Being Passable

[Lacyfem]

I know that most of us would love to be passable but it's not always possible. I've been told when dressed fully, makeup, wig, jewelry and all I'm quite passable. One of my problems with being passable is my height at 6'2" and if I put on 4 or 5" heels I get so tall that I draw attention which I'm not necessarily looking for. The other thing which has been brought up by my wife is when we see a crossdresser who is definitely passable at first glance, my wife will say look at her hands, "she is definitely not a woman". So it's really hard for us to pass as women see things that most of us don't see but she is absolutely correct as my hands are defintely masculine and in photos try to keep them subdued if I can. Hands are a give away gurls no matter how hard we try to look fem on the outside. Of course their are exceptions as we've seen gurls who defintely pass in every aspect. But gurls when dressed watch the hands and don't draw attention to them if you don't want to be outted. Love opinion os this as real women will always go to the hands if there is a question.

[Devin C]

Very very ture.

[Zylia]

Define 'quite passable'

Hands can be a giveaway (e.g. size, 'roughness', shape and state of your nails) and you can try and hide them in plain sight by drawing people's attention away from them, but this is definitely diminishing returns territory. If you don't want to be outed, you shouldn't look like a dude in a wig and a dress. Many of us do anyway.

[Kate Simmons]

I must be part of the fortunate few. I utilize my hands constantly when I'm dancing and no one has ever said I look like a man. Whether we pass (or don't pass) will always be in the eye of the beholder anyway as you correctly say.

[VeroS]

Whoever said if you can fool some of the people some of the time you are doing ok has got it right. I feel that I am probably getting away with it if somebody calls me Madam in a shop or café. For me the main giveaways are feet, hands and voice.

[teri g]

The list of visual tells is long. Not only hand size but foot size, height, adam's apple, shoulder-to-hip ratio, head and neck size etc. I guessing that the reason hand size is even being checked is that suspicion has been aroused and further investigation is being made. I agree with those that have said if your hands have to be checked then you've already reached a large measure of success. It's already been said that what we're really trying to do is fool the eye. If you're "tall" and you wear high heels or if you have narrow hips and you wear a tight skirt with no padding are you really trying to blend? It's easy to find examples of gg's who have wider shoulders, are taller, have bigger hands etc. but it's the complete package that adds up to the overall impression. You've got to be honest with yourself. Dress how you want but if you have the shoulders of an iron worker and you choose to wear a white spandex top, you're not trying to blend. If you're over 6' tall and you wear high heels, you're not trying to blend. If you have not butt shape and you wear pink yoga pants, you're not trying to blend. If you want to blend, disguise your male traits.

[Danielle_cder]

i agree i hate my hands they give me away for sure

[Jorja]

Well, after 30 replies posted I think you get the idea. Just go be your sweet loveable self and don't worry about what you can't change.

[Chari]

IMO there is more to being (presenting as) a woman. It will not only be your hands and height - although there are many very tall GG's with those attributes, others may consider attitude, voice, and actions as well as your attire, jewelry, makeup, wig, heels, and consider them to be too perfect or out of place. Presenting yourself as the best feminine image possible does take continuous practice and control. Some of us learn quickly enjoying our feminine mode, while others need to take a little longer.

[thisgal16]

I agree with chari it is better to spend your time on the things that you can change and improve upon. We notice things like hands, height, and size of feet more than the average person due to we are looking for it.

[Barbra P]

That’s true for you wipper-snappers but not so much for us senior citizens – gnarled, spotted hands look pretty much the same whether on a man or a woman. But there are other tell-tails that most people don’t think about. I knew a DDA (Prosecuting Attorney) who watched a female witness walk down the aisle and take the witness stand and his opening question was something to the order of “ are you a transsexual or a cross dresser?” In this case it was the elbows that were the giveaway. He noticed that as he woman walked down the aisle her arms angled in rather than out, women’s arms tend to angle out at the elbows to clear the hips. While this isn’t a 100% indicator it was in this case and he was able to discredit the witness. BTW: most men walk with their palm facing to the rear and by turning the palms inward we can more or less produce the same look.

[Candice Mae]

I hate my hands, if it was possible and practical to get a hand transplant I would do it before SRS.

