Hi gang,
I need some advice, opinions, thoughts, etc..., from people who live in the real world, and not who think CD are bizarre.
Here's my backstory: been a CD to some degree since I was 5 or 6. Always enjoyed it, can't explain why. As a teen, I started doing it more, and eventually people found out, and, as you can expect, things got quite heated (as teens can be very judgmental).
I stopped for years, simply because of society's views on it, but it always lingered there. A few years later, I began to cd again in private, and over time, the desire to do it more grew.
Here’s where I’m at today: I’m married, and I have a desire to do it more frequently, but have been at an internal conflict of what is right and wrong, based on life experiences, as well as societal norms. I have desires to do it more regularly, and out in public, but I don’t for various reasons.
Things started bubbling up late summer, and I’ve been thinking them over ever since. I’m now at the point where I do have strong desires to do this regularly and more openly… but I know it would mean my marriage wouldn’t really be realistic. That said, I want to make it known my wife is accepting of who I am and what I do. She’s always been ok with me doing it around the house, etc. But the two things that are sticking points for her is that she ultimately wants me to be happy, and that if I do this the majority of the time, it would be hard on her, as she wants to be married to a guy. And while she wants me to be happy with who I am, she’s understandably scared for me. The city I live in is very progressive, being a university city, but at the same time, even with half a dozen major campuses, it’s still very small and things get around fast.
I’ve been struggling with this my whole life, trying to process who I am and what I need. This has always been a struggle of mine, and I’ve never been completely able to accept it.
What do you folks think? I’m afraid to move on, but I’m also carrying a strong burden to dress how I want.