Ups and downs

[Steph_CD_62]

I have noticed lately that my emotions have been up and down like a yo yo lately. There are times I want to be dressed all the time, and other times I wonder why I even dress at all. Since it has gotten colder I have even thought about going out in public wearing more female clothing, but hidden by my winter coat.

I am sure everyone has gone through this, and I have in the past but never with this many high and lows.

I don't know if it is the holidays or what my wife said the other day.

My wife and I were discussing the lack of us being intimate with each other. I said that she is either tired or hurting (fibromyology sp) and I didn't want to start anything. She said she never starts anything because I am ALWAYS dressed. The funny thing is that I hadn't dressed in front of her for about 2 weeks.

I don't expect any answers, I just needed to get this written down and off my chest.

I am still dressing, but only while my wife is at work where before I would dress a couple times a week in front of her.

[StacyCD]

I've started dressing up a lot more at home. My SO tolerates it but is not too accepting. I keep hoping that she will warm to the idea that it's still me in a different set of clothes. Hope springs eternal for 2014!

[NikiMichelle]

To me, you have described The Pink Fog. I am in it right now myself however I have to snap out of it with the Christams Holidays here. We had our oldest daughter and her family here this weekend (yippee; grandkid time!), my mother-in-law arrives tomorrow until Dec 29 and we are heading out of town Dec 29 until Jan 1.

I've slipped into something comfortable for tonight but that will be it for a while...but that is OK...Christmas is all about family and friends...my heels can stay in the closet until the New Year!

[Billiejosehine]

The ups and down are the worst feeling and I have experienced them more so this year then in the past; once my family learned about my desire in being a women. My SO has not taken it well and is not very accepting; this has caused a riff and there's no intimacy. She hasn't seen me dressed, but I do underdress all the time and wear women's pants when she's not around and I'm in public. On the few occasions she has seen me with shaved legs or chest she gets all weirded out. I have seen her moods go up and down as we'll, as she learns more; which makes things in our relationship very difficult. But I'm going to continue to dress in the clothes I prefer and I'm taking it day by day to see what happens. I know that I personally am ready to begin my transition so that's going to make a big impact on things.

[Beverley Sims]

I used to have mood swings at one time and I think your wife is going through a similar phase.
I would tread carefully while she is in this mood.

[brassieres]

It seems that most women do not like their SO's crossdressing. Its just the way it is I guess.

[linda allen]

Every relationship is different so you'll have to figure out yours on your own.

As far as emotions, we all have those ups and downs, especially around Christmas time. It's normal and you will survive.

[Katey888]

Dear HMG - I know you didn't expect any answers, but I have to say it seems to me you are doing the right thing in keeping your dressing separate from 'normal' times. It sounds to me that she is experiencing difficulty with your dressing but is not necessarily able to tell you - hence the push back. And your reaction is to descend into the 'pink fog' (I know a bit about this, but I have to keep it deep in the wardrobe) because you can feel more comfortable and that's your release.
I'd recommend talking to her as much as you can - I know I wish I could talk to my wife but circumstances preclude that for now - this forum has also helped me a lot to keep things in perspective. What we do we struggle to control - perhaps if she understood that more it would help your communicating?
Feeling for you... Kateyx

[Lynn Marie]

I do believe that your dressing has caused a certain loss of that "loving feeling" in your spouse and I can empathize with her. The key question here is, can you?

[JocelynJames]

This pretty much describes how I feel, a veritable roller coaster. I've worn panties all but 3 or 4 days the past 2 years, and since I work with all guys, have to keep wary of their location. This is pretty stressful. My SO didn't know this about me when we first married and although she is accepting, except for here , no one else knows I dress. Sometimes it will be a few weeks since I dressed, sometimes a few times a week. I see no rhyme or reason. Some days I feel I could dress always, some days I would like to stop- I have no answers only that this is my "normal" now.

[mary something]

Hope you find a place off the rollercoaster for a while, it sounds stressful.

[marshalynn]

You have to try to under stand her feelings, what if she wanted to be a man, dress in all man clothes, grow a bread and chew tobacco, I don't think you would be happy and loving of her. If this can work out it will take time and under standing from both of you. I hope your life turns out great for the two of you. have a very merry christmas

[Steph_CD_62]

what if she wanted to be a man, dress in all man clothes, grow a bread and chew tobacco

My wife is a jeans and t-shirt type of girl.

She buys ALL of her jeans in the men's section and probably 95% of her t-shirts in the men's section. So this is not an issue.

She smokes cigarettes, and I don't smoke. I wish she would quit but I know that probably won't happen.

I dated a woman that had to wax her upper lip on a regular basis and that never bothered me.

She sees no problems with her wearing clothing made for men, but isn't thrilled when I wear lingerie. She has stated in the past that if I wanted to wear outer clothing made for women that she wouldn't have a problem with it.....as long as it they weren't too girly.

The key question here is, can you?

Yes I can, and I am doing everything I can not to dress in front of her

I'd recommend talking to her as much as you can - Feeling for you... Kateyx

I communicate as much as possible. But lately work has really been stressing her out, and she has been coming home in really bad moods where I don't dare try to talk to her about my dressing.