Hi guys, i've been on and off here since joining and well as my original username suggested when I was initially on here I wasn't sure where I was going after 9 years of cross-dressing on and off. Well I know feel I have turned a corner. Last time I was on here I had bought a pair of panties myself. After that purge a week or two later I felt awful about it and next time I was out of time in the airport myself bought another pair. Cutting jargon short I realized and got around to wearing because I enjoyed the feel of the clothes and how it made me feel. Last weekend I bought my Christmas outfit I wanted since i was a young teen and wished there was a present of lingerie under the tree for me or my mum would have too me to one side and gave to me. I realize everyone has there thing. Yes I am still closeted and have no aspirations to come out o the cd closet, though it is much easier with all my clothes (bar a pair of full tights- will buy my own at somepoint soon, sidenote i had bought my own 4 yrs ago before quick purge.. and the shoes borrow that a fam member doesn't wear). There may be tough times ahead and if I get a girlfriend I know there will still be times I want me time dressed up and there may be a barrier there and whether I tell/show her early on the relationship or keep a secret that might tear us apart. Anyways super happy and anyone that are not accepting of themselves I say not to worry, I truely believe that ur day will come to know ur cd stage and what it means to you.