Stopped by police!

[KellyM]

I was on a trip away from home staying on a hotel. I was dressed and wanted to go out a little. I was wearing a nice black & gray dress (knee length) black opaque panty hose, loafers with 2" heels and a winter coat (about 30 degrees outside in Michigan). I walked out of the hotel and across the street (non-busy access street for the hotel) - along a row of businesses and a gas station. Was thinking about going in the station to get a candy bar, but decided not to. Then back to the hotel. Just before walking into the hotel, a cop stopped his car next to me and called to me. Then he asked me where I was going - where I had been - if I had ever been arrested - then asked me for ID. I gave him my drivers license and he checked to see if I was wanted. Then he returned the license. Not sure why he stopped me. I don't think I was doing anything suspicious. I can sort of pass - especially at night when it's dark. This was about 9 PM in a suburban type area. I don't know if he made me or what? Anyway obviously somewhere in the process he noticed I wasn't the woman he saw. I think maybe when he looked at my license. He really took a long look at it. Just before he let me go he said "It's kind of cold to be out here in heels and a skirt"

Anyway that's the first time something like that has ever happened to me. I hope it's the last. Once back in my room, I put on my one piece swimming suit and went to the hotel pool. I was the only one there so it felt good. This is only the second time I've ever gone swimming en femme. It was great!
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All in all, I had a good trip even with the little mishap.

Kelly

[arbon]

I always wonder what happens if you refuse to tell them where you were, were your going etc...
Are we under an obligation to answer?
And that he did not tell you why he stopped you seems really wrong.

[jenni_xx]

You say you can "sort of pass"? Did the policeman realise that you're a man?

Judging from your photo, you don't pass at all. But then you weren't wearing that particular outfit when you were stopped by the police.

Kudos to you though - you had a scary experience, and it didn't stop you. For that alone, you have my respect.

[Chickhe]

I would have politely asked him why he was stopping me, if he is detaining me? and I would have respectfully declined his invitation to see my ID if he was not detaining me (they can't detain you unless they suspect something illegal is going on)...in fact there is no requirement to carry ID. Don't lie about anything, but don't tell him anything. I suspect he thought you looked out of place for some reason and maybe they have issues with prostitutes in the area and he thought you looked underdressed?... The reason I would refuse, is not because I've ever done anything wrong, but because they could make a mistake. Suppose they did find a warrant for someone with a similar name and think it is you? Its is within the his rights to ask, but if you refuse and he searches you anyway, then you can't be convicted because it would be an illegal search, but if you allow him to go on his little fishing trip, he could find something else he doesn't like and arrest you for that.

[KellyM]

I don't think he knew I was a man when he stopped me. It was dark and he was looking at from the side, so he mostly saw my coat, hair, legs. I think he realized as soon as I started talking ans he looked right at my face. He said he stopped me because of the way I crossed the street. Not sure what he meant by that. I crossed at the corner. It was mostly just an access street for the hotel - not busy at all. Wasn't really brightly lit - but there was no traffic at all. I didn't want to make a deal out of it. I knew I didn't do anything wrong and figured he was just looking for something to do. Would have been nice to know when he knew I was not a woman. Maybe by the way I walked?? I wonder if they have a problem with hookers there? Maybe it looked strange walking into a hotel rather than driving.

[Sarah Beth]

I have been staying in a number of hotels around over the years and noticed the police checking car tags and have seen them stop people and ask them for id. Believe it or not they catch a lot of bad guys doing that. I have been asked myself in a hotel parking lot for my id, I wasn't dressed or anything but I had walked up the street to a reatuarant and was coming back to my room cutting through a couple of parkling lots. As long as they are polite about it I don't mind cooperating.

[~Joanne~]

Its is within the his rights to ask

Actually it is not. Not unless you are a suspect evolved in a crime and he is proof positive that it was you. We have this pesky thing called the constitution, most specifically the 5 th amendment, which is suppose to protect you from these sort of things. I am not saying they abide by it because lord knows they could care less and violate it daily but to stop you on the street for no reason and ask for all the information that he asked for is illegal. We're not in a complete police state.....yet.

[Heather-Hill]

Hi Kelly, I only wish we were not so far afield as I think we would have a great time together, hotel and swimming ... Bliss.
I was once attending a course here in the UK and stayed in a hotel in Strattford. In the evening after the first day I got dressed up en femme and went out to the local shops for just.window shopping.
I went back to the hotel and to my horror all the doors were secured. I was lucky to find that someone had opened a Fire Door and not closed it. Walking to my room I came across 2 of my colleagues and Lady Luck was on my side as they didn't blink an eyelid as I walked by!
Once in my room I was so giddy that it took me hours to come down to earth.
Best of wishes in your ventures.
Love & Hugs
Heather XX

[vikki2020]

Maybe that hotel has a history of "bad behavior"? I could see his interest in a single woman, walking around, dressed for success. Or, he could have clocked you, and it was plain old harassment.

