day I won a camisole at a lingerie party I DJ'ed. Kept it (yeah I'm a hoarder). Eventually it was a thing where "i've got this here not getting any use...wonder what it's like" so I tried it on.
Nylon/hose fetish continued with some tights play at times later (pretense of making outfit for SCA/Rennaisance recreation) and now recently over last few months have just outright been Underdressing.
As to why continuing into full CD now... Well, not sure. Psychological in part, there is a base thrill to putting on the dress/outfit. (Its new to me and I can understand that the rush might be old to longer-term CDers here). But I've kind of got a second 'boost' in a way person-wise. I'm a bit reserved social-wise and don't get out much in RL. Being Kacey gets me feeling different, more empowered, and like the personality i wish I was able to be. It's also (unfortunately) triggered the challenge aspect.. To work toward being able to pull off a good presentation that might make a person not realize I was a guy.
So there's that too.
Ya know... Thinking back on the grade school times... How come we never keep up "recess-es"... Life would be more fun if there were recess times even thru adulthood
That's interesting. Did you know that our memory for odors is stronger than all the other senses. One of my early crossdressing memories is the first time I tried on lipstick. I'll never forget the smell of that lipstick. I don't know why but I loved that smell from the first whiff. To this day the smell of lipstick still turns me on.
My earliest memory is trying on a training bra I found in a house my parents had just bought when I was 6. I put it on out of curiosity and wore it a few times but soon forgot about it. From then on the thought of crossdressing never occurred to me until I was 17. My girlfriend one day commented on my body and said I would make a hot looking girl. That did not boost my ego considering I was skinny and was trying to bulk up and I didn't want to look like a girl, or so I thought. Before I knew it she was turning me into her girlfriend, mostly for her amusement. That worked for her because she was into other girls anyways and it worked for me because I was pretty much willing to do anything as long as I was getting sex. I feebly complained about dressing but the truth is I would have dressed like Bozo the clown if she asked me to. It didn't take me long though to realize I really liked dressing, especially dressing for sex. At this point my psyche was all messed up. The dressing went on for a year or so with but we eventually broke up and I stopped dressing. It was like I turned off a switch. I didn't have any desire to dress at all. I didn't even think about it. Probably because it reminded me of my girlfriend and I wasn't getting any sex either. I was torn up pretty bad over the breakup and actually ended up joining the Navy partly to try and put things behind me. For 6 years I didn't dress. Then I got out of the Navy and got married. I discovered that having my wifes lingerie sharing the same dresser as my socks and underwear would lead to frequent dressing malfunctions where somehow my wifes panties would wind up on me instead of my Fruit of the Looms. Of course it was only a matter of time before she noticed things in her dresser drawers were not arranged like she had left them and then she came home early one day and caught me dressed. I explained as best I could what I was doing but she pretty much already knew what I was doing. Our relationship was strained for a while. I didn't realize it at the time but that was the best thing that could have happened and soon felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. 24 years later we are still married. My wife doesn't approve of my dressing but she tolerates it. At times I think she actually enjoys being around me when I'm dressed but she'll never admit it. All in all I have no complaints.
When I told my wife, one of her questions to me was what made me start and what was the first thing I put on. I told her it was a long time ago and didn't even remember the first thing I wore, but I do remember when I was young I always wore pantyhose and slips and never wore panties till later, so as far as I can remember it was my love of pantyhose and slips then and still now.
I was in 4-H with 3 of my siblings and Mom was one of the leaders and we were thinking of a play to put on for Fun Night. Someone thought of doing a Wedding with just each member of the wedding party introducing themselves with a short funny rhyme. My brother came out toward the end wearing a box with strings over his shoulders, as if naked under the box. I think he got the most laughs. His line was: I'm the father of the bride. She took everything but my hide.
Someone thought it would be funny if one of the boys played a girl and one of the girls played a boy. So my sister agreed to play best man, or something, and I played the Maid of Honor. Wow, did I ever hit the jackpot! Our main leader happened to have an old bridesmaid's dress, a dark green, that looked and felt great, very satiny. They made a wig for me out of yellow baler twine, I think, so I got to go on stage looking pretty. I felt rather ugly most of my childhood as a boy.
A classmate of mine in another 4-H group later said I was the best-looking girl in our group, but he probably meant the other girls weren't hot. It happens that his group was all boys and they all dressed as girls. That used to be funny, you know. Like Milton Berle used to play a girl now and then in his comedy show, and Flip Wilson did it later.
I'm not positive, but I think that was the first time I wore a dress, although I remember when I was about 2 that Mom put her scarf on me and my brother when it was cool out, and I loved that too.
At about that same time I saw my sister's girlscout dress in her closet one day and decided to borrow it, so I could wear it in the bathroom when no one was around. Unfortunately, Mom found the dress in my hiding place one day and asked what I was doing with it, but I fibbed my way out of that embarrassment.
T-shirt says: "Hi, I Crossdress!"
That's a no brainer. It's because I can look like this and wear prettier clothes
"I'll try anything once" Sound familiar? This got me thinking. Maybe the question we should be asking our self's is why the second time. Most of us seemed to be hooked after the first time.
If it was easy, everyone would be doing it.
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