Male or Female? Challenge - ALL Welcome to Reply

[RADER]

For myself;
1. I was born Male
2. I act as a Male outside of my house. And yes I do enjoy being a Boy.
3. As soon as i return home, I try to get those boy clothing off, and get into a dress.
For about 6 years now, I wear fem jeans all the time, I have been wearing Panties for about 8 years.
I would never pass in a million years, there is nothing about me that could look Fem, even with a gallon
of paint and a ton of plaster; And the worst thing is I wear size 14- WWWW Shoes in a man size.
So I will stay in my "Closet" and enjoy my dressing.
Rader

[MissTee]

Years (and years) ago my wife and I pondered much the same way. She said once she processed the change in veneers she learned I was still me. That is, with the exception of Misty's trademark obsession with cute shoes.

[Lucy_Bella]

This is very hard for me to answer due to not being able to mention a certain feature of what really drives me to dress..

My dressing has nothing to do with gender or feeling like a different gender and everything to do with the erotic aspects of the presentation .. Sexual attraction growing up for me was embedded by advertising and media with attractive ladies as sex objects to sell products of just about anything we buy..Combine that with curious dressing as a child and puberty hitting , viola !!! No change for me at all ..

1. Male

2. Can not answer due to the restriction of the question

3. Very feminine and mostly trashy

4. Male

5. Male.

[Brooklyn]

There is not a instant transformation for me, but since I accepted who I am and came out, I have become significantly more cheerful and feminine. Maybe it's the person who was there all along... or could a life-long dress-wearing habit eventually become part of who you are? There is no way that living part-time as the opposite gender cannot re-wire you a little.

Gender plays a fundamental role in how we think about ourselves and our relationships to others. If it didn't, we wouldn't be supporting each other through this forum, I wouldn't have a therapist, and being trans wouldn't matter. One can say we are all just "people" in the most spiritual sense, but it's delusional to think that gender identity and presentation aren't important. To me, that's like saying race, religion, economic class, or sexual orientation don't really matter either. There are probably as many ideas about what being feminine means as there are people on the planet, but how can one dismiss the importance of gender among a group of people who struggle with gender identity on a daily basis? I'm not getting the arcs of fire and so on, somebody help me out here...

[Stephanie Julianna]

Isha,

There is no difference between Bob and Stephanie. Steph just gets to dress the way she wants and Bob doesn't. Because my job as a hospice RN, not only allows me, but requires me to be caring and sensitive, I don't have to hide my feminine side. A nurse I work with told me over the lunch table that she believed that I was 50% male and 50% female. When I asked her if she felt that way about all men she stated that I was one of the few that she saw that in. I was inwardly thrilled and scared at the same time that she was so perceptive. I'm very happy how I turned out. I have to admit that I am closer to my daighters and granddaughters than my son and grandsons. My children know about Steph but I'm not sure that I will ever tell my grandchildren.

[Sophie Yang]

Interesting question as usual. In the now, I would agree that you will see a “person” plain and simple. What you see is one's personality. Your friends described you as the same person with just a different shell. I think one's personality does change, but slowly over time. One's basic personality is set between age 10 and 12. One's mood may change because of an outside stimulus that triggers a change in mood. If I say that Isha is a happy, inquisitive, people person, that is not going to change just because Isha is having a bad hair day. Isha is just moody that day.

Those who overcome a personal disability develop coping mechanisms to deal with their disability. For example, Joe Biden, the Vice President of the United States, overcame a stuttering disorder. Plenty tough to do in a private setting. Yet now, he goes out performing public speeches. I am just assuming that this helped his self-confidence as a younger man and his affected his personality. In general, when one says that someone is confident, an alpha male, is a statement about his personality, not his mood.

Cross dressing taps into ones female personality. Everyone has one to some degree or another and she manifests her self or is allowed to manifest her self to some degree or another. This is similar to everyone is ambidextrous to some degree or another. Does addressing one's T-ness affect ones personality? Probably not in day-to-day events. Personality doesn't change on a whim.

However, there maybe one dramatic event that releases ones constrained personality or constrains it even further. The dreaded talk with one's spouse or SO. Assuming that all goes well and one has a supportive spouse or SO, one's suppressed feminine personality will grow and blossom over time. However, if the talk doesn't go well, ones feminine personality may go dormant. If an adult nurtures a young child, one can see the young child's personality develop and grow, even though the child may not. If one doesn't nurture and support the child, the child's development may be hindered or develop in unacceptable ways.

For those who have successfully transitioned from not going out to going out have to feel different about themselves. Each successful outing builds one's confidences and desire to continue going out. Negative outings temper ones outlook and desire. Each feminine experience builds on the previous experiences. The building process may be imperceptible. But in the long run, ones personality will change to some degree.

When I was at the Grand Canyon, I could clearly see what erosion had done. I could not see what erosion was doing while I was there and probably not see any change if I were to return in another 20 years. But I know it is changing, I just cannot see it.

[mykell]

i feel good when i dress, sometimes some femininity shows from my walk, tried talking sweeter when driving in my car alone, not very convincing, but after all is said, all is done it comes down to this for me, when i dress in "guy" clothes or I dress "en femme" clothes and my dog trots into the room he doesn't see a "man" or a "woman" he sees me, he reacts to me, why cant everyone do it .....




sorry if that is too simple ...