[Stephanie47]

As a visitor I don't think you knew of the reputation of the area. I my area there is a strip of hotels/motels along I-5. There is always illegal activity going on, including car prowling and prostitution. My guess is the police officer observed you strolling without any apparent intent such as entering a store to shop. You aborted entry and returned to a hotel. In my area there is another strip of pavement with 'working girls.' It has been designated a 'hooker free zone" with signs and everything. Known prostitutes are barred from being on that strip and are subject to immediate arrest. If you are a visitor to either area you would not know of the history. Not to say it is right or wrong, constitutional or unconstitutional, but, you may not have known of all the facts of the area. The officer may have seen from your license that you are a male, and, more able to defend yourself than a visiting woman. If you were a woman, he may have told you to be cautious.

Frankly, if you know there is no warrant for your arrest I wouldn't go out of your way to start making a scene and escalate the situation, whether he is right or wrong.

[alwayshave]

Actually it is not. Not unless you are a suspect evolved in a crime and he is proof positive that it was you. We have this pesky thing called the constitution, most specifically the 5 th amendment, which is suppose to protect you from these sort of things.

Actually Joanne, the police officer is within his rights to ask. You are within your rights not to provide the ID without a warrant under the 4th amendment and maybe the 14th and 5th amendments' due process clauses. However, unless there are other people around who can refute what the police officer says, the practical consequences of refusing to give ID is you will be arrested for some other reason, such as disorderly conduct and upon arrest you will be searched and the ID taken.

If others are around, especially if they can record on a smartphone, then you can refuse all you want. As much as the police love technology when they use it to catch others, they hate it when you use it to protect your rights.

[Tracii G]

It really depends on the cop to be honest if he works that beat he will be watching for odd behavior.If you had gone in the store and got the candy bar then he may have not stopped you because you have proof you had a reason to go in there.
The whole refusal to give an ID just leads to trouble 80% of the time.Its not right I agree and you shouldn't have to but you get the wrong cop who doesn't care about the constitution he will make it very hard on you.
Case in point I was in Lowe's picking up some nuts and bolts and took a phone call and sat in the lot for about 30 min talking on the phone.
The police car was sitting in front of the store as I walked out.I didn't think much of it at the time.He drove up and said roll your window down sir and yes I was in 50/50 mode.
I cracked the window and said yes what is it? He asked what I was doing and I said talking on the phone.
He said you have been sitting there a while why is that? I said I'm on the phone and I don't want to be on the phone and driving its not safe IMO.
He asked for an ID and I said why I haven't broken any law have I?
He said I ran your plate sir you are free to go when you get done with your call.
Now if he figured I knew my rights well enough to question him maybe he should leave me alone.

[mikiSJ]

Sarah Beth is spot on. There are motels and there are motels with local bad reputations.

I would guess that cop would have stopped any woman walking the street at 9:00 PM in that location. Does 'walking the street' ring any bells.

[Beverley Sims]

I would say you were read, even at a distance do you still walk like a man and forget.
Maybe your body mass?
Big long strides are not very feminine.
So, he was just checking on ya.
Always be nice, he holds the trump card, all the time.

[kimdl93]

It's unnerving whatever the motivation. I had a similar experience a few months back. My take away is that you're less likely to encounter problems in daylight.

[Alice Torn]

Sounds like what happened to me my very second time out, in 2005. I went to a small coastal Washinton state town, at night, and to walk around. The cop watched from the moment i stepped out my car door. I walked a few blocks, with my pantyhose slipping down, having to pull them up! I got in my car and left town, with the cop folowing me several miles, then he turned on the flashing lights. He was asking what i was doing walking around town, when everything was closed. I told him i wanted to experience what it is to be a woman, and that is why i was dressed that way. He was professional, and had no problem with how i was dressed, but also said i was driving nervously, erratically. I told him i was nervous, and tired. He checked my license, and told me to go to my motel, and get some rest. I was so thankful it went ok.! It sounds like he only was concerned about a woman walking at night. It aint safe these days.

[Tracii G]

Alice I think you handled that well.He was just checking on you.
Makes a solid reason not to go out at night alone your first time or any time if you don't know the surroundings.

[Rhonda Darling]

Quite frankly, I'm very surprised that no one mentioned the fact that some cities have a very robust sex worker trade going on in some parts of town, and some towns have crossdresser/transgendered prostitutes working their trade. Police may have clocked you, having seen you coming and going from a hotel, and jumped to the conclusion that you were hooking as a guy in a dress.

Situational awareness is always vital to us when we're out and about.

Be safe, and congratulations for the quick recovery and being able to go to the pool.

Best,
Rhonda

[docrobbysherry]

I think u could easily pass in a dress, Kelly. We could guess all nite about his motives couldn't we? Here's mine.

He saw a woman walking alone at nite. U may have been a hooker, a drunk, or up to something. He may have had no opinion at all. Instead, he stopped u to ask!

[Marcelle]

Hi Kelly,

Sorry to hear about your experience but you seemed to handle it well and still managed to have a good time . . . Congrats.

