so last night my wife an i were sitting on the couch and she told me she was read to see me dressed for the first time but not completely done up kind of tone it down. guess she is ready to start to see me but i know she is nervous about it.
so what should i wear? skirt and a top, jeans and a top, dress, no make up some make up, forms no forms, wig no wig? PLEASE HELP!!! i have thought about this for so long but only ever in full on girl mode not a 50/50 look
Natalie that photo of you is awesome sis but maybe too much for a first view of your wife?
good luck with this and give your wife a big hug for trying to understand this and offering
you love and support.
That could mean something different to everyone, so it is hard to tell what she is hoping to see.
I am sort of thinking: forms, dress and wig, no makeup and very few accessories.
in your picture, you do look very pretty! Good luck, I am very excited for you!
Stephanie
Natalie - you look lovely in the picture, and while I have no experience of crossing this particular Rubicon, I would caution against anything too much or even too 50/50. Why don't you ask her, check her expectations?
Good luck anyway - me, I'd go for it...
Kx
"Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear" Stefani Germanotta
Brush a little powder on your face, not too much.
Lipstick and maybe mascara.
Wear a wig, so as you do not look like a man in a dress.
Yes, wear forms, not too large, they do not need to be prominent but they need to be there.
A blouse/shirt, jeans and flatties are good.
This keeps the tone down to a dull roar.
Skirt, top, stockings and heels can be in chapter two.
Do it right, not over the top and there will be a chapter three.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
I agree with Katy, just ask her what she expects. Tone it down a bit can be anything from just put on a dress and nothing else to I am ready for the full you but not a mini skirt with 4"heels. She may just want to still be able to see her man in the woman in front of her. Good Luck!
Hugs
Ellen Jo
Somtimes the light's all shining on me, Other times I can barely see.
Lately it's occured to me.....What a long strange trip it has been.
Truckin by the Grateful Dead
I agree with asking her what she might be most comfortable with, but she may not have an answer. So, I would go with something well coordinated, but casual. Probably slacks and a nice to for starters. I'd put some time into your make up and hair...not a rush job and go very understated on the eye shadow and mascara. Remember you only have one chance to make a first impression.
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Natalie:
I recommend a different approach. Since your photo is really great, sit down with her ahead of "T-Day" and show her the photo(s) of yourself and ask her what she sees, what she thinks, and most importantly, how she feels looking at the photos. Go slowly with this.
Then, tell her that you really want this to make a good first impression, so you plan to dress fully, but in a simple classical and classy manner. You'd like her to watch you change from M to F, but only the makeup application part. Get you clothes, forms, etc, including wig on first and let her see you. Then, with her watching, remove the wig, do your makeup, asking for her advice as you do it, then add back the wig. This way she won't see what I find the most awkward or embarrassing part -- that of a man putting on layers of women's underwear, forms, pads, etc., which looks too contrived to the uninitiated. She can get used to seeing that part later.
This way, she doesn't really see you half done up, but sees her guy looking pretty, putting on makeup to be even prettier, much as all women do. Should soften the blow.
Good luck.
Rhonda
Be sure to come back and tell us all how it went.
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Be all the woman that you can be!
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. . . and now, On With The Show!
Natalie, I made a 'transition" video for my wife. I shot the whole process, then edited it down to about 6 minutes. The purpose was two fold: 1) she could see as much as she could handle, and 2) it is just a tad more distant that full frontal. We watched the video together and my wife didn't stop the video but she could have. Your conundrum is that neither you nor she knows what might be too much, today.
Best of luck
I'd suggest a skirt and top at first. See how she handles it. Then ask if she would like to see the wig on.
It's easier to build up slowly and she can see it is just you wearing different clothes.
My wife has seen it all and been out with me, from way back, but she prefers I not wear the makeup nor the wig at home.
DonnaT
same page as Beverely - keep it toned waaaay down. Nice blouse but not too femmy (no loud colors), jeans or slacks and flats or maybe sandals with low/no heel. No wig, maybe even no makeup first time and no forms but yes to the bra so long as its a fitted bra (fitted meaning it follows your chest and not baggy/empty). Let her see you "dressed in girls clothes" but still be you the first time. If your "sloppy" as a guy then let your girl side be the difference - nice slacks and blouse/top. She just might like the girl side better after a while.
If she's ok with that step, then next time or later down the road add forms, then a bit of makeup. You almost need to let her ask to see you in a dress. At that point you can tell her that you'll wear a wig (or style your own hair) as you don't want to look like a "guy in dress". I remember to this day the first time my wife saw the "complete" me. The first time she met me she thought I was a girl (posted this before so I'll stop). But the first time she saw me really present myself as a girl (dress, makeup, heels - W9Y), all she said was ..."WOW".
Maybe she is expecting a drag queen. So your look in the photo (very nice) would be quite reasonable.
I would suggest - no half way - it just looks too pervy, talk, explain, a natural presentation is way more acceptable than a half natural one........................Debra
I agree with Debra. My wife does not like to see me in the halfway mode and I don't like showing her that either. I understand everyone is different, but I think a guy in a dress is much harder to accept that someone crossdressd. I think showing her some photos first might be best to show her your not an over the top drag queen.
Whatever you do, be very appreciative and take your time with your wife. As you slowly ease her in, I'm sure she will eventually feel comfortable with you. Congrats and good luck!
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http://www.flickr.com/photos/kristinanolagirl/
Better get busy living, or you get busy dying.
I think you look great in the photo you have posted here.....how could she not like it???
I dunno. Maybe ask some of the GG's their opinion over in loved ones?? For me it was more comfortable when I dressed him. Went out and got several outfits for us both and we did like a make over session.
Best bet is to do like others have suggested and simply ask your wife how she'd like to go about this. Will it be a ta-da moment?? or will it be in stages or viewing some pics first? You get the idea. She may have no idea herself what to expect or what would feel right so the talk would help her iron out some of the details in her own mind first as well.
What a profound significance small things assume when the one we love conceals them from us.
Marcel Proust
Have your wife pick out what she would like to see you in. Make her part of it.
Mistybtm
I agree with Debra and Kristina. Please don't do it halfway between male and female. She knows you do this and she asking to see. That's a really nice photo so maybe start with that. Good luck
Thank you all for your suggestions, advice and words of encouragement I think I have an idea as to how I will present myself tomorrow and I will check back in with yall with an after action report
Hope all goes well for both of you.
The only thing I would add is what did you tell her was the reason you like to dress? Mine is the clothes(dresses,skirts,hose) and how they make me feel.
The first time I dressed in front of my wife she could see the nervousness in me, however she could also see the enjoyment it gave me. I ended up trying just about everything in the closet on. This happened about 3 months after I'd come clean to her after 20 yrs of marriage.
i told her about two years ago and the reason was that i find it relaxing and that i just plain enjoy the feeling and the look
Hi Natalle, You look very good in the photo, all the advice is going to be on most of all of our expertise, you have to show her your look there and ask her to help you look better. That might be the ice breaker. After I showed my wife as of Nov 4 this yr. We then shopped together an she helped me with my make up. Yes we have been together 8yrs. JO
I would take it simple as this could open up a whole new work for you and her
I say lay a couple jeans/ slacks outfits out on the bed, along with a couple dresses and a couple skirt outfits. If you have more them one wig lay them all out to. Then lay out a selection of shoes. Then tell her to pick the outfit she would like to meet Natalie in.
Leave the room and let her pick all on her own, unless she asks for your input on your faves.
My suggestion for what it is worth would be to dress as if you were going shopping with her now. Keep it simple but nice. Look like someone she would be happy to be seen with. try and enjoy the moment.
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