Do as I say ----

[rocval2001]

I was not sure on the best post title - sorry. As I was crawling on the expressway in the middle of a lake effect snow fall I was thinking of my life. I feel that I pretty confident that I should have been a female. But am I going to move forward at the tender age of 53? At this point I very much doubt it. I am thinking of retiring in 12 to 15 years. Grand parent is not that far off. Based upon family history I may only have 20 to 25 years left on this earth. My best years are behind me and there was a lot I missed. I have best friend with my wife, a great son and awesome daughter in law. Can I survive - yes I have done it for 53 years. Am I going to be moody some days, depressed some, yes I am. I guess the point I wanted to make - is that I should have grown a pair [in this case it would have been breast hee hee] and taken care of this a long time ago. If you are young and there is any question about your gender please go see a therapist, remove the doubt and life long what ifs. Thank you for letting me ramble a bit.

[Karren H]

If you think the best years are behind you.... you already lost the game! lol I'm 62 and there is no way that I'm not going have some awesome years ahead..... I'll make sure of that.... or die trying...

[Marcelle]

Hi,

I agree with Karen. None of use can say our best years are behind us because we don't know how long we are going to be here. You could be 23 and get hit by a car tomorrow or live to the ripe old of age of a 110. I fully understand your decision and would not deride that but at 53 you can still move forward if you choose to. I did not take away from your post if your wife and family know or not. If they know then half the battle is done.

Hugs

Isha

[kimdl93]

Your wife is your best friend, you have great kids...and maybe 25 years to try out things...don't count yourself out. Talk to your wife about how you feel and with her support, perhaps you can find a path that can work in the years ahead.

Good advice though to the young uns. Youth should be about exploring possibilities...trying on different roles, even gender roles, to see what fits. Don't wait needlessly. Experiment.

[Laura912]

This is where the old methane expellers will jump in and say you aint't seen nothing yet! CDing at 72 has it's advantages. e.g. Cleavage is easier cause skin is looser. You may be one of those who get a little gynecomastia when they age. You can go shopping and not care what the sales people think. Have a little more income for clothes. Probably old enough to know your sizes so do not waste a lot of time getting rid of stuff. And finally, probably have told your spouse who is supportive (moi).

[UNDERDRESSER]

I'm with Karen, I'm 57. I'm in better shape than I have been in a long while, maybe ever. I've found out some things about myself, I've finally found a life partner. Things are looking good. Does that mean you should transition? Maybe not, even if you are a female trapped in a man's body. But don't think age has to be a factor. What is a factor is what your wife and family mean to you, and what they will make of it.

[JamieQ]

I feel that I am getting old too...50. My family history of longevity puts me as the oldest other than one aunt that is in her sixties. How much time do any of us have...who knows. I think I am in better shape with everything (physical, mentally, etc) that I have been in a long time...so I am proceeding forward...to what point...I do not know... What I should have, could have, would have...is all in the past...and the real deal is now...

[Kath]

Wonderful philosophy makes two of us at 72 with exception of wife knowing and accepting on this end.

[Sophie Yang]

I guess the point I wanted to make - is that I should have grown a pair ... and taken care of this a long time ago. If you are young ...

You are young as you feel ... Take a look at several posts titled "Late Bloomers." I started late and really enjoying myself.

[Beverley Sims]

I hated my fourtieth birthday as everyone that attended thought like you do.
Think like there is a future out there and look out for new career prospects.
You may be in a rut like the rest of the drones at work, but keep thinking outside the circle.
Keep going to Disneyland... It's still a young world for all of us.

No! Dizzy land...."It's a small world after all".

[Jackie7]

I was 50 when I began to come out to my then-wife and 54 when I was outed to the world. The years since have been the most interesting, most pleasurable of my life and I don't see that changing. By the way I am CD and somewhat bigendered but have no plans to transition.

[Desirae]

I agree with OP rocval2001, to me it's just not going to be worth it that late in life. Obviously, no one can say for certain how long they'll live. But, averages are 75 - 77 for men. Sure, there can be good times in your life when you're older, but maybe the best times would have been in your late teens into your early 30s. Maybe that's what she means by her nest times are behind her. Similar to the 53 years that she has made it, I have made it 48 years with the way things are. I haven't killed myself. Sure, I get depressed about what I wish I had done if I only knew then what I know now, but that's just the way it is. I can't change it, so I just go on as best I can. I can no longer bring myself the total happiness that I should have brought myself a long time ago, so I search a little harder and try and experience some other kinds of happiness in different ways.

[Tora]

First, count your blessings, move forward without burning the bridge behind you. Karren is right, be well.

[Stephanie Sometimes]

Ahhh, to be 53 again!

Hey listen, I'm 64 and finally getting into really exploring my femme self. Should I have done it sooner? Yes, but I don't think it's worth spending a millisecond worrying about what you should have done or what could have been. Life could have turned a lot worse for sure! You likely have a lot of years left so take advantage of them as they may turn out to be some of your best. There are so many options nowadays to explore your gender identity, you may not need to go full blown TS to get some of the fulfillment that has been missing in your life. You now have the life experiences to make better decisions than ever, Go for it!

Hugs,
Stephanie

[rocval2001]

You girls are always the best - thank you for the responses. In the move The Big Chill there is a line from the Jeff Goldbloom character who said " Life is a rationalization" maybe that what I was doing. I do count my blessings the core family is great. Love ya all - Valerie

[Tracii G]

I agree with Karren get out there and explore and have fun with CDing if that makes you happy.
I'm 61 and don't care what people think of my life and the choices I make ......I earned the right to do what I want when I want.
If I knew about transitioning 30 years ago I would have done it no question.I could actually do it know but just don't see the need because I know who and what I am and that is fine with me.