[jaye_cd]

The way the body reacts/interacts are usually the big tells with mannerisms. Stand up, lift your foot off the ground. Chances are you probably lifted your knee in the air where as most women will lift their foot into the air behind them. Point at the wall. Is your hand palm up? Probably not. Most women will tip their finger at the object they are pointing to with their palm up. These have just been a few of my general observations over the years, but posture and mannerisms will definitely impact your ability to blend in.

[Jaylah414]

You all look so lovely. I don't know why any of you would fret.

As for me, hands are only the beginning. I don't know how many times someone has said, "My, what big, strong hands you have!" For me, it's not the big eyes and the big teeth. Folks can tell that I ain't granny by more than my hands. Thirty-five years of hard work and competitive sports have left their mark. Right now, my biggest worry is how to get a close shave without looking like someone used my face (and other body parts) for a pin cushion. A glance at my busted up feet is a sure sign that I'll never have the pleasure of wearing open toed shoes. But, one thing I know is that I'm going to have a lot of fun trying to figure these things out.

[tylia]

I agree with Candice. my hands are like ham-hocks....i always wear gloves (the lacey kind in summer) when en femme. Winter and fall it's always gloves anyway

[Hell on Heels]

There is certainly no way to hide it. Gloves work but seem out of date to me, unless attending a black tie affair. The best I've come up with is long sleeves with some large cuffs to pull partially over your hands, and don't put them out there for the world to see.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[Rachael Leigh]

I agree hands do look different on men and women I have long fingers and in some ways have somewhat feminine hands but I'm sure they don't look enough if you look hard.
Now as far as passing I want so bad to know that I know if I chose to go out I would look good enough to at least blend and not be so nervous that I make it so people might take a second look. There are times when I makeup myself I think hey I can pass then I look again and think not a chance. I'm one of those that if I go for it I will just dress very conservative and not flashy so I can blend, just wish I had someone to go with that would help me feel comfy .

[Beverley Sims]

When my hands were smooth and slender it was good.
I still have smaller but rough hands although I have narrow wrists.

[Jodi]

None of us are passable. We all have little things that will trigger the "it's a man" response.

You live in palm Springs. Don't ever worry about passing. Just go out and have fun.

My brother has performed in many shows at the Palm Canyon Theater. I went to see one of his shows 2 years ago and it was tranny night. All of the ushers in the theater were cd's. The people loved it.

Palm Springs is tranny paradise. Go anywhere you want and do anything you want to do.

Jodi

[Launa]

Palm Springs is tranny paradise. Go anywhere you want and do anything you want to do.

Jodi

Well if this is the case then I will retire in Palm Springs. My hands are size 4x so I'm screwed for trying to hide them. The good thing is there is lots of room for nail art

[RenneB]

Yep, just another one of the mannerisms to master.... Here's one about hands. When you look at your finger nails do you turn your palm up and curl your fingers to see the nails? Male. If you hold your hand out palm down and out stretch your fingers... female..

I say, do the best you can with what you've got and get on out there... if you want.

Renne.....

[Roberta Marie]

I rarely, if ever, pass. While, at times I try to look as feminine as possible, I don't necessarily try to pass. If, when someone does a double take, they have to ask themselves, "Is that a man or a woman?", I feel that I'm successful. I identify as dual gendered, in the middle of the gender spectrum. There are times when I present as a woman, and there are times when I present as a man, and there are times when I present in the middle (both masculine and feminine). I really don't care if I pass as a woman. I do care that I pass as myself.

[Brooklyn]

My ex-wife had larger hands than me, but passing does not solve our deeper issues. Be grateful you have hands with all your fingers, pull out that knuckle hair, and go enjoy yourself!

[Jaymees22]

"You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time." I would be happy fooling some of the people some of the time. You are correct I think the hands and feet are obvious giveaways and if that's true then a lot of us can't pass even wearing a Burka. I did compare my hands to my step daughters a few weeks ago and they were the same size, so I guess she has large hands and mine are small for our respective sexes. Jaymee

[KaceyR]

Interesting stuff I never thought of. (All the various tells) Myself, I've got real small hands and do computer work (so they're only moderately bulky)..but they can get a little hairy at times. Fine,blonde,esp on fingers, it's hard to see but it's there.
And actually, for several years, my winter gloves were already from the female sizings..small.
Male smalls still left me with that extra finger overhang I hated.. Soo
With my maid outfit, I actually had lace gloves...although that was more to coverup not doing nails...