[Jaylyn]

1. Male
2. Male. Shoulders big broad and strong, only feminine part I have maybe a gals runner legs...... And they are debatable.
3. Mostly male and very much manly. I do look at women's styles and wish sometimes for the same.
4. Male/Female, the older I get the more emotional I am getting. What used to never caused me to shed a tear now has me
With a moist eye. I don't think this cames from my dressing just from my age. I am getting more tender hearted also, a
Lot more acceptable of others views. I guess less Macho. Wife likes me better this way. Don't know if it's age or dressing.
5. Both male and female.. I hunt, fish, boat, weld, woodwork, love animals and Grandkids. Wife does the same with me.
Except she has less desires to do some of these activities.

[yvonne10]

I'm empathic, so it basically goes down to a "soul" level for myself where no such thing as gender really exists. I assume the qualities of who and what I want to be at any given time by my own personal choice so am not "locked in" to looking or acting any certain way.This puts me in charge of my own destiny more or less.Works for me Hon.

With regards to your question
How do we really know what it is to feel like a woman as we grew up as men we can only think that we want to look as good as they do and that is the feeling that we want if we try to think what we feel like as a male (which is "normal" )the we realise that a female also feels the same) so we are only trying to find something that is not ther and never will be

[MaryAnn40c]

I am a girl in the wrong body......I wear women clothes all the time....jeans,undies,bra,nylons ect but not at the same time...I am going to be a women fulltime( ahhh like I am now) fast.....ear rings are a huge thing so is clothing...really only gg's know about zippers but they don't say .

[AmyGaleRT]

A very thought-provoking question, Isha!

For my part, when you get past the clothes, the genetics, and all of the factors you cited, I believe myself to have a soul that is part male and part female, even though it's housed in a body that is genetically male. Normally the male part is dominant, but the female part is still "in the background." When I dress as Amy, the female part of me comes to the fore, and the male part goes into the background. While I am Amy, I strive to be the best woman I can be, to give that part of my soul a "better fit." But both parts are present throughout, and they both draw on my central store of experiences and knowledge.

- Amy

[Dena]

I'm just big 'ol me! I'm not the manliest guy, and I have difficulty just letting go and acting feminine. I'm like a dog, trying to act like a cat!
After I got a handle on what colors and styles looked better on me, I found I liked to be read. So I'm a guy who likes to choose from all the clothes that are available.

[anna kate]

I went to the source, asked the wife. "What's it feel like to be a woman?" Her reply was, "I don't know, what's it feel like being a man?" We could go back and forth forever, trying to figure this out. So, I'm going to say, that emulating a woman, as close as I can, is as close as I'm ever going to come, to knowing what it feels like to be a woman. I do like being treated like a woman, when I'm dressed. You know what, I'm fine with that.
Happy Holidays all.
Anna Kate

[cdintraining25]

I'm comfortable as identifying as a male even when I'm Cding. I've been on dating/cam sites while dressed up so people have seen me and I'm comfortable with that but if asked or pushed to make a decision I'd say I'm male. When I'm dressed I'm probably a hair more conservative (As any classy lady should be) but my normal personality doesn't really swing either way.

[Julia Welch]

I don't change, I'm just a guy who enjoys wearing womens clothing ... but my legs look amazing in a skirt, hose and heels

[Secret Drawer]

It may help to answer your question with another question; What does it mean to be a man or a woman? Can a GG really answer that without reverting to your no fly zone rules? A gender male? In fact, there seems to be no real meaningful difference outside of genetics. But, within societal limits there most certainly are gender and gender role differences. Ironically, in our western societies, there is absolutely nothing a woman cannot do that a man does... Including wearing male centric clothing! So while men are left with specific clothing only, and out of things like showing emotion or being able to feel vulnerable, women are not let out of being aggressive, competitive, or even cold hearted (in any clothing presentation they wish!).
According to societies rulesets, I actually have never been a real man... EVER! But then again, how many women are real women in this impossible social model? The problem is we live in a disillusioned society. Most people (outside, perhaps!?) this forum still hold firm belief in this gender specific ideology.
Thus we only have this outmoded form of thought to define ourselves. I don't know what it is like to be a woman because I am not one... Physically! Yet conversely, that doesn't mean I automatically do know what it is like to be a man mentally even though I am one physically!
The problem here is the “usual suspects” issue. I am willing to die for my children, surely that is manly? Umm... most mothers would do the same without hesitation... Well, I like doing things like fishing and carpentry work, yeah, thats manly right? There are many professional sport-fishing women, as well as many superior woodworking women out there, it takes non gender specific skill sets to do both well! We could continue on down the list ad nauseam and find no real answers.
If we take sex and sexuality head on, it is probable that for most humans that whatever genetic reproductive organs you were born with effect the sexual brain development in specific ways, yet it need not extend into the realm of gender orientation or gender role overall. In fact, to answer your friends comment on how you did not change in personality, I have no issues going so far as saying it doesn't matter whether I have a penis or a vagina, I am still going to be the same me that I ever was!

[Sometimes Steffi]

Steffi is way more extroverted than my boy-self who is very introverted. Steffi is a "hugger", my boy self is fearful of any public displays of affection. Steffi is also very concerned about how she looks, how she dresses and how she presents. She likes to be very well "put together". My boy self will wear whatever in on the top of the pile, or what still on the floor, as long as it is the same color scheme. Steffi loves to shop and will even go thru a who rack of jeans at a thrift store to see if there are any special ones in there. My boy self won't even shop at TJ Maxx, because too often, he will find the perfect color shirt, but it's never in his size.