Good luck with your wife and the conversation. I'm sure she'll have lots of questions, and it sounds like you are as well prepared to answer as one can be.
Good luck with your wife and the conversation. I'm sure she'll have lots of questions, and it sounds like you are as well prepared to answer as one can be.
Thanks again for the words of encouragement and help. Mikell, the surgical procedure was unrelated to being Trans. Tiffany, I suspect that our wife's talking would be beneficial down the road, I had already thought of that. Heels, as far as things to do differently. Other than coming out before I got caught, no. And that is always a tricky situation. It's unrealistic to one day accept yourself crossdressing and tell the wife "hey, guess what?" So we each have to weigh what we know about our wife and the situations around the house to find the best time and way to do so. I had gotten to the point where I knew I needed to come out, and put mid January as the timeline to avoid interfering with the holidays and other events. unfortunately, I got careless. I had been broaching related subjects testing the waters every now and again. I am doing my best to be totally honest, open and still holding my own. We chatted a bit more about it last night, she did come home, but we stayed in separate rooms. Her current thoughts are she will support me as long as I'm willing to "fix" this problem. She is open to speaking with a gender councilor so I have a glimmer of hope. I do love her and don't want to loose her.
"Fix this problem" has an ominous sound to it. If she means the CDing, there isn't any fix for that.Originally Posted by Ceri Anne
Your wife may not like what she hears from the gender counsellor. She has to be part of the solution as well if your marriage is to survive.
I`m inclined to let the gender counsellor tell her there is no cure for crossdressing.
As an optimist, I would like to think that after the shock wears off she will be able to rationally process your dressing. Some form of acceptance may follow. Counseling for you both as you work through this would be a good idea.
Before you get there,I suggest that you figure out how important and where you stand in the T spectrum,and whether you have thoughts of your lifestyle changing to give you more satisfaction. Then,when you sit down as a unit with the gender counsellor, you can fully express your mindset. I recently was with a girl in transition that has gone through hell at home with family,and the wife is still "trying to pray it away"....So,I suggest you get it right so that the "professional" will correctly understand your mindset and base the discussion with your wife accordingly.
Well, the news gets better. She called my middle brother, the ultra conservative Christian one (I am Christian myself) He is here for the holidays this weekend. I'm working most of the weekend, but he wants to talk to me about this. I don't mind, its just a whole lot of coming out at once.
As far has "fix this problem" is concerned, yes, that's ominous. I'm hoping that with education and talking, she will realize that I'm still the person she has always loved and the characteristics that made me stand out from the other guys are also the characteristics that pertain to my feminity.
As for myself, counceling to determine exactly where I want to go and how ingrained this is in me will be good. I know its part of me, I enjoy expressing both sides of my personality. I don't see SRS in my future, but maybe HRT. Sexually, I already have low T and for reasons of boosting my energy have tried gel T and T shots. Neither really did that much for me and the T shots did nasty things to my eye pressure for glaucoma, so they are out, but I gave it a fair shot. I know with my job, dealing with my customer base, going full time at work would not be good.
Well,you have told us,so now tell your brother the same!!!
It SURE is my hair ! I have the receipt and the box it came in !
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