WRT to providing ID I am not sure about your neck of the woods but up in my neck refusal to provide ID when requested by a police officer can wind you up in trouble (regardless of whether you are a suspect or it is a routine check). Point in case, me and friend were out late at night coming back from a bar.(I was in guy mode) and a city Police Officer stopped his car and asked us for ID. We weren't drunk just walking. I handed over my ID and that was the end of the conversation between me and the police officer, he gave it back and said have a good evening (it was military ID). My friend refused and said the officer had no right to demand ID as he had done nothing wrong, a verbal argument ensued and before I could talk my friend down he was under arrest for disorderly conduct. Regardless of whether it is right or wrong . . . the police will always win in the end and unless you are prepared to sit in lock-up in a dress and heels, I would always hand over the ID.

Hugs

Isha

[CarlaWestin]

I believe that in general when a police officer makes a routine stop, it's really more of a welfare check. I've always been very compliant with the police. Demanding your rights and causing any kind of resistance is only going to elevate suspicion that you might be really up to no good. I've been pulled over while dressed often. And back in the day they could actually arrest you for something as arbitrary as indescent exposure or lewd behavior. And seriously, I feel way safer with the police out there.

BTW, the last time I showed my ID to the police, it was accompanied by my CC permit. "It's in my purse."

[Lisa Gerrie]

"It's kind of cold to be out here in heels and a skirt"

That may well be what attracted his attention in the first place, if you seemed out of place. I was going to my own mailbox at 3am, and a cop shined his car-light on me and asked a few questions. I complied, then asked why, and he said that there had been some bike and garage-item thefts recently.

My point is that not everything is about the crossdressing itself. One side of this that rarely gets discussed is that we are, at least on the surface, in disguise. And we often do act nervous and furtive. Those are things that police officers tend to notice.

[Ressie]

I initially wondered where in Michigan this took place since I live in MI about 140 miles from Chicago. I think you got some answers that are right on in this thread. Prostitution, theft and other illegal activity become associated with some hotels. Hence, the police look for anything suspicious. This thread will help make us aware of what could happen when visiting hotels en femme.

[linda allen]

Any advice not to cooperate with the police or refuse to provide ID is just bad advice, constitution or not. Even the part about politely asking why you are being stopped. Refuse or decline to identify yourself and they can hold you until you can be identified. Like it or not, they can do it.

Best advice; Don't do anything suspicious in the first place but if stopped by the police, cooperate fully and don't give them a hard time.

[Barbra P]

The Supreme Court has upheld the right of a police officer to stop and identify.
Larry Hiibel was sitting on the side of Grass Valley Road when a police officer approached and told Hiibel that someone had reported a fight between a man and a woman. The officer asked Hiibel if he had any identification on him and Hiibel refused to show ID or give his name. After asking for identification eleven times, the officer warned Hiibel that he would be arrested if he refused to identify himself. Hiibel continued to refuse, and was arrested. He was charged with violating Nevada’s “stop and identify” statute. This law gave police the power to require a suspect to give his name. Hiibel was fined $250.
Hiibel argued that his arrest and the Nevada law were unconstitutional violations of the Fourth and Fifth Amendments. The Fourth Amendment protects individuals’ right to be “secure in their persons, papers and effects against unreasonable searches,” and the Fifth Amendment affirms that no one can be compelled (forced) to be a witness against himself.
His case eventually went to the Supreme Court. The Court ruled (5-4) that Nevada did not violate Hiibel’s Fourth and Fifth Amendment rights. “There is no question that the initial stop was based on reasonable suspicion, satisfying the Fourth Amendment,” the Court held. Further, Hiibel’s right against self-incrimination was not violated either. The Court reasoned, “disclosure of his name presented no reasonable danger of incrimination.” His name alone could not possibly incriminate Hiibel (give evidence of his guilt). Therefore, it was not a violation of his rights to require him to reveal it. This case set the president and literally every state has some sort of Stop & Identify law on the books.

In Hiibel’s case the officer was on a call but the courts have also upheld the right of a police office to Stop & Identify anyone that is acting in a suspicious or unusual manor, looks out of place for the location, or the location is a known area of criminal activities. Kelly had no way of knowing what the area around the hotel is like, nor do we. The police officer man have been responding to a call or he may have just been patrolling his beat and thought that Kelly appeared to be acting in a suspicious or unusual manor. Maybe someone called in from one of the businesses or the gas station called and reported a suspicious looking woman in the area. Maybe the area is a high crime area. Whatever the reason for the stop the officer could undoubtedly come up with a valid reason for stopping & identifying Kelly.

In ten years in law enforcement I can attest to the fact that a good deal of time gets spent stopping & identifying people. The police are trained to look for people who are dressed peculiarly – winter clothes in the summer or vice versa, loitering, acting furtive, the list is long. Most officers will also stop and check a person’s welfare, to see if they need assistance of some sort. Police officers, like most people, like to know who they are talking to, but their job dictates that under many conditions it is imperative that they know who it is they are talking to – in too many cases people’s lives depend on how well a police office does his/